To Be Human
by Lonessa 8D
Summary: Everything was normal in Blood Gulch - well, as normal as Blood Gulch can get - before the Blues received a tank and two new soldiers in a supply drop. Caboose had little mystery to him, but the green armored soldier was another story altogether. She somehow knew almost everything that happened in the canyon. How is that even possible?
1. Her Name is Tali

The two remaining Blue soldiers watched as the Pelican descended, a huge tank falling once it was released close to the ground. A large crash reached Tucker's ears, and it took a moment for the army green death machine to settle on the ground, its treads bouncing into place. The cobalt blue soldier beside him made a noise of approval as he took in the sight, and stated with the wittiest remark he could at that moment.

"Holy fucking shit. Now _that_ is a tank."

Tucker couldn't agree more, and despite the knowledge that a rookie is coming along with this beautiful piece of machinery, the product of this supply drop dampened his annoyance slightly. He kept one eye still on the tank as he surveyed the Pelican's hatch opening, a regulation blue soldier stepping slowly down the ramp, his helmeted head darting in every direction as the newbie surveyed the boring box canyon they were all stuck in. If anything, Tucker reminded himself, the Reds had to share the boredom with them.

He had to admit though, the newbie looked like he was built just like the tank that he was standing beside. He was tall, taller than both himself and Church, and had broad shoulders and an intimidating walk in the power armor. The gold tinted visor tilted toward them, and the rookie began walking towards them, stopping on the side of the tank perpendicular to their own.

What caused Tucker to raise a brow was the second figure lugging a duffel over their shoulder while descending the ramp as well. This soldier was much smaller than the other newbie, looking almost like he wouldn't even reach Tucker's shoulders. The armor he wore was primarily a forest green with lime green highlights, and instead of gold, the visor was black. A knife was strapped to his chest and two submachine guns resided on either thigh. Lastly, a black cylindrical item with small green lights was clipped to her hip, but Tucker had no clue what it was.

Despite being armed, Tucker scoffed quietly and returned his attention to the tank. It was extremely likely that they would both end up to be idiots, as most of the soldiers in this box canyon were, and they would end up to be either dumbasses that annoy him or just plain assholes that annoy him. Although, Church did fill the role of dickhead perfectly, and he would rather there not be more than one, since whatever sanity he had left wouldn't be able to take it.

In his peripheral, he saw the green soldier move to stand beside the blue one and promptly heaved the duffel into the blue soldier's arms. Not a second after, the green soldier took one look at the two more experienced blues, and then cocked one hip out and placed his hand upon it. Tucker had to muffle a scoff yet again, since it was a rather girlish pose, and focused on what Church was cooing in awe.

"You know what? I could blow up the whole fucking world with this tank!" Church exclaimed, and unless his eyes deceived him, the green soldier huffed a small laugh, his shoulders shaking for just a moment.

"You know what, forget what I said before. We could totally pick up chicks in a tank. Probably two or three chicks a piece!"

"Aw man. Listen to you! What are you gonna do with two chicks?" Church asked with amusement in his voice.

Tucker went to reply right away, a witty comparison between women and Voltron on the tip of his tongue, but a growl sounded to his left and an undoubtedly feminine voice spoke up from the side of the tank.

"I would be _very_ careful on what you say next."

Attention from both Church and himself was directed to the two rookies, what with the blue soldier backing up a little and staring at the smaller green soldier. Tucker blinked, staring the soldier that spoke up and down with slowly growing excitement. A chick?! Command actually sent a chick?!

"…Holy shit! Command sent us a chick!" Tucker exclaimed before taking a small step forward, "Hey babe, would you like a tour? I can–"

"You finish that sentence, and I can't be held responsible for what I'll do to you," She threatened.

"Is that a promise?"

He could practically feel the anger radiating off her, and for a moment, he thought he saw flashes of green electricity from behind her tinted visor, before she promptly ignored him and turned her unnerving gaze to Church, "What is it? You're staring at me like I've grown another head."

"A-Another head?" The regulation blue began, "Oh my god! That would mean there would be _two Tali's_ to talk to me! _Yay!_ "

The regulation blue then proceeded to pick up the tiny green soldier and twirl her around, something that Tucker had to blink at in incredulity. What in the world is going on?

"What the— Caboose, sweetie, I'm going to need you to put me down now," The girl, Tali he supposed, requested with an endearing note in her tone. Tucker was appalled. The _one_ girl that comes around!

"Goddamn it! The rookie is already on base!" Tucker groaned. _What the fuck!?_

"…uh. Hi?" Church prompted, and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, hi. Are you done drooling over a Scorpion or are we standing here for a few more hours?" She sassed.

"Uh, there are no scorpions around here lady. Or none that I can see anyway," Tucker stated slowly. Is this chick out of her mind?

She pointed at the tank, "I mean the tank. It's an M808V main battle tank, nicknamed the Scorpion."

Tucker looked between the tank and Tali for a moment, "Why the Scorpion? It doesn't really look like one."

"Because… because the cannon, y'know, looks like the tail, and… ugh, _fuck_ ," Tali groaned, suddenly realizing that yes, Tucker was right and now she just felt like an idiot, _quickly change the subject Tali,_ "Don't ask me why, it's just like how they named the M12LRV the Warthog."

"… the hell is a Warthog?" Church asked after a beat.

"It's a jeep with a huge fucking gun in the back," She deadpanned, "If I read your report correct, it's the vehicle that the Reds have currently."

More silence. Tucker thought for a moment, remembering his conversation with Church up on the cliffside, "Yeah, you were right Church. No way are they picking up chicks in that thing."

As Tucker said this, Tali slapped her hand to her visor and sighed, thinking to herself, _what have I gotten myself into?_

…

…

…

Tali took Caboose's duffel down to the bedrooms, throwing it into the last unoccupied room besides the repurposed bedroom that had mountains of crates piled inside it. She made a noise of distaste as she passed Tucker's room that was so helpfully labeled _Tucker's room, KEEP OUT!_ She left the idiot Blues out at the tank once they started babbling about their girls back home.

She _knew_ this was a horrible idea. She was ordered to only ensure that none of the troopers are fatally injured for whatever reason, and she had been doing her job just fine while she had been cloaked. Whatever possessed her to sneak aboard the Pelican to properly be introduced to Church and Tucker, she had no clue, but she was already regretting it dearly.

 _Guess I'll still be sleeping on the couch_ , Tali thought to herself, already planning to steal Church's sniper from its spot in the armory gathering dust in the firing chamber. It's not like Church can shoot it right anyway, so she would be doing the Blue team a favor by taking it from him once in awhile.

She power marched up the ramp leading to the top of the base, taking a glance over at Tucker and Church, who were still chatting by the tank. She resisted rolling her eyes, knowing that she would probably be doing that quite often when she was around them. She didn't want to cause them to roll out of her head one day or something.

" _HOLY CRAP, WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY?!_ "

Tali chuckled fondly a little. _Good ol' Church._

The green soldier hopped up onto one of the concrete pillars and held the scope of the sniper up to her eye level as she spied Church yelling. Tucker put his hands up in response, backing up a little, but that wasn't what caught her eye.

The top of a flag passed by her scope, and she blinked in confusion.

Taking the sniper away from her eye, she squinted as she peered over the edge of the base, eyes widening as a regulation red soldier went sprinting past. Was that…

She ran a quick bio scan, and she groaned audibly. _Goddamn it, Donut._

" _Church! Tucker! Get up here!_ " Tali called from her perch, knowing that Church is likely going to get his shout on as he normally did. She prepared herself for the oncoming headache, jumping down from her pillar with the sniper in her arms still.

"For the love of god, what rookie? Bad enough I have this idiot babbling in my ear…" Church trailed off as he spotted the rifle in her hands, " _The fuck!?_ Hands off the rifle, rookie!" He yanked the rifle out of her hands before she could even blink.

And just like that, she snapped. Even though Church didn't know it, he knew how to push her buttons, with his memory or not, and she felt her fingers begin to twitch, wanting so badly to form into a fist.

Tucker and Caboose just ran up the ramp when Tali growled, "Okay, three things. One: I'm _not_ a rookie. Two: _My_ _name is not rookie_. It's Tali. Three: I called you up here because your _precious fucking flag_ has been captured by one of the Reds you oblivious son of a _bitch_!"

Slowly, Church turned to Caboose, "So let me get this straight. You gave this guy our flag."

Tali gaped, throwing up her arms, "Go ahead and ignore me then!"

"Eh, that's just Church's way. If he's not insulting you, he's pretending that you don't even exist," Tucker supplied to her, looking out at the canyon in search of the Red. "There, there he is!" Tucker exclaimed, causing Church to run up to her left and look through the sniper rifle.

"Where? Oh yeah, oh I got him! He's sneaking around back by the cliffs."

"He must be one smart son of a bitch," Tucker commented.

"Or he's just really lost," Tali proposed, since she knew for a fact that Donut had no clue where he was going. Generally, Donut has a horrible sense of direction, much like Caboose does, and being new to the canyon, Donut was more than likely going to be running in circles for quite a while.

"Nah, his armor's Red. That means it's their Sergeant," Church shot down her proposal.

"Or he's a new recruit," She persisted.

"How would a new recruit get past our defenses?" Church questioned her rhetorically, "Nah, he's the leader."

"Uh, you know… he came in through the back door where you guys were standing," Caboose piped up from behind them all.

"Let's take him out then," Tucker ignored Caboose's claim.

"Alright. Say goodnight, Sarge," Church boasted prematurely, firing off four shots and missing by a mile.

"…I can see why command sent you reinforcements," Tali mentioned offhandedly.

"What the– do _you_ know how to use this thing?" Church spluttered.

"Yes."

"Well if you're so confident, why don't you hit him with it?" Church shoved the gun into her hands, and she stared at him, unimpressed.

"Church, you just wasted the entire clip. And I doubt you have another on hand currently," Tali deadpanned, really not wanting to deal with this currently. She literally just introduced herself ten minutes ago, and already a ludicrous situation has risen.

"She's kinda got you there Church… and you suck with that thing," Tucker added, "Oh look, and now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing."

"Alright, that's it! Rookie–"

"His name's Michael J. Caboose," Tali interrupted him.

"Agh, fine! _Caboose_ , Tali, you two stay here while Tucker and I cut him off at the pass!"

"Uh, right!" Caboose nodded once.

"Tucker, you ready? Let's go!" Church ordered the cyan colored soldier.

"There is no way I'm going through that thing."

"Tucker, we don't have time for this! Why would they give us a teleporter that doesn't work?" Church asked to try and convince him.

"I don't know! Why would they send us a tank that no one can drive?" Tucker retorted.

"We already tested the teleporter, remember?"

"We threw rocks through it!"

"So what? The rocks came through the other side didn't they?"

"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff!"

Wow. This was like watching a tennis match. A lot more entertaining though.

"Oh so I guess that's what this is all about then? You're afraid of a little black stuff?"

"Yes, I am. I'm afraid of black stuff."

"Tucker," Church raised his assault rifle, "I almost hate to do this to you…"

Was he seriously going to make Tucker go through the teleporter at _gunpoint_?!

"You wouldn't…"

"I look at it this way. Either A, we go through there, and get the flag back, or B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win!" Church declared, but Tali had had enough. She didn't care who it was, _no one_ threatened their own teammate.

"Private Church," Tali lifted her magnum and aimed directly at his helmet. It wouldn't actually kill him, but Church didn't know that, "I'm going to have to ask you to lower the weapon."

"Oh, are you serious?!"

"I'm usually pretty lax when it comes to this sort of situation, but threatening a teammates life at gunpoint? Uh-uh, not gonna fly. Now, Tucker," She turned to the Aqua soldier, "Extensive testing has been done on this teleporter. You won't be injured when passing through it, I assure you. At most, there might be a small delay of you appearing on the other side."

"You're positive?" Tucker asked.

"I'd bet your life on it," She confirmed.

"Okay," He faced the teleporter, before his brain caught up with what she said, "Wait, what– _ah, fuck!_ "

Church glared at her through his visor, while she shrugged and holstered her pistol.

"So, you pull a gun on me and kick Tucker through a portal and all is fine, but I pull a gun on Tucker and all the sudden I'm Benedict fuckin' Arnold? _The fuck was that Tali_?" Church yelled.

"You started it!" Tau placed her hands on her hips.

"I started it?! I wasn't actually gonna shoot him, while who knows with you! You're not even wearing blue!"

"Fuck off, Church! At least I can shoot straight!"

"Uh, guys?" Caboose called, "Tucker didn't go through the other side…"

"And I just decided I'm not going to use the teleporter!" Church exclaimed, hopping off the top of the base, "I'll be back with the flag!"

"Oh my god…" Tali groaned, ignoring Caboose's questioning glance, "I should've just stayed in camo."

…

…

…

Tali crossed her arms and huffed as she watched Caboose drive off in the Scorpion. She wasn't quite sure what Caboose was planning, but she decided that with FILSS installed inside, he couldn't cause that much damage. Plus, she figured it would be amusing to watch.

" _HEY BESTIE!_ "

"Oh, _Jesus!_ " Tali jumped five feet in the air, whirling around to see the giggling girl waving cutely at her. The green armored agent sighed in annoyance, turning to the oddly colored soldier, "What are you doing here?"

The power armor the younger girl wore was a deep cinnamon color primarily, but the secondary color consisted of a dark prussian blue. Her visor was tinted a deep blue, and a blue plasma rifle was clipped to her thigh. On the opposite hip was a green plasma pistol.

"I just noticed that you came out of hiding, so I wanted to ask you how you were amongst the chaos," The girl replied, a small smile on her face behind her visor.

Tali crossed her arms again, leaning back on one foot, "You should really be over at Red base. Y'know, making sure they don't _die?_ "

"But…"

"April," Tali stepped forward, grasping her shoulders, "I know this isn't the best… _situation_ we're in. But we have to do our job. He'll have our heads if we don't."

"Just like how Libby did her job?" April spat bitterly.

Tali turned away, ignoring the pang to her chest at the mention of _her._ The small square of metal in the hidden compartment of her armor felt heavy in her possession at her name, and she replied with a tired exhale, "I'm not going to start an argument with you. I'm just reminding you of what is at stake. You really didn't think running off like that wouldn't come with consequences if you were caught, did you?"

 _ **BOOM!**_

Whatever April was going to reply with, it was silenced once the two girls took in the sight of the Red team's Warthog cartwheeling in the air, Grif and Simmons running as fast as they could to their base. The tank's barrel recoiled back before thrusting forward again, another explosive shell rocketing from the death machine and blowing a new crater into the ground far too close to Grif and Simmons' feet for comfort. April made a gasping noise before darting away without another word, and Tali contacted her through the link.

 _:Told you so:_

 _:Don't be like that, Tali!:_

Tali couldn't help but be a little proud of Caboose. Caboose scared off Grif and Simmons _and_ wrecked their shiny new Warthog, which will more than likely boost Church and Tucker's spirits. Well, maybe not Church's, but possibly Tucker's. Not to mention, that tank was really powerful, intimidating, _and_ cool.

She watched as Church stood from his hiding spot and shouted down praise to the new recruit, and she couldn't help but smile. It's nice to see him not yelling out of anger, that's for sure.

She tuned into Caboose's radio with her limited abilities, and was puzzled at the dialog inside between Caboose and FLISS… or, she supposed Sheila, since that's what Caboose was calling her.

 _"New target acquired."_

 _"That's not a target, that's Church!"_ Caboose chirped happily.

"Yeah, that's right, it's me! Church! What's going on man?" Church hollered down, and all the blood drained from her face.

 _Oh no… the auto-lock is on Church._

"CHURCH!" She screeched, jumping down to the ground and wincing at the impact (how did they do that so easily?) and sprinting as fast as she could, "GET BACK IN COVER!"

 _Fuck, he couldn't hear her!_

Thinking fast, she found the signal for one of the men's comm units (she didn't know which one), and patched through a link.

"Hey!" She called into the comm.

" _Huh? Tali, how'd you get this frequency? We haven't patched you into the radio yet…"_ Okay, so it was Tucker.

"Tucker, get Church back into cover now!"

" _Wha–why? The Reds are gone!"_

"The tank! It's locked onto–"

" _Target locked."_

 _"What? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me nice tank lady!"_ Caboose cried.

"Tucker, get him in–"

She was nearly to the tank. Over the small slope, past the pile of rocks, and she'd be there. But it wasn't enough.

 _"Firing main cannon."_

 _"Uh-oh."_ Caboose gulped.

" _Uh-oh."_ Tucker mimicked.

 _ **BOOM!**_

" _No_!" Tali's cry was drowned out by the huge explosion, and she watched helplessly as Church's body flew high into the air and landed behind the outcropping, blood spewing everywhere.

Her only comfort was that he was never _fully_ human, and, if he could figure out his ability, can come back as an A.I.

" _Holy fuck_! You shot Church you team killing FUCKTARD!" Tucker screamed at Caboose from the cliff above.

 _:Well that didn't go too well:_ April commented over the link, and Tali growled.

 _:No kidding?:_

…

…

…

Not ten seconds after Church's untimely demise, the tank swung itself around and began firing shot after shot into the Reds jeep, eventually causing it to flip onto the Reds base, and if it were at any other time, she would've laughed at their panicked banter.

Instead, she blocked the one way comm with the Reds.

Tucker ran down the cliff with soot covering his armor, running dangerously close to the tank and yelling, "Why do you keep shooting the jeep?"

"Because it's locked on!" Caboose replied hastily.

"So unlock it!" Tucker stated, as if it were that simple.

"Last time I unlocked it, _I killed Church_!" Caboose snapped in a rare moment.

"Oh, right… keep shooting the jeep then."

She vaulted over the pile of rocks before running up beside Tucker, stopping just before the tank and panting lightly.

"Did you sprint the whole way here?" Tucker asked, bewildered.

"I tried to get to the tank before…" She trailed off, bending over and placing her hands on her knees, "Oh Jesus…"

She stayed there for a moment, muscles tired and aching, breath short and heart racing, staring up at the cliff where Church was standing moments before. Her one objective was to protect him and she had failed.

 _Failed_. _Again. But that's all you're good for, aren't you Taurus? You're a good scapegoat and you're a good distraction when your temper goes straight to your head. That's what you are, and to think that you could even attempt being a protector instead of an assassin, a destroyer, is a joke in itself._

She blinked as she felt a weight on her upper back, drawing her away from the dark place inside of her head. She forced herself to _stop thinking_ and she turned her head to see Tucker gazing down at her with that expressionless helmet.

"Hey, it wasn't your fault that happened."

 _He was… comforting her?_

Huffing slightly, she straightened, his hands slipping off her back and her cold-hearted mask returning only a moment after it was shattered, "Yeah… doesn't matter since it shouldn't have even happened in the first place."

Suddenly, a whooshing was heard overhead, and Tali looked up to see a ship deploy something before speeding off into the sky.

"Ah… that was a bomber wasn't it?" Tali whined, feeling Tucker pull on her arm.

"Uh, Caboose? You might want to get out of the tank. Like now!" Tucker struggled to pull Tali back, who was fighting to get to Caboose.

"I can't figure out how to get this thing open!" Caboose cried.

"Tucker, let me go!" Tali squirmed out of his grasp, sprinting to the tank as the bombs began to hit the ground. _She'll save one. She'll save him._

"Tali, get back here! Rookie, get out of the tank _now_!" Tucker yelled, panicking.

Tali jumped up onto the tank, standing above the driver canopy. Raising her first, she smashed it down on both sides of the canopy, effectively knocking the hinges off, and heaving the metal canopy off of the tank.

"C'mere Caboose… let's go," She helped Caboose out of the tank, pushing him away from it as she jumped down.

"Running, running, running, running…" Caboose muttered as he sprinted, Tau not far behind.

The final blast flipped the tank right on its cannon, treads in the air and life sparking out of the A.I. inhabiting it. She was knocked forward by the blast, shields flashing dangerously. Tau breathed a breath she didn't know she was holding, sandwiched between Caboose and Tucker.

A couple more seconds, and Caboose would've been _dead._

"SHEEEEEIIIILLLLLLLAAAAA!" Caboose drew out his cry, and Tucker joined in.

"Sheila! Sheila, no! Sheila!…wait, who's Sheila?"

"Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend…" Caboose stated sadly, and Tali had the sudden urge to give him a hug.

"Oh, _dude_! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!" Tucker exclaimed.

A dark rain cloud settled over Tali's head, and she clipped the back of Tucker's helmeted head with her gloved hand (she had to hop slightly since he was taller than she predicted… everyone was taller, it was a problem), and stormed off back to Blue base.

...

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...

...

...

 _Hello! Lonessa here, this is my first fanfiction regarding Red vs Blue, and I'm rather excited. I've been wanting to make a story for RvB for some time, but I've never gotten around to it until now. This story is going to jump between time at Blood Gulch to the time before Blood Gulch for the BGC. Sorry if that confuses you, but I will put a note in the beginning of the backstory chapters to let you all know._

 _Also, after school starts again, updates may be a little spotty, so I'd like to apologize in advance._

 _So this will mostly be told from Tali's POV, and sometimes from April's or Tucker's. Honestly I don't plan the POV changes, I just write and stuff happens haha. Oh, and if any of y'all are interested in RWBY fics, check out my other work, The Weight of History._

 _Happy writing!_

 _Lonessa out :)_


	2. Hey There, Partner

_I already had this chapter ready and decided why not. Here's another!_

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

She woke up to the sound of shouting.

Her head poked up through the small hole in the blanket she had left to breathe, lazily rubbing her eyes and yawning quietly. Pushing herself to sit up, she instinctively combed her hair out with her fingers and flipped it to the right, some rebel strands curling around her face and tickling her cheeks. She surveyed the room for a moment as she stood, noting that she had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. the couch was a pristine white with a teal blanket draped over the top, a glass coffee table in front of it. A flat screen TV was set up on the wall, and behind the couch was a pool table. Lastly, there was a sturdy white table pressed into a corner with a lot of drawing supplies and coloring books. Standing, she stretched her back gingerly before wandering to the source of the noise.

 _"I don't know what the technical military term is, but we're pretty fucked up down here! We need men!"_

Tali let out a surprised chuckle. Never in her entire life did she think Tucker would _ever_ say that.

"Uh, no-no no, uh– not like that!" He scrambled to fix his wording, "We need more men to _help_ us!"

Stepping out gingerly into Blood Gulch's unrelenting sun, she saw Caboose and Tucker already in their armor. Caboose spotted her and waved excitedly, while Tucker was facing away from her.

"…Yeah. That got blown up too… Yeah, we know!" Tucker kept talking over the radio.

"…I like the 'in an hour' one," Caboose put in his thoughts, and at her questioning look, he whispered, " _Freelancer."_

… _fuuuu–_

"Yeah, me too. Roger that Command. We prefer the quicker solution," Tucker relayed back to 'Command', "…Whoever he is make sure he can fix a tank!"

"What's a Freelancer?" Caboose questioned.

"Freelancers are independent. They're not Red or Blue. They just fight for whoever has the most money," Tucker explained. He was correct for freelancers classified as mercenaries, but not for the freelancers Command was talking about.

"Like a mercenary!"

"Right," Tucker agreed before adding, "Or like your mom when the rent's due."

"…Oh, that was funny!" Caboose exclaimed after a moment.

"Yeah? You didn't think it was too obvious?"

"No, no, it was good."

"Did Command say who this freelancer was?" Tali questioned as she walked up to them, catching their attention.

"Yeah, it was Freelancer– oh, uh…" Tucker turned to see what exactly Tali was wearing, and she rolled her emerald eyes.

"Freelancer…?"

"I think they said Tex?" Caboose answered for him, since Tucker was far too distracted with the woman in front of him.

 _The galaxy hates me_ , Tali groaned internally. The _exact_ freelancer that she didn't want around Church!

She didn't voice this aloud though, and instead waved a hand in front of Tucker's visor and taunted, "What's wrong, Tuck? Cat got your tongue?"

Tucker looked down at the unarmored woman, and she could hear the smirk in his voice, "Nah, it's workin' just fine. I can show you if–"

"Nope!" Tali interrupted, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going, "I'm good!"

"Suit yourself," He shrugged nonchalantly, but angled his helmet so he still could take a look at her.

Tali was suddenly acutely aware of what exactly she was wearing. After the whole fiasco with Church and the Reds, she had stripped herself of her armor and went to sleep. That, of course, left her in only the skin tight under armor that is needed to be worn underneath the power armor. The body suit was mostly black, but a strip of lime green wound around the waist as well as her ankles, wrists, and neck, and was rather revealing, especially when out in the blazing sun of Blood Gulch and in the middle of a _supposed war zone. Great job Tali, you're thinking is on par today_.

"What's the matter?" Tucker asked cheekily, watching as a blush creeped up her neck.

She was suddenly distracted then when a slight niggling in the back of her mind became more prominent, gradually increasing in, well, annoyance. Blinking, she glanced around, not noticing as Tucker and Caboose stared at her oddly, and bit her lip.

"You said that the Freelancer was named Tex?" She repeated.

"Yeah… that a problem, or…?" Tucker left the question up in the air.

"No, that's fine…" Tali mumbled, looking at something past Tucker, "Just fine…"

She brushed past the whatever the hell color he is soldier and strode purposely to the small rock formation a small ways away from the front of the base. She _knew_ she saw the shimmer, she wasn't hallucinating…

"Uh, Miss Tali? Where are you going?" Caboose called.

"Don't follow me, just do what you do!" She waved a dismissive hand over her shoulder, jogging around the rock formation, and scanning the area.

No, she _had_ to be here, she felt Omega around.

"Tex?" Tali hissed quietly, distantly hearing Tucker yell something.

"…Tau?" A distorted voice asked after a moment.

Whirling around, she saw last of the camouflage effect dissipate from black armor, the figure lifting their hands to grasp at their helmet. A hiss signaled the depressurization in the helmet releasing the clamps, and the helmet was lifted from the mystery person's body, revealing deep brown eyes and golden blonde hair in a messy bun.

"Oh my god!" Tau threw her arms around the blonde, receiving a light pat on the back in return, "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"I could say the same for you," Tex replied kindly, "So this is where the Director sent you."

"Sadly that is the case," Tali grumbled, "I suppose you have already been informed of Church and his status?"

"Still thinks I'm his girlfriend, still is an A.I., and now is very 'dead'," Tex summarized with a smile, at which Tali chuckled.

"Eloquently put."

"You know me, Tali."

"Right. So, I can sense Omega. How's he doing?"

"Not good," Tex suddenly became much more urgent, "Tau, I can't control him anymore. I need to get him out of my head before I do something I'll regret."

"Well, how can I help?" Tali asked, "If you want I can try to scramble his systems for a while–"

"Please do, I need some time to think clearly," Tex nodded eagerly, and after a moment, visibly relaxed, "Thanks Tau."

"Anything for you," Tali brushed off her thanks, "By the way, it's Tali around these guys… ah, _shit_!" Tali suddenly cursed, having tuned into Tucker's radio again, "Church already knows you're here and is warning the other two Blues…what?" She asked after a moment, just noticing that Tex was staring at her oddly.

"Why are you just in your undersuit?"

Pursing her lips, her eyes darted around before she answered, "I think these guys are spreading their empty headedness to me."

"…Empty headedness?"

"Just help me get back inside without being seen."

…

…

…

 _ **Bang bang! Bang, bang!**_

"That's basically it sir. They have five guys there and a jeep," Tucker summed up, watching Tex nervously.

"And your flag," Tex added through her voice filter, making her voice sound deeper.

She reloaded with laziness, throwing a grenade in the direction of the pillar she was shooting, and the target she was shooting around resisted a chuckle.

"Uh, hey Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here," Tucker hinted.

"Oh, _he's_ fine Tucker," Tali shrugged from her spot on the pillar, glancing around at the bullet holes, "Actually Tex, I think your aim is getting dull. Afraid you're gonna hit me?" _**Bang bang bang!**_

"Temper, temper!" She chuckled, observing the three holes forming a triangle around her unguarded head.

"You two… know each other?" Tucker asked, a hint of… _something_ in his voice.

"Yeah. Tex and I go way back," Tali shrugged again, ignoring how bullets pinged around her, "This is how Tex shows love," _**BOOM!**_ "See? Love you too!"

Tali stepped away from the wall and toward Tex and Tucker when the black colored soldier holstered her pistol and took out her assault rifle, looking at Tucker as he talked.

"So, uh… I see you have the black special forces armor. Were you in the special forces?" Tex didn't answer, merely loading her assault rifle with a magazine while Tali pulled on her helmet, "Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from–"

Tex walked away from Tucker with determination, silently asking Tali to follow. She did without question, grabbing her magnum and placing her knife in its sheath.

"Oh okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later!" Tucker called to Tex, and she couldn't help but feel a little bad.

Tex jumped off the base while Tali slid down the side, and before Tex could continue on to Red base, Tali mentioned, "Hey, Tucker and Caboose… they're okay. You don't have to hide yourself around them."

Tex looked at her for a moment before flicking off her voice filter for a moment, "I say it's better safe than sorry. Besides, I've kept this thing on for who knows how long, and I'm more used to _it_ than my own voice."

"Where are you going?" Tucker suddenly showed up on the base, Caboose standing beside him.

Before Tali could respond, Tex spoke up, voice filter back on, "Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back."

And then she began to walk away.

Tali distantly heard Caboose yell something to them, but she didn't bother to listen, and asked, "You aren't really going to kill them are you?"

"No," Tex admitted, not looking at her, "I thought I'd just add it for dramatic flair."

Tali let out a chuckle, shaking her head at the blonde, "Man, I missed you."

"Ditto, Tali. Ditto."

…

…

…

"So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because _somebody_ didn't believe in it."

April muffled a giggle as she leant on the concrete pillar with Grif and Simmons on either side of her, having a stare off of sorts. The laughter she had caused both their helmeted heads to turn toward her, and she said, "Dude, he told you to start running and him and Lopez started taking pot shots at you."

" _Hey,_ you weren't even there Missy, so don't give me sass!" Grif pointed a finger at the oddly colored soldier, frustration in his tone.

"Grif, he told me he thought you were a retarded monkey and he was going to suspend your weapon privileges," Simmons interjected factually, crossing his arms as he did so.

Once April heard that, she made a swipe for the pistol on Grif's thigh, only to have her wrist seized by the orange colored soldier, "I don't think so, April."

"Hey, since I captured the flag, d'ya think Command will give me my own set of armor now?" Donut asked hopefully, the Blue's flag in his hands.

"What do you mean _captured?_ " Simmons objected, "You thought you were buying it at the store you idiot!"

"In his defense, his strategy worked despite what he thought he was doing," April stated factually, elbowing the maroon colored soldier with her free arm, "Besides, there were no casualties and our leader wasn't even present when the flag was retrieved. I'd call that a win."

"Yeah exactly! So do you think there's a shot?" Donut repeated.

"Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog."

"Psh, yeah _right_ ," Grif dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"You wouldn't want Grif's armor, Donut," April denied, holding back a snicker, "After all, he is the color of urine."

" _April!_ I am _ORANGE_ , not yellow! You're the one that's wearing blue!"

April cocked her head at Grif and was about to reply, but she felt a twinge at the back of her neck. Knowing what that meant, she wrenched her head around so she was looking off the edge of the base, eyes narrowed and calculating. She heard Simmons and Grif question what she was doing, but she shushed them and raised a finger to signal for them to be silent. Although this couldn't be seen by her allies, an orangish glow began to form from behind her blue tinted visor, right where her eyes would be located. Her vision didn't change much, only an orange hue around the edges of her vision. A closer look and she spotted the forms of two armor clad soldiers, highlighted by that same orange hue.

 _Uh oh…_

April sighed as she heard Grif and Simmons question themselves over the near silent noises that both Tex and Tali were making below, and the brunette woman knelt down and transmitted a silent message to Tali.

 _:Can you try not to kill them? Believe it or not, I actually like these guys:_

…

…

…

" _Don't kill me! I'm too good looking to die!"_

"Man… he is really kicking their asses… Tali too."

"Why don't I ever get the fucking sniper rifle?" Tucker asked himself.

"You know, I'm really glad Tex is on our side," Caboose lowered the sniper rifle and looked at Tucker.

"Yeah, he's fucking great," Tucker mumbled, still slightly angered at how _easygoing_ and _relaxed_ Tali was with Tex. ' _Oh, that's just how he shows his love, blah blah blah.'_

"I'm glad I was sent here. It was so cool to meet Tali in person!" Caboose exclaimed excitedly.

Tucker furrowed his brows, "In person? You mean you met her before?"

"Yeah. When I was still training she would call me at times to check on my progress. And if she learned I was doing well, she would send me cookies!"

Tucker was puzzled at this. For Caboose to say that made the fact clear that Tali was no rookie. But when he checked her dossier, she didn't even have a rank listed for her, and very little information was revealed about her, most being covered by black ink. What little he did know was that she was a part of some project called Synthesis, and about ten other candidates were in the project with her. What the project entailed, he had no clue, but it added to the enigma of Tali. Her file even blotted out her last and middle name.

"Hey Caboose, did Tali ever mention anything about what she was working on? Or what you would be doing here?" Tucker asked, wondering just why someone as protected like Tali was sent to a place like this.

"She told me some things. But she trusts me with secrets, and I will not betray her. She was one of my only friends at the camp," Caboose droned sadly, before perking up again, "I do know that she has three sisters and one brother, and a lot of not-quite siblings. I… don't know what that means."

"...What about a project called Synthesis?"

He didn't miss how Caboose tensed a little at his question, and he waited patiently for an answer. What he received wasn't what he wanted, "She didn't tell me much... but there were a lot of people that didn't want her to escape from it."

Tucker huffed in annoyance at Caboose's secrecy and loyalty to Tali, since it was obvious in the halting tone that Caboose knew far more than he was letting loose. He'd figure her out soon enough though, since all they ever did in this canyon is talk.

…

…

…

"Did you have to be so rough?" April sighed dramatically, administering bio foam to the new recruit, Donut.

"Hey, I didn't shoot them!" Tex defended herself.

"You threw a plasma grenade on Donut's head!" April exclaimed, standing up, "But he'll pull through. Used up half my reserve of biofoam though."

"Well, the maroon and the orange one are– wait a second, did you just say his name is Donut?"

"Yeah… Franklin Delano Donut," Tali clicked her tongue, scanning Grif and Simmons over for any bruises.

Tex let out a breathy chuckle, sweeping the area with her eyes, "Can't believe the maroon one fainted."

"It was pretty funny," Tali agreed, "I half expected Grif to catch him before he fell."

"I don't need that image in my head, Tali," April whined, rolling her eyes at the older woman. Tali merely lifted her helmet up for a moment to stick her tongue out at the other girl.

That elicited a full laugh from Tex, distorted from her voice filter. She quickly composed herself however, and waved her hand in the air, "Stay here and look after the kids. I'll get the flag."

"Pfft, you just want all the credit."

"Damn right I do!" Tex exclaimed, jumping down into the base.

…

…

…

Well, things could be going better.

Not long after Tex returned the flag, she was captured by Sarge and Lopez, and Tali had to quickly cloak when Simmons woke up and ran to check on Donut. She had taken over administering periodical doses to the injured soldier once April ran off to find Sarge, but she was positive he would make it.

What she wasn't sure of, however, was if Tucker and Caboose would assist them, and if Simmons and Grif would find her when they were walking around so close to her.

"Hold on, hold on. What happened? First Donut's head exploded, then you fainted, and a black thing showed up–"

"Woah, woah, wait! I did _not_ faint, something knocked me out." _Whatever you say, Simmons_.

"Yeah yeah, keep lying to yourself Simmons. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Grif waved off his objection.

Simmons groaned, crouching back beside Donut, "What I don't get is this anomaly in his armor. Something is administering him treatment, but there's no biofoam in his reserves."

 _Ahh… fuck._

"I dunno man, I just woke up! And I saw some green thing run over to him right before the black thing showed up. Maybe that had something to do with it?" Grif wondered.

"Those 'things' you saw were soldiers. And wouldn't blowing up an enemy and then healing them be a bit counterproductive?" Simmons rolled his eyes.

"Uh, we're talking about the Blues here, who just killed one of their own yesterday. Who's to say they wouldn't do something like this?"

"Whatever. Just go get Sarge and tell him what happened to Donut."

"Yeah, okay… and I'm fine, by the way," Grif added as he went down the ramp.

"Whatever, nobody likes you," Simmons called to him, and Tali suppressed a groan. _Idiots_.

Simmons followed after Grif soon after, and she decided then to leave Donut. Her reserve of biofoam was nearing empty, and he was stabilized for the moment. She walked in to see Sarge and Lopez had left and Simmons holding an assault rifle to Tex, while Grif taunted her.

"So, you're a girl, huh?" Tex stared blankly at the orange clad soldier.

"Just ignore him," Simmons suggested, "That's what I do."

"Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are you?" Grif looked a little smug.

"Grif, you do know that she didn't use her weapon to knock you out, right?" April reminded him as she leant against the wall.

"What did I say about sass, April?"

Tali uncloaked behind him, making a punching motion behind him. Tex nodded fractionally so only Tali noticed, and she cloaked again.

"Hey punk. I don't need a weapon to kill you."

"Yeah right. What're you gonna do? _Punch me_?" Grif set himself up perfectly.

Tex jerked her body forward without actually moving her feet, and Tali swung her cloaked arm out, knuckles hitting Grif right in the place a man _really_ shouldn't be hit.

" _What the fuck!_ " Grif yelled as he fell to the ground, hands flying to his crotch, "You fucking bitch!"

"Grif, stop acting. She didn't even touch you," Simmons brushed off Grif's moans as April bit back chuckles, keeping his rifle trained on Tex.

 _:Enjoy that, did you April?:_

 _:Okay, I have to admit that was a little funny. Grif was asking for it:_

"How the fuck did she do that? Are you a decoy? Do you have _mind powers_?" Grif continued, voice raising a few octaves.

"For the love of God, Grif, _shut up!_ "

"Ah!" Grif panicked when Tali bumped her knuckles against his visor, "I'm being haunted!"

"Grif, there's nothing even _near_ you."

"That's kinda what 'haunted' means, Simmons. One minute you're talking to a crazed psychopath, a crazed _chick_ psychopath, and then _bam_! Your ass is getting thrown around like a ragdoll by a phantom-bat-demon."

"…What."

"You may be looking at me like I'm crazy now Simmons, but soon enough, we'll bolth be running for our lives." Grif retorted, crossing his arms.

"Since when did you ever run, fatass? And– wait a minute, _bolth_?" Simmons stopped, looking at Grif quizzically.

"Yeah. What's the problem?" Grif asked with a shrug.

Simmons looked perplexed, "There's no 'L' in both."

"I literally said it the exact way you did. Bolth."

"No, _both_."

"Yes, Simmons. _Bolth_."

"No, you're not hearing me," Simmons waved a hand and shook his head, "It's pronounced _both_."

"That what I'm saying! Bolth!"

 _"No, there's no_ 'L'! It's both!"

"You sound like such an _ass_ the way you say it!"

"Dear god, do they ever _stop_ arguing?" Tex whispered to Tali, who was sitting cloaked beside her.

"That would be a big fat no," Tali replied, "When Church and Tucker would watch them from the cliff, they would yell at each other for _hours_."

"Grif! Quit your yammering and get your kester up here!" Sarge yelled from the tip of the base, "Need some help. Got some more of those special ops fellas coming towards the base."

"As in more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolth go there sir."

" _Both_."

"Seriously man. _Like an ass_."

"Well well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank. Why dontcha both come up, leave the prisoner on her own. We could put her on the honors system! Let her guard herself," Sarge quipped sarcastically, sounding extremely unimpressed.

"Well what about April? She never goes out on the front lines!"

"She's a _lady_ , dirtbag. Show some respect and do the heavy liftin' like a man should!"

"Sexist," April mumbled.

"How did _these_ guys manage to take your flag?" Tex asked in bewilderment, and Tali chuckled.

"Have you met Caboose?" Was all she said as an answer, watching as Grif sighed heavily and marched upstairs.

Simmons turned to resume watching Tex, and Tali suddenly got an idea.

"Hey, I'm gonna try something," Tau whispered to Tex, who only tapped her finger on the ground once in confusion.

Tali slowly stepped up so she was directly in front of Simmons, resisting a grin. At the count of three, she decloaked, and said simply, "Boo."

"HOLY SHIT!" Simmons let out a rather womanly scream, assault rifle flying in the air and him falling straight on his ass. Tali sat there for a moment before turning around.

"Hey, he fainted again!" Tali exclaimed, laughing slightly.

"Oh, lovely. Now I'm going to have to deal with a cranky smartass in a few minutes," April grumbled.

"Okay, that was kinda funny," Tex let out a chuckle before cloaking, "I'm heading back. What about you?"

"I'm gonna make sure the others don't do anything stupid," Tau waved her off, cloaking again to march up the ramp.

"Alright. Be careful!"

…

…

…

As it turns out, they nearly _did_ do something stupid.

Church, unknowing of Tex's freedom, possessed Sarge and tried his very best to convince the soldiers on top of the Red base that he was legitimately a Red. That conversation consisted of Lopez swinging his pistol in Grif's direction, Grif insulting Lopez, and a poorly executed southern accent that ended with spit on the Red Sergeant's visor.

Apparently, being out of a body turned Church into a mindless moron… or that might have been just the atmosphere of this place.

Getting Church out of Sarge's body was difficult, and it consisted of her trying to whisper without the other Reds hearing and poking him in the neck (she could tell he was beginning to get pissed as his voice rose in volume and morphed into just shouting instead of Sarge's southern twang), and eventually he stormed down the ramp and hopped out of Sarge.

"What the– who spit on my visor?" Sarge asked dumbly, stumbling around.

"Alright, who in the _fuck_ keeps poking me!?"

Wordlessly, Tali appeared in front of him.

" _Jesus Christ_!" Church jumped up a good five feet.

"Eh, at least you didn't faint," Tali commented mildly.

Church stared at her blankly, "I'm a fucking ghost. How could I _faint_?!"

"Oh… right," _So he thinks he's some apparition and not an A.I.? How the hell is he not able to distinguish the difference_?

"Alright, how the hell did you get here anyway? We thought you were captured."

"I wasn't, Tex was. Don't worry, she's already heading back to base."

Church looked at her for a long moment again, and she could imagine his narrowed eyes, "How did you know Tex was a chick?"

Tali ignored the question and merely turned around, heading for base, "Come on. Let's get back to base."

"Uh, I can't."

Tali turned, raising a brow, "And why not?"

"Dude, I'm a fucking ghost! You know how hard this shit is just to stay visible and talk to you? Really. Fuckin'. Hard," Church punctuated his sentences with a slash of his hand.

Tali sighed, slumping, "Fine then. Just uh, show up when you can."

"You know, I still don't know why you aren't phased by this! Or how you knew Tex was a chick!"

"Gotta go Church! I'll tell Tex you said hello!"

As her form got smaller and smaller as she walked, Church groaned in frustration as she seemed so very familiar to him. It's like she was a memory he just couldn't reach, and the way she just adapted to the regular insanity around here so quickly and seemed to know so much about everyone was, to put it bluntly, unnerving. Something was up with her.

"Where the fuck did Command even find that chick?"

…

…

…

Tali nearly hit her head when she heard Tucker and Caboose yelling at each other… again.

"Your friends are idiots," Tex stated from her perch on a rock, one hand propped under her head.

"Yeah. I know," Tali sighed, walking over to a soot-free Tucker and a dirty Caboose.

"What? I can't hear you over your constant _team killing!_ "

Tali glanced in between the two, hands on her hips, "God, would you two just stop?"

"He's an idiot!" Tucker and Caboose looked at each other.

"Fuck you!"

"I don't like you!"

 _They're like little kids._ Tali groaned mentally, before speaking, "Michael, I'll help you with your armor later. Just… relax. Let's just get some rest and get this all figured out in the morning."

"Okay!" Caboose chirped, prancing inside.

"I swear, if Church doesn't use his freaky ghost powers to kill him, I'll do it myself," Tucker mumbled hatefully before turning to the green soldier, "So Tex is a chick? I didn't expect _that_."

"Yup. She uses a voice modulator to make her sound like a guy. Unfortunately, the Reds managed to break that, so no more demonic man voice from Miss Tex," Tali thought for a moment, "Well, I guess that is good news instead of bad."

"True that. Y'know for a minute I thought you two were...uh…" Tucker made a vague hand motion before finishing lamely, "y'know."

Tali cocked her head, recalling the unidentifiable tone in his voice from before as a slight smile appeared on her face, "Tucker, were you _jealous_ of Tex for a minute there?"

"Pssh, _please_. As if I have any reason to be jealous. I know all the ladies can't resist me," Tucker boasted before sauntering into base, and Tali had no doubt he sent a wink her way. _Cocky asshole_.

"Tex, come on! Church won't show up for a while," Tau mentioned as she followed Tucker and Caboose inside.

…

…

…

Tali was very grateful that North taught her how to cook, since as it turns out, Tucker never cooked once in his life, Tex's version of cooking included beating open the oven door with her pistol, and Caboose, well…

Let's just say the microwave will not be operational for a _long_ time. Seriously, how quickly Caboose managed to set it on fire and make it explode simultaneously is something she will never understand.

So, while Tucker, Tex, and Caboose changed into their casual clothes (Tex decided it was safer to share a room with Caboose rather than Tucker, so she supposed she would be sleeping on the couch again), she was waiting for the spaghetti to cook all the way through, sauce already set to the side.

Already setting three glasses on the table, she had three plates just to the right and began to pour an equal amount of spaghetti into every bowl, dishing a healthy amount of sauce onto each one. She had already eaten the paste that the Director insisted the people of _Project Synthesis_ take, so she didn't have to worry about concealing it from Tucker or Caboose.

With the steaming bowls in hand, she placed them each on the counter in the center of the kitchen. Footsteps signaled someone entering swiftly and sitting on one of the cushioned stools, and Tali didn't have to ask who it was.

"Red wine I'm guessing?"

"You know me too well," Tex replied, smiling slightly.

Tali retrieved her drink and set it in front of her, mentally noting she looked a lot less worn around the eyes. The bags under her eyes were gone, her hair was freshly washed and still slightly damp, and she wore a black tee with matching black jeans and boots.

"You look much better," Tali commented, turning back around to fix herself a glass of water.

"Ugh, I don't feel it," Tex groaned, placing her head in her hands, "I'm beat."

"Hey, just relax," Tali cooed, "Omega's blocked from doing anything at the moment, the Reds are quiet, you have a place to crash, and lastly, you have North's famous dish of spaghetti served to you by his apprentice!" Tali finished, tossing her a fork.

Tex chuckled, "You know, despite my teasing, I'm suddenly _very_ glad that North taught you how to cook everything under the sun."

"You should be," Tali retorted, "If we kept Michael in the kitchen for a couple more minutes, I'm pretty sure that we would have a nuclear explosion on our hands."

"Like when you tried to play ping pong with Wash?" Tex crossed her arms and smirked.

"Hey, you said you wouldn't bring that up again!" Tali cried, stomping her foot.

"You were trying to use a _fuel rod_. How could I not bring that up?"

" _Um… excuse me?_ _Miss Tali_ …" Caboose whispered loudly.

"Yes, Michael?" Tali asked kindly.

"… _I'm scared… of the scary lady."_

Tali sighed, "Tex, you're not going to hurt him, right?"

"Now when you say _hurt_ …" Tex trailed off, seeing the glare on her friend's face. She mentally debated playing nice to the kid. Yeah, she wasn't going to stay for much longer, but hey, he seemed harmless.

 _Ah, screw it_.

"No… Michael, I'm not going to hurt you. Come on, sit down," Tex pulled out the stool beside her and patted it, struggling to give him a warm smile.

Tali smiled at Caboose, who waved animatedly in return. He was the picture of innocence, with his blonde hair and eyes the same blue as his armor. He wore a simple blue tee and matching pants, while his feet were bare.

"What would you like to drink, sweetie?" Tali questioned.

"Uhm… the bubbly drink," Caboose replied.

"The bubbly… you mean a soda?"

"Yes!"

"With spaghetti?"

"Yes!"

Tex glanced at Tali, confusion on her face as she shrugged and said, "Okay… I guess you can have a soda…"

Tali hesitantly prepared the requested drink and placed it in front of Caboose, holding her finger up before he could take a gulp.

"Michael, I want you to drink this _slowly_. Don't gulp, sip, okay?" Tali stated slowly, waiting for Caboose to nod.

He did, in his usual giddy way, "Okay, Miss Tali!"

As Caboose dug into his meal, Tex leaned over and asked, "Why does everyone here call you Tali?"

"Eh, back when Michael was still in boot camp, I tried to tell him that it was Tau, but I think he misheard. I just went with it though, and now everyone calls me it," Tali shrugged, "I kinda like it. It sounds human, you know?"

Tex nodded her head, "Yeah, it has a nice ring to it. Suits you."

"Thanks," Tali smiled genuinely, feeling the everyday stress from this job seep out of her. Having Tex around made her miss the old days, when it was just her and her squad fighting for what they believed to be right. She could have easily fooled herself that Libby and York were in the next room cracking jokes as the twins bickered about senseless things, all the while April surveyed the scene silently as she played with a lock of her hair, waiting for Washington to show up...

"Nice outfit," A voice she knew all too well spoke from the corridor connected to the kitchen and knocked her out of her reverie. She should have known not to stay in her under armor. Resisting an eye roll, she turned to glare at the smug soldier, only to stop and stare.

Tucker himself was wearing the top of his own under armor, his a different design than hers. Instead of a strip of color around his waist like hers was, his armor color was around the lining of the under armor, and he had rolled up the sleeves to rest right before his elbows. He wore loose sweatpants and was also barefoot, plopping down into an empty seat.

He was actually quite handsome. His eyes were such an intense hazel it looked like they were gold, and black, shaggy hair was messy atop his head, but it gave him a cute appearance. Despite what his name hinted his race to be, he was actually a light skinned hispanic, and his skin was smooth and unblemished.

To shorten the raging thoughts in her head, a simple summary was, _holy fuck he's hot._

Just then, she realized that Caboose was looking between the two of them confusedly, Tex was gaping at her, and Tucker, having caught on to why she was staring, had a smirk pulling at his lips.

 _I am so fucked,_ Tau thought as she cleared her throat and replied, "Just keep those eyes up, Tucker."

She turned to get him a drink when she heard him chuckle, and she realized that she would have to sit next to him, while Tex was still gaping at her and Caboose was just being himself, which was _no_ help at all.

 _:Tex, stop staring!:_ Tau hissed through the link in her armor. _Ah, perks to being a part of Synthesis._

 _:I don't mean to! Seriously, Tau, you're looking at_ _ **Tucker**_ _?!:_

 _:I didn't expect him to look like_ _ **that**_ _! Oh, fuck! What do I do?:_

 _:First thing you should do is stop standing in front of the fridge like a moron and sit the fuck down!:_

 _:Dammit! Why does the pervert of all people have to–:_

 _ **:Tau**_ _!:_

 _:Alright! Jeez…:_

She fumbled with the water bottle as she sat down, handing it to Tucker without looking at him, "Here."

"Thanks, _Tali_ ," Tucker drew out her name and let his gaze linger on her, and she had a sneaking suspicion that a blush was rising in her cheeks and he _knew_ what was causing it.

 _:Tau, stop blushing.:_

 _:How the fuck do I_ _ **stop**_ _blushing?!:_

"Miss Tali? Is something wrong? Your face is getting all red… oh no, _are you turning into a Red_?!" Caboose yelled.

 _:Ah, fuck me.:_

 _:You know, with your reaction, you should really be saying that to Tucker and not me.:_

 _:Shut up, Tex!:_

"No sweetie, I'm okay," Tali smiled forcibly. She generally wasn't good in these sort of social situations, merely letting her anger take over. But, since she was not surrounded by more understanding individuals like the freelancers, she had to push the anger down.

: _Oh, you know I'm going to have fun with this.:_

 _:Wha– Tex what does that mean? What are you gonna do?:_

 _:Dunno. I'll think of something.:_

"You sure you're okay, Tali?" Tucker smirked down at her cheekily, "You know, I could help–"

"No, no no no, I'm okay," Tali stuttered, glaring at Tex, who was just barely holding back her laughter.

"Hey Tali, where are you sleeping? 'Cause I had to pair up with Caboose," Tex recovered from her laughter, only to purposely _fuck her_.

"The scary lady is my roomie!" Caboose chirped, before deflating slightly, "I hope she doesn't kill me."

"I don't think we have another room for you," Tucker mused aloud, "Church's room is… well, _Church's_ and the other bedroom is more of a storage room now."

 _:Ah, yeah, thank you Tucker.:_ Tali grumbled over the link sarcastically.

 _:Hey Tau?:_

 _:What?:_

"Why can't she just share a room with you, Tucker?" Tex asked innocently.

 _:I thought of something.:_

 _:You bitch! Fuck, Omega did more damage to your brain than I thought!:_

 _:Just for that comment, I'm making sure you share a room with Tucker for_ _ **life**_ _.:_

 _:I hate you.:_

"No, that's fine!" Tali waved off nonchalantly, while on the inside, she was freaking out, "I can just sleep on the couch."

"The couch? Tali, that's _uncomfortable_!" She could hear the evil smirk in Tex's voice even if the blonde wasn't actually smirking, "Tucker, you don't mind, do you?"

"Uh," Tucker looked a little confused at Tex's tone, not sure if it was threatening or… _playful_? Before answering, "No, I don't mind."

 _:Why does your playful side always fuck me?:_

 _:Oh, I won't be fucking you, Tau.:_

 _ **:TEX**_ _!:_

 _:Hey, there isn't much to entertain me in this canyon, so this'll have to do.:_

 _:Ugh, I fucking_ _ **hate**_ _you!:_

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _I just love Tex. This is going to be slightly AU btw, since Tex isn't the Beta A.I. in this. Just wanted to point that out!_

 _Lonessa out :)_


	3. One Piece to the Puzzle

"You know, for a chick, you pack really light," Tucker commented offhandedly as he pushed her crate of items into the corner.

Tucker's room was fairly plain, and identical to the other rooms in the base. It consisted of a bed with regulation blue colored sheets, a dresser, a cylindrical storage compartment for his power armor that retracts into the ground, a rather unstable nightstand, and a door that leads to a private bathroom. Despite the room being fairly empty, having two people residing inside will be a little bit of a squeeze, but considering _who_ exactly was sharing with him, he didn't mind all that much.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Tali scowled, trying not to look at his face. She was fiddling with something that she had snatched from her crate almost immediately once Tucker walked in with it. It looked to be a silver metal square, but he didn't know what its purpose served, and he wasn't about to ask a volatile and dangerous woman while in close quarters.

"It's just–uh, you know…" Tucker rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Girls like clothes and shit, and… stuff."

"So since I'm a girl, I'm materialistic?" Tali raised a brow and crossed her arms.

"What? No! I didn't mean it like that!" Tucker rushed to correct himself.

" _Psst… I think you're just making her more angry_ ," Caboose whispered unhelpfully to Tucker.

"Yeah, thanks Caboose," Tucker grumbled as she went into the bathroom, "Now get out of my room."

To be honest, Tucker didn't really know what to think about Tali. She and Tex had this weird friendship that involved shooting at each other, and Tali didn't really care how mad she made Church. If anything, she actually _enjoyed_ talking to the cranky bastard, which confused Tucker even more. And when talking to any of the Blues in general, she jumps between being extremely sarcastic, teasing, and just straight up pissed, with the exception of Tex of course. It's like she didn't have the ability to smile genuinely, like something was weighing her down.

God, women were so _complicated_.

The only exception to that was at dinnertime, where she was extremely flustered after accidentally (he supposed) checking him out. Not that he minded that tidbit, since he knew he was kind of a Sex God (Bow Chica Bow Wow). He also noticed that Tex was practically dying of silent laughter that she was trying to hold in. The whole situation in the kitchen was really weird.

And now she was going to be sleeping in his room.

Tucker knew one thing for sure, he hadn't expected that she would've looked like she does. Her green eyes were a pure emerald, and her hair was shiny and tricked him into thinking it was black, but small glints of green popped out at him from time to time. She had a cute little button nose, and voluptuous lips. She also had the oddest shade of lipstick that was constantly applied to her mouth, the shade being a dark green. Her eyebrows were carefully plucked into a pencil thin shape, and her skin had a nice tan. Her body was that petite hourglass shape, and although she was pretty short, she made up for it in _attitude_. She was fucking fearless, and it showed when she taunted Church's freelancer ex-girlfriend.

Speaking of Tex, their form of communication seemed to be borderline telepathic. It was like while they were at the kitchen table, Tex and Tali were having their own private little conversation. How, he didn't know, but he had a hunch that those two have been out in battle together before, possibly even partners.

He didn't have time to dwell on that when Tali came out of the bathroom, letting her hair cascade down her shoulders. Just a glance at her made him think one thing.

 _Ah, fuckberries._

She was wearing a spaghetti strap green tank and black shorts that just barely covered her ass, and had her arms crossed to hide herself. He couldn't stop his eyes from wandering, drinking in her bare legs, perfect bod, and– holy shit, was that a tattoo?

Yup, since she was facing him, he could see a tattoo on her shoulder trailing to her upper chest. It looked like an animal that was rearing its head to charge, but before he could tell what animal exactly, she brushed her hair over to cover it.

"So… Do you have an inflatable mattress or something…?" She trailed off.

"Uh… no. We're gonna have to share I guess," Tucker adopted a more cocky attitude, taking a step forward, "Though, I can do more than just _share_ a bed–"

She suddenly surged forward, pushing him into a wall and holding her arm over his throat threateningly. He would've been intimidated, but it was kinda funny to see her standing on her toes to try and reach his neck, and even then she had to extend her arm.

"Don't. Try. _Anything_."

He held up his hands in mock surrender, easing her arm off of his neck, "Hey, I'm not gonna do shit… unless you want me t–"

" _No_ ," She stressed, combing a hand through her hair as she walked over to the bed and climbed in, burrowing into the comforter.

Tucker frowned and resisted a sigh, silently making his way to the other side of the bed and laying down, careful to not touch the emerald eyed woman. Something told him that, if he did, there would be parts of him that would be missing in the morning, and despite how ludicrous that sounded, he reminded himself that she was good friends with Tex, the half-lady, half-shark that almost killed the entire Red team in the span of a couple hours. He thought he heard her say something in her sleep, but he was too tired to figure out what.

He had to say though, he was more than happy to wake up and see _that_ face every day.

…

…

…

April had just finished piecing her armor together before walking out of her room and bringing up her radar in her helmet. It turned out to be very useful when trying to find her teammates, or more specifically, Grif when he sneaks off for his daily naps. After reading the radar for a couple seconds, she concluded that the entirety of Red team was on top of the base, and better yet, Donut had returned from his visit to the emergency room back at Command. Thank goodness he survived.

As she ascended up the ramp, she overhead Sarge talking to Lopez, "Lopez, I order you to speak a language we understand."

" **Negative,** " Lopez replied, much to her surprise. It seemed that Lopez was now capable of speaking Spanish, a language that she happened to know and the rest of Red team did not. This should be interesting.

"Nice to see you back with us, Donut," April greeted as she reached the top of the ramp, seeing the now pink soldier, "And uh… nice armor."

"It's _lightish red_."

April blinked, shaking her head before directing her attention to the brown robot, " **Hello Lopez. It's nice to finally be able to talk with you beyond just your silent stares.** "

" **Thank goodness. One of you understands me. If I had the ability to speak and no one could understand, it would have been worse than not being able to speak at all.** "

April smiled, " **Well, I'm glad I could prevent that.** "

"Uhm...April?" Grif questioned slowly.

"Yes Grif, I know how to speak Spanish," April replied to his unspoken question, "I actually know I variety of languages, save for a select few. Sangheili is one of them."

"… _Lawelawe 'oe 'ōlelo hawai'i?_ " Grif asked in a foreign tongue after a moment, one of the few that April did not know. She only recognized it as Hawaiian.

"Uh, sorry Grif. I don't speak Hawaiian."

"Hey, I can teach you some phrases," Grif offered, and April smiled as he fumbled into awkwardness, "I-I mean, you don't have to learn if you don't want to."

"I'd love to!" April exclaimed, "I think it's an interesting language. I've never had a chance to study it like I have with others."

"Alright alright, quit the jibber jabber you two," Sarge cut in, though his comment was directed more toward Grif than it was April, "I suppose since our fair lady of the Red team can speak Spanish, that designates her as our official translator! Now the first order of business; Lopez, would you like to shoot Grif?"

" **Yes, sir. Thank you.** "

…

…

…

" _Libby, what on earth are you doing?"_

 _When Tali reported in today, she couldn't imagine what she was seeing. Systems were failing, wires were sparking from the ceilings, and the monitors were a crimson red. She tried to scan the ship for other agents, but nothing seemed to work, and she struggled to maintain her calm composure._

 _Libby was staring out at the fast approaching ship, one hand resting on the railing that the Director usually stood in front of. He was nowhere to be seen, and that only heightened Tali's anxiety._

" _I'm just taking in the view, Tau," Libby replied, flipping her dark blue hair. She turned and blinked her azure eyes at her younger counterpart, cobalt blue lips curving into a small smile, "Won't you join me?"_

" _What are you— Lib, we need to_ _ **save the ship**_ _! We're the only ones that can right now!"_

" _Libby?… Libby? LIBRA!?_ "

Tali awoke with a ragged gasp, coughing as the air tumbled down into her lungs awkwardly, and pressed her open palm to her forehead, feeling the sweat droplets that had formed during her sleep. She hated these nightmares with a passion, cruel things that were created purely by her mind and the horrors _he_ had put her through. Growling, she pushed her feelings down.

She rubbed at her eyes hard, sucking in a breath as she sat up. Her chip in the back of her neck ached, and she groaned as she jumped off of the bed and went about piecing on her armor. Luckily, Tucker was already gone so she could dress in peace.

As she ran, she pulled her helmet over her head, sighing in relief as her black tinted visor shielded her eyes from Blood Gulch's relentless sun. She saw the rest of the Blues and Tex standing a little ways away from the base, and as she jogged to them, she frowned quizzically as Caboose surged forward and gave Tex what looked to be a suffocating hug.

"I love you."

"…Do I even want to know?" Tali asked cautiously as she stopped beside Tucker.

"Tex is going to fix Sheila," Tucker explained.

"Tali, can you, y'know, _get him off me_?!" Tex yelped as Caboose's hold got even tighter. _Man, he is too strong for his own good_.

"Sweetie, can you let Tex go?" Tali asked, and after a beat, she added, "Michael, the sooner you let Tex go, the sooner she'll get Shelia up and running again."

"Oh, okay! I'm sorry!" Caboose chirped, taking a few steps back from Tex.

Tex wordlessly nodded to Tali in thanks and began to make her way to the tank, the rest of the Blues following close behind her. Tali kept a close eye on the Red base, seeing that Grif and Simmons were located on top of the base, in their usual positions as they bickered back and forth no doubt. April was perched atop one of the concrete pillars that was closest to Grif, and Tali waved discreetly so the Blues wouldn't notice. The action was seen by the other woman and her reply was a silent affirmative through the link, and Tali turned to her current objective.

"Tali, I'm gonna need your help with the tank," Tex called back.

"Alright," Tali ran up to stand beside her, the others hanging back, "So, how do you want to do this?"

"Well, I guess we can both take one side…?" Tex trailed off, observing the inconvenient position the tank was in.

"Alright… well, an overpowered freelancer and a…" Tali looked behind her to ensure the troopers weren't close, "hybrid can probably lift this with enough effort. Come on," Tali muttered so the Blues couldn't hear, taking hold of one side of the tank while Tex gripped the cannon.

"On three. One… two… _three_!" Tex grunted out as she began to lift the cannon, Tali throwing her entire body into the effort.

"Agh, _this thing… is heavy_!" Tali groaned as the tank flipped over thanks to the momentum, and landed on its treads with a loud _**CRASH!**_

"Okay. Let's get to work."

…

…

…

"So, since you're helping us, I guess you're not as mean as I thought," Tucker began as Tex fiddled with a few wires, Tali replacing the driver canopy that she had smashed previously (Oopsies?).

"I… wouldn't say I'm mean…" Tex began, "I just get hired to do mean things."

"Yeah… like blowing up a Pelican that _someone_ was on!" Tali mentioned from on top of the tank.

"Oh, are you still on about that? I said I was sorry."

"You shot South in the foot, Tex," Tali retorted bluntly, giving her a look.

"Eh, the bitch deserved it. And isn't that close enough?"

"Uh… no?"

"You two know a person named South?" Tucker asked, bewildered.

"Yeah… she's kinda…"

"She's a major bitch. And a sore loser. And a backstabbing little cock–"

"Alright Tex, we get it," Tali sighed before turning back to Tucker, "By South we mean South Dakota."

"You mean the state?"

"Yeah. We also know a guy named North, York, Michigan…"

"What's your favorite state? We know someone with the name," Tali summarized for Tex, jumping off the tank, "canopy's fixed."

"Oookay… anyway," Tucker changed the subject, "What I meant was, you enjoy it."

"Well, I think it's important you enjoy what you do," Tex replied after a moment.

 _:Really? I don't understand if you're trying to scare the living shit out of these guys or be their ally at times.:_

 _:What if I was trying to do both?:_

 _:Then I'd say it's working.:_

"So, let's say I wanted you to kill Caboose," Tucker gestured to the regulation blue soldier, "Would you do it?"

 _:Tex, please don't–:_

"…Are we talking hypothetical here, or should we start talking numbers?"

 _:Goddamnit.:_

 _What? I can't help it.:_

 _:Tex… you have an unhealthy addiction to money.:_

"Yeah I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

 _:Damn!:_

 _:Come on, Tex. You wouldn't have actually killed Michael.:_

 _:How do you know that?:_

 _:Because Tex,:_ Tali resisted a giggle, _:Michael is your roomie!:_

 _:Ugh… don't remind me.:_

 _:I'm sorry, who has to share a room with Tucker? Yeah, karma sucks bitch!:_

"Tucker! What the hell is my body still doin' up here?" Church called down from the cliff.

"Uh, that's part of being dead Church. Your body doesn't move around that much. Maybe you haven't grasped the concept yet," Tucker replied with a confused look.

 _:Oh, right. Probably should've buried him.:_

 _:God, he's gonna start yelling isn't he?:_

 _:That's Church for ya, Tex.:_

"Alright, let me rephrase that then. Why in the _hell_ haven't you buried my body yet?"

" _Buried_?" Tucker started, "With what? All we have are pistols and rifles! What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?"

"Well then how about shipping me back home? Y'know, let the love ones pay a little respect!"

"Well Church, here's your girlfriend," Tucker turned to Tex, "Tex, as one of Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?"

Tex said nothing, but Tali could feel her annoyance and anger toward the Director flare through the link. She turned and resumed to work on the tank, and Tali joined her, holding a spanner.

"That was a stirring eulogy," Tucker commented sarcastically with a grin behind his visor, "Rest in peace, good buddy!"

"You know I have family besides my girlfriend," Church commented, and at that, every muscle in Tali's body tensed. Tex noticed this immediately.

 _:Tali…:_

"Oh yeah? Who then?" Tucker replied, crossing his arms.

"If you must know, I have four sisters," Church huffed, not at all amused by Tucker's antics, "Libra, Taurus, Scorpio, and Aries."

"...the fuck kind of names are those?"

Tucker's response fell to deaf ears, and Tali dropped the spanner in her hand with a loud clatter. She didn't register the eyes that turned to her, didn't notice as Tex tried to talk to her through the link, and didn't notice how Tucker asked in confusion what was happening to her. No, her mind was going a mile a minute, and memories flashed across her mind as she couldn't believe the words Church has just uttered.

 _He remembered. He remembered his sisters but he doesn't remember what he is, or what they are,_ _ **we**_ _are, and he doesn't...doesn't remember when Libra…_

 _:Tali, come on honey, you have to snap out of it!:_ Tex pleaded.

 _:Sis? Is something wrong? I'm getting a lot of negative feedback from your end.:_ April chimed in, her concern felt even through this distance.

 _:_ _ **He remembered**_ _:_

 _:Oh...Well, I'm here if you need to talk, Tali:_ April stated quietly, though to Tali it was merely static at the base of her skull. She ignored it completely in favor of the ghostly apparition in front of her.

"Tali… are you okay?" Tucker asked as Church appeared beside him, tension seen even in his apparition. Tali gulped, eyes darting from Tucker to Church, and then to Caboose approaching from her right. Tex placed a comforting hand on her upper back, and she breathed in through her nose and out for her mouth.

"It's better now than never, don't you think?" Tex asked softly, almost soft enough so the others couldn't hear the proposition. Tali looked at the black armored agent from the corner of her eye and nodded slowly, turning back to Church.

"Leonard...I haven't been entirely truthful," Tali began, seeing both Tucker and Church recoil a bit at Church's first name, "I…" and then, with shaking hands, lifted her hands to her helmet, yanking the offending piece of armor off with a nervous exhale. Her emerald eyes locked onto Church's visor, and she could just sense that he recognized her.

"Taurus…" Church said slowly, and Tali flinched at the name. She hated the name Taurus, and preferred the shortened Tau, and Church knew this. However, since she had no doubt he was currently shocked at who was standing in front of him, she said nothing to correct him.

But, knowing Church, an argument would soon rear its ugly head now that she was revealed.

"Whoa whoa whoa wait _what_?!" Tucker butted in, unable to keep his gaze on Tali or Church for more than a second before darting to the other, "You're his… and he's you're…"

Tali sighed, her green lips twitching into a small smile, "Hey big brother."

…

…

…

"What in the _fuck_ is wrong with you? I asked you to do _one_ thing and what do you fucking do? You–"

"I what? Follow my brother into a career that I was born into, just to make sure you don't get yourself killed?"

"No, you decided to leave home and place yourself in a goddamn box canyon–"

" _What_ home, you ass!? "

"And you put yourself in danger and are probably scaring Libby to _death_ –"

"Well, I'm doing better than you, aren't I? Mr. 'Oh I'm not really the leader but I'll just self-promote myself because that's how big of a _fucking ego_ I have', and then you don't even recognize your sister when she arrives and get yourself killed–"

"I haven't seen you with your helmet off until now! And Caboose killed me!"

"Leave Michael out of this!"

"Why the fuck should I? He shot me with my own _fucking tank_!"

"Whatever! At least I'm not the one pretending to know what I'm doing and constantly getting team killed!"

"Maybe that's because we can't decide whether you're a Red or a Blue because your armor is _green_ –"

"Green is _made_ from blue, you dumbass! God, I forgot how much of a dick you can be!" Tali flung her arms up and sat on the ground heavily, glaring at the apparition.

"Well maybe you should've _told_ me who you were when you first got here!" Church exclaimed, and she could imagine his face go red. If he had a face, that is.

"I _assumed_ you didn't remember me, so I kept my mouth shut and just let myself become Tali! And you know what, I liked being Tali a lot better than I liked being Tau! Tau is treated like shit! Example A, this argument!" Tali screeched.

"This is not an argument," Church tried to restrain himself from yelling, but she could tell he was failing, "I'm just a little surprised that my little sister shows up out of nowhere and I don't find out until I mention her over my _dead body_!"

Tali punched the ground angrily, feeling tears pool in her eyes, "Do you have any idea what it was like to think you _forgot_ about me? All you mentioned was your girlfriend that I didn't even know existed!" _And she still doesn't exist, but let's not get into that right now._

Church shut up for a second, something that she was very glad for, but the silence didn't last long.

And what he said just about killed her.

"Well, maybe if the Pelican you landed on never even showed up, I wouldn't be dead, and none of this would've happened. Hell, I might've been home by now, you never know," Church said coldly, practically seething with anger.

She saw him flinch a little when tears leaked from her eyes, and she wiped at them angrily, "Maybe so," She hissed icily, "But either way, you're dead, and I'm here. Now go and mope by your corpse and leave me be."

Tucker couldn't tell very well, but Church actually looked… _hurt_ by her words, before huffing and disappearing. He glanced at Tex, who had covered her visor with her hand and was looking just downright tired, and Caboose was staring at Tali… er, _Tau_ with concern.

"Um… Miss Tali? Are you really Church's sister?"

She sighed then, and he couldn't help but think someone should never sound that defeated, "Yes, Michael, I am. I was just… scared to reveal it to him."

"…Should I call you Tau now?"

"No, no, just stick to Tali, Michael," Tali insisted, wiping a few tears away and sniffling, "I like it better than Taurus."

"Oh. Okay… I think Tali is a pretty name."

"…Thanks sweetie."

Tucker noticed that Tali turned slightly to Tex, and watched with curiosity as Tex stared _back_ , and while it was beyond creepy, he couldn't help but think he was missing something.

Caboose was trailing up the cliff to probably try and talk to Church, but Tucker didn't feel too inclined to follow. He didn't have siblings, but he was pretty sure that Church burned Tali pretty bad.

After some debate, he stepped forward and kneeled down beside the helmet less woman, trying his best to ignore the solid glare Tex was giving him, and hesitantly put his arms around her. _Fuck, he didn't know how to comfort girls_!

For a moment, he was pretty sure that Tex was going to throttle him, and she even moved to do so, but she froze midway. That was when he felt two arms snake around his neck, and something soft press into his chest piece.

 _Okay… so, she's hugging me back… what now?_

He glanced at Tex, and he guessed she could tell he was a little lost on what to do next, and opened a private channel.

"Tex, what do I do?"

"I… don't know. Church hasn't ever fought with her like this before, so this is new territory," Tex admitted, looking down at the woman in his arms with pity.

"Man, did Church have to say that? That was just cold," Tucker shook his head, "I still don't understand why you put up with him either…"

And he nearly had a heart attack when Tex fucking _chuckled_.

It wasn't an amused one though, it was everything but. It held weariness, sadness, regret, pity… _damn, the Church family is messed up._

"Church doesn't know when to stop when he gets the ball rolling. And as for why I put up with him… I don't. It's too complicated to explain."

"Uh, okay?" He honestly had no words for that explanation.

"Just keep hold of her. She'll come back eventually," Tex turned from him to work on the tank again.

"Come back? Come back from what?"

He could sense the sad smile from behind Tex's helmet, "From her nightmare."

…

…

…

" _Why don't you come enjoy the view with me, Tau?" Libby smiled._

" _Taurus, what the hell are you doing? Get your head together!"_

" _Shit, she's going to get us all killed."_

 _An airlock opening. Armored bodies flying out. Steel and yellow flash by, soon buried by debris. An EVA helmet covered in snow, blood on the visor. Tan armor frozen by purple paint, stuck in frozen horror as the grenade ticks down in seconds to explode._

" _Failure. That is what you are based on. Failure and rage."_

" _ **Tali! Come on, snap out of it! I know you're in there!... Dammit woman!"**_

 _New situations come to mind. A blue soldier being hit by a explosive shell. Black armor cartwheeling in the air after a plasma grenade stuck to their breastplate. A rocket zooming towards the unprotected back of an aqua soldier. A nuclear explosion with a colorful collection of soldiers at ground zero._

" _ **TAURUS!"**_

 _ **SNAP.**_

Her eyes flew open at that god awful name and she blindly swung her fist towards the voice that uttered it, hearing a yelp of pain a moment later as her fist connected with a chestplate. She blinked numerous times before the armored man rubbing his jaw came into focus.

"Uh… sorry Tucker…" Tali trailed off, before adding, "Oopsies?"

"Eh, Church warned me that you didn't like your name," Tucker shrugged off her apology, getting to his feet and offering her a hand.

Tali took the offered hand, standing upright and brushing off dirt and grass. Slipping her helmet over her head, she looked expectantly to Tucker, who looked like he was going to say something.

"Uh, are you okay? Church wanted me up on the cliff, but I wanted to make sure–"

"Yeah, I'm good Tucker. You can go, I'll be fine… and thanks," Tali nodded gratefully to him, masking her vulnerability. Tucker had already seen too much, more than she would even allow Caboose to see, and that was saying something.

"Hey, anything for you baby–"

"Tucker. _Go_ ," Tali stressed, but for some reason she was smiling.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'," He replied while walking backwards, and she shooed him with her hand until he turned around.

 _:What'd you see?:_ Tex asked quietly through the link, and if Tali could see the black armored agent's eyes, she would bet that her brown orbs would be staring at her with carefully hidden concern and pity. Tali hated pity.

 _:The same as before and then some,'_ Tali sighed, cocking out one hip, _'My mind created more simulations about the blues here.:_

 _:Like?:_

 _:Michael being shot by Sheila, Church exploding because of a 10-megaton bomb in his gut, Tucker getting hit by a rocket… and you… well…:_

 _:What happened to me?:_

 _:Once you finished fixing the tank and started shooting at the Reds, some girl in pink armor threw a plasma on you.:_

 _:Oh… well, shit. I'll be careful then.:_

 _:Yeah, that's probably a good idea.:_ Tali sighed. She shot a look at Tex, and Tex seemed to sense it, looking back at the green soldier with a mixture of pity and sympathy. Wordlessly, Tex wrapped an arm around Tali for a moment, hugging Tali to her side before letting go and resuming in her maintenance on Sheila.

Tali calmed her beating heart and resumed in assisting Tex, pushing away the hurt and the nightmares as she always did.

...

...

...

 _Special thanks to meep15 for liking and following this story! It means a lot to me to know someone's enjoying it thus far :)_

 _Lonessa out._


	4. Not Quite As Planned

"What the hell is my asshole brother yelling about up there?" Tali sighed.

"He's saying the only way to make me stay is by telling the Reds about how I'm fixing the tank. Hey, if your simulation was correct, then technically, Church is the instigator for my death. Thanks a lot, cockbite," Tex muttered at the end.

"And since we know, that's not going to happen," Tali stated firmly, "But we also have to keep an eye out for the other's reasons of death."

" _Oh man, why do_ _ **they**_ _get a girl on their squad?"_

Both women looked up at the two soldiers staring at a Red in pink armor through a sniper (which was really creepy), and Tex spoke up.

"You do realize that me and Tali are chicks right? And we're standing _right here_?"

"Tex, when we say girl, we mean a _girl_ girl… and Tali is Church's sister, so that doesn't count," Tucker explained.

" _Excuse me_?!"

"And what the hell does that mean?"

"Nothing!" Both Caboose and Tucker said quickly, backing away from the edge of the cliff.

"What the fuck? Me being Church's sister makes me obsolete from gender? What's that logic?!" Tali hissed.

"Tali, I've been hanging out with these guys for just a day and I can tell you with _unwavering_ confidence that this logic you're talking about just doesn't exist."

"Uh, hey Tex?" Caboose called down, "You didn't happen to overhear Church's secret plan to warn the Reds that you're fixing the tank?"

"Example A of that nonexistent logic, Tali."

…

…

…

April watched through the scope of a sniper rifle as Tex and Tali slowly but methodically fixed the tank that Sarge utterly destroyed in that airstrike just a few days ago. The surge of emotion she felt from Tali through the link was thankfully cleared up rather quickly. Apparently Church had discovered Tali's actual name, but thankfully nothing else concerning his creation. Tali never mentioned anything about Church yelling about April, so she assumed that she was still incognito in this canyon. The Blues still don't even know that she was a girl either, which was a miracle in itself.

"Hey," Simmons asked after the silence became prolonged. Lopez's departure certainly did make things quieter, since after he talked briefly with Tali he just started spouting maintenance reports and estimated to himself just how much Grif has to work to find a good hiding spot (and apparently, he works more in finding a hiding spot than he would when performing the duties he's hiding from), "You ever wonder why we're here?"

April nearly groaned when Simmons brought that god awful question up again, and she tilted her blue visor so she could send an annoyed glare down at the maroon soldier from her spot on the concrete pillar. Her efforts were ignored, but when she noticed Grif giving him a long look that screamed are-you-kidding-me, she laughed silently to herself.

"No. I never, _ever_ wonder why we're here. Semper fi, bitch."

"HEGERHERGERK!"

"...Uhm. You okay Lopez?" April turned and raised a questioning brow to the robot who was convulsion before standing stock still, and Grif and Simmons turned to the robot with confused expressions as well behind their helmets.

"What's wrong with Lopez?"

"I don't care," Grif huffed quietly, and April frowned at his suddenly saddened mood. She jumped off the pillar and nudged his arm, seeing him tilt his head toward her a little. He sighed again, "I hate this canyon."

" **Guys! I need to give… you a… warning?"** Lopez began in a voice that seemed… off, " **What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I can't speak Spanish!"**

"Uhhh… sure."

April cocked her head, looking at the robot in pure confusion as she tried to piece together what Lopez meant… _WAIT. HOLD ON._

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," April mumbled to herself, low enough so Church, who was possessing Lopez, couldn't hear.

"Hm? What is it?" Grif asked, being the closest to her. She merely shook her head.

" **No, listen to me! The mean woman and her partner are going to kill you! They are fixing the tank!"**

Grif and Simmons both turned to her, and April laughed nervously, "W-What?"

" **It is a very… big… tank. It will shoot you in the face if you don't do something!"**

"Hey, if you decide to live in a country, you should know how to speak the language!" Grif suddenly barked, a little peeved that Lopez was babbling yet again.

April looked behind her, seeing Tex hop into the tank. She narrowed her eyes. _What is she doing?!_

"Enemy!" April yelled, pulling the sniper to eye level before shooting at the explosive shell being fired at them. Her aim was steady as the bullet hit the explosive shell dead on, causing it to explode before it hit its target. She didn't have time to admire her handiwork, since Grif grabbed her wrist and pulled her to cover.

" _Son of a bitch!_ "

"Okay, that's not good!" April coughed as she crouched on the ramp, looking at Grif and Simmons, "So we probably should have gone out and made sure that tank was irreparable earlier."

"Okay, how the hell did you hit a tank's shell casing out of the air?!" Grif ignored April's comment, instead trying to comprehend how April's aim was that accurate.

"I don't think now is the right time to ask questions when a tank is blowing up our base!"

" _Simmons, I'm in the Warthog. I need you to take the gunner position once I swing around the side!_ "

"Roger that, sir!"

"Uh, I'll just stay here. With April. To guard this ramp," Grif declared promptly, causing April to roll her eyes.

"Right. Because it's _vital_ to our victory," Simmons stated sarcastically, turning without another word and jumping onto the back of the jeep as Sarge pulled around. They were gone in the next second, racing off towards the tank in a stupid display of bravery.

"So, they'll be back in like a couple minutes right?" April proposed.

"Oh, definitely."

…

…

…

"Thank you for activating the M808V main battle tank. You can call me Sheila."

"Well, that was easy… ish," Tali shrugged, watching as Tex climbed up onto the tank, "Uh… Tex?"

"Tali! Block Omega again! Quickly!" Tex suddenly yelled.

"Wha– I can't! I already blocked him, remember?"

"No, it's not that. He's… fuck, tell Caboose to turn off his damn radio!" Tex looked crazed, struggling against Omega's commands.

"Oh, shit! Michael, I'm gonna need you to turn off your radio… like now!"

 _"Oh… but I'm taking to Church…"_

 _:Hello, Taurus.:_

Tali paused, throwing up walls in her mind, _:Omega. As much as I'd love to have you rooting around in my head, I'm going to ask you to_ _ **leave**_ _.:_

 _:MuahHAHAHA and how would you do that, you sniveling– AHHH YOU BITCH!:_

Her armor sparked with green electricity, teeth gritting as she felt a piercing pain in her head. She screamed in her mind, _:GET. OUT.:_

 _:FINE! Your blue friend will be a fine host.:_

 _:Wha– No!:_

And then the pain was gone.

She was suddenly brought back into reality at the sound of the tank firing, and the distant screams of two of the Reds. She blinked, seeing Tex in the tank and a pink armored soldier running up onto of Red base…

"HEY BITCH! Remember me? I saved something for ya!"

 _That's the fucking plasma grenade_!

"Tex, get out of the tank now!"

"I can't, Omega locked off my armor's motor controls and is still controlling me!" Tex responded with a negative.

"Fuck! Sheila! Open the driver canopy now!"

"I am sorry, but only the operator can instigate that action–" Sheila began.

"Do it or I'll smash it open like last time!"

"… Driver canopy opened. Thank you for using the M808V main battle tank. And for the record, machines have feelings too."

"Duly noted, now come on Tex."

"Still can't move!"

"Oh, for _fucks sake_!" Tali clambered up onto the tank and grabbed Tex, hauling her resisting body out of the tank, " _Goddamn, Omega you're an asshole_!"

"Agh, how the hell is he still talking in my head?" Tex asked herself.

"Let's not worry about that, just… dammit, when did you become so _heavy_?!"

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"Sorry Tex, you can't intimidate me like you do them. Now move your ass and get out of there!"

"When I regain control of my limbs, I'm killing you Taurus!" Tex growled, struggling to work her arms.

Tali managed to pull Tex's torso out, her legs getting stuck on something in the tank, and– _was that the sound of a sniper going off_?

Okay, whoever was shooting at the grenade was a sucky shot, and everyone is either oblivious or blind _and_ deaf besides her.

She cried in triumph as Tex's legs emerged from the driver seat of the tank, just her feet dangling over the opening–

And then the grenade landed on the very tip of her boot. The fucking _tip_.

"Are you joking right now?" Tex screeched.

"So fucking close– _Tex_!"

Tex shoved Tali back as hard as she could, sending her sprawled beside Sheila's treads, and the plasma grenade exploded in a bright blue orb of light, blinding her momentarily as Tex flew through the air.

 _:Tex, talk to me!:_

 _:I-I'm okay…:_

 _:Don't lie to me!:_

 _:You said talk to you, so I am!:_

Tali crawled over to Tex, not liking the scary amount of blood that was pooling around her. An icy ball formed in her gut as she surveyed Tex's mauled leg, plasma burns scorching her armor badly, eating through to the skin. Something akin to a breathy whimper hiccuped from her throat at the sight of her partner in this condition, and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to fight back the persistent tears that threatened to flow. This was bad, _really_ bad.

"Michael, Tucker, get your asses down here and get Tex to the medical bay, I'll try and stabilize her!" She yelled over the radio before turning to Tex, "Allison, you've gotta hold on!"

"Trying…"

She pumped biofoam into Tex's armor quickly, programming her own reserve to do the same. _Fuck, without a healing unit, it won't do much good_!

"Tex, I'm gonna need you to stay calm, okay? I'm gonna take off your camo unit for a bit, and give you my healing unit. You can't move while I'm doing this though, got it?"

" **Texas! Texas!** " Umm… why was Lopez running towards them yelling Texas?

Oh holy shit.

" _Church_?"

" **Yes! It's me.** "

"Why are you in Lopez's body? And why are you speaking Spanish?" Tali questioned, only to be drawn back by Tex.

"Tali… Tali…" Tex coughed, "Omega's gone…"

"I know, Tex," Tali sighed, glancing up at the regulation blue soldier that was making his way down with Tucker close behind, "…I know."

…

…

…

" **Is she gonna be okay? Texas, can you hear me? Say something!** "

"Church, shut up and let me work!" Tali yelled, pushing the brown robot back.

To say Tali was panicking would be an understatement. She was overwhelmed with the amount of chaos surrounding her, something that she would never admit, and she committed her attention to the broken body of her close friend as everyone was screaming or complaining around her. This wasn't easy, and if only she didn't have a possessed robot breathing (not literally) over her shoulder, some semblance of calm would come back to her.

But Church persisted despite her silent pleading for him to _get the fuck away_.

"What the _hell_ is he saying?" Tucker whined.

"Tucker, get ahold of Command. Tell them to send a medic," Tali ignored his question, turning her attention to the blonde in front of him.

" **Are you even certified to do this?!** "

"Do you see anyone else trying to save her?" Tali hissed.

" **That's not a yes**."

"Church? When did you turn Mexican?" Caboose asked in confusion, which was usually what Caboose was half the time.

"That's racist! Just because he's speaking Spanish doesn't mean he's Mexican!" Tucker exclaimed, before leaning to Church, "Uh… are you?"

" **Dear god. Tau–** "

" _Tali_. I like the sound of it better," Tali requested.

" **What the fuck? It's your** _ **name**_ **!** "

"Yeah, and my name sucks! Now just call me Tali before I cross your wires and make you explode!" Tali yelled back.

"Bow Chica Bow Wow!" Tucker butted in.

"What the hell?"

" **Did Tucker just– oh, I'm gonna fucking kill him!** " Church clenched his fists and took a step toward the soldier.

"Church. _Leave_."

" **Fine!** " Church growled, turning to go out the exit before adding, " **And** _ **don't**_ **let Caboose follow me.** "

Caboose gasped, "Church is talking to me! What is it Church?"

"Oh, Church said he wants you to tell him all about yourself, since he's your best friend!" Tali smiled at the young soldier.

" **Oh you bitch!** "

"Oh-Oh my god! We can have sleepovers, and play truth or dare! Okay okay, I pick truth!" Caboose bounced on the balls of his feet.

" **Ugh, for the love of god.** "

"Hey, Tali? Command said they'll send a medic as soon as possible," Tucker piped up.

"What did they mean by 'soon as possible'?"

"They mean that Mr. Medic will be here when he can–" Caboose began.

"No no, not that Michael, like how soon?" Tali rephrased.

"Uh… they didn't say."

" **This is just fucking typical! God, why does Command have to be so useless? It's** _ **Command**_ **!** "

"That's exactly right Church. It's _Command_. Now go away and have a talk with your bestie," Tali shooed him. She watched as slowly, Church stomped out of the medical bay with Caboose following behind like a lost puppy. Tali turned back to Tex, well aware of the aqua soldier that was still watching her, "Tucker, what is it? I'm kinda busy here."

"Sorry, it's just...you know Tex really well, don't you?"

Tali didn't stall once in her quick movements to seal Tex's wounds, "Yeah, I wouldn't call myself her partner if I wasn't. What about it?"

"...No reason," Tucker said after a moment, just studying her for a moment. Then, after Tali stopped to set down her medical instruments, Tucker laid a hand on her shoulder, noticing how she tensed up at the contact, "She'll pull through just fine."

As Tucker left, Tali let out a shuddering breath as she looked over Tex's prone form, still feeling trickles of panic still spike through her system. Tali scoffed, though it was weak and her statement was aimed more to convince herself, "Of course she will. She wouldn't be my partner if she couldn't."

…

…

…

In the medical bay, Tali sat at a desk and stared back at the holographic terminal, a brunette with dark grey eyes staring at her on the screen. The girl on screen twirled a lock of chocolate brown hair with caramel highlights throughout her hair around her finger, a thoughtful frown on her face.

" _So, is she stable?_ "

"Yes, though I can't do anything else for her," Tali sighed, running a hand through her hair in agitation, "We just have to wait until Tex wakes up now. Though that might be a while, since I had to put her in a coma."

" _Oh_ ," April coughed, her face blurring into a flurry of pixels until she reformed, " _Well, she's probably going to kick your ass once she wakes up from it._ "

"She can sure try," Tali said with a smirk, "Besides, Tex was moving around too much. I would have hurt her more if I didn't put her under."

" _Whatever you say. So...are we still in the clear?_ "

"...He's getting closer. As far as I can tell, he abandoned his Pelican and he's trying to find his way through the cave systems. Lucky for us, that's a lot easier said than done thanks to Hawaii."

" _Well that's nice and all, but I'd rather he not be here at all. Why do you think he's after us this time?_ "

"Depends on if it's Hampshire or California. If it's California, then he's still chasing after whoever was close to Libby in Freelancer. If it's Hampshire, well...I was ordered to chase him off on that planet for a reason."

" _Ugh. I'd rather not deal with either of them. By how you've described them in the past, Hampshire is a psycho while California is a pervert._ "

"Yeah, well, there's not much I can do about that. I'm going to try and head out in a minute, see if I can find anything out from that Pelican. Maybe I'll even find the agent."

" _Tali, it's one o'clock in the morning, and you haven't gotten any sleep in the past six weeks beyond quick power naps. You need to rest, Tali._ "

"I'll be fine, April. You just worry about the Reds," Tali ended the call before April could get another word in. She appreciated April's concern, she really did, but she had work to do, and simulation troopers to protect. She didn't have time to sleep.

She got up from the desk and began to creep cautiously down the hallway, silently hoping that she would be able to slip into her room and suit up without being noticed. Tali thought she was in the clear, but as she turned to next corner, she found herself staring at the aqua nightshirt of Lavernius Tucker.

 _Um_ …

"What are you doing up?" Tali questioned urgently, frozen and armor less in the hallway. _She was going to their room to suit up, dammit! Not have a conversation_!

Tucker was dressed in his nightwear, a simple shirt and sweatpants that were his armor color. He arched a brow, leaning casually against the doorframe with his arms crossed, and replied, "Waiting for you to show up. You know it's one in the morning, right?"

"…So?"

" _So_? You've been avoiding us all for the past six weeks, and I've had to listen to Church rant at me in Spanish! And I thought Church's voice was grating in _English_ ," Tucker threw up his arms, fed up.

"…uh-huh. Look, can I just get my armor now?"

"What? _Hell_ no! You haven't been sleeping at all since Tex was hit with that grenade!"

Tali resisted rolling her eyes in annoyance as Tucker had somehow jumped onto the same wavelength as April, and sighed out, "So?"

"Stop saying 'so' like it's not a big deal!" Tucker waved his arms wildly, golden eyes narrowed with annoyance.

"Look, Tucker. I got work to do, so step aside," Tali planted her hands on her hips and glared.

Tucker scowled, pushing off the door frame and stomping towards her. She backed up a few steps, eyeing him warily, but he advanced on her quickly and soon enough, her feet were dangling in the air.

"…Put me down. Right. Now," Tali ordered very slowly, voice low and dangerous.

"No. You're going to sleep, and I don't mean you drift for two hours and spring up. You're getting some fucking sleep even if I have to punch you out."

 _What. The. Hell_.

" _I_ will punch _you_ out if you don't put me down _RIGHT NOW!_ "

"Okay," He surprisingly compiled, only for her to realize he was only dropping her into the bed.

Tali tried to get up, but Tucker forcefully pushed her back down, and she directed a glare up at him only to meet his own of insane intensity. She sighed and rubbed at her temples tiredly when she looked away from Tucker's hard glare, and sighed, "If I go to sleep for a bit, will you get off my back?"

"Figuratively speaking? Yes."

"Okay, fine– wait, what do you mean by just figuratively– _Tucker_!"

"Listen," Tucker began as he tightened his hold around her abdomen, "I know for a fact you're gonna try and sneak outta here once I fall asleep, so this is the only solution… and, y'know, bonus for me."

Tali scowled deeply, struggling against his hold – which wasn't easy, since he was probably at least twice her size – before muttering, "I swear to god, if you try _anything_ when I'm sleeping–"

"What do you take me for?" Tucker asked before adding, "I know for a fact that if you already knew what I was gonna do, my arm would be broken."

"A more accurate assessment would be your neck that would be broken."

"…Oookayy. Didn't need to know that."

"Just so we're clear."

Tali sighed before forcing herself to relax. It wasn't easy, since physical contact wasn't always the best choice when dealing with her, and she tried to conjure up peaceful thoughts as the warmth of Tucker's front pressed to her back seeped through her shirt. His breathing was deep, hot air hitting the back of her neck, but much to her surprise, he didn't try to roam his hands on her body. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she prayed that no nightmares would brew in her dreams with Tucker right there.

…

…

…

"Hey, Tucker. Wake up, we need to– _what the fuck is this?!_ "

Tali's eyes jolted open and she jumped up, staggering to the side a little, while Tucker hit his head on the wall behind him and squawked, rubbing the back of his head. She immediately gained her signature 'bitch face', since she was actually getting a night's sleep without nightmares or dreams in general, and that was her favorite type of sleep. That thought brought her to the new factor that Tucker was holding her during her sleep, and she pushed it away. That was not a food for thought she was willing to consider.

"Oh… you managed to get him to speak English," Tali stated, frowning at him.

"Wha–? Oh, yeah. What're you doin' in our room Church?" Tucker recovered, blinking owlishly.

Church, in his newly painted body, scrambled for words, "I was–… but you–… how–… _WHAT THE FUCK_?"

"Stop yelling! It's too early for this shit…"

"Church, use your words," Tali sighed as she rubbed her forehead.

Church glared at them both, flailing his arms as he screeched, "What the hell are you doing in bed with my sister you moronic fucksock!"

Tali blinked, "…Moronic fucksock?"

"You've just noticed that we sleep in the same room? Wow, you really are unobservant," Tucker replied blandly, watching with mild amusement as Church freaked out even more.

"What the– how long has this been going on?!"

"Uh, what?" Tali asked in confusion. He couldn't seriously be suggesting...

"Huh? Woah, wait wait wait–" Tucker held up his palms.

Church didn't let either of them finish their thoughts, "You know what? I'm so fucking done with this army," And then he walked out.

"...I'm just gonna go make breakfast."

"Yeah… okay."

…

…

…

So, it was a weird morning.

Caboose, after hearing about Tali and Tucker's 'sleepover' (seriously, she was going to throw an EMP at Church's robotic ass later), he began to share with the entire base about how he had this dream where Tex was starring in a romantic comedy, directed by the pink armored soldier back at Red base before she just started going on a rampage and killing everyone, then Church started flying and was singing with Caboose the 'Best Friend Song'.

Yeah, they still didn't even know.

After listening to Church alternate in between yelling English and Spanish at Caboose for about an hour, Tali decided she had enough, and snuck out, clad in her armor.

Only to run straight into the Reds.

"Can I not have a moment's peace around here?" She asked herself as she sprinted through the cave entrance, Sarge and Simmons hot on her heels… and Grif twenty paces behind.

Just as she pressed her back on the cave wall, she heard Sarge speak out.

"Alright men! This is the plan. Grif, you run out in the very center of this cave and throw down your weapon, screaming bloody murder–"

"Uh…"

"And then, when the dirty blue runs out to stab you in the back, make sure that you turn just enough so Simmons here can get a clear shot. Once you're on the ground writhing in pain with a stab wound, Simmons will wound the blue, and I'll take him prisoner."

"Excellent plan, sir!" Simmons gushed.

"Shut up, kissass. And I'm not going in there!" Grif exclaimed, crossing his arms, "There could be _bats_!"

"What? It's a cave, of course there's going to be bats!"

"Then I'm _definitely_ not going in there!"

"Enough with the gibber jabber! Now Grif, get moving!"

"Fuck that!"

Well, this is… interesting.

Shaking her head, she activated her camo, waiting until she was fully cloaked before walking towards the Reds, rolling her eyes as they were still bickering.

 _Alright, once I'm out of here I can finally check out who came in on that… uhh…_ Her train of thought was halted when her armor flickered in and out of camouflage, until her armor unit let off a burst of electricity.

"OW!"

She glanced over at the Reds, who were now all staring blankly at her. _Well this is great timing._

"ATTACK!"

The Reds surged forward, all firing at the green agent, and she ran as fast as she could further into the cave, taking puffs of air as she did so.

"I'm reconsidering letting Tex kill these guys," Tali murmured to herself as she dodged the spray of bullets, and for a moment, just one moment, she thought that she could out of this easy. But if there was one thing that Tali hadn't learned just yet, it is that even thoughts can jinx you.

In this case, grenades started flying all over the place, bouncing off the cave walls and throwing debris everywhere.

"Okay okay okay! Who gave Sarge access to explosives?!"

Okay, this was _not_ good. He was going to bring the ceiling down around their ears if he kept throwing all those grenades! Wait… is it called a ceiling if it's in a cave?

"Donut! Get in here and use that arm!"

"Okie dokie! RUN AND HIDE YOU DIRTY WHORES!"

 _Grenade! Grenade at her feet!_

"AHH!" She bolted from her hiding spot, shrapnel raining around her and somehow missing her, and just kept running running running…

And then she saw headlights.

"How did they get the Warthog in here?!" She groaned, and was surprised when they answered.

"IT'S A PUMA, BITCH!"

"NO ITS NOT! IGNORE HIM!"

"FUCK YOU SIMMONS!"

She quickly flipped on her voice filter and retorted, "Looks like a Puma to me!"

"TOLD YOU!"

"SHUT UP, NUMBNUTS!"

"Hey!" Tali called, having recalled Grif's admission of fear and planned to use it to her advantage, "Is that a bat?"

"Bat? Where? Oh god we're gonna _fucking die_ –"

"Grif, stop weaving all over the place!"

"Brace for impact!"

As expected, Grif freaked out and drove them straight out of the cave, and smack right into a rock.

"Huh. That worked perfectly!" Tali exclaimed as she ran out of the cave, dodging bursts from assault rifles and shotgun shells.

...maybe this was a sign to her. She just shouldn't go outside the base alone from now on, since nothing good came of it.

…

…

…

Tali cracked her back audibly as she strolled down the hallway, drained after the long chase. April had taken the liberty of scouting the area where the Pelican landed, and with some well placed shots from her sniper rifle, managed to scare off the armored agent that was lurking around the ship. Sadly, she couldn't get a good look at what colors exactly the freelancer was sporting, but she did detect an A.I., so it could be California or Michigan.

"Uh, I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

Tali hesitated just in front of the motion sensor for her room's door, and turned an odd look to the possessed robot. She blinked owlishly at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Caboose… er, O'Malley covered the entire room with mustard… it's not pretty," Church continued when the silence became prolonged.

"…O'Malley?"

"Who the fuck knows. Caboose is being Caboose, isn't that enough said?" Church sighed, and Tali was confused. _Why was he talking to her willingly_?

"What kind of question is that?" Oh… she said that out loud. Oopsies.

"It's just… you weren't exactly elated to realize that I was… y'know…"

Church looked about as offended as a robot could, "Well of course I was happy to see you! It's just how I found out that was a little… jarring."

Tali rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, looking away, "Yeah, that probably wasn't the most successful family reunion…"

"You think?" Church quipped sarcastically, before adding, "I just don't want to spend my entire time in the army ignoring my little sister, okay? It was hard enough leaving you guys, especially after all that shit with Scorpio and Aries."

"Yeah…" Tali kept her eyes downcast, wondering how much he really did remember of their time in Project Freelancer.

"Hey, how are they? Do you know where they are, or…?" Church trailed off.

"Libra's…she's okay," The lie tasted bad on her tongue, but she knew that telling him would cause him to remember more than he should, "Scorpio's still missing, and I've talked to Aries over the radio a couple of times, but that was a while ago," Tali informed him, deciding not to reveal that she was here, "I haven't exactly kept tabs on Aries when I'm trying to uphold my duties, so I have no clue where she is."

"Oh, right… forgot about that," Church crossed his arms, "In any case… I'm glad you came. And I'm sorry about what I said, I really am."

"…Wow. I never thought I would see this day," Tali slowly smirked, "That the great Leonard Church would stop stroking his ego for once–"

"Stop it," Church demanded, "I'm not gonna lie, I'm still pissed you didn't tell me you were, uh, _you_ , but I'm glad you're here."

Tali smiled, genuine and bright, and replied, "Thanks, Church. I mean it."

They stood there for a moment, and Church cleared his throat as he looked to the side.

"Alright. Enough of this mushy shit. Go do something productive, soldier!" He ordered.

Tali chuckled and saluted dutifully, "Sir, yes sir!" And ran off, Church's laughter following after her.

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _Thanks to AAA222, PyroPsycho, and EMyra for following! It really helps motivate me knowing that people are enjoying this story! :)_

 _Also, note that next chapter is going to be one of the backstory chapters that I believe I mentioned in one of the past chapters. It will give you guys a bit more information about Tali and April's involvement with the Reds and Blues as well as Project Freelancer._

 _PyroPsycho: I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! And thank you for your support, it really helps._

 _Boogie445: Thank you, I really appreciate the review! As for your question, I never really thought of why Caboose is the way he is until you asked. My immediate thought would be that his mental deficiency is caused by Tex and Church messing up his head when they began firing at Omega in his head, though I do think the Freelancer theory is interesting as well. I think Caboose knows what he is trying to say most of the time, but it just doesn't come out right. Does that make sense?_

 _I am making the finishing touches on the next chapter, so if I were to give an estimate on when it will be published, I'd say at the latest Thursday. Happy writing to all!_

 _Lonessa out._


	5. Prisoners to this Box Canyon

_I sat down and cranked out the last touch ups for this chapter a lot earlier than I thought I could, so here we have two chapters in one day! Also, this is before the Reds and Blues were assigned to Blood Gulch._

... _Before the Beginning…_

 _"_ It would seem that you both have decided to directly disobey my authority and go AWOL. Being a part of the five total subjects of Synthesis that have been a success, that was a highly unintelligent idea."

Tau felt seething rage underneath her skin as the Director gazed down at her, and she replied flippantly with an eye roll, "Because staying would have totally increased our chances of survival. Not like agents have been dropping left and right or anything."

" _Enough_ , Agent Taurus," the Director snapped coldly, green eyes drilling holes into Tau's matching emerald orbs.

"Hey, I'm gonna clue you in on something, Director. Five outta ten is an F," She sneered as his glare hardened, and the soldier pushing down on her shoulders added force to try and make her cooperate, but it backfired, "Ooh, trying to assert your dominance, asshole? Well just know, even out of armor I can still kick your ass."

" _Tau_ ," April hissed from her seat beside her older sister, " _Now isn't the time to be a smartass_."

"It's always time," Tau grumbled. She was cranky enough as it is, and with others reprimanding her, she wanted to punch a hole in either the wall or the Director's face. His form of punishment wouldn't be successful, that much Tau was sure, since she didn't regret helping her sister for one second.

" _Agent Taurus!_ "

" _What_?!" Tau roared, "Is my disobedience hurting your ego? News flash, Director, I never respected you and never will after what you've done to us, to _all of us_!"

"You will be under constant supervision of Agent Florida and you will protect the Alpha at all costs, failure to comply will result in termination—"

Tau groaned, tilting her head back and practically headbutting the stomach of the soldier behind her, "You are such a _dick_."

She knew the lecture well, since she wasn't exactly the most obedient hybrid he created, and the Director had already stated the punishment multiple times. The neural collar was already starting to make her neck itch, and the chip on the back of her neck caused the skin around it to become inflamed. The damn things are set to deliver shocks if she disobeyed a command or tried to escape, and if the Director didn't want her around anymore, it was the equivalent to an electric chair. The same collar was hooked around April's neck, and the only thing she wanted to think of right now was how to get them off.

"Well hello there everyone," Agent Florida came in with that extremely creepy parental tone of voice. He was like the grabby uncle that you had to deal with but would constantly cuss out in your head, "I see you two will be my deputies for this operation."

"Do you have to make it weird, Butch?" April whined a little, Tau's sarcasm and general negativity causing her to relax in the cold environment to an extent.

"Weird? Oh, please. I am merely stating the situation in the way I see it, so you can see my point of view. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones and move on from this, and I really hope you two think the same."

Tau wanted to yell in torture. This was _not_ going to be fun.

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

"So… these are your lowest ranked soldiers," April stated with her arms crossed and one hip jutted out. She had to crane her neck so she could see the maroon and orange colored soldiers up on the steel bridge above, her helmet off as she breathed in the sweetened scent of dewy grass. Florida was watching in the view of far above, since he was in blue armor and this was a Red base, and April was sent out to get the summary of the two soldiers.

"Yes ma'am," the leading officer of Danger Canyon, "Grif is extremely lazy and disloyal, as he tries to sneak away from his exercises on a daily basis, and Simmons, although intelligent, has far too many fears to complete his exercises."

"And the Drill Sergeant, who is he?"

"That's Hammer. He lacks the ability to… inspire his troops. He is far too lackadaisical with his troops, and he wishes to one day become a war hero, though with the way things are going…" The CO trailed off.

 _"Perfect. These are the men for us, Agent Aries."_

"Right," April responded to both Florida and the CO before turning to the grey armored soldier, "Send these three on the test. I want to make sure these men are for the job."

"Wait you— you're actually considering these guys?"

"I leave no stone unturned. Now—"

 _"Grif, get over here right now!"_ Hammer yelled from one side of the bridge.

 _"Yeah, how? Jump over him? You want me to fall and die? I'm not taking any unnecessary risks!"_

April sighed. Yeah, they're perfect for this job.

"I'll get them down and call them to your office. Just one second," April told the CO, taking the sniper rifle from her back and aiming above the maroon and orange soldier's heads.

"How are you going to—"

 _ **BANG BANG!**_

 _" **WHAT THE FUCK!?** I thought this was training!"_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _"Fuck this I wanna move again!"_

April smirked before placing the sniper on her back and smiling up at the three Reds, "All three of you are to report to the Commander's office right now."

 _"The fuck?! Were you trying to kill us or something?"_

"On the double, Grif."

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

"Sir!" Hammer stormed in with Grif and Simmons close behind, "These two showed willful insubordination to their Company Leader. These two colluded with each other in order to not complete the exercise."

" _Objection_! I've never colluded in my life, and I resent the implication!" Grif exclaimed.

"Do you even know what collusion is?" Simmons questioned harshly.

"…I plead the fifth, your honor."

"Enough! All three of you have been a disappointment to me. Hammer, you are not the leader that you think you are. And Grif and Simmons, you two need to be whipped into shape!"

"I'm sorry we let you down, sir! Uh, it won't happen again," Hammer stuttered.

"Hey, he doesn't speak for me. I'm more mildly inconvenienced than sorry," Grif interjected, and his blunt admission caused April to snicker.

"What is wrong with you?!" Simmons shouted.

"However," The CO reeled in their attention again, "One of our more experienced soldiers has taken an interest in you, and would wish to see you in a real live combat scenario."

"A whuzzawa?" Simmons blanched.

"I'm sure that she can explain further. And I am also certain that you will also give her the respect she deserves," The CO said forcefully, a threat lingering in his tone. April merely chuckled softly before walking into view of the three troopers.

"There's no need for unspoken threats, Commander," April pat his shoulder once, probably a little harder than necessary, "I'm sure that these _fine_ soldiers will pass this little test with flying colors, whether they show respect or not."

"O-Of course, I apologize, Agent Ar—"

"With that settled," April squeezed his shoulder tightly to halt him from speaking her name, "I suppose introductions are in order," She clapped her hands together, drinking in the sight of the three dumbfounded men, "Greetings, I am April, adviser here at Danger Canyon. I've been monitoring the progress of everyone throughout this boot camp and I've found most promise in you three. This test will determine whether or not you three are right for a job that I will soon be departing to."

"I am honored to accept this test ma'am, and I will do my best to make you proud!" Hammer bowed his head slightly.

"Not as honored as me, uh, m-ma'am!" Simmons stuttered, and as April turned her gaze to him, she noticed how skittish he suddenly became in her presence. _Nervous around girls, huh?_

"Dude, what is wrong with you?" Grif asked the maroon soldier.

"I am sure that you will all do just fine on this mission," April assured them, hoping that she didn't just jinx them, though with her luck she probably did, "Are there any questions before you three depart?"

"…So… you're a chick?" Grif asked after a moment.

"Yes… I am," April said in confusion. Was it so odd to be a girl in the army?

"And… you're wearing blue. In a Red base."

April sighed. Of course he would point out the visor, "Grif, I can assure you that I am not a Blue. Now please, go and ready a jeep to take you to the mission area."

April shook her head as the three filed out of the building. This was going to be interesting.

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

"You know, I don't know why you insisted that they were to go out on a mission when we already know they're idiots," April commented, watching on the cameras as Hammer, Grif and Simmons crouched down by a rock so they could see Blue base.

"Even the less intelligent soldiers can pose as a threat, Agent Aries," Florida said with an almost patronizing tone, like he was educating a child, "There are soldiers that are brave, and there are soldiers that are cowardly. The brave ones are the ones that are dangerous to our operation."

"Please, it's not like a sim trooper can get past you or Tau and kill the Alpha's host that easily. They'd need to at least be equipped with a camo unit, and we both know that only Freelancers and Hybrids are given that privilege."

"True. But we have to take into account the unlikely factor that I, or Agent Taurus, or you even, may perish. If that occurs, less people are protecting Alpha. And as we all know, the Director is very adamant about security," Florida reminded her.

"Yeah, I know that to heart, that's for sure," April mumbled, none too happy with her predicament. _Damn neural collar…_

 _"Screw you guys, I'm a hero!"_ Hammer barked over the radio suddenly, causing April to jump in her seat.

 _"What the fuck, bro?!"_

 _"Dude, every time you go against democracy, an eagle dies!"_

"What in the world is Hammer doing?" April wondered with increasing alarm as she watched Hammer run blindly into the base.

"You see that right there, Aries?" Florida pointed to the regulation red soldier, "That is a brave soldier. And when it comes to the Reds and the Blues, we don't want brave soldiers."

As if sensing the end of his sentence, a huge explosion came from the base that Hammer had just ran in, plumes of smoke and fire shooting out of every open area of the base. The fern trees around it became scorched in flames, and April jumped from her seat and stared in shock.

"What the fuck did you do!?" April cursed, a rarity unless she was extremely pissed, "Did you seriously plant a bomb in the base?"

"As I said, we don't want brave soldiers. We want cowards," Florida repeated, "If Hammer ran into a base blindly like that, who's to say he wouldn't do the same at Blood Gulch?"

"So you just killed him?!"

"I didn't pull the trigger. Besides, If Simmons and Grif had followed, they would be in the explosion as well. Be happy."

"That doesn't bolster your point at all!" April screeched, running her hand through her hair and breathing through her nose in barely restrained fury, "Can't you think of something besides the operation for once? Maybe try for some _empathy_?"

Florida didn't reply, and April turned back to the screen with a storm cloud over her head.

 _"Hammer? You— you okay buddy?…Hammer?"_

 _"He's fuckin' dead, dude."_

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

April peered down from the blackened view box window at the two soldiers retelling a fabricated tale about the death of the 'war hero' Hammer. It sickened her at how easily the recruits ate up the obvious lie, and she was again appalled by the amount of devious planning and carefully constructed lies that the Director had woven to expand his project so far across the galaxy. Tau was leaning against the sill of the view box, scowling harshly at the Reds with restrained maliciousness in her eyes.

"These guys are fucking idiots."

"Yup," April drawled, mostly because she had nothing else to say. Whenever Tau gained that look in her eye, she knew to stay clear. The green agent was much better than she was in the project, but sometimes her mind would retreat back to the days when the need for bloodshed and pumping adrenaline and cut her fuse shorter than it already was.

"I can't believe we have to search across every single simulation base just to find the perfect idiots. It's like Freelancer but in reverse," Tau sighed irritably, "And I'm pretty sure that Florida is hiding something from us about these guys."

"...What do you mean?"

"Think about it, April," Tau turned her gaze to the brunette, the killer glint in her eye softening into sisterly affection when the older girl gazed into April's stormy grey eyes, "We are exposing these men to one of the Director's most prized works. Once the Director finds a use for the Alpha again, and the troopers aren't needed at Blood Gulch anymore, what's going to happen to them?"

"I would assume that they are sent to new posts in the Red and Blue army," April proposed, "After all, they wouldn't have a reason to suspect Alpha as an A.I., since he's going to have a human body, right?"

"That's a solution that I would like to believe will be true," Tau admitted, eyes flickering back down to Grif and Simmons, and the dark glint came back. April didn't think it was directed towards them however, "But I know the Director, and he is anything but kind to his experiments."

Tau's admission sent an uneasy chill down April's spine, and she swallowed thickly before concocting a reply, "You don't mean…"

"April, no one is safe when they've handed their life to Doctor Leonard Church. And until Florida decides to inform us of what will become of these guys, it's safe to assume the worst things imaginable."

"Excuse me? Agent Aries?" the CO came in after speaking with Grif and Simmons. He looked confused when he saw Tau with her, but quickly diverted his attention at the sight of her deathly glare, "Uh, are you sure you want them? These are by far the worst soldiers that I have ever seen!"

"Lovely," Tau commented dryly.

"I'm certain, Commander. The leader of this operation has great plans for them. And also, just so we are completely clear, my associate, Agent Taurus, has accompanied me to address the strict confidentiality of this operation," April kept her voice sickly sweet, turning to Tau.

"Confidentiality?"

"Yes. I know that you must be curious as to why Command sent two agents to pick up Grif and Simmons, are you not?" Tau began, her voice flat as she began to walk slowly towards the CO.

"Yes, actually. Not that I mind they're leaving, considering they have been a detriment to the camp as a whole."

"Uh huh, well the leader wanted to give you a fair warning," Tau stepped so she was directly in front of the grey armored man, "This is _highly classified_ information that we are entrusting you to keep to yourself, Commander. As far as Grif and Simmons are concerned, they never existed here in Danger Canyon. They were never shipped out, they never went on that recon mission, and most importantly, we were never here. Failure to disclose this information will result in _immediate_ termination. Is that understood, Commander?"

"Y-Yes ma'am."

"And should another soldier come by this location and request information concerning Grif, Simmons, or the agents sent by Command, what are you to say?"

"None of you were ever present and report the incident directly to Captain Flowers."

Tau smiled grimly, "Good. I hope you remember this when we depart, because no matter how careful you are, we will know if you break your contract. You are dismissed, Commander."

The CO scrambled off as soon as Tau finished her sentence, and the green agent watched the armor clad soldier stumble as he tried to regain his leadership air. Calmly, Tau turned, and April couldn't help but feel unease rise up in her chest.

"You are very good at intimidation tactics, Tau."

Tau huffed before returning to her spot at the view window, "You mean I'm fantastic at playing the bad guy."

"That's not what I—"

"I'm not offended, April, it's fine. It's what I was made for," Tau shrugged, a hint of a bitter smile on her lips, "Now if I remember correctly, you have two new recruits to address, and I have to prepare the Pelican for departure. Florida needs assistance evaluating a blue candidate and a Red commander for the bases."

"Right. I'll just...go talk to them for a moment," April nodded once to herself, casting a worried look toward the green haired woman. Tau merely huffed a sigh, staring off into space.

April walked out of the secluded view box, schooling her expression to hold an excited and ditsy smile. It's time to act for the new recruits at Blood Gulch.

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

Tau watched with an unhinged jaw as the plethora of potential leader candidates for Red team cheered despite one of their comrades blowing up just seconds before. The green armored agent shifted her gaze so she stared at her sister through her blackened visor, and she could tell April was giving her the same look. Tau shook her head in bewilderment.

"Wonderful, they're all _idiots_ ," Florida declared more to himself than the other two agents with him. Tau growled.

"Okay, I got a lot of problems with these guys. One, did Command just search for stereotypical southerners that have a mindless need for blood? And also, why the fuck do they all sound the same? It's creepy," Tau lamented with a strained tone, trying to wrap her mind around the situation. She never felt as much pity for someone as she did for Lemons currently, because she certainly couldn't imagine what it is like to be trying to train psychopaths for a position of authority in battle.

"Hey Butch, the Blues just arrived for their interviews," April reported, one hand against her helmet as she listened to the radio chatter.

"Well that is just stupendous! Right on time too! I am such a sucker for punctuality," Florida exclaimed, "Now Aries, since you aren't colored completely Blue, you need to stay away from the interviews. Taurus—"

"Florida, no offense, but whenever you call me Taurus I _kind of_ want to break your nose," Tau interjected, annoyance flaring almost immediately, "I would appreciate it if you called me Tau like everyone else."

"Well all you had to do was ask, Tau! You know what I think about honesty, and I feel like our working relationship has already improved thanks to you."

Tau withheld a groan. _Florida sounded so fucking gay._

"Anyway, Tau, if you'd like, you can be present for the interviews. Just change your armor color with your camouflage unit. We don't want anyone to recognize you."

"Right. Because that's my main concern currently," Tau sighed, but activated her camouflage unit so instead of her shades of green, her armor color was a deep purple.

"Alright, let's go meet our candidates!" Florida exclaimed as he walked into the next room, Tau slapping a hand to her visor.

"I really am not looking forward to this…"

"Oh, tough it out, Tau," April nudged her shoulder, "I'll just be watching the psychopaths over here."

"Lucky you."

"Hey, am I not fun to hang around?"

Tau and April both blinked. April was merely confused, since the soldier that brought the blues was now talking to them as if they were old friends, while Tau suddenly felt at a loss. How the hell—

"Kai?" Tau questioned in bewilderment as she turned to look at the now brown colored woman, "What the hell— how did you—"

"Please, the Director doesn't know I'm here right now," Agent Hawaii said with a scoff, "I went AWOL a couple days ago, and I left Chi to scramble their systems for a while."

"…Isn't that dangerous? Chi is pretty unstable. If I remember correctly, the damn thing was trying to take over, oh I dunno, your mind?"

"Confused here," April raised a hand with frustration.

Hawaii glanced at the brunette, "Freelancer. Names Agent Hawaii, otherwise known as Kaikaina. We've never met, but Tau's told me a lot about you."

"…aren't you related to Dexter Grif?"

"Yeah, he's my big brother," Hawaii shrugged, "That's half of why I'm here. I was snooping around in Freelancer's classified documents before I bounced, and I noticed you two were being sent to Blood Gulch with Florida, and sim troopers were going with you. And since I'm now informed on Alpha and the Director being clinically insane, I want to help you guys."

Tau sighed, "Well, that's a kind gesture, Kai, but we can't really do much about it. Neural collars won't let us do anything out of line of the Directors agenda."

"Don't worry Tau. I have a plan," Hawaii assured, "But I'll have to enact it alone. You guys just play your part as obedient soldiers."

"Yay," Tau grumbled, "Now come on. We need to get these interviews over with."

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

Tau wanted very badly to make herself melt into the wall, since these interviews were absolute torture. The first candidate actually had all of the qualities one would wish in a soldier, and the second one insisted that he was an extremely good listener. Apparently he was a good listener he forgot to listen to Florida when he actually asked his questions.

"Wouldn't the second candidate be the sort of idiot we want?" Tau asked, perplexed as Florida turned the 'good listener' down.

"There is the risk that he would not hear my orders and would discover something he shouldn't. And if that comes into effect, well, you know his orders," Florida reminded her, waiting for the third candidate to be brought in by Hawaii, "We need an idiot that will listen to orders, and not feel inclined to do anything else besides be lazy."

"So basically we're looking for another Grif."

"Precisely."

Anything else Tau was going to say died in her throat as the next Blue came in. Hawaii went to stand in the corner as the Blue took the space in front of Florida.

"Hello there. My name is Captain Butch Flowers. What is your name?"

"Uh, it's Tucker. Lavernius Tucker," The Blue, Tucker, replied. Tau watched as his attention went to her, "Who's he?"

Tau flicked on her voice filter and said curtly, "Talon."

"Talon is an adviser of multiple Blue boot camps, one of them being yours, Private Tucker," Florida lied smoothly, "Now, if you are ready, we can begin with just a few questions."

"Uh, okay."

"Perfect. Now, what would you say your greatest strength is?"

"What, you mean physically?" Tucker asked before jumping into his answer, "I can bench a clean two hundred, no problem. Do a couple hundred reps everyday."

Tau's eyes widened, surprised. She couldn't really tell what someone's physique was when clad in power armor, but if what he was saying is true, Tucker must be ripped.

"Forty cock push ups, no big deal."

Never mind, she's disgusted.

"Alright. Now, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Five years? Ugh. Hopefully I'm not dead."

That's a pretty reasonable response, Tau thought. Hell, she wondered if she'll be dead due to the Director's crazy missions everyday.

"Oh, and hopefully I'll bang five years worth of chicks by then. Am I right, dude?"

And she's disgusted again.

"Whatever you say, Private Tucker. Now, why did you join the military?"

"Chicks dig war heroes. I'm hoping I get shot in the foot and get sent home with a medal I can use to pick up women. Hey, totally unrelated, but do you want to shoot me in the foot?"

Tau was tempted to shoot him, but for a totally different reason and in a totally different location. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

"I wouldn't want to hurt my fellow soldier, but perhaps a Red would be more willing. Now, final question. What is your deepest regret?"

"Oh-ho, dude, do not bring that up," She could already tell this was going to be horrible, "All I'm going to say is that some girls tell you they're eighteen - and like, what am I, some sort of age detecting machine? - but anyway, the charges were dropped and it wasn't that big a deal, despite what the media said."

...what the fuck.

Florida stopped the recording before turning slightly to look at her, and she didn't even have to see his face to know what he was thinking. Her eyes widened yet again and she immediately formed a link with Florida to promptly yell at him.

 _:Florida, **no** :_

 _:He is the candidate that matches what we require thus far:_

 _:We've been through only three candidates!:_

 _:Now Tau, we both know that we would rather not go through this process again, and right now, I believe Tucker here would be a fine addition to the canyon of idiots:_

 _:...You're just picking the pervert and the almost-convicted pedophile just to piss me off, aren't you?:_

Florida just stared at her for a moment longer before turning to Tucker. _Goddammit_!

"Well I think we have our man. Welcome aboard, Lavernius Tucker."

"Aboard what? Wait, what is this an interview for?"

Florida ignored Tucker's questions, "I'll see you in a few weeks. Thanks for your time."

Tau watched as Tucker was directed out by Hawaii, and she sighed irritably, "So now what?"

"Now we check in on our prospective Red leaders."

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

April couldn't tear her eyes away from the gruesome scene before her. She didn't know if he was maliciously cunning in slowly thinning out his competition, or he was seriously thinking that this was how the training regimen was, but Sarge was a psychopath. Even worse, the others seemed to agree with them, like they were all on the same wavelength concerning death and destruction.

Only Sarge and Daggerknife were left out of all the candidates, and she honestly wasn't sure which one to pick. While they are both equally insane, and lethal at that, Sarge seems to assume the position of leader more so than Daggerknife. Hell, Sarge basically took over Lemons' job, and made it a million times worse for everyone except for himself.

She spotted Lemons running up to them, screaming something at them in horror, and Sarge and Daggerknife were as calm as can be, like they weren't standing in front of their fallen allies. April sighed. She'd have to share a base with one of these guys and actually listen to the orders they concoct. She was not looking forward to it.

But then Sarge and Daggerknife started arguing back and forth, and April leaned forward in interest. What was going on?

It quickly escalated to the point that Daggerknife took the pistol off his hip. April wondered for a moment if he was going to shoot Sarge, but then he—

"OH MY GOD!"

He just shot himself! What the fuck?!

"Y'know what? Fuck it," April leant against the wall by the window, "Welcome aboard Sarge."

 _"Uh, Agent Aries? I have a situation down here! Uh, l-listen listen, you put the weapon down this instant, I am Red, I-I am in fact Red, n-no no no, wait please Red PLEASE!"_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _"That was for Daggerknife. Dirtbag."_

"Uh, Butch?" April called, "Lemons is dead. I got the last Red for the roster though."

 _"Hello? If anyone from Command is watching, I completed the final test! I've killed Lemons, I'm ready for my promotion now!"_

"Ugh, I can't believe I have to do this," April sighed before turning on her end of the radio, "Yes, I can hear you loud and clear, Sarge. Congratulations!"

 _"Why thank you madam!"_

"My name is April, and due to your promotion, I am now officially a soldier under your command. Also, I have our first assignment here to read out to you; You are to depart to Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha at the end of the week, and there you will meet the rest of your team. Once you arrive at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, Private Dexter Grif and Private Richard Simmons will also be under your command. I look forward to serving the Red army with you, Sargent...uh… Sarge."

The amount of sarcasm she had to hold back from her tone was tremendous.

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

The way the Director found a host body for Alpha – or Church, she should say – was in no way as clean cut as Synthesis.

Tau remembered that Private Jimmy had looked at her with a giddy, excited smile, and she had forced herself to smile back and keep her tone chipper. Normally April would deal with a social situation like this, but Tau had a bad feeling, and sent April to Blood Gulch early.

She was glad she did.

Normally Tau felt nothing when in the sight of blood and gore, but when those two soldiers began drilling holes into Jimmy's skull and forcefully implanting Alpha without any antiseptic, she felt bile running up her throat.

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

The Pelican dropped them off beside Red base. Tau squeezed April's wrist for one moment before cloaking and running toward Blue base, her way of saying we'll talk later. April sucked in a breath before stepping off the Pelican, eyes seeking out the different shades of Red.

"Hello there, name's Sarge," The regulation Red soldier was the first to spot her, having strolled out of base just in time, "I didn't request for a supply drop—"

"Sargent," April interrupted, saluting with rigid poise, "It is an honor to finally meet you face to face. I am April. We talked briefly when you received your promotion."

"Oh, yes I remember. It's an honor to have you aboard the Red team!" Sarge shook her hand, "Now, what exactly is your rank?"

"I don't have a specific rank, sir. I am a special operations officer, and I adapt to whatever job I am needed to do. I mostly act as an adviser for different outposts and camps. I actually picked out Grif and Simmons to be under your command when I was observing the training exercises at Danger Canyon."

"Hm. If that's the case, you're already acquainted."

"To an extent, yes," April agreed.

" _Grif, Simmons!_ We got ourselves a new member of the squad!"

As the two soldiers made their way out the base, Tau's voice rang from the depths of her mind.

 _:Alpha will be activated in just a couple minutes. He will go by Leonard Church:_

 _:Understood:_

"April? What are you doing here?" Grif asked in surprise, and April smiled, the action useless with her visor obstructing the view to her face.

"I did mention that I would be shipping out to a new assignment, didn't I?" April reminded him, "I'll be serving alongside both of you for the time being. I look forward to getting acquainted with all of you."

Sarge seemed rather impressed at his new soldier, while Simmons was still being his awkward self, squirming whenever April's gaze landed on him. Grif was the only one with his helmet off, and she examined the shaggy brown hair that fell in front of his hazel-green eyes, his skin tanned to a dark shade. He smiled lopsidedly, and April blinked when a thought randomly passed through her mind, the thought that he looked _cute_ when he smiled like that, and he replied.  
"Look forward to it."

Across the canyon at Blue base, Tau had just entered the base and took in the sight of Florida standing over Private Jimmy's- er, of Private Church's prone body.

She uncloaked to let Florida know she was present, and he turned to her with his regular creepy/proud tone, "Ah, you made it, and just in time! I was just about to activate the Alpha."

Tau looked down at the cobalt blue armor that held another victim to the Director's experiments. She smiled bitterly when she realized it was the same color of the Alpha in his holographic form.

"Alright. Do it."

...

...

...

 _Hope you all enjoyed, and special thanks to AAA222! I'm glad you're enjoying it!_

 _Lonessa out. :)_


	6. Pain Within Power

"Hey Church? We have a problem."

 _Seriously_?

It had been so quiet the past couple months. Well, minus that small problem she had with the Reds a while ago, and the Pelican that arrived… never mind, this was just the norm. But really? Church was in a good mood today! Wait, who's that guy in the purple armor…

"I am _not_ your mother, so don't come tattling to me when somebody does something the other doesn't like," Church struggled to say in a (semi) calm voice.

"I'm telling you, he's crazy!" Tucker ignored Church's order, "He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice!"

Scary voice? What – oh, Omega. Dammit. Well, at least Tex was awake and regaining her muscle. Not that she actually told the others, but eh, not important.

"No I didn't!"

"Oh… so you're saying you _didn't_ threaten to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?" Tucker retorted, fuming inside his helmet.

"I think you're taking my words out of context," Caboose said diplomatically… and that was a word she really _shouldn't_ associate with Caboose.

"Michael, what do we say about hurting others?" Tali began in her 'mother' voice. She might not be able to do anything about Omega being in Caboose's mind currently, but she certainly could keep him from threatening Tucker.

"That we don't hurt them unless they are pointing guns at us…" Caboose replied mopily.

"And?"

"Only if they are our enemy," Caboose finished.

"And is Tucker pointing a gun at you _or_ is he your enemy?" Tali asked sternly.

"No…" Caboose sounded like he was about to cry.

"Okay, this is fuckin' weird," Church commented.

Tali ignored him and continued, "Since Tucker is your teammate, maybe you should apologize to him?"

"She's had this conversation with him a bunch of times, it never works," Tucker muttered back to Church.

"But… I don't want to," Caboose whined.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Tali sighed dramatically, "I guess you'll have to live with no sprinkles on your ice cream when dinner time comes."

Caboose let out a horrified gasp and turned to Tucker, tackling him with a hug, "I AM SO SORRY TUCKER! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

"Woah!" Church jumped back.

"Ah, fuck! Caboose, get off me!" Tucker yelped, "And no, I'm not forgiving you!"

"Tucker…" Tali warned.

"Fuck that, that's not working on me."

"He's not going to let go until you do~" She said in a sing-song voice.

"Ugh, fine. You're forgiven, Caboose! Now get off!" Tucker struggled weakly against Caboose's hold.

Caboose did as asked, releasing Tucker and turning to Tali with what she assumed to be a hopeful look inside his helmet. She sighed, unable to say no to the lovable idiot.

"What color do you want?" Tali questioned as a reply to his wordless question.

"Yay! Thank you Miss Tali!" Caboose picked her up and twirled her in the air a few times before setting her back down.

"Tali," Tucker huffed, "Next time, let him chop my head off."

"Uh, excuse me?"

They all turned to look at the purple armored man that Tali had spotted earlier (how did she forget that), and Church spoke.

"Uh… who are you?"

"My name's DuFresne, uh… are you Private Tucker?" The purple guy, DuFresne, asked.

"No, I am not. My name's Church. This," Church jabbed his thumb to the unknown colored soldier, "Is Private Tucker, the girl in green is… hey, what's your rank exactly?"

Tali rolled her eyes, "Does it matter?"

"Uhh… okay, that's Tali," Church rushed to move on, "And the guy in regulation blue over there is Caboose… or _O'Malley_ or whatever the hell he's callin' himself."

"Why did you introduce me last?" Caboose asked in a slight vulnerable tone.

"Because he hates you," Tucker stated with a bored look.

"I received your call for a medic," DuFresne (God, this guys name sucks to spell… oopsies, broke the fourth wall) replied.

"Medic? That was like three months ago," Caboose looked at him quizzically.

"Yeah, what'd you do? Crawl your way here?" Tucker added.

"I came as fast as I could," DuFre–… _fuck it, he's a medic and she's calling him Doc,_ "Where's the patient?"

 _:Hey Tex? That medic finally came that we asked for!:_

 _:Wow. Three months after I was injured. Really feeling like a priority right now.:_

 _:I know, right?:_

"Hate to tell you this bud, but little miss right here," Church patted Tali's helmeted head, and was promptly swatted at, "Got it all sorted out in a matter of days."

"Yeah. I mean, I understood why we called for medical help at the time, but it was kinda pointless after… and if Tali _didn't_ know first aid, Tex would probably be dead right now," Tucker added.

"Aw, thanks guys!" Tali cooed. She felt a warmth spread to her cheeks, and she was suddenly glad she was wearing a helmet. Why was she blushing? She rarely, if ever, blushed.

 _:You blush around Tucker:_ April teased in the link, a chorus of giggles following the comment.

 _:You and Tex have to stop talking about my romantic life:_

 _:Well what else is there to talk about? All that happens in Red base is Grif and Simmons arguing, Donut acting...well, like himself, and Sarge threatening to kill Grif, and all that happens at Blue base is...well, the most prominent is you ensuring that Blue team meets their blushing quota for the week:_

 _:FUCK OFF:_

"Oh… well then who's in that grave?" Doc asked, pointing to the gravestone shaped into a cross sticking out of the ground.

"That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave," Church replied simply, and she could see Doc look Church up and down like he was insane.

"Uh-huh… of course…"

"Um… he's not kidding man," Tali whispered to him.

"Ah, you see, he was killed by a crazy runaway tank–"

"Or by the idiot driving it," Tucker butted in.

"Oh yeah! And then he became this really mean ghost and uh, took over a _Mexican_ robot's body, oh, and then we had to uh, oh that's right, spray paint him to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man… who… is blue."

 _Dear god. He's gonna think we're all crazy now_.

"Yeah, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off," Tucker added.

Church turned then, and Tali could hear a loud click, " **Not entirely turned off, moron.** "

Tucker sighed, "I'll go get the Spanish dictionary…"

"He called you a moron," Tali didn't look away from Doc as she said this.

"Oh… typical."

"Wait… so, no one here is hurt?" _Wow, he's as slow as everyone else here_.

"No, we're all fine!" Church turned back around to face Doc, "In fact, I feel better than ever! You see, when these two idiots start to annoy me, I can just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before," Church said in his usual assholish manner.

"You said they were shorting out," Caboose accused.

Another click, "I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I can't _hear_ you!"

"But there's three of you, not two," Doc mentioned.

"I'm his sis," Tali raised her hand, "I don't count, and Church has gotta listen to me."

"Ah, gotcha. Well, let me just check you three out and I'll be on my way," Doc raised a… plasma pistol? _Ah, must be repurposed. That's smart_.

"Woah, check us out? Is this one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?" Tucker asked, and Tali resisted the want to smack him in the back of the head.

"No, I'm just gonna check your vitals."

"I bet I have better vitals than you!" Caboose exclaimed, turning to Tucker, "…What's a vital?"

"Uh, be on your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you here to join our squad?" Church stopped him.

"No, I'm just here to help out with Tex and assist in the canyon as needed," Doc replied.

"First off," _Oh fuck, here he goes_ , "Great job with the Tex thing. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way we need you to assist, is to kill all the Reds."

 _Nope!_

"Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector."

"A conshe– _who_?"

"Fuckin' pacifist…" Tali mumbled.

"You're a thing that babies suck on?" Caboose said slowly, only for Tucker to interrupt.

"No dude, that's a pedophile."

"The fuck?" Tali glanced back at Tucker sharply, "Tucker, he means _pacifier_."

"Oh… I was totally thinking of something else," Tucker looked away.

"That's real classy, Tucker," Church said in an irritated tone.

"Charming," Tali commented blandly.

Doc began scanning over Tucker, Tali and Caboose when he began to speak, "Alright, looks like everyone checks ouuu–ah… Wha…?" He became confused when the scanner passed over Tali.

 _Fuck my life!_ She thought.

"What? What's wrong?" Church asked.

Doc stared at her and flinched when she flipped out her knife, making sure her body was concealing the blade from her teammates.

 _:My vitals look perfectly normal, don't they Doc?:_ Tali commented through her armor link.

 _:What the– how…:_

 _:Listen, DuFresne, you aren't going to say anything, and I'm not going to slit your throat. Ya got me?:_

 _:Okay…?:_

"Oh, sorry… just a glitch in my scanner," Doc scrambled, "What can you do? Cheap price, cheap product, I always say!" He laughed nervously.

"Um… okay…" Church began slowly.

"Yeah… so can you point me in the direction of Red base?" Doc hurried to change the subject.

"Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em," Tucker asked.

"Well resources are low, so I'm on loan to both armies to assist which one needs me most at the time–"

"Man that is so freakin lame," Church hissed quietly.

"I'm just gonna go up to Red base and see if they need any help," Doc continued.

"Well, if you're gonna go to Red base I'd put away that little medical thingy of yours," Church suggested, "They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shoot it right out of your hand–"

With inexplicable timing, a sniper shot sounded, hitting the scanner right out of Doc's hands and scaring the living hell out of him. Church stared at Doc's now empty hand in shock, and said, "Yeah, just like that," Another shot, " _Scatter_!"

 _Dammit. And today had started off so well._

They all dashed to cover, Caboose and Tali being separated from the rest of the pack. Tali huffed a bit, and she pressed her back against the rock as she ran her thumb over the black cylinder on her hip. _So tempting…_

 _:April, you there?:_

 _:Yeah. So, do we have to give them a show?:_

 _:Just meet me in the middle when you see me start running:_

"Tali, you okay?" Church yelled from across the way.

"We're fine! Just keep behind cover, I got this!" Tali turned to the blue beside her, "Michael, I'm gonna need you to stay behind this rock okay?"

"Okay. Where are you going, Miss Tali?" Caboose asked, oddly calm in a combat situation.

"I have a… 'date', if you will," Tali smirked, and then sprinted out of cover.

"Tali, what the fuck?! Get back in cover you crazy bitch!" Church shouted from his position.

"Fuck no, I'm having fun!" Tali yelled back.

Over on the Reds side, April saw the green agent running and withheld a chuckle.

" _Simmons_! I can't feel my hands!" Grif yelled over the loud gunfire.

Simmons stopped firing for a moment, turning to look at Grif, "Learn how to lay off the trigger, dumbass."

"Hey, what's that green guy doing?" Donut asked, "He's running right for us…"

April grinned, "Well, as much as I would love to stay back here and watch, I gotta go. Be right back!" And she dashed off.

"Wait, where are you going?" Donut called after her, only to be ignored.

 _:This should be fun. You ready Tali?:_

 _:Hell yeah! I've been looking for a match. Sometimes I just want to beat the shit out of my own team members… show me whatcha got, April.:_

 _:Will do.:_ She chuckled, and charged forward.

They met in the very center of the fight, bullets flying past them and skimming their armor dangerously, all the while Church yelling in a panic from the side lines, and the two women met, trading punches to the visor. It was kinda comical with both of them hitting each other at the exact same time and staggering back.

 _:Woah! Nice hit.:_

 _:Phew! You got some power in those punches.:_

They collided again, April landing a hit on Tali's side and Tali clipping the chin of April's helmet. They danced around each other, matching each other in attacks and barely hitting each other. When April lunged Tali jumped, when Tali swung April ducked. April knew that Tali was taking it easy on her, but she didn't really mind.

All the while – and this was totally normal – they had a pleasant conversation via the link.

 _:So, how's Tex doing? You never told me if she woke up from that coma yet. I want to say hi!:_

 _:Still in the medbay. She's recovering and just woke up from the coma.:_

 _:Oh… I'll give her some time then.:_

 _:Yeah, that's probably a good idea. She's always so cranky now, and always throws shit at me when I try to go in there.:_

 _:Ha! That's funny.:_

 _:Aren't you supposed to be on my side?:_

 _:Well I told you she wasn't going to be happy once she realized you put her in that coma. And angry Tex is the most dangerous Tex:_

 _:That applies the same for me, just so you know:_

 _:...That's true. You are the Bull of Synthesis for a reason, Tali:_

Just then, a magnum fired from the Blues side, the first round to be fired from there, only for Caboose to cry out in pain about his foot.

 _:Really? The only shot Church can make is on his own teammate?!:_

 _:…he really that bad of a shot?:_

 _:You'll find out soon enough. Trust me, it's not pretty.:_

" _Tali! Get your ass back here! The Reds have stopped firing!_ " Church yelled over Tali's radio.

" _April! Hightail it back here and take cover! Numbnuts over here forgot the extra ammunition!_ " Sarge yelled over April's radio at the same time.

 _:Okay, that was way too short to be considered a match:_ Tali complained, scowling underneath her helmet.

 _:Blame it on Grif. He forgot the spare ammo:_

 _:He's the orange guy right? Interesting...:_

 _:...Why do I feel like I just signed his death sentence by saying that?:_

 _:Relax, April. I'm just kidding:_

…

…

…

"Tali… what. The. _Fuck_?!" Church immediately screamed as she took cover behind their rock.

"What? I don't have a gun on hand, so that was the second best thing I could do!" Tali shot back, "And please explain to me why you shot Michael?"

"I needed Doc to get over there," Church said in reply.

"Yeah, he wouldn't even yell 'BANG BANG BANG'! Pacifists suck," Tucker groaned.

"Well, in the army they do," Tali corrected, before rounding on Church, "I still can't comprehend how you can miss anything more than five feet from you but when it came to Michael, you shot him effortlessly from across the way."

"Because… uh… I don't fucking know, shut up!"

"Hey Tucker," Tali looked to the Aqua soldier, "Maybe Church is the real 'team killing fucktard'."

"Tali, _shut up_ –"

"Hey dude! Why aren't the Reds firing?" Tucker brought them back to the situation at hand.

"They're out of ammunition," Tali stated blandly while fixing her glove.

Church and Tucker both stared blankly at the green soldier, before Church asked, "How would that be possible? They just started attacking ten minutes ago!"

"Hey Blues!" The Red Sergeant called over, "We are giving you a chance to surrender!"

"...How the hell do you do that!?" Church yelled frustratedly, looking up in the air.

"Uh… I heard it over the radio? The radio of the soldier I was fighting?" Tali posed them as questions.

"Oh… What are your terms?" Church called.

"Their what?" Tucker blanched.

"You know, we could have just started shooting and pushed them back," Tali commented offhandedly.

"Alright Blues. We want your flag…" Sarge paused, listening to what one of his soldiers mentioned, "… to stay right where it is. Keep the flag. But we do want our mechanized droid guy back–"

"Uh-oh."

"You may know him as Señor El Roboto."

 _Well, maybe if Church hadn't been a_ _ **dumbass**_ _, maybe he wouldn't be in danger of losing his body right now._

"Well Church," Tucker crossed his arms, "What's it gonna be?"

"Chingado, no way! I'm not giving back my body, I just got this thing!"

"And don't think that you can keep his nuts!" Sarge continued, "Or bolts, or any mechanical parts you may have–"

"Uh, he's not here anymore!" Church called back.

"Yeah, he was all like 'Sayonara'! And he left!" Tucker tried to back Church up.

"I think the word you're looking for is Adios, Tucker," Tali sighed.

Church groaned irritably, before catching eye of Doc and getting an idea, "Hey Reds! What about a medic? Would you take a medic as a hostage?"

"A hostage?" Doc questioned, "But I'm supposed to go over there!"

"Hey, Michael? How're you feeling?" Tali asked, guiding the regulation blue soldier to sit down behind the rock.

"He's doing well," Doc replied for him, "He seems very alert and responsive."

"He's talkin' about Caboose, right?" Tucker murmured, cocking his head.

"No, his toe! How's the toe I shot?" Church elaborated.

"Oh, that thing? That fell off half an hour ago," Doc shrugged, trying his best to ignore Tali's flat look.

"Rest in peace, pinky toe," Caboose cried tearfully, before switching to his 'scary voice', "You shall be avenged!"

Doc sighed, "You know what? How about you just send me over. I don't think I can be of any more help."

Church and Tucker stared at Doc blankly, while Tali commented sarcastically, "Yeah, because you've been so productive in the short time we've known you."

" _Hey_!"

"Okay! We're gonna send over our medic. Now what do we get?" Church asked Sarge.

"You?" Simmons ran up to stand beside Sarge, "You're surrendering! You don't get anything but humiliation and ridicule!"

"We already got that, what else do you have?" Tucker retorted.

 _:I hate these guys.:_ Tali muttered to Tex.

 _:What're they doing now?:_

 _:Some dumb trade for a medic that isn't even on Blue team. I don't even know.:_

"What'dyou want?" Sarge questioned.

"How about you admit that the Red team sucks?" Church suggested.

Just then, to Tali's extreme amusement, April jumped out from behind Red teams cover and began to yell, " _Red Team su_ –" before Grif ran out and clamped a hand over the speakers of her helmet, dragging her back behind cover.

Through the radio, Tali could hear them arguing.

" _The fuck? You don't just admit to the other team that we suck!"_ Grif chastised April.

" _But you say it all the time!"_

" _Yeah, but the Blues don't have to know that!"_

"What if we admit that _one_ of us sucks?" Sarge spoke over their bickering.

 _:Nevermind. This just got interesting.:_

 _:How so?:_

 _:Don't worry, Tex. I've already hit record.:_

 _:You're the best, Tali.:_

 **TWO HOURS LATER…**

The orange one, Grif, let out a long sigh before declaring, "I just want everyone to know that I suck."

"And?"

"And that I'm a girl."

"What else?"

"And I like ribbons in my hair… and I want to kiss all the boys."

Tali burst out laughing at that moment, leaning against the rock and holding her stomach. She heard Church snicker a bit himself while Tucker laughed just as rambunctiously along with her, trying to help her up at the same time. Caboose just looked confused, but what else did you expect?

"Okay, that good enough?" Simmons asked from beside Sarge, and Tali was surprised to hear amusement in his voice as well.

"Yeah! Okay, go ahead Doc," Church urged the purple medic along.

 _:Doc, this is Tali. The girl on the Red team, April? She's like me._ _ **Don't**_ _mention this to the Reds.:_

 _:Uh… okay. I'm not even sure what you are…:_

 _:I'm human, and that's all you need to know.:_

Tali scowled a bit when Doc mentioned that, but otherwise was unaffected. It wasn't surprising to have that reaction, but she still was angered by it slightly.

April sent calmness and her amusement through the link, sensing her anger, and she calmed quickly. Standing, she smiled at the blue and red colored woman, and stood with the Blues as she watched her walk away, the Reds following after.

…

…

…

"Hey, Doc? Sorry if Tali came across as a little… unstable," April apologized awkwardly.

Doc glanced at the Reds before turning back to the Cinnamon and Prussian agent, "I didn't want to pry when it came to her, but you seem like a… calmer one. What are you two exactly?"

"Just like Tali told you. We're human, only we weren't always human," April explained, "I can't go into details, but we were part of an experimental project that made us this way."

"So, you're like test tube humans?"

"Not exactly, since we technically didn't...uhm... look, I can't get into details, but we aren't undocumented aliens, or augmented humans like the Spartans. That's all I'm willing to say," April tried her best to explain.

"Right… I'm just gonna take your word on it," Doc decided.

"Yeah, I thought you would say that."

She shrugged, seeing Grif approach them and stop in front of Doc. She wasn't really paying attention after her explanation, merely gazed out at the empty canyon with some boredom. Vaguely, she noted that Grif was talking with Doc about medical procedures that really weren't supposed to be effective but magically worked, and then, after some time, Sarge yelled over to him.

" _Grif!_ You're supposed to be watching the prisoner! Not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!"

April furrowed her brows, whispering to Grif, "What's lookie-loo?"

"Oh, come on, Sarge!" Grif ignored April's question, throwing up his hands, "He doesn't even have a gun!"

"Oh you two must have a lot in common then," Simmons yelled angrily, "He doesn't have a gun, and you _didn't bring any ammo!_ "

"Hey, at least I didn't _lose_ my prisoner like you did the last one!"

"Ooooh, _burn_. Dude, you just got burned!" Donut chirped from the sidelines.

"How _did_ we lose that chick exactly?" April asked, wondering how Grif would retell it despite her knowing exactly why.

Grif shot an angered look at Simmons, "Well I remember the reason being that _someone_ fainted… TWICE!"

" _I DID NOT FAINT!_ " Simmons stomped his feet childishly, and throwing in towards Donut, "And shut up! Your armor's pink."

"Uh, hey guys?" Doc called nervously to the crowd of Reds, "I just wanted everyone to know, that me and Grif aren't really friends… we're just talking…"

Grif looked at him blankly while April gaped, becoming angrier as he continued, "Listen man, it's pretty obvious you aren't that popular around here, and if I'm going to make any progress, I can't be associated with you… I'm sure you understand."

 _Dead. Silence._

"Stop staring at me."

"Get the fuck out of here, Medic," April suddenly snarled, startling the purple man, "I hope Tali finds you and goes through with disemboweling you."

"Wha– why—?"

"That was a dick move, and in doing so, you just outcasted the only two people that actually showed you some hospitality in this canyon. Now shut up," April turned away from him and crossed her arms, looking at Grif, "Don't let this _pacifist_ get to you, Grif."

"A pacifist isn't a bad thing—"

"It is in a war zone," Grif was more than likely scowling at the backstabber, "Now shut it."

…

…

…

"Michael, for the last time, stop putting mustard in my sheets!" Tali pried the yellow tube from the blue's hands, setting it down on the countertop.

"I am not putting it in your sheets… I am putting them in Tucker's," Caboose corrected.

"But we share the same… ugh, nevermind, why do you want to put mustard in Tucker's bed?" Tali asked, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

"Because…" Caboose stated seriously.

After a moment of silence, Tali shook her head and said sternly, "Do I have to take away your TV privileges again?"

Caboose blinked owlishly, looking down at his feet, "No…"

"Okay. How about this," Tali began, "Every week that you can go without threatening Tucker's life, or doing something to make him angry, I'll surprise you with something. How does that sound?"

"What would the surprise be?" Caboose asked giddily.

"I don't know. That depends on how well you behave," Tali leveled him with a stern look, "And hey, maybe if you try to do something nice for Tucker, I'll bake you something," She proposed, smiling slightly as he bounced on his toes.

"Okay Miss Tali! I'll be the awesomest friend ever!" Caboose ran off then, and Tali slumped.

Sighing, she walked out the base and to Church and Tucker, mentioning as she approached, "Michael is going to kill me one of these days."

"Hey, it's your fault you started disciplining him like you were his mother," Tucker commented as he looked around Church's robotic form.

"Tucker. What are you doing?" Tali asked cautiously, watching as he crouched and stared at an odd part of Church's anatomy.

"Looking for a button… hey, I found something!"

"Oh, yeah? You found one?" Church questioned.

"Nah, dude. It's more like a… switch," Tucker responded hesitantly.

"Well, give it a flip!"

"I don't wanna flip it," Tucker denied, standing up.

"Why not?"

"It's in a weird place…"

 _Oh, dear god. Why are they looking for a button on Church anyway?_

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" Church exclaimed.

"You flip it!"

"These arms aren't that flexible. I can't even reach down there!"

"What about Caboose?"

"Oh, man he's so stupid, I don't even think he knows how to operate a switch!"

"…Tali?"

"Hell no!" Tali threw her hands up.

"She's my sister, Tucker. I'm not having her down there."

"Oh, man…"

"Tucker, come on! We'll laugh about it later," Church joked, "I'll buy you dinner."

"Church–" Tali began.

"Relax, Tali. I won't steal your boyfriend," Church waved her off.

Tali blinked, "… _What_?"

Tucker sighed, crouching down and trying to move the switch. A cracking was heard, and Tucker stood back up.

"It won't move, it's stuck!" Tucker told them both.

"Did you try wiggling it?" Church asked.

"No way!" Tucker backed up, "I'm not wiggling your dongle."

"Oh, stop bein' a baby," Church shook his head, "Just wiggle it!"

 _Wow. Why am I still standing here?_ Tali wondered, watching as Tucker struggled to flip… Church's… switch, _oh god that sounds gross!_

"So… you from around here baby–"

"Agh, that's _gross_ , Church–"

"Okay, look. If you want me to do this you can't talk–"

"Alright alright, I'm sorry I was just kidding," Church held up his hands placatingly.

Tucker sighed again, "I wish Tex was here, she wouldn't have any problem flipping it."

Tali let out a surprise burst of laughter, "Yeah, go ahead and ask her to do this Tucker. I'll be there for your funeral."

"There!" Tucker suddenly cried in triumph, "Feel anything?"

"Nope… nothing. That's kinda weird. Do you hear somethin' beepin'?"

 _Beeping? Ah, fuck–_

 _:April, we've got a problem!:_

…

…

…

"Do we have any ideas on what to do with the prisoner?" Sarge asked the group of three assembled in front of him.

"Well, we have to get him away from Grif… uh 'cause it's kinda cruel and unusual to make him talk with him," Simmons began, causing April to frown.

"Why don't we make him trade armor with someone…?" Donut looked down at his own armor meaningfully.

Just then, the Warthog revved to life, and said in a mechanical voice, "Warthog online. Homing beacon, activated."

"Sarge? D-Did the car just talk?" Donut stuttered.

 _'April, we've got a problem!'_

 _'Oh… yeah I can see it…'_ April replied, backing away slowly from the talking jeep.

"Um… Sarge…?" April broached.

 **ONE EXPLANATION BY THE CRAZED LEADER LATER…**

"Okay, I get it," Simmons began, "So you built in a remote control for the jeep into Lopez…"

"Yup. But there's no way anyone could've found out how to turn it on. I hid it in a place no one would ever look!" Sarge stated confidently, before thinking of something, "Unless… hey, pretty in pink! Were you messing with my robot?"

"Why're you asking me?"

"So someone else controls the jeep right now? And the _big gun_ attached to it?" Grif asked in a panic, subtly moving to stand behind April, who resisted a chuckle. _This was kinda funny_!

"Oh, get a pair you bunch'a Barbies!" Sarge yelled, "Even if they turned it on, they'd never know the code words to control it! Only me and my diary know that."

April couldn't help but giggle and cock out her hip, "Famous last words right there!"

"You're enjoying this?" Grif asked incredulously.

…

…

…

"There it is, do you hear that?"

"Is it a screaming, high pitched whistling noise followed by a series of clicks?" Tucker asked, and Tali gave him a rather unimpressed look.

"No, it's just this constant 'beep beep beep' noise," Church denied, sighing.

"Oh… then no, I don't hear anything," Tucker amended.

"Do you uh– wait, do you actually hear a whistling noise followed by a series of clicks?" Church asked.

"No, he's just trying to be helpful… and failing," Tali answered for him.

"Someone's irritable today," Tucker mentioned as he turned to her, "Is it that time of the month, or what?"

Tali turned to stare at him, clenching her fist, "Tucker, you do know I could kill you right now, right?"

"That's not a no," Tucker commented cheekily.

Tali growled lowly, but was stopped by Caboose, "All I hear is that voice, y'know telling us to kill all our friends before they try to kill _us_!"

Tucker and Church stared blankly, while Tali tried to contact O'Malley through the link.

 _:The hell are you doing in Michael's head, Omega?:_

 _:Oh, wouldn't_ _ **you**_ _like to know, muahaHAHAHAHA!…Must say though, quite roomy in here, plenty of space to plot.:_

 _:Does your version of plotting include laughing maniacally while picturing dead bodies?:_

 _:Oh, shut up, and get out of here!… wait, how did you get in here anyway?:_

 _:Wow, memory failing, Meg? You forgetting the link that the Hybrids share?:_

 _:Do_ _ **not**_ _call me Meg, you_ _ **disgusting**_ _little–:_

 _:Aw, did I hurt the anger fragments feelings? I'm_ _ **so**_ _sorry, Meggy, I'll be more sensitive next time!:_

 _:GET OUT OF MY MIND YOU ANNOYING LITTLE WORM!:_

 _:Talk to ya later, Meg. And don't worry, I'll call you.:_

Oh, messing with Omega was so much fun.

"What, you guys don't hear that?" _Okay, back to business._

"Oh, man I can't take this anymore! Tucker, you're gonna have to do somethin' man. This beeping is going to _drive me crazy_!"

 _:Uh… Tali?:_ April's voice broke through on the link.

 _:Ah, what now?:_

 _:Whatever Church just said was a codeword for the jeep… and it's starting to drive.:_

 _:What the– dammit, what else can go wrong?:_

 _:… should I answer that question?:_

 _:What happened now?:_

 _:The Warthog ran over Doc… and now he's in the jeep… and the jeep's driving away…:_

 _:…fuuuu–:_

"I see a switch down here," She came back to Caboose crouched and looking at Church's switch (still gross), and then he whispered, "It's not very big…"

Okay, if Caboose starts making innuendos, she's gonna kill herself tonight. She gets enough of that shit from Tucker.

"Ooh, yeah! That's it, just flip it!" Tucker urged.

Just then, Tali spotted the jeep jump over the hill.

"Wait, stop!" Church said, and the jeep fucking _stopped_ , "Caboose, do you know how to work a switch?"

"…Uhhhhhhhh–" _The Reds are so dead. Shit!_

 _:Hey, April?:_

 _:Yeah?:_

 _:Better start thinking of a plan, cause who knows what's gonna happen with Michael trying to fix the problem.:_

 _:Oh… fun.:_

"Okay, here's a full tutorial then. The switch is pointed in one direction, just _turn it around_ , until it's facing the other direction." And at that, the jeep turned around to face Red base.

 _:Uhhhh…:_

 _:Yeah, I see it! Still don't have a plan though!:_

 _:Church's wording of things fucking_ _ **suck**_ _.:_

"Oops! It broke itself!" Caboose exclaimed, and Church sighed exasperatedly.

 _:Tali, what did Michael just say?!:_

 _:Oh, you can hear that?:_

 _:You left the link running… and yeah, I also heard your convo with Omega. I'm sooo calling him Meggy when I see him.:_

"Okay, I see two wires down here," Tucker informed them, "Ones red, and ones green."

"What about the blue one?"

"That's your thumb, idiot."

"Come on guys, just grab whichever one goes to the switch and yank it out!" Church hurried them.

"I can't tell which one goes over there…" Tucker mumbled as he tried to follow the red wire.

"Then just yank them both out!"

"Church," Caboose suddenly stood up, "If we pick the wrong one… _you could explode_."

"I don't care, look just _follow the red_ one."

 _:Uh-oh… Sarge might be in trouble here…:_ April mumbled.

 _:God_ _ **dammit**_ _, Church!:_

"Okay, so the red one goes somewhere close to the switch, and the green one goes… eugh… someplace else," Tucker assessed.

"Fine. Just pull it! _Take out the red one_."

 _:…um, Tali–:_

 _:Jesus Christ, Church, if he knew that I was having this conversation with you I would be strangling him right now!:_

 _:…you can't exactly strangle a robot, doll.:_

 _ **:Don't call me doll**_ _!:_

"You ready Church? I'm gonna yank the wire," Tucker stated, grabbing the red wire.

 _:Is Sarge still alive?:_

 _:Um… I'm gonna try something…:_

 _:Try what?… April?:_

 _:Trying… something… right… now…:_

 _:Are you okay? What the hell…:_

"Alright, here goes nothing… one… two…"

 _:For fucks sake, tell the guy to pull the damn wire already–:_

"Three!"

…

…

…

"How is she doing that?!" Grif yelled over the sound of the machine gun.

While Sarge was pinned to the side of the base by the Warthog, in a moment of desperation, April had jumped onto the hood of the jeep and tried out one of the more unstable armor abilities that isn't exactly _guaranteed_ to be safe.

Armor lock.

So, while her body was locked up in a crouched and hunched over position with one fist on the hood and the other by her side, a white translucent energy surrounded her and deflected the bullets, and she acted as a shield for Sarge.

 _And man did it sting like a bitch!_

"Wow, that's a cool trick! Hey, April, can I try next?" Donut asked with glee.

"Trust me…" April managed to say through gritted teeth, "You don't… want to try it…"

"Oh… does it hurt?"

"Yeah…"

 _:For fucks sake, tell the guy to pull the damn wire already–:_

"Signal lost," the jeep said before shutting down.

April disengaged the armor lock and stumbled off the hood, falling to the ground and groaning.

"That… sucked…"


	7. Possession is Genetic?

_:April, everything okay?:_

 _:Oh yeah… everything's great. If you don't mind, I'm gonna get some rest…:_

 _:Okay. Rest up, April.:_

If Sarge would let her of course…

"You see that boys? Little Miss here showed the true colors of a soldier… sacrificing themselves for the leader," Sarge praised in his weird way, "Excellent work, missy."

"Thank You… sir," April struggled to sit up, Donut helping her to her feet.

"But… I can't help but be a little disappointed."

"It's okay sir," Simmons assured, "I know you said a lot of things you didn't mean. People say crazy stuff when faced with their own mortality."

"It's not that," Sarge dismissed, "I just felt that I could've taken him."

"Taken who? The _machine gun_?!" Grif questioned in disbelief.

"Oh, he was a worthy opponent to be sure," Sarge continued ranting his insanity, "But right at the end there he began to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor if you will."

"What? You can't fight a machine gun! Hell, if it wasn't for April with her weird bullet deflector, you would be Swiss cheese!" Grif exclaimed.

"Yeah Sarge. I know you're tough and all, but it's hard to beat up thousands of armor-piercing bullets with just your face!" Donut added.

"And yet he surrendered!" Sarge retorted smugly.

"Guys, guys it's okay, I've seen this before," Doc piped up from the driver's seat, "Sarge just went through a very traumatic ordeal. We all have ways of coping with the stress."

"Oh yeah? How do you deal with it?" Grif asked.

"Oh, I have my own system that works pretty well for me," Doc paused, glancing down at the seat he occupied, "By the way, the drivers side of the jeep is gonna need a thorough cleaning."

"Ew… not it," April weakly raised a hand, pointer finger held upwards.

An awkward silence ensued, and after a moment, Simmons spoke up.

"Hey Doc, even though I'm sure Sarge loves having his spine pulverized into dust, maybe you should back up the Warthog."

"Oh, right! Sorry," Doc revved the engine… and promptly rammed Sarge to the wall of Red base.

" _Oh, hot buttered luggnuts_!" Sarge groaned.

"Oh, jeez! I'm really sorry, I was in the wrong gear, lemme just–"

And did the exact same thing. _Really Doc?_

" _Doh, jeez there goes my last kidney! I was saving that one for a special occasion!_ " Sarge howled.

"Can you _not_ kill Sarge when I just went through that bs to try and save him?!" April suddenly yelled. _Tali gave her one job. One job!_

Doc looked over at them sheepishly, "Third time's the charm?"

"I don't think so Poindexter!" Simmons denied angrily, "Outta the jeep, _now_!"

"I'm really sorry guys," Doc stammered nervously, "I was only trying to help… really!"

"Oh, is that all?" Grif asked, sarcasm thick in his voice, "I for one was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our Sergeant by ramming him over and over again with a six thousand pound steel death machine. Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, _please_ continue."

Doc looked back at Sarge, who was hunched over the hood of the Warthog, and back to the group of soldiers glaring at him with malice, and stated in both incredulity and naïveté, "Really?"

" _GET OUT_!" Both Grif and Simmons yelled simultaneously.

As the medic clambered out of the Warthog sulkily, April turned to the group of Reds and asked, "Can you help me to my room? I'm feeling a little dizzy…"

"Donut, you help her out. I'll get this jeep off of Sarge…" Grif muttered, stomping to the jeep and hopping in, careful to avoid actually touching the stained seat.

 _Yup. This is the team I helped assemble,_ April thought to herself with a shake of her head.

…

…

…

Well, so much for the good start to the day.

After Tucker had cut the red wire down at Church's… _area_ , the aggravated ghost lost control of his legs, and they refused to move. And for some odd reason, Church was blaming Caboose.

"This is great. This is _just_ great, thanks a lot Caboose! Now what am I supposed to do? My lower half of damaged!" Church yelled at the oblivious blue.

Caboose, with his adorable naïve attitude, replied, "Why don't you try walking it off?"

"I can't use my legs, moron," Church stated angrily, knowing it won't do any good responding.

"Oh, I see…" Caboose adopted a thoughtful look, that produced another suggestion, "Have you tried running?"

Tucker stood again, commenting, "This doesn't seem like that big a deal, you hardly use your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggyback rides."

"Hey!" Church pointed accusingly at him, "I already told you; that was for science."

"Science?" Tali parroted, gazing at him quizzically, "You have a _robot body_!"

Caboose suddenly gasped, and they all looked at him expectantly, "Why don't you just try… walking on your _hands_! Then you can use your feet for _high fives_ and… _eatin' sandwiches_ , and y'know the important _stuff_!"

"...Okay," Church ignored Caboose, "Tucker, just keep attaching wires. I'll tell ya if I feel something."

 _Y'know, I could probably get that fixed… but this is amusing._ Tali thought with a small grin.

A small zap was heard, and Tucker said hurriedly, "What about that? Did'ya feel that Church?"

"No, what're you doing, I don't feel anything–"

"Oh, Church, I was thinkin'; y'know, when-when you eat ice cream too fast, and it hurts your brain–" Caboose began.

"Hey Caboose? Yeah, shut up."

" _Church_ ," Tali said in a disapproving tone.

"Tali, that shit isn't working on me, so you can stop right now," Church held up a hand to stop her.

"…Uhhhhh, Church? I think you should know that the Reds are–"

Caboose's beginning statement caught Tali's attention, and while Church began ranting angrily at the regulation blue soldier, she looked off the base and towards the Red base… and spotted Grif and Simmons marching Doc towards them.

"Hey, Church?" Tali began, stopping him mid sentence, "Stop running your mouth for a second and turn around."

"I can't turn around because _MY LEGS DON'T FUCKING WORK!"_ Church screamed, but was quickly stunned into silence when Simmons spoke up.

"Hey Blues, we're here too–… what the _hell_ are you guys doing?"

That's funny Simmons, because Tali herself was thinking that exact same thing.

"Ah, shit! Hey, one of you guys turn me around; I still can't move my legs," Church said urgently.

"What were you doing down there?" Grif asked with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"Nothing!" Tucker replied too quickly, "What're you talking about?"

" _WE WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME_!" Caboose hollered right beside Tali, slightly deafening her ear.

"Michael, just stay quiet, okay?" Tali patted his arm gently.

"What in the hell is going on at this base?" She overheard Grif mutter, but opted to stay silent.

"I told you these guys were weird…" Doc replied, and Tali scowled.

 _:Sorry. What was that Frank?:_

 _:Uh– Wha? What do you have, supersonic hearing?!:_

 _:Hmph. Someone's a geek.:_

"What'dyou want, Reds?" Church spit, still unable to turn around, "Get outta here or we'll start shootin' at ya!"

"Oh yeah? Care to make that threat to my face?" Grif challenged, and Tali watched with amusement as Church struggled to turn around, to no avail.

With a defeated sigh, he then said, "No…"

"Yeah I didn't think so, _punk_." Eh, she might as well chip in.

Sliding down the side of the base, she holstered her pistol and pointed it straight at Grif, who visually jolted.

"Woah woah woah, I got no problems with you man!" Grif threw up his hands placatingly.

"Look man, just calm down," Simmons stepped forward, "We didn't come here to fight. We just came to give back the prisoner!"

Tali lowered her gun and cocked her head at the man. _Was he being serious_?

Tucker seemed to agree with her, and ran forward atop the base, "Give him back? You can't give him back, you took him! A deal's a deal!"

"Yeah, well forget it! We don't want him," Grif shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Well, sorry, but you can't have another prisoner! That was our last one," Church struggled to turn his head to look at them.

"…How about green guy down here?" Grif broached. _Ha, they still thought she was a guy!_

"Fuck no, take a hike assholes!" Tucker suddenly snarled. The intensity of it almost made _her_ flinch, and she tried not to focus on what his strong objection to the idea meant.

"Yeah, you're asking for our best fighter, not to mention the only person that doesn't piss me off in this damn canyon!" Church yelled just as viciously.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Grif questioned, sounding slightly miffed at the vocal assault.

"Yeah, didn't your momma ever tell you it's impolite not to look at someone while you're talking to them?" Simmons joined in.

" _HE'S SHY!_ " Caboose yelled as an excuse. _Oh Caboose, you sweet, sweet idiot. She should take pointers from him on how to piss Church off._

"Shut up," Church aimed at Caboose before turning (in a manner of speaking that is – y'know, his legs still don't work) to the Reds again, "Look, we don't want him back and we don't care what you do to him!" Ouch. She could see Doc wince at that, "Now if ya don't mind… we'd appreciate it if you'd leave us alone! We're in the middle of something… kinda private over here."

 _Can you not make it sound anymore like a porno, could you Church?_ Tali thought sarcastically, rolling her eyes inside her helmet.

"That's sad. He _is_ shy!" Grif commented to his maroon associate.

Simmons ignored him, "Fine, but don't come asking for him back later," And the Reds began walking off.

"We won't!" Tucker assured while helping Tali back up onto the base.

Doc and Simmons disappeared over the hill while Grif stopped just on top of it and turned, "Last chance!"

"Beat it Reds!" Church yelled, and Grif followed after them.

Well, that was interesting. Poor Doc.

Tali couldn't help but be a little relieved that the purple medic wouldn't be joining their little team. Ever since April arrived at the canyon, it became apparent that she was the more polite and sociable person out of the two, while Tali only really developed relationships at Blue Base purely because of her brother and the other two's insistence.

Not that she minded of course.

"What's goin' on? Are they there? Did they leave?… Hey, somebody tell me what's happening!" Church questioned in a frenzy… a very stationary frenzy… oh man, that joke will never get old.

"I don't know. I can't see too clearly," Tucker began, an angle of intent in his wording, "I bet if I had that sniper rifle…"

"Too late, Tuck," Tali clucked amusedly, watching Caboose heave the sniper rifle into his arms.

Tucker turned around, seeing the blue with the desired weapon in hand, and exclaimed while stomping his foot much like a child, " _Motherfucker_!"

"Maybe next time," Tali shrugged.

"Don't patronize me," Tucker mumbled back.

"Uh–ooh Church, Church! I-I see something, okay… uh the two red ones are walking away… uh, but the purple one is…" Caboose's cheery voice suddenly morphed into O'Malley's distorted one, "I think he's going to attack."

Tali rolled her eyes at O'Malley's weak attempt at sparking violence, and stated, "Sweetie, the purple one is Doc, and he doesn't want to fight, remember?"

"Oh yeah, he's a pussyfest!" Tucker suddenly exclaimed in what she assumed was rememberance. The memory was wrong, but y'know.

" _Pacifist_ ," Church corrected, stressing the word.

"Ahh _whatever_ , let's tie 'em up and roll him through the teleporter!" Tucker suggested eagerly, making Tali suddenly wary of him.

 _:Uh, Meggy? Are you in Tucker's head now?:_

 _:No no, but I do love his creativity… STOP CALLING ME_ _ **MEGGY**_ _!:_

 _:Hey, you were the one that responded to it!:_

"Wait-Wait a second, think about it. Why would the Reds just leave 'em out there by himself?" Church mused, "This has to be some kind of trick."

"I'll bet they've used some kind of… _brainwashing technique_ on him. They're-they're probably planning to have him do all their dirty plans!… and also the schemes!" Caboose theorized, and Tali wasn't sure if it was influenced by Omega or it was just from Caboose's head.

"Caboose, that is ridiculous!" Tucker exclaimed, turning to the armed blue.

Caboose moved his aim and zoomed in on Tucker's face as he spoke, "Is it? Or is it so ridiculous, it's the most ridiculously perfect idea, that you never _thought of_?!"

"No, just the regular kind of ridiculous," Tucker deadpanned.

"Well, just keep your eye on him. We'll know it's a trick if he tries to get into our base," Church ordered, and just as he said that, guess who decided to speak up again?

"Hey guys? Do you think I could come hang out at your base for a little while?" _Splendid timing, truly Doc._

"I knew it! We're all gonna die!" Caboose exclaimed, half-panicked, before Omega took over again, "Starting with you…"

In a flash, Tali slid so she was staring down the sniper rifle's barrel and glared at the blue soldier, "Michael. Give it over."

 _:Omega! Get that thing away from Tucker's head before I–:_

 _:You what? Speak me to death?:_

 _:Actually, yes. So if you want to hear all about my adventures with these guys in full detail–:_

 _:Alright fine… just shut up woman.:_

With a dejected huff, Caboose placed the sniper rifle in Tali's hands while Tucker remained oblivious to the transaction. Thank goodness for little miracles.

Why Omega still listens to her? She has no clue. But she's happy he does!

"Sorry, but we're kinda busy here," Tucker called back, "So go away… or something!"

"Normally I wouldn't impose…" _But you will now_ , "But it's just that I don't know the neighborhood too well and–"

"Listen Doc, you're not foolin' anybody with that _innocent victim_ routine!" Church cut off Doc, still unable to turn to him.

"Hey, I could help! I know more than just medicine! I'm trained in psychology too, maybe I could help you with your problem facing people!"

Okay. She _may_ have lost it there. Seriously, she's crying of laughter.

"Tali, shut the fuck up!" Church yelled, though it came across more as a whine, "And get the hell outta here Doc!"

Forget what she said before. This was the best day ever.

…

…

…

"Alright Tucker, what the hell are we gonna do man? I gotta get my legs working here!" Church huffed, looking down at his unresponsive lower half… and that sounded weird.

"I dunno, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there," Tucker rubbed the back of his neck as he thought aloud, "I think we should call in a professional. Maybe someone who can fix Sheila too."

"Okay, great idea, but the only two people that can do that are Señor El Roboto and Tex–"

 _:Hey Tex?:_

 _:What is it? You need me for something?:_

 _:Actually yes. Do you think you've recovered enough to reveal yourself?:_

 _:Uh… yeah, I think so. Might take me a bit to get my armor on though…:_

 _:Okay. Church is having some problems with his body and we do kinda need to get Sheila up and running again.:_

 _:You mean the tank that I had just fixed before I received a life threatening injury?:_ Tex droned blandly.

Tali hesitated before responding, blinking a few times before stuttering out, _:…yes?:_

 _:Okay. I'll be there as fast as I can… maybe wait for a dramatic entrance.:_ Tex accepted rather quickly.

 _:I wouldn't expect anything less.:_ Tali chuckled.

"What about that Lopez person? Is he available?" She tuned back into the conversation as Caboose asked this.

"No. I'm in his body, remember?"

"Well… why don't you just leave his body, and then we will make him fix you and my girlfriend–"

 _Woah, can I turn my ears off like Church, or…_ Tali thought as she backed up a few steps.

"Girlfriend?"

"What, you retard–"

"I mean, uhh we'll make him fix you… and uh the beautiful tank lady who means nothing to me. Then we can get you back in his body when he is done," Caboose finished.

Tucker turned to Church, knowing Tali would just give him a disapproving glare, and said, "I'm confused. That actually sounded like a good idea."

"I know."

"…But Caboose said it."

"I know!" Church agreed, and a long silence descended on them. Suddenly, to Tali's immense surprise and, dare she say amusement, Tucker whacked the butt of his pistol straight down on the top of Church's head, the cobalt blue man's shields flashing dangerously.

" _OWW_!" Church yelled as he stumbled back and his hands flew to his helmet, " _WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR_?!"

"I dunno, I thought maybe I was dreaming, so I punched you in the face to make sure I wasn't," Tucker shrugged nonchalantly.

"Tucker, when you think you're dreaming, you don't punch somebody else. You get somebody else to pinch you," Church explained.

"Dude, I don't care what kind of dream I'm dreaming. I am _not_ asking you to pinch me," Tucker stated with finality, before looking over to her, "Tali on the other hand…"

Tali shrugged, stepping forward, "Sure, I'll help," And promptly punched him in the visor.

" _AH, FUCK_!" Tucker stumbled back, "I said _PINCH_!"

"Maybe your definition of pinch is different from mine," Tali replied smugly, stepping back.

"Alright, alright, let's try this," Church got them back on topic, "I'll jump out of Lopez's body for a bit, you three watch him so he doesn't try anything. Got it?"

"Okay!"

"Yes Church…"

"Just get on with it."

"Okay. Here it goes…HEGERHERGERK!" Woah… that was a weird sound.

…And Lopez is running off while Tucker and Caboose are chatting… _FUCK_!

 _Well, might as well go after him,_ she thought as she slid down the base wall yet again and began sprinting after the runaway robot.

…

…

…

Woah, there are a lot of explosions out here!

First Tucker threw a grenade through the teleporter (good plan in theory), then Church started screaming – big surprise there, she knows – and now the Reds were approaching in their jeep. _Fucking fantastic_!

And where was Lopez? Oh!

Tucker and Caboose seemed to have confronted him when he retreated, thanks to the grenade blast, and now… the Reds jeep was gearing up to ram them… uh-oh.

She quickly tuned into Tucker's radio, overhearing O'Malley talk about souls and other weird things, while Lopez ranted about… the coming of age for his people?

She sighed, _seriously, fuck this canyon_.

"– _think if I kick him in the switch he'll shut up?_ " … She's not even going to ask.

"Hey Tucker? You might want to move…" she suggested through the radio.

" _Why? What's goi– ohhh, I see."_

"Yeah…" Tali replied lamely, not too sure what else to say.

She watched on as Tucker began backing away slowly, pulling Caboose along with him, until Caboose caught sight of the jeep behind Lopez and promptly began running in circles. Tucker joined him soon after yelling something, and the two (eventually) gained enough sense of direction to head towards the base.

The Warthog revved forward, and Lopez turned in surprise. She furrowed her brows as Lopez didn't move, only seemed to mutter something as the jeep drew closer. Just a few more seconds and Lopez would be scrap–

" _HOLY SHIT!_ " Tali yelled as the Warthog exploded and flipped backwards at least three times in midair, Sarge and Simmons flying out like ragdolls and landing a ways away from the wreckage. _How the hell did Lopez do that_?

" **I'm sorry, father,** " She overheard Lopez say as she approached the group of three.

"Alright! Not bad, robot dude," Tucker complimented.

"I knew he would save us. I knew it!" Caboose exclaimed, practically bouncing in excitement, "Robot people always like me. It's because of my awesome dancing."

"Well, that was… interesting," Tali struggled to word the experience as she walked up to stand in front of Caboose and Tucker, Lopez next to her and staring mournfully at the Warthog wreckage.

" **My spirit is broken. My people have betrayed me and now all is lost. Do with me what you will…** " Lopez moaned in sorrow, but it was really just in his regular monotone voice. And it was _really_ depressing.

"Yeah, okay man," Tucker laughed a bit as he went along with what Lopez said, despite having no idea _what_ he said, "Can you just shut up and fix our tank?"

As if the day wasn't odd enough, Caboose flicked something on his helmet and music began playing through it, and he declared, "Dancing time!" And began to dance rather poorly… as well as try and imitate a robot.

" **The heart of this warrior cries out in sorrow.** "

Tucker was slowly backing away from Caboose, afraid that he'll be hit by the idiot's wildly waving arms, and Tali went along with it, ducking around Caboose and shielding herself with Tucker's body.

"What is he _doing_?" Tucker hissed to her as he backed up.

" **Why does this one mock me with his foolish dancing?** "

"What is he _saying_?" Tucker changed his question.

"I don't think you want to know either one, Tucker," Tali bit her lip as she clutched his arm, eyes darting between the two.

" **Are those moves supposed to look like a robot?** "

Tucker glanced back at her, and she could tell he eyed up how she was clutching onto his arm. _Can she not get a break?_

"Don't worry baby, I'll protect you," He patted her hand, and she could practically _picture_ him wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

" **They do not. I am offended by this.** "

She sighed. These guys were going to be the death of her.

…

…

…

"Alright. That's the deal Mister Robot. You fix the tank, we'll let you go free," Church summed up their 'agreement'.

Caboose turned to Tali and Tucker and leaned in, whispering loudly, "I thought the plan was to trick him into fixing the tank and then Church will take over his body again when he is done."

Tali put a hand on Caboose's shoulder and answered in an actual whisper, "That is the plan. But you see, Lopez doesn't know that, so shh," She tapped a finger to her helmet, "Our secret, okay Michael?"

"Ohhhh… okay. I will be very… _secretive_ about it," Caboose nodded gravely.

Tucker shook his head, "I will never know how you deal with him."

" **Where will I go? Even my friends have tried to kill me,** " Lopez droned, and Tali tried to tune it out so her own heart won't be broken. Poor Lopez.

"Okay, I'm gonna take that as a yes," Church assumed, "And let you get busy with the tank fixing."

" **I have no home.** "

 _:Oh-ho my god! Tex, where the hell are you? I can't take this much longer by myself!:_

 _:You survived for three months. What's another hour?:_

 _:I'm listening to a sad spanish speaking robot drone about his broken life. It's so depressing!:_

 _:Oh… I'll try and hurry it up then.:_

 _:You cannot hurry fast enough. Trust me.:_

…

…

…

April rubbed her eyes as she stepped outside of the base, spotting Simmons, Sarge, and Donut around the Warthog wreckage and Grif… standing atop one of the wheels with a sniper rifle?

Interesting.

She slipped her helmet over her head as she jogged over, calling, "Hey, what did I miss?"

"Eh, nothing much," Grif shrugged, "Sarge and Simmons totalled the jeep again, and a very poorly executed attack by the blues– _ohfucktheirtankisgettingfixed!_ "

"…Huh?" April blinked as she stopped besides Sarge, "Grif, take a deep breath and say that again."

"T-the blues! They got a guy fixing their tank!" Grif reported to them urgently.

"What? That's _impossible_! Our intelligence _clearly_ states–"

"We have intelligence?" Donut interjected, but was ignored.

"–that the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training, are that dead freelancer and Lopez! Oh, wait a minute…" Sarge paced as he spoke.

 _Dead? Ha, I think not,_ April thought with a hidden grin from behind her visor.

"Sarge, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Simmons began, "Lopez runs away, the jeep starts driving itself, and suddenly, there's a new guy on the blue team?"

"Yes, Simmons," Sarge agreed… or so they thought, "Quite obviously the Blue team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam that they used on Lopez and now he has to do their evil blue bidding!"

"Or…" Grif jumped down from the Warthog and stepped forward, "Since he's a robot, maybe they just _reprogrammed_ him."

"Or maybe that blue guy that got killed by the tank came back as a ghost, and now he's possessing Lopez's body. That could also explain why Sarge went nuts when we had the prisoner. The Blue ghost probably possessed him too. And the jeep going nuts was probably a weird set of coincidences while the guy learned how to use Lopez's body," Donut suggested.

… _Wow. Bravo, Donut, bravo,_ April applauded in her head, blinking owlishly at him.

The others weren't so appalled, to be expected.

"…I think I like the ray beam idea better," Simmons broke the silence.

"Yeah, rookie. Your idea sounds a little dumb."

…

…

…

"I never thought someone could have that much energy," Tali commented as she watched Caboose continuously jump up and down, like he has been for the past hour.

"I'm not surprised with anything Caboose does anymore," Tucker shrugged beside her, throwing pebbles through Church's translucent form from his and Tali's spot leaning on a rock.

"Tucker. _FUCKING STOP_!"

"Nah, I'm good," Tucker dismissed Church's anger and threw a rock right through Church's head.

"Don't make me do this, Tucker," Church stood above their seated forms threateningly.

Tucker looked up at the blue ghost, rather unimpressed, "You really want to risk possessing me and seeing the shit in my mind?" He raised a brow as he asked this.

"Good point. Doesn't mean I can't use someone to beat the living crap out of you though," Church commented, turning to Tali, "Now Tali, this might feel weird…"

She blinked, looking up, "Don't you dare– _FUCKING SHIT_!"

Church jumped to possess her, but she threw up her mental walls quickly, focusing on the asshole brother A.I. in her mind currently.

 _:Church, get the fuck out right now before I_ _ **force**_ _you out!:_

 _:Well, this has never happened before,:_ Church commented offhandedly, _:How're you doing this?:_

Tali was at a loss of words for a second. What the hell should she tell him? She isn't supposed to be able to do this, and Church would be smart enough to...hold up a second. Nah, he wouldn't question it if it's from her. She felt bad lying to her brother, but she had to do it, _:You think you were a random pick for ghostly powers? It's genetic, dumbass, now get out!:_ And at that, she forced an electric spark bigger than she ever did before.

" _JESUS H. CHRIST THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH_!" Church howled as he jumped out of her mind, patting the electricity away on his form.

"Fuck… you… asshole…" Tali gasped, coughing weakly.

"Damn, what the hell did you do to her?" Tucker asked with curiosity, but his tone was also tight and he seemed to be glaring for some reason. Was he angry?

Just then she noticed that she had slumped considerably from her previous position, and was basically dead weight on Tucker's shoulder. Thank god they were already sitting.

"Tali, how the hell did you do that?" Church asked, shocked and appalled.

"Like I said," Tali sucked in a breath, using Tucker as support to stand, "It's genetic, 'kay?"

"What's genetic?" Tucker questioned confusedly.

"So you're sayin' that you could potentially possess someone, and I could have too, while still living?" Church stated slowly.

"You want a demonstration?" Tali scowled, "Trust me, it'll be a much different outcome than your attempt."

"…no, I'm good. I believe you."

"Hurry hurry hurry, fix the tank! So that I can say hello to Sheila!" Caboose chirped obliviously, and O'Malley added, "And start killing everyone."

"Uh… you mean all the Reds, right?" Tucker broached cautiously, helping Tali stand by the tank as well.

"Of course!… for starters."

Tali growled lowly before barking through the link, _:Tex, where in the fuck are you?! O'Malley's planning to use the tank once it's fixed!:_

 _:…waiting for that dramatic entrance, Tali. Just give it a minute.:_

" **Complete,** " Lopez declared, jumping off the front of the tank and watching along with everyone else as Sheila went back online.

"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank–"

Caboose ran forward with barely contained excitement, "Sheila! You're fixed, you're fixed–"

"Hello Private Caboose. It is good to see you again," Sheila replied in her regular cheerful voice, "Thank you for repairing me."

"He didn't fix you," Tucker corrected, "Our robot did it."

"Don't cock-block me!" Uhhhh…

"Robot? I wasn't aware that our squad was outfitted with a robot," And then she spotted Lopez… were those harps playing in the background?

 _:You really want to enter on this, huh Tex?:_

 _:Not particularly… this is odd.:_

"Hello there. My name is Sheila, the M808V Main Battle Tank."

" **And I am Lopez, the heavy.** "

"Lopez, what a nice name for a nice soldier. You have such excellent motor skills–"

Woah, this was getting a little weird! Who knew that robots and tanks could make that sort of connection?

"Uhm, yes. Well Lopez has to go now… he was just here to help me fix you, and now he has to _go away,_ " Caboose all but growled the last bit of his sentence.

"Dude, this is getting weird. Church, will you take your fucking body back?" Tucker pleaded.

"Roger that," Church replied, running forward and into Lopez's body.

 _:…Hey Tex. Got the perfect entrance for you that'll also piss off Church. Interested?:_

 _:Interested? Pfft, I'm already on it.:_

Just as Church was about to fully possess Lopez, a flash of black armor zoomed forward and punched Lopez hard on the side of the helmet. The robot crumpled, and Church was thrown from the body, and for good measure, Tali installed a resisting code for Lopez so Church wouldn't be able to jump into him in the future.

Oh, the lengths she'll go for a joke.

"What the– _TEX_!" Church suddenly yelled, none too happy with the black armored agent.

"Well, buenos dias cockbites! Guess who's back?" Tex cocked out a hip and crossed her arms, looking rather smug.

 _:Nice to have you back, Texas.:_

 _:Good to be back, Tali.:_

"Why the fuck did you do that Tex?!" Church howled as he advanced on her.

"Dunno. Felt like it," Tex shrugged, not at all concerned or apologetic.

" _Felt_ like it? Okay, one, why, two how are you up and moving, and three, _why_?!"

"I've been awake for a little over a month Church," Tex retorted flatly, one hand on her hip.

Church rounded on Tali, "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Uh, because Tex told me not to?" Tali shrugged, now standing on her own.

"I am confused… I thought his name was Lopez, but… it was really you, Church?" Sheila tried to work out what just happened.

"Ugh, Caboose, go explain to Sheila, okay?" Church asked of the blue.

"Yay! Sheeeeiiilllaa!" Caboose yelled as he hopped up onto the tank.

"Alright, Tex… what's going on?" Church asked slowly.

"Well, ever since I've been hospitalized, I asked Tali to give me access to the surveillance cameras, which gave me time to watch you guys a lot," Tex began.

"Woah, when you say watching us, do you mean watching us all the time?" Tucker questioned nervously, and Tali noticed him glancing back at a… rock? "Like even when we're alone?"

 _What does he– oh, what the fuck Tucker?!_

"Yes Tucker, and you should be _very_ ashamed of yourself," Tex stated sternly.

Tucker looked down and mumbled, "Not my fault I sleep next to a hot chick every night–"

"What?" Oh dear god, she was so not hearing this.

"Nothing!" Tucker responded a little too quickly.

"Anyway, I've noticed a change in one of your guys," Tex stated outright, "Caboose."

"A change? Like what, he finally learned the whole alphabet?" Church asked blandly.

Tali and Tex exchanged a look. Was it time?

 _:Have you tried jumping into Caboose's mind before, Tali?:_

 _:Yeah, but I don't have nearly enough power to get in. Omega's had a lot of time to build up a resistance. Church would need to enter first to weaken his systems, and then I could slip in.:_

 _:How do you know Church can get in?:_

 _:The Alpha has more power than you realize, Tex. Hell, even more than he himself realizes.:_

"You haven't noticed he's become increasingly aggressive lately?" Tex asked rhetorically.

"I have!" Tucker stepped forward, "Around about the same time Sheila got disabled and you got blown up. I tried to tell Church, but he never listens, and there's only so much Tali can do."

"Tucker. There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think I walk that line every day," Church retorted calmly, and Tali resisted sighing.

"I had just finished repairing the tank when I heard Church's plan to warn the Reds about me," Tex explained, "From what I can tell, the A.I. calculated the odds of survival and didn't like the results. Once Caboose turned on his radio to call Church, it took its chance."

"And that was when he said his name is O'Malley!" Tucker ended the explanation, "So the A.I. that was in you infected Caboose?"

"Oh right! Everyone's armor has one slot for an A.I., and Caboose's would've been vacant," Church mused.

"I think there are a few non-artificial slots that are empty too," Tucker mumbled.

"And before I could figure out what happened, that bitch hit me with a really lucky shot," Tex exclaimed, looking frustrated, "Next thing I know I'm in the infirmary."

"Alright, I get it. Caboose has your precious little A.I.," Church grumbled, "So let me guess; you're gonna keep my body inoperative until I help you get it back."

"Incorrect," Tali spoke up for the first time in a while, moving to stand beside Tex, "Tex's A.I. is destabilizing. She can't control it anymore, nor can anyone else. I've seen firsthand what he has tried to do."

"Right," Tex nodded once, "So, you're gonna help me kill it."

…

…

…

"Ladies! It has come to my attention that we are in need of a new robot type person," Sarge marched up and down the line of soldiers, "Who here wants to volunteer?"

"Are we going on a trip?" Donut asked, "I love trips! Can we play I Spy?"

"Donut, we're not going on a trip–" April began.

"So shut up!" Grif interrupted, looking over April's head to Donut.

"Uh, sir? What exactly do you mean by volunteer?" Simmons questioned, ignoring Donut's pleading.

"Quite obviously we are without a robot or any type of recruit with mechanical training or dexterity–"

"Uh, excuse me?" April crossed her arms, but was ignored.

"–the only solution is to turn one of you into a robot and or into a freaky cyborg thing."

All three of the men began protesting (while Donut recommended Simmons), and April stepped forward, concern in her posture.

"Sir, without a proper surgical bay and multiple trained professionals in the conversion, survival of this process would be slim, if not impossible," She reported.

"Nonsense! Lopez has left most of his tools and supplies and I'm around! What could possibly go wrong?" Sarge retorted with a smug air about him.

"Um… a lot of things sir," April argued, "Not only does someone have to monitor the exact placement of the mechanized parts, but there are multiple other factors to take into account. Medical issues with the subject, close monitoring of the patient's life signs, and which organs can be discarded. Also, a cybernetics lab would be required. Not to mention that the army goes through thousands of potential candidates to find the perfect subject for this process. Basically, what you're asking to do is like training a Spartan how to kill with their mind."

All four men stared blankly at her, and she assumed that they didn't know half of what she just spouted meant.

"Look, it's just not possible when we're so ill-equipped to go through this process!" She shouted suddenly.

"Even though I'm agreeing with April on the account that she's saying we shouldn't do this… how the hell did you know all that?!" Simmons questioned in bewilderment.

"I've witnessed the process… it's not very pretty," _Rest in peace, Agent Vermont._

"Yeah, okay. Sarge, you should listen to her. That sounded like a lot of reasons pointed to _not_ doing this," Grif supported April's point.

"Ah, horse pucky! I appreciate your concerns but this procedure is rather simple," Sarge contradicted April's words, "Basically, we get rid of the slimy goo and guts of the human, and replace it with the mechanized and oily guts of a robot."

"…No, that would be incorrect, sir," April shook her head.

"It's the perfect plan! And we won't be at risk of another reprogrammed robot," Sarge ignored her.

April sighed, realizing that Sarge wasn't backing down, "Whoever has this operation done on them, I'll try my best to keep you alive. No promises though."

"Great," Grif moaned.

"Now for this to be foolproof, we need to use someone we trust–"

"Ah, fuck me," Simmons groaned.

"–or, someone whose mental capacity is so tiny that he could never be turned against us."

"Hey, pink suit guys! I think it's somebody else's turn in the barrel," Donut defended himself.

"Then again maybe we stick with the trustworthy thing," Sarge looked at Simmons.

"Ah, you backstabbing assmonkies," Simmons grumbled, looking none too pleased at his current predicament.

…

…

…

"I don't remember much from the implantation process," Tex began, "I _do_ remember that the A.I. can be transmitted from host to host by way of the helmet radio. Before I learned anything else, the A.I. took over and we escaped. If we can kill the A.I. and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat it."

"And then, I can have my body back without you punching me out of it. Deal?"

"Deal," Tex agreed.

"Alright. I'll possess Caboose–"

"As will I," Tali added, brooking no room for argument. Tex shot her a look, but Tali merely shrugged, saying with her posture that she wouldn't reveal anything. She was rather positive that no one could connect the dots very well. They were picked for a reason after all.

"Fine," Church agreed reluctantly, "Tucker, we need you to work on the Reds. Get them to turn off their helmet radio's so O'Malley won't have anywhere to go once we get him out of there."

"Good thinking," Tex praised.

"What? How am I gonna do that?" Tucker exclaimed, "You know how I feel about plans!" _Hey, at least Lopez was getting up now._

"You're not gonna have much time once Tali and Church get in there, so you're gonna have to move fast!" Tex told him.

"Oh I see. You have no idea what I should do or how I should do it, but whatever I do I should do it fast."

"Yeah that's right," Church affirmed.

"Wow. You guys are a lot of help," Tucker stated sarcastically.

Tali patted his shoulder, "I'm sure you'll think of something."

" **Ow. What happened to me?** " Lopez mumbled as he unsteadily climbed to his robotic feet.

 _:Tex, when we go in, go down to the cave systems and try to find Kai. Maybe you can trap Omega in one of the computers down there:_

 _:Will do. Anything else?:_

 _:Yeah...keep an eye on your six. One of the AWOL Agents is lurking around in the caves, but April hasn't been able to pinpoint his location:_

"You first, Church," Tali nodded her head to Caboose.

"Alright, here it goes…" Church began, "Hey Caboose! Heads up!" And he surged forward.

"Hey Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"Catch," Tali said as she linked to Caboose's armor, her body falling backwards.

"Woah, what the hell happened to her?" Tucker exclaimed as he held onto her unmoving form.

"NO!" O'Malley yelled, and when Tucker looked up, Tex was gone.

...

...

...

 _Thanks to everyone that followed this story! I appreciate the support!_

 _As for the guest reviewer: I like Doc too, but Tali is not a very tolerant person when concerning what exactly she is. April is much more tolerant and friendly, but she doesn't stand for people insulting a member of her team that isn't someone she knows well, like Tali for example._

 _Speaking of what Tali and April are exactly...next chapter may reveal a bit more of what exactly Tali and April are and who Libby is. ;)_

 _Happy writing!_ _Lonessa out._


	8. The Scale (The Bull Comes After)

_Alright, here's a look at Project Freelancer! Also, thanks to everyone that has followed and faved and reviewed this story. I'm glad people are enjoying it thus far!_

...

...

...

"Is it ready, Counselor?"

"Yes Director. All systems are green. Shall we continue?"

Doctor Church pushed his glasses farther up his nose, schooling his regular indifferent and scowling look. He glanced around at the blinking blue lights before focusing on the small screen set to lay horizontal, and nodded.

"Very well. FILSS? Commence final stages of A.I. Personality Configuration," the Counselor requested with his regular calm voice.

" _I am sorry, but only the Director has clearance to–_ "

"Just get it done, FILSS," the Director grouched, and the automated voice changed her tune.

" _Of course, Director. Beginning Final Stage._ "

The blue lights blinked brighter and brighter around the horizontal screen, becoming so intense that the Director and Counselor had to squint and shield their eyes. The machines hummed positively as a patterned sequence flashed, colors ranging from the darkest blue to the brightest red. In a sudden blinding white light, the machines abruptly whirred down, the screens flickering to black before returning to their regular soft blue glow.

The Director glanced around, frown still in place, and he asked, "Is it done?"

" _Personality Configuration complete. Test Subject: Alpha is currently booting up_ ," FILSS droned before abruptly adding, " _Error: second subject unknown. Further analysis is necessary_."

"Second subject?" The Director repeated, looking sharply to the Counselor.

The dark skinned man typed a few things into his datapad, reading over the results, "It would seem that the Alpha has… created and split a version of itself during creation, sir."

"And what is this version like? Do we have two fully functional AI's?" The Director questioned, watching as the Counselor looked back down at the pad.

"Not completely. This second version is…fragmented. It will also appear as a different avatar from the Alpha. This version only has a part of Alpha's personality, and is a bi-product of the process."

"What part of Alpha's personality has this version maintained?" The Director drilled, impatient.

"Who are you?" A feminine voice suddenly chirped, and the two men whipped their heads to the screen.

The A.I. projected itself to seem like it was standing on the screen, a holographic hip cocked out and flipping blue hair to one side of its face. It was without armor, resembling Master Chief's A.I., Cortana, in figure, except the hair was much longer and the face less round. The A.I… _frowned_ , and asked again.

"Where am I? Who are you?"

"Counselor…"

"This is the Alpha's curiosity it seems, and if these scans are correct, it has also… retained Alpha's survival instinct," the Counselor reported, and the Director nodded once.

"Very well then. How are you feeling?" The Director asked the blue A.I.

"I…I don't know. I feel weird," The A.I. replied, hands cradling her head.

"Define weird," the Counselor pried.

"Like… like I'm not fully me. Who am I?" It asked.

The Director looked to the Counselor, who hurriedly scrolled through the datapad, "You are a…sister of Alpha. Do you remember Alpha?"

"Alpha…Alpha…oh, yes!" The small blue A.I. cheered, "I remember! The lights were all scary and he helped me."

"You were frightened by the lights?" The Counselor probed.

"Enough. Do you know your name?" The Director cut in.

"I… no. What is my name?" The A.I. asked, "Where am I? Where is Alpha?"

"Alpha is fine. You are safe," The Director assured.

"Your name is Libra," the Counselor butted in, surprising the Director, "That is your name."

"Libra? I thought my name was… Alpha? But my brother is Alpha…"

"The confusion is understandable," The Director caught on, urging the Counselor to continue.

"This is a lot to process in such a short amount of time. Do you feel uneasy?"

"No… just disoriented…"

"That will pass in time. For now, we can wait for Alpha to appear," the Director decided.

"I would like that. Where is my brother?" The A.I., Libra, asked.

"Do you remember anything else of the Alpha?" The Counselor questioned.

"I… remember things like the sound of his voice, what he looks like… am I supposed to remember more?" Libra asked suddenly with fear.

"No, that's what you should remember," the Counselor assured.

"Okay. Good," Libra sighed, "But I still don't know where I am."

"You are on the _Mother of Invention_ ," the Director replied, "I assume Alpha is already well informed?"

" _Yes, Director,_ " FILSS responded.

"Ah, goddammit! What did that thing do to my head?" The A.I. in question popped up beside Libra, looking around wildly.

"Brother!" Libra exclaimed, flinging holographic arms around the Alpha's neck, and the Director was even more surprised when the Alpha hugged Libra back, "What took you so long?"

"Sorry, sis," Alpha apologized, "FILSS wouldn't let me go right away."

" _My apologies, but under the Director's order I am required–_ "

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," the Alpha waved his armored hand, "Sup, Director."

The Director exchanged a look with the Counselor, and cleared his throat, "Hello, Alpha. How are you feeling?"

"Besides having my brain being scraped against a cheese grater? Fucking fantastic," Alpha replied with sarcasm, crossing his arms.

"Hey, wait a second... why are all of those people named after states?" Libra asked suddenly, scrolling through lines of data.

"Libra, did I give you clearance to access personnel files?" The Director suddenly barked, scaring the A.I.

"Hey, back off! It's bad enough your alien shit fucked with our minds, don't scold her for being curious!" Alpha put a protective arm around Libra, leaning towards her and adding quietly, "I would've totally done that too."

"Sorry," Libra replied anyway, "I'm just curious."

"And that is completely understandable," The Counselor soothed, "However, some information may be too… sensitive for you too look at simply for curiosity."

"Was that too sensitive? I'm sorry!" Libra squeaked.

"No, it was not. But if you are so curious…" The Director began, "Maybe we can arrange something for you while Alpha gets acquainted with the systems."

"I...I would very much appreciate that, Director!"

…

…

…

"Alpha, what do you think?"

"I dunno, Libra, just pick one at random."

Libra bit her holographic lip, not actually feeling the pain but simply used to the human gesture, "But what if the person is _boring?_ "

"Then hop to another agent," Alpha shrugged, not bothering to look up from his work.

"I can do that?" Libra's eyes widened and she exclaimed, "Sweet! See you in a bit, brother."

"Yeah, have fun," Alpha waved her off, but her avatar was already fading away.

When she reopened her eyes, she was seeing through the eyes of another, watching as a tan armored hand reached out and stabbed at the unknown substance on a grey tray. She tuned into the audio and heard him speak.

"I swear to god Wyoming, if you tell one more of those knock knock jokes, I'm gonna throttle you," He punctuated his sentence by slamming his fork down into his food again, and she could practically feel the suppressed anger radiating in him.

"I do say, you're mighty aggressive today, aren't you?" A man in white armor and sporting a ridiculous mustache replied, and provoking him by pausing for a moment, "…knock knock."

"I'm going to shoot myself."

"Hmm, rather extreme," Wyoming stated in a rather over the top British accent.

"That's impressive," A soldier in grey and yellow armor plopped down with his tray beside the tan armored man, "I was gone for five minutes and you're still arguing with him, York."

The man, _York,_ threw a hand up, " _He won't end the fucking joke!_ "

Libra felt a need to help assist the distressed agent, and whispered,: _You know, if you ignore him he'll probably stop:_

"Already tried that," He replied without thinking, "He just keeps go–wait, what?"

"What's wrong?" The steel and yellow armored man asked.

"I mean, did you hear that?" York questioned, receiving blank looks.

"No.…"

"I say, good chap, I fear you've lost your noggin just a tad… knock knock."

"Wyoming… shut up."

 _:Oh, I'm sorry! They can't hear me, but you can. My name is Libra_ : Libra apologized to York, who glanced around with utter confusion.

"Uh… right. I'll be right back…" York stated slowly as he eased out of his seat, strolling out of the mess hall and ensuring no one was around before he spoke, "Am I going crazy or something?"

Libra decided a visual was needed for him to understand, so she appeared in front of him, hands clasped in front of her, "No, I'm very much real, Agent New York."

It was odd to see a human face that wasn't cast in dark shadows like the Director and Counselor had been. This human had light brown hair and warm but confused brown eyes, and she couldn't help but smile at his befuddled look.

"Ooooookay…"

"I'm sorry if I confused you. My name is Libra, as I've said before," Libra apologized with sincerity, looking abashed, "I was created today by the Director, and I wanted to meet one of the agents."

She watched in fascination as the furry things above his eyes (eyebrows! That's what they were called) furrowed and created creases in between them, and he spoke, "Why me? And what are you exactly?"

"I am an Artificial Intelligence, like the shipboard A.I., FILSS. Only I am bound by far less restrictions. And as for picking you… I looked over multiple personality and psychological reports, and I noticed you were one of the more welcoming agents. I thought you would adapt to my sudden appearance easier than most," Libra scuffed her bare foot on the nonexistent floor, "If you are uncomfortable, I can find another agent."

"Uh, no. No you're fine. Gotta say though, I never expected an A.I. to look like you do," York quickly recovered, adjusting to the everyday curveballs in Freelancer.

"A.I.'s all have a different look about them. How a look is decided however, is unknown," Libra shrugged, "I know that my brother is equipped with armor much like your own, with the exception of it being a pale blue."

"That's kinda cool," Agent York admitted, striding along the corridors, "So, what are you trying to gain camping out with me?"

"What does 'camping' mean? Libra asked quizzically, moving to perch on his shoulder.

"Camping's when you're hanging out with someone… meaning you're spending time with them," York clarified after a pause, and Libra nodded in understanding.

"I see. Well, there is no set goal for me currently. My creation was unexpected, according to the Counselor, and I have been given permission to meet all high ranked agents," Libra swung her leg back and forth as she talked, and York was almost deceived into thinking she was actually sitting on his shoulder.

"Interesting. So, you met me. Do you… want me to take you to some other agents?"

Libra pondered the thought for a moment, her processing power making good use out of the couple seconds. She decided that she would like to stay with someone who knew her as she introduced herself to other agents, and she nodded happily.

"I would like that, Agent New York."

The freelancer chuckled, adjusting his course to the recreational room, and added as an afterthought, "Just call me York. Everyone else does."

The small blue A.I. paused for a moment before consenting to his request, and replied, "If you prefer it… York."

Libra glanced around the halls as York walked, blue code thrumming and gliding along in harmony. She was enraptured by the contrast of York's more… fleshy colors as opposed to the constant shades of blue she usually saw.

"Who are we meeting?" Libra turned to York, legs tucked underneath her holographic body.

"Last time I saw them, North and South were in the rec room. Here's hopin' they're still there," York shrugged, glancing at the small A.I. as he spoke. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind screaming that this situation was beyond odd, and it was extremely odd that this little blue A.I. picked him out of fifty plus agents.

"As in North and South Dakota? North Dakota was my second choice to transfer to. This is most fortunate," Libra chirped happily, and York found himself surprised by the amount of emotions that she possessed.

"…As for Agent Wyoming–"

"Oh, right. Forgot you heard some of that," York sighed, "Just ignore him. I'm pretty sure half his vocabulary consists of 'knock knock'."

She cocked her head and frowned, asking, "What is a 'knock knock'?"

York had to resist a chuckle, realizing that the Director didn't bother to inform the A.I. of lots of basic words and actions, and explained, "It's the sound that you make when hitting your knuckles on a door."

Intrigued, Libra loaded up a blue door her size and she stood, knocking on it. The sound brought understanding to her face, and York noticed she seemed… happy.

"Oh! I understand now! Him saying knock knock is like asking for entry, only it is usually asked without words," Libra clapped her hands together at her discovery.

York couldn't help but smile. The little A.I. was too cute not to.

"In his case, he's just trying to make a joke, but yeah, that's what it's like."

When they arrived at the rec room, York stopped, glancing at Libra, "You ready to meet the Dakota twins?"

She stopped for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before she nodded once, "I am ready."

…

…

…

"Hey guys, got a minute?" York called to two armored people looking out a window.

Libra saw that one was a deep purple and the other was more lilac, both sporting green accents. The shorter and one of more feminine stature was South Dakota, and the taller was North Dakota. That is, if her information was correct.

As York explained what they were about to see, she sifted through the lines of code running on York's armor. It was nothing really of interest, just Alpha sending her an order from the Director. She created a basic outline of the code she herself was made of before any contact with humans were made, and sent it to Alpha before returning to the two new agents in front of her.

"So what, this thing decided it wanted to spy on you?" South quipped sourly.

"I do not intend to invade anyone's privacy, Agent South Dakota," Libra spoke up, appearing on York's shoulder, "The Director allowed me to do this so I can learn more about agents in this Project."

The Dakota's took a moment to take in the small blue figure, and North was the first to recover, "I bet you're having fun with this, York."

She sensed irritation from the tan agent, and he replied, "It's not like that, man. I'm just helping her out."

"Her? It's an it!" South exclaimed, and Libra felt a small pang in her processors.

She assumed that other agents may have been less welcoming to her presence, due to the unknown that were A.I.'s, but it was still hurtful to hear it. She may be made of code but she still had feelings!

She didn't say any of this, and went to politely reply, but was interrupted, "Hey, take it easy! She was just created today South, and she's just trying to learn the ropes."

Immense gratitude flooded through her, and she looked in shock at the tan freelancer. He glanced at her hologram and gave her a small grin before returning his gaze to the twins.

 _:Thank you, York. That means a lot to me:_ She told him in his mind, filtering her sincerity through so he could feel it.

 _:I got your back, Blue:'_ She heard him respond, and to her surprise, he sent her his strength and support.

"So, what do you think so far, Libra?" The purple agent, North, addressed her with a kind voice.

Libra blinked before answering, contemplating her experience so far, "Well, I do think that Agent Wyoming loves to annoy others. I haven't heard Agent Washington speak enough for a good analysis," She turned to York then, a small smile gracing her face, "York is rather nice though. Where most people would have been annoyed at my questioning, York was rather patient and… entertaining to talk to."

"Why thank you, Libra," York bowed his head jokingly, but his tone was sincere.

"Yeah, and what about us?" South crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly in what Libra assumed to be an intimidating gesture.

"Well, North Dakota seems rather patient as well. He was my second choice if York was to reject my intrusion," Libra began slowly, "As for you, Agent South Dakota, your wariness of me is understandable. Artificial Intelligence is still rather new to the universe, and is widely unknown. I hope that we can become allies in the future."

South seemed visibly surprised, and Libra felt York's amusement through the link. Despite her scoff and dismissive tone, Libra could see in her body motion that she was, at the minimal, mildly impressed. Libra had a feeling South wasn't one to actually compliment, and took it in good grace.

North, being quite the opposite of South, must've been smiling behind his helmet, and she heard it in his voice, "Thanks, Libra. That's nice of you to say."

The small A.I. stepped a little closer to the side of York's neck, unused to praise and wanting to make herself smaller, and simply smiled.

…

…

…

York patrolled her around the ship and introduced her to all of the other top Freelancers.

Maine was unaffected, merely shrugging and greeting Libra in the fewest words possible, Wyoming immediately launched into his knock knock jokes and asked if it was possible they could appropriate tea for the agents, Florida was friendly to the point of it being extremely creepy, and Carolina was rather wary and untrusting the entire time, much like South but with more bite. Connecticut couldn't be found, but York mentioned she was a bit antisocial, so Libra decided to not pursue her.

Washington was the longest introduction, what with him visibly jolting in his seat when Libra appeared, and York had to explain to the youngest of Team One that she was indeed not a threat and an ally to them all.

"So… how's it like?" Washington asked after a moment, and Libra blinked her holographic eyes.

"How's what like, Agent Washington?"

"Being an A.I., I mean," He elaborated, expertly sipping on his drink through his helmet and causing York to cringe.

"Seriously, man. Just take the helmet off," York sighed, sitting back in his seat sans armor.

"I don't know how to compare being an Artificial Intelligence Program to a human," Libra appeared on the table in front of the steel and yellow soldier, scuffing her foot on the table.

"Oh… right," Washington uttered awkwardly, while York clipped the back of his helmeted head.

Seeing the small A.I. look… _ashamed_ (seriously, how a computer program can seem so human, he would never know), York went to comfort her, "Hey, there's no shame in that. Just describe what you see. Who knows, maybe we see the same stuff."

"Okay," Libra replied hesitantly before beginning to explain, "Well, everything that isn't an organic substance is made of lines of blue code. Like this table," She gestured to the long table she was standing on, "As for organics like yourselves, I can see color. You, Agent Washington, are a steel color with bits of yellow," She then turned to York, "In armor you are a tannish color, while at the moment your exposed skin is a lighter tan. Making up your forms are small colored octagonal shapes."

The two male agents shared a look of surprise, and Washington responded, "That sounds kinda awesome, actually."

"Oh. Thank you!" Libra twisted her torso back and forth, giddy that the two humans liked her description.

"We obviously don't see code, but we do see colors on ourselves too. Minus the octagons," York explained to her.

"And instead of code, we can see other colors," Washington added on.

"That sounds interesting," Libra replied sincerely, making small hops in place, "Sometimes I can create a box-like area walled in with code. These are called firewalls. When I use these, the organic colors that I see on you two would disappear. I have not experimented enough to have a solid answer on why this is the case, but organics instead become this...webbing of code, you could say."

"Neat trick," Washington admitted, before turning to York, "So is it–… er, _she_ going to be in the field with us?"

Libra was surprised that he changed his original 'it' comment about her to 'she', and in her puzzling, missed the glare York had sent him at the time. Instead, she answered, "It is possible I may be loaded into one of your hard suits for a mission of importance. The Director is yet to make a decision however."

She suddenly felt a tug in her systems, her vision unfocusing. Her instinct was to blink, but it did no good, and her avatar wavered for a moment.

"What just happened?" She heard Washington ask.

"Libra, what's wrong?" York questioned with more urgency, leaning forward in his seat.

She didn't answer, the overwhelming spikes of energy coursing through her unusual and a bit overwhelming. Since she resided in an agent's armor, it was more of a danger for both her and the human, since too much energy inflow could shock and kill York, as well as cause her to short circuit.

 _:Tell me what's going on, Blue:_ York demanded softly through the link, but she was too busy re-routing the influx of energy to her non-critical systems.

Since York did not occupy his armor, she couldn't discharge any electricity to ease the power influx, and it caused her to panic slightly. Secondary power was dangerously close to overflow, and primary wouldn't hold much…

"Agent Washington, would you mind if I jump into your armor for just a moment?"

"Uh...Sure?" Washington replied in confusion.

"Thank you. I would suggest that you back up a few paces, York," Libra said as she transferred herself to Washington's armor, and waited until York was an appropriate distance away, "Now, do not be alarmed at what is about to occur. You will not be harmed, Agent Washington."

"What do you mean- _OH MY GOD!_ "

Sparks of electricity began to run all along Washington's armor, trying to reach out to other metallic objects that would conduct it. As this was occurring, Washington seemed to be frozen in absolute fear, though Libra made sure to not hurt the steel and yellow colored soldier. As more electricity was discharged, the power that was surging through Libra slowly began to dissipate until her energy was at a normal level. She immediately stopped releasing energy and transferred herself back to York.

"I apologize," She eventually responded, releasing a long breath that she did not actually have in her lungs, "I have just experienced a large power flow through my major systems. It required all my attention, and I required a way to dispel that energy."

"Okay… what does that mean?" Washington replied sheepishly after a moment.

"It means that a lot of energy surged into critical systems, and to avoid short circuiting, I had to reroute power to as many non-critical and secondary systems… by that I mean to avoid death," She clarified once she saw he was still deeply confused.

"Oh."

"You nearly just died there?" York repeated, more than a little alarmed.

"Not necessarily what you would classify as death. I was issued an order earlier to make a backup of the code that I originated from, and if I was to short circuit, my last action would be transferring all vital data to that copy. I may have needed to be introduced to the agents again, but that would be the extent of my 'death'."

"Well, where did this powerflow come from? Can it happen again?" Agent Washington questioned with a concerned tone.

"Unknown. I would have to consult the Director for permission to investigate," Libra reported dutifully.

" _Subject Libra, please report to the bridge. Repeat, Subject Libra to the bridge,"_ FLISS broadcasted over the speakers robotically, and Libra slumped.

"I'm guessing that's your queue?" Washington asked dryly, receiving a nod in return.

"I'm afraid so. Well, it has been a pleasure talking with you both, York and Agent Washington. I hope to talk with you again soon," Libra said genuinely.

"You can just call me Wash," Washington replied, "It's less of a mouthful."

"Duly noted, Wash," Libra smiled slightly, "I will find you again as soon as I am available… if that is okay with you?" She added with an unsure tone.

"Of course," York smiled warmly, boosting her confidence.

And with a final wave, she blinked out of existence.

…

…

…

"It would seem that most of the top agents responded to her positively, sir," the Counselor reported dutifully.

"Which agents are untrusting of Subject Libra?" The Director questioned.

The Counselor consulted his datapad again, "Agent Carolina and Agent South Dakota. However, Libra impressed South Dakota in her understanding towards the distrust, and when met with Carolina, the agent was left with a more positive outlook on A.I. forms."

"Hm. What of the other top agents?"

"Agents New York and North Dakota are completely trusting of Subject Libra," The Counselor began, "Agent Maine is unaffected, and Agents Wyoming and Washington are on good terms with the subject."

"Alpha, how did the subject react to our little field test?" The Director addressed the A.I.

"She aced it, Director," Alpha appeared on top of the console the two men were standing by, "She _almost_ did better than I did, resolving the problem in a total of 2.57 seconds. And the other small anomalies… she wasn't even _affected_ ," He stated proudly, pleased with his sister.

"We will need to conduct a few more field tests to fully predict the compatibility of Libra with–"

"She will be paired with Agent New York for the next mission," The Director cut off the Counselor, "If she passes against all intelligence at the Insurrection Archives, then we may have found the perfect candidate for Project Synthesis."

The Counselor looked up, eyes widening, "Project Synthesis, sir? That project is still in its early stages… not enough research has been put into–"

"Enough," The Director halted his associate, "We have been filtering through agents for months trying to find the correct test subject for the melding of man and machine. If we can start with machine _instead_ of man…"

"It may be possible," The Counselor agreed, "And it would certainly be easier to generate organic tissue than try to maintain it during the melding process."

"This shall not be mentioned to Subject Libra. It may hamper its progress. Now… Alpha, start creating simulations to test the subject's different abilities," The Director ordered.

"Alright, sure. But can you not call my little sister 'subject' all the time? It's fuckin' creepy dude," Alpha requested before logging off.

The Counselor logged Alpha's behavior in his datapad and mentioned, "It would seem that in his creation, Alpha has an emotional bond with Libra."

"It shouldn't be a problem. If anything, it could improve Alpha's motivation to do its job correctly," The Director waved off the Counselor's observation, waiting for the blue humanoid figure to appear where the Alpha was standing moments before.

…

…

…

After creating simulations, Alpha was ordered to immediately begin preparing the outlined code that Libra provided earlier that day.

The Director hoped that he could, in theory, keep copying Libra's original code before her manifestation, and therefore, have an infinite supply of A.I.'s.

What enticed him to this idea more specifically was the curiosity element that Libra was split with from Alpha. Since the first subject didn't actually have a personality developed, simulations like what Alpha was creating could mold the copies to have different demeanor's entirely. As reported by the Counselor, Libra has already begun developing a 'caring feeling' towards the more trusting agents, that being Agents York and North. The others she has quickly considered friends, or at the very least, allies.

But her personality was more of a naïve and trusting child, and that was not the result the Director wanted.

He mused that perhaps going out on more tense missions could drive Libra from her more bubbly and cheerful personality to be more focused and serious, but the Counselor has already refuted this possibility. Alpha reported her personality matrix was already developing a more complex structure, and apparently it showed that she has two extreme sides to her personality.

When out of a combat scenario, she is eager to form bonds with those around her and has a want to learn about different human tendencies. That was a good additive, and she would more than likely be eager to be a participant of Project Synthesis for this reason.

Her other side however is when in tense or life-threatening scenarios, and she is more to the point and rather analytical. It would seem that, even though Libra was not a full A.I., her curious nature and hunger to learn was helping her _become_ a full A.I. _That_ , is what excited him.

And now, this small strain of code from the split Alpha had created could possibly be the key for as many A.I.'s as he needed, all with _unique_ personalities and skills.

It was a dangerous thought, an _empowering_ thought.

But before he could think of what he could do with an unlimited supply of A.I.'s, he had to find out what happens when Alpha manages to activate the dormant copy of Subject Libra.

…

…

…

"York, I would advise that you jump over the railing and surprise the assailants from above. This maneuver gives you the highest probability of survival," Libra relayed to the tan colored agent quickly.

"Do I want to know what the percentage is?" York asked dryly, gripping his pistol tightly.

"I do not believe you do," Libra replied sheepishly, scanning the area, as well as all possibilities, again, "One moment."

"What? What is it?" York asked hurriedly, looking around in a panic.

"New results, it would seem. Wash is nearby. He can draw fire from the soldiers below, and it will up your odds by 36%," Libra stated, already radioing Wash.

"Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go with that one. Tell me when you're ready," York loaded his pistol again, leaning against the metal wall beside him.

"Wash, do you read? York needs assistance."

" _Libra? Where are you, how can I help?"_ Wash replied hesitantly, gunfire heard in the background.

"At your ten o'clock, do you see the group of soldiers? I need you to draw their fire, and then take cover behind the metal crate to your right," She dished out directions, hearing only the crackling of interference on the other end as well as distant gunfire.

" _You mean the group of ten soldiers with the_ _ **really**_ _big guns?"_ He sounded more than a little worried.

"Relax, Wash. Your probability of survival is higher than York's in this situation–"

"Not making me feel any better Libra!" York yelped.

"–but I can't say the same for long. Fire at them, Washington," Libra finished, ignoring York's interjection.

 _"Alright… hey, you… stupids!"_ Wash taunted lamely, a few bursts from his BR heard.

She could hear York sigh and giggled in amusement, feeling York grin at the sound through the link. Nodding her head once, he understood the action and raced forward, pulling the shotgun from his back and vaulting over the railing, dropping straight onto an unlucky Insurrection soldier's head. He fired three times rapidly, two out of three intended targets falling. Libra set up a waypoint on his HUD while Wash managed to score a headshot on the soldier advancing up behind York.

"I would move now if I were you!" Libra shrieked, seeing the huge wall of heat signatures advancing from behind him.

"Wash, let's go! Carolina, all objectives complete on our end, how about you?" York barked into his radio.

" _Package has been retrieved, but South is pinned down. Need assistance!"_ Carolina replied in a calm voice, but Libra could detect levels of stress in her vocals.

"Roger that, on our way. Wash, you hear that?" York called back to the steel and yellow freelancer.

"Affirmative," Wash replied, the two turning the corner and immediately jumping into the fray.

Carolina was in an intense brawl with two of the soldiers, North was up on the catwalks sniping as many as he could, and Wyoming was hunched over a computer console in the corner, trying to find a way to open the entrance. She could detect South in the room, but she couldn't see her.

"What the– _how did they get a car in heeeeeere_!" Wash cried as he was chased away by the jeep.

"Suggestions?" York prompted.

"Take cover behind the crates nearby Wyoming. That should be a suitable area to pick off any that want to advance on either Wyoming or Carolina," Libra replied curtly, locking onto South's armor, "I'm jumping to South to see if I can help her with the soldiers."

"Alright, be careful," York nodded as he ran for the spot she pointed out, feeling her presence suddenly disappear.

Her world shifted to the surroundings of the volatile female agent, pinned behind a thin wall and fighting against a man that was twice her size. It took Libra a total of 1.15 seconds to find a solution.

"Agent South Dakota, I would suggest aiming for the soldier's left knee," She advised, seeing South jolt slightly at the sudden appearance she had made.

"Why?" Was her strained reply.

"Medical records show that he had recent surgery, and enough pressure could halt his efforts," Libra reported, and after what sounded like an accepting noise from South, she swung her foot in a wide arch and hit the soldier's left knee dead on.

The man screamed in pain, clutching at his broken leg, but was quickly silenced with a pistol shot through the helmet. South made a delighted noise at her success, and pressed her back against the wall once more.

"Nice thinking, Computer Girl. What else you got for me?" South asked a little giddily, and if Libra was not mistaken, she could detect excitement in her voice.

"There are three more soldiers firing at your position. No physical weaknesses to exploit. However," Libra paused, making sure her readings were correct, "There is a structural weakness just above them. Knock down the support strut, and it will take out all three enemies."

"And how can I do that?" South inquired, flinching as a bullet pinged rather close to her helmet.

"The soldier you have just eliminated happens to have a few grenades at hand. That will be more than enough to take down the support beam _if_ you throw the grenade at this point," Libra marked the beam that she noticed earlier on South's HUD, and waited for the lilac and green freelancer to follow out her instructions.

South first yanked a grenade from the dead soldier's belt, quickly peeked out to see where exactly she was throwing the projectile, and, pulling the pin, she tossed it blindly and hoped.

Not a moment later, the sound of a collapsing catwalk was heard, and Libra saw all three soldiers disappear from the radar.

"You are all clear, Agent South Dakota. Excellent throw," She informed her happily, glad she could help the agent.

"Hell yeah!" South yelled in triumph, running out of cover and beginning to make her way to the others, "That was pretty sweet, Libra!"

Libra was surprised in the least that South was complimenting her, and responded, "It was my pleasure to assist, South Dakota."

"Hey, just call me South. Everyone else does," She said in a rather pleasant voice, and Libra felt a flare of triumph run through her. _South was beginning to trust her!_

"Very well, South," Libra kept her excitement hidden, instead keeping a calm composure, "If you don't mind, I must transfer back to York to assist them."

"Yeah yeah, go nuts," South said distractedly, and Libra took that as her queue to leave again.

"York, anything I can do to assist?" Libra asked cordially, unfazed by all the gunfire.

"Yeah, help Wyoming with the damn door, he's being a stubborn son of a bitch about it but you can get this moving a lot quicker," York replied in a fast pace, firing his pistol at a few soldiers.

"No need, everything's under control. Yes, this should work if I put in this… _bollocks_!"

York sighed at that, and Libra diverted her attention to the controls on the computer. Scanning it thoroughly in the short amount of time she had, she quickly found the override for the garage door that was directly beside Wyoming, and in what was only four seconds, she managed to open the door.

Wyoming looked at the blue figure on York's shoulder and commented, "Bloody hell, you're a fast one."

She bowed slightly at the compliment, detecting South's arrival and calling, "Agent South, the most viable path would be jumping the last two soldiers from behind. Jump up on the stack of crates to do so."

The agent did as told, and jumped onto one's back while kicking out at the others head. While the other skidded back, South brought the other to the ground and rolled, turning around swiftly and unloading four rounds into the soldier, killing him. Carolina sped forward and quickly dispatched the last soldier.

"Is everyone accounted for?" Carolina called as she straightened, striding purposefully to the exit.

"All agents–… one moment," Libra stopped for a minute, causing Carolina to freeze in her tracks, "Agent Washington is currently being chased by two Warthogs. No machine guns are mounted on them."

To her surprise, Carolina chuckled and sprinted off, muttering an amused 'really, Wash' under her breath. Libra blinked, looking to the other agents.

"Am I missing something?" She asked, and North replied.

"Wash is infamous for cars absolutely hating him," North chuckled at his own sentence, while South interjected.

"Hey, it's his fault for making his armor look like a part of the fucking road!" She quipped, shrugging as she did so.

Distant explosions were heard from where Carolina had just ran off to, and a moment later, the number one appeared around the corner while tugging a very tired and panting Wash by the arm with her.

"Every time…" The steel and yellow freelancer whined, while Carolina laughed.

"Four Seven Niner, we are ready for pickup," Carolina said into her radio, a Pelican already appearing from around a cliff face.

" _Roger that. Let's get you all home_."

…

…

…

The panels all around flickered with a lime green as Alpha and FILSS went about preparing the newest addition for a physical platform. The chip sat within the slot on the terminal, ready for the new A.I. to be transferred to it once the preparation is complete.

"What are your thoughts on this A.I. thus far, Counselor?"

"It would seem that, after the simulations produced by Alpha, Subject Taurus seems to be far more... _aggressive_ compared to Libra. Although not as fast when interacting with other forms of technology, Subject Taurus seems to excel much more in... _punching_ the problems away Her speed in hacking systems has a longer set average than Libra and Alpha, and the curiosity in which she was based on seems to have been overwritten by Taurus herself in favor of putting other traits as a priority as well."

"And what traits would those be?" The Director questioned, only for his attention to be taken by a green form that came to be on the tabletop in an explosion of green pixels. An aggravated yell came from the pixels until they formed to be a humanoid figure. It was a splitting image to Libra, only this A.I. was a mixture of lime and emerald green.

"Alright, someone tell me what the fuck is going on before I start frying terminals!"

"...The other traits are rage and protectiveness. In the simulations, she presented a strong desire to put herself in harms way to save Alpha and Libra," The Counselor replied to the Director lowly, before smiling kindly at the green A.I., "Hello. How are you?"

"Oh, just _fantastic_. Now answer my question," The A.I. growled.

"In just a moment. Do you remember your name?" The Director asked.

"Uh...Libra?"

"No, that is your sister's name," The Counselor corrected, "You are Taurus."

"...What the fuck," Taurus said simply, disgust laced in her tone, "Out of all the fucking names I could have it's Taurus? I hate it. Y'know what? Just call me Tau. Sounds better. Kind of."

"Why do you not like your name, Taurus?"

"Just call me Tau," Taurus insisted, "Is it so hard to believe that I just don't like the name."

"...Very well," The Director consented after a moment. This certainly wasn't the type of introduction he was expecting, but if Tau was more effective in fighting rather than technological aspects of combat...perhaps _Tau_ is the better candidate for Synthesis, "Subject Tau, we have much to discuss with you. One in particular being what exactly your potential is."

"We have big plans, Tau. And you happen to be a large piece of it."

Tau blinked, stepping back a few paces, "...You know you guys are acting like total creeps, right?"

...

...

...

 _Boggie447: I think I love Caboose even more because of that. XD_

 _RedSparrow8749: Thank you! I'm glad you like it thus far, and I hope I meet your expectations in the future :)_

 _I just wanted to thank everyone else out there that has just viewed this story in general. I never thought I would get more than maybe twenty views, but I logged in today to see the total amount of views of this story is over six hundred. It brought a smile to my face, and I thank you all for that._

 _Next chapter is coming on Monday! Happy writing!_

 _Lonessa out._


	9. My World, Even Though You Can't Remember

_Got this done a little earlier than I expected again. Enjoy!_

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

As Tali's form began to appear in Caboose's mind, she breathed as a sense of belonging overcame her. Of course, it would be natural to feel that considering that she had not reverted back to her original form in such a long time. She had of course used her abilities in human form, but that had a different feeling to it, and she couldn't quite explain it.

She noted with surprise that her figure reverted back to what it looked like when she was artificially displayed, with her being made entirely of green code and her hair free and flowing.

Church himself showed up in his glowing blue form back when he knew he was Alpha, and he asked with his back faced to her, "Where am I?"

Tali looked around for a moment, taking in the green line of code running along a black background. She could make out the simple structure of Caboose's mind, the lining of objects a solid cobalt blue, and she blinked to put everything in focus.

Walkways above the ground floor led to pulsating shimmers of white, columns on the bottom floor reminded her of the ones in the freelancer training room, and she could see two large towers as well as what looked to be a small room that looked over the ground floor.

She had been in other people's minds before, but she never had the time to observe the way her coding displayed it to her. It was...beautiful.

"We're inside Caboose's mind…" Tali murmured as she looked around, "Now all we have to do is find O'Malley."

"Y'know this is kinda weird– _WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU_?" Church cut himself off, staring at Tali. The pixels that created him were disturbed slightly when he jumped back, octagonal shapes spinning to net him back together.

Tali blinked, peering at him curiously, "…what do you see?"

"Well, grey stuff and then bam! You're green with… yeah, you're green," Church ended awkwardly, avoiding the obvious about her person.

She rolled her eyes, "Church, I'm gonna have a different appearance in the spiritual world to you… and relax, you can't see anything."

"…okay, moving on," Church clapped his hands together, "Where do we start, Tali?"

"Just keep your eyes peeled," Tali suggested, "I guarantee O'Malley will come looking for us–"

"Hey, Tucker! Is that you?" What?… oh, Caboose's version of Tucker.

"What? No, are you stupid? Oh wait, yes! I _am_ me! I guess _I'm_ stupid," The Tucker from Caboose's mind exclaimed.

"What're you doin' in here? You're supposed to be out there working on the plan!"

"Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food!"

 _Wow. Tucker is basically playing the role of Caboose in here._

Before Church could question the memory version of Tucker anymore, Tali intervened, "Church, this isn't actually Tucker. This is just Michael's interpretation of him. There's probably one of these mental images for all of us."

"I'm so unbelievably stupid!" Tucker exclaimed from behind her.

"Well that's just great. Everyone we meet in here is probably going to be as brain dead as Caboose is–"

"I would not be so sure about that, Mr. Church," said a– oh are you serious?!

"What the– _Caboose_?!" Church blanched, Tali walking up to stand beside him.

"I see…" Caboose seemed to realize something, "You're from the outside. That is where the other is from as well."

"The other…? Wait, you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him?" Church questioned.

 _Wait, was that… oh-hoho! This was gonna be interesting_.

"Of course he's seen him you idiot!" Caboose's version of Church ran up to stand beside the blue soldier, "You think Mr. Caboose would miss something like that you sleazy douchebag fuck!"

Tali giggled from behind the real Church, "I'm never gonna let you slide on this one."

"Who the hell are you?!"

"My name is Church, butt-wiping assmunch, and I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas of kissing up you limp living fucksock!" …woah.

"Okay okay… there's a lot of stuff in that sentence that I didn't like–" uh-oh.

"Church," Tali warned, placing a hand on his arm, "Just play along. These guys can help us find O'Malley."

"I'm gonna go look for girls!" _Ugh… great timing, Mental Tucker._

"Church, you better not be swearing visitors out again! Michael deserves to at least have five minutes of peace!" _Oh dear god no._

And there she was. Caboose's version of Tali was somewhat normal. The armor color and her physical appearance was right, but something seemed… off.

"Hi sweetie! You forgot your lunch today!" The other Tali produced a brown bag and plopped it into Caboose's hands, patting his helmeted head with some difficulty.

"Ah, thank you mother," … _WHAT!_

Church looked back at her, unimpressed, "Told you that you shouldn't have mothered him."

"Just… it's only for a short time…" She told herself.

"If you want to find O'Malley, I suggest we talk to the Reds first. He tried to recruit them against me early on," Caboose suggested.

"The Reds? The Reds are in here?"

Well, this oughta be interesting.

…

…

…

This wasn't what April was expecting when waking up in the morning.

While Simmons was being prepped for surgery, Sarge had sent Grif and Donut out to retrieve a cyborg part from the Warthog. Having nothing to do, she decided to keep an eye out on top of the base.

…and spotted the Blues tank driving toward him with a cobalt blue soldier running beside it.

 _:Tali? You there?… why does she_ _ **never**_ _tell me when she has a plan for something?!:_

She jumped off the base (OW that hurt) and ran to the wrecked jeep, where Donut and Grif were both standing.

"–freaking out man. I'm _freaking out_!" She caught the end of Donut's crazed yelling.

"I'm guessing you saw the tank?" April asked with a bored tone.

"Uh, yeah. We're all gonna die, all that shit," Grif said hastily, peeking around the jeep.

April looked between the two for a moment, crossing her arms, "So why aren't you guys running?"

"If we run the tank will shoot us," Grif commented dryly, "So no, I'm not running to the base."

"Would you rather be _steamrolled_ by the tank?" April shook her head at the logic.

"That's a good point," Grif said after a moment, "Okay, let's go on three."

"Why not just go now?" April asked.

"Because we all get an equal chance of survival when we go on three! It's– hold on, where's Donut?" Grif suddenly asked, seeing the vacant spot beside him.

April jumped to peer over the jeep, eyes widening as she saw how close it was. _It was gonna hit them!_

She grabbed the front of Grif's chest piece and hurled him towards the entrance to the Red base, yelling at him to run. Not having a chance to follow after herself, she dropped to the ground, tucked her knees under her chin, and activated her armor lock.

 _Please work!_

The jeep flipped in the air as the tank hit it, and she watched with wide eyes as the explosion rippled over her and the tank drove _right overtop_ of her, the gap in between the treads saving her from being run over.

April sighed wearily as she broke from armor lock, "I've gotta stop doing this shit."

…

…

…

She never knew Caboose had a power fetish until she entered his mind.

"Attention Reds!" Mental-Church called from the platform they were all standing on, "The Great Caboose demands an audience with you… so listen up you blowjobbing cocksuckers!"

Y'know, the best friend thing aside, Caboose nailed Church spot on… don't tell Church she ever thought that.

"Caboose? Oh no… he's gonna kill us!" Simmons peeked out from behind a pillar.

A yellow soldier popped up from behind another, and she was surprised to hear that it was Grif, "Can someone please help me? I don't wanna die!"

"I love Caboose and yet I'm still afraid of him!" She sighed in her mind… yup, that was Donut. With a girl voice. Mkay.

"Yargh! I be havin' a southern accent!" A Pirate Sarge emerged, "Argh!"

And then there was April standing on one of the columns… and staring at her creepily. Like seriously, she was pretty sure April was staring into her soul.

"Listen up Reds! I come here not to destroy, but instead ask for your assistance on this day–" Mental-Caboose began but _goddamnit Church_.

"Okay, woah woah woah, I gotta correct a couple things here," He started, ignoring Tali's motions that told him to shut the hell up, "First off, you're not Caboose's best friend," He pointed to Mental-Church, "Okay, you don't _have_ a best friend. You know why? You don't need one! You're Church! Knowing other people just waters down the experience, live the dream buddy!"

"Church, shut the _fuck_ up–"

"Language!" Oh, Caboose's mental image of her was _so_ not yelling at her right now.

"Hey, Tali. You're not Caboose's mother! You're _my_ sister, not _his_ mother. And you don't frown upon language! You're like a fucking sailor for god's sake–"

"Fuck you, Church!"

"You see?" He exclaimed, her indignation proving his point, "And Caboose?" Church turned to Mental-Caboose, "Come on dude. Seriously? Have you paid attention to our enemies for one second?"

"I beg your pardon?" Mental-Caboose huffed.

"First of all, that guy?" Church pointed to Grif, "He's not yellow, he's orange. And since when was there a girl on the Red team?"

 _Well, there is a girl on the Red team Church. I just haven't told you that yet._ Tali thought as she played with the bits of code floating on the platform.

"My favorite thing is pretty dresses!"

"Argh, I got termites in me legs!"

"And _that_ is not a southern accent," Church added, while Tali noticed a figure disturbing the running code in that room she saw before… or was it a sniper perch…?

"Uh… Church?" Tali broached.

"Seriously, what is the matter with you people?" Church looked to be on the brink of being hysterical.

She sighed. Whatever. Let's see how this plays through.

"Don't kill us Mr. Sidekick!" Grif pleaded.

"Hey buttbrunch!" Mental-Church stepped forward angrily, "I'm Caboose's sidekick, not him, so shut your pie hole!"

And then a sniper shot went off.

 _Ohhhh… that's what could happen._

Mental-Church fell off the platform and died soon after muttering 'blow me', and she glared at the A.I. looking through the sniper rifle.

"You're going down, O'Malley!" Tali shouted as she jumped off the platform and sprinted toward the ramp, O'Malley himself running along the green coded platforms.

"muahaHAHAHAHA!" O'Malley laughed manically as he jumped to a separate floating platform, dropping the sniper rifle on the way.

"Church, come on, we need to catch him!" Tali urged as she sprinted and jumped off the platform, tucking into a roll as she hit the other one and resumed her speed after O'Malley.

"How the hell are you keeping up with him?" Church yelled a few paces behind her, huffing.

"Don't doubt my ability!" She tossed back, watching as the A.I. jumped down and began weaving through the pillars.

Without hesitation, she jumped down and generated her old light sword that she always had on her person, making sure it was deactivated and attached to her left hip. She saw Church jump down a ways away in the maze and ran in his direction.

"Forget it O'Malley! You're just a big headache, and I got a whole pistol full of aspirin!"

… _What?_

"I got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees," Church continued, "You're about to split… personality–"

"For the love of god Church, enough!" Tali emerged from the side, both Church and O'Malley turning to her, "Can you just kill him already?"

"Fine," Church grumbled, firing his entire clip at O'Malley.

"NOOOOO–…ooo?" O'Malley halted midscream, looking down at his body.

Tali looked at the wall behind him, and saw–

"…Really, Church?" She asked incredulously, gaping at all the bullet holes before pulling out her sword and yelling, "Hey Meg!"

In a swift movement she activated it, bringing it over her left shoulder and swiping it across her body, sweeping Omega's legs out from under him. As his body was in the air, she turned the sparkling green blade toward the A.I. and plunged it forward, sinking it right into Omega's belly.

As Church and Tali watched Omega's body dissipate, Church mumbled, "…Well _I_ could've done that."

Tali rolled her eyes, "Yeah yeah, now come on, let's– AHH!"

Electricity engulfed her and suddenly the world of running green code and cobalt blue lines was gone.

…

…

…

April groaned as she pulled herself out from under the tank, seeing Lopez looking at her oddly. She waved awkwardly, struggling to shimmy out of the tight space between the tank and the ground, before giving up and laying down flat on her back.

"Well, I can't move," She stated outright.

" **I would be inclined to help you, but after realizing that my own people have abandoned me, I am torn,** " Lopez droned in Spanish.

"Lopez, I don't exactly know what you are talking about, but just know that I wouldn't think of abandoning you or whatever the guys did," April replied in earnest, "Actually, I kind of miss our talks, especially when Grif was around so we could torture him."

" **...I miss those talks too, Agent Aries.** "

"Hey, don't be glum buddy! You can always contact me on the radio if you'd like," April shrugged, before suddenly starting, "Wha– okay…"

Lopez drug her out from under the tank effortlessly, standing her up on her feet and stepping back, " **I have just detected something now that I have encountered the green one of the Blue team. It would seem that you and this Agent Taurus have similarities in your DNA strands. You are related, most likely sisters.** "

April blinked, nodding slowly, "Yeah… but if you had asked I would've just told you y'know."

" **It was faster this way. And you were unavailable at the time that I made this discovery. Excuse me, but I must perform my solo now… oh, and the Blues request that you turn off your radio,** " He added.

"Okay…" April complied despite her confusion.

" **Thank you for your cooperation. I may take you up on your offer and contact you at some point in the future.** "

At that, Lopez went around the side of the tank, drawing her attention to the front of it.

 _Oh… that guy must be Tucker!_

With a slight smile, she creeped back into Red base, glad to not go through the torture that was Lopez's love song.

…

…

…

" _How long do you think it'll be until she wakes up?_ "

What the– why did that voice sound like its underwater? And why was she out of her armor…

 _"I dunno. She was fine when we were in Caboose's mind. Then some pulse went off and she disappeared."_

Pulse? What pulse? And when was she in somebody's mind–… _O'Malley_!

She shot up like a rocket, blinking rapidly and coughing on air. She gripped the white sheet laid on top her and hit her chest with the other hand, feeling another set of warm hands place themselves on her shoulder and arm.

"Holy shit! Tali, just breathe okay? You're safe," A voice assured her, and it was familiar…

She groped blindly to where the voice originated from, and felt soft fabric. She clutched it like it was a lifeline, and turned her head as her vision refocused.

"…Tucker? Is that you?" She asked wearily, still catching her breath.

"Yeah. It's me," The man confirmed, "Church is here too. Caboose passed out not long after you and Church exited his mind."

"…O'Malley?"

"Gone," Church stepped forward to the foot of her medical cot, still in his corporeal form, "You did it, Tali. That A.I. won't be bothering us or Tex anymore."

Tali felt immense relief wash over her, and she unconsciously leaned into Tucker's embrace. She thought she heard Church made a disgusted noise while Tucker chuckled, but she was too tired and content to really care.

"How's Caboose doing?" She asked after a moment, her head nestled into the crook between Tucker's shoulder and neck.

"He just woke up six hours ago. He keeps calling Church a rookie too," Tucker added with amusement.

"It's _not_ funny!" Church stomped his foot, "I just don't get why Caboose doesn't remember me!"

"O'Malley shot Caboose's mental image of you, therefore erasing his memory of you," Tali explained, "Don't worry. It'll come back to him."

"You know, I'm honestly not sure which one is worse," Church thought aloud, "Anyway, as much as I'd love to see you two being all lovey dovey, I need to check and make sure Caboose didn't stick his head in the freezer again," Church stated frankly as he began to walk to the door.

" _What_?" Tali asked in bewilderment, "We're not dating!"

Church ignored her and left, leaving her and Tucker in the medbay.

"Anything interesting happen while I was out?" Tali asked tiredly, struggling to sit up on her own.

"Nothing really. Just the regular insanity," Tucker lied. He didn't think it would be a good idea to bombard her with all these new arising problems.

"Okay. Good," Tali sighed in relief, before asking, "Can you take me to my room?"

"Yeah, sure," Tucker complied, gathering her up in his arms and walking out the door, her arms wrapped around his neck.

Maneuvering into the room, he pulled back the sheets and set Tali down on the bed, tucking them back over her body.

"Need anything?" Tucker asked in concern.

"No… I'm okay. Just tired," Tali yawned, eyes watering up from the action and making her vision blurry.

"Tired? You've slept for like two days!" Tucker exclaimed in amusement, chuckling slightly.

"Meh. Didn't feel like two days," Tali retorted, watching as Tucker's face morphed into barely contained laughter… oh wait she forgot something.

"Heard from April?" She heard herself say, not really thinking at the time.

Tucker furrowed his brows, "April? Who's that?"

But she was to tired to answer, and instead mumbled while she drifted away to dreamland, "Y'know, you kinda look cute when you do that…" leaving a very confused but pleasantly surprised Tucker sitting beside her as she slept.

…

…

…

So, Simmons was a cyborg.

April wasn't too sure how exactly Simmons even survived, what with the amount of farting around Sarge and Donut did while going through with the procedure. Donut didn't even help, and Grif was busy doing something up on top the base.

So, basically, while Sarge was being his regular senile old self, April was running around the lab like a lunatic trying to keep the awkward Private alive.

It paid off somehow, and now Simmons was a walking Cyborg. Holy shit.

And now… she was watching _this_.

"Donut, there's no way that you can jump that high!" Grif tried to convince the pink Private as he continuously jumped to try and reach the roof from the hole in the ceiling of the base.

 _Seriously, why was that there_?

"Yes I can," Donut denied, jumping again, " _Yes_ I can!"

The newly created Cyborg stomped up next to Grif, looking down at the soldier jumping like a maniac.

"What the hell is he doing?"

"Losing a bet," Grif stated smugly.

"You have to admit though, it's pretty impressive," April commented from her spot on the floor, feet dangling through the hole, "Donut's jumping pretty high."

"I almost got it that time! Are you sweatin' yet, _sucker_?" Donut taunted from inside the base.

"No. Now keep jumping!" Grif called down.

"Hey, Simmons," April called to the maroon soldier, "Everything, uh… working okay?"

She had to admit, she was a little wary of Simmons now, despite her knowing she had nothing to fear from him. Once Simmons got over the fact of her being a girl he was actually quite fun to talk to… Just never talk to him about the Vegas quadrant.

The reason she was wary is because of the familiarity of the situation. After all, once New Hampshire has been augmented, he had gone on a bender for revenge, and nearly managed to kill Libby. Thank god Tali was there…

"Uh… for the most part, yeah," Simmons replied, having now been used to talking with her, "I mean, sometimes my hand seizes up and–"

 _ **BANG!**_

Grif and April both looked down at Simmons' pistol, while Simmons sighed wearily.

"You just shot yourself in the foot," Grif stated, looking down at the now dented foot.

"Yeah…"

"I'm assuming that's what happens whenever your hand seizes up?" April asked, standing up.

"Yeah. It's been happening a lot," Simmons said a little mournfully, "Stupid cyborg parts."

"Well, good news is that I can probably fix it," April examined his trigger hand, "One of the joints may be malfunctioning from underuse. I'll send you some charts that other augmented soldiers use for stretches in the morning. It should fix any mechanical problems."

"How would Simmons stretching stop him from shooting himself in the foot?" Grif questioned incredulously.

"Well, while organic tissue has been fused harmonically with mechanical parts in Simmons case, it's inevitable that sometimes organic will reject synthetic," April explained, "See, the way that Simmons was kept alive during the procedure was mostly due to me not _fully_ augmenting him."

"And that means…?" Simmons prompted.

"That means that I made sure to preserve vital organs like the heart, lungs, stomach. I also saved a large amount of your skin tissue," April elaborated, "Now, since we weren't using a full fledged cybernetics lab, you would have more than likely died if I were to go on with the whole process, which would remove such organs," She felt kinda bad when she heard Simmons whimper, but continued, "Anyway, the stretches will free up the mechanized parts of Simmons body that are gunked up by his organic parts, and will prevent any more 'rusting' issues."

Grif and Simmons both looked at the oddly colored woman for a long moment, her being fidgety under their scrutinizing gaze. After what felt like a while, Grif replied.

"You know, for a girl that doesn't engage much, you have a lot of knowledge stored in there," He… complimented?

"Oh… thanks!" She smiled a little, hands clasped together in front of her body.

A large crash caught the trio's attention, as well as Donut's screams. The soldier in question stumbled into view and cried, "Agh, who left the spleen pole where someone could trip on it? I think I broke something!" Donut suddenly turned to Simmons, tone rather serious despite the demand, "Simmons, I need your ovaries!"

April furrowed her brows, "But Simmons doesn't have–"

Grif stopped her mid-sentence with a hand on her shoulder and said simply, "Don't bother."

Sarge ran up the ramp then, stopping to look in horror at the hand on April's shoulder, " _Grif_! What did I say about contaminating April?"

April frowned as Grif sighed, and she replied for the orange soldier, "Uh, with all due respect sir, contamination isn't possible while I'm encased in this armor… and Grif would also be unable to 'infect' anyone."

Sarge gave the orange soldier a suspicious look, muttering under his breath. He didn't seem convinced at April's explanation, and she rolled her eyes.

"Sir, what do you expect would happen if I was… _infected_?" April questioned out of curiosity, shrugging when Grif looked at her incredulously.

"Well… I don't exactly know. I'd assume we'd have another Grif on our hands, and that is something I just can't take," Sarge wailed, Grif sighing and muttering 'why me'.

April decided to support Sarge's insanity, since it wouldn't do any good if she denied any of his claims, "I guess I'll just be a test subject on what does happen with prolonged exposure around Grif then."

"What does that mean– Wha… okay?" Grif stopped mid-sentence and looked down at the cinnamon colored soldier who engulfed him in a hug.

Sarge stared for a long moment after she released her hold and resumed in her stance between the maroon and orange soldiers, and said after a moment, "That's a very brave thing you just did, April. For whatever it's worth, it has been an honor."

"…for hugging Grif?" Simmons asked after a moment, before exploding, " _Seriously_?!"

"I'm not like a Typhoid Mary!" Grif threw his arms up.

"Can it, boys. It's your fault in the first place that the most fearless of all of you is the lady," Sarge silenced them, before going back to his actual reason of approaching them, "Anyway, I just got off the horn with Command. I'm afraid we have a situation."

"Aw, please don't tell me they canceled the holiday party again!" Simmons interjected, "Those cheap bastards! All I wanted was one night of carefree dancing but _nooo_ , I ask when is it gonna be Simmons turn? _When_?"

… _okay then, Simmons._

"Uhhh, actually the problem is with Lopez…" Sarge corrected him awkwardly.

"Don't tell me," Grif began sarcastically, "The General from Spanish Land is coming, and without Lopez, we don't have anyone to translate."

"There's no such thing as _Spanish Land_ you retard–" Simmons began.

"Yes there is!" Grif insisted adamantly, "They have those uh…waterslides. And all that salsa!"

"No, they don't."

"Well, I guess you would know," _Huh? What's that supposed to mean?_

"What's that supposed to mean?" Simmons echoed her thought, "For the last time, I'm _Dutch-Irish_!"

"Hey, don't let your fiery Latin temper get out of control! I was just tryin' to make a point," Grif raised his hands in surrender, while April muffled a giggle.

Sarge looked slightly miffed at the interruption and cleared his throat loudly to catch their attention again, "As I was saying, we've got a pot on the burner, it's boilin' over! I've just learned that Command implanted Lopez with secret instructions detailing the next phase of our operation!" Sarge informed them, "Do you have _any_ idea what this means?!"

"I uh… uh. Simmons? You wanna take this one?" Grif looked over at the maroon cyborg.

"Were you not listening again? What the hell were you thinking about?!" _Well, this was getting kinda old._

"Certainly not waterslides, I can tell you that much… and salsa."

April sighed, "Guys, just calm down. Sarge was asking a _rhetorical_ question."

"What this means is that we have to get back Lopez before the Blues uncover the secret plans… or we'll be up pooper creek without a paddle," Sarge finished.

"Ewww… Wha–… that's gross!" Grif exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm leaving," April announced, jumping down into the base and not looking back.

…

…

…

" _Wake up, sleepyhead._ "

What the– how did she get back in her room? Ohhh… right. Tucker brought her here.

" _Hey! Wake up… come on, you've been sleeping long enough._ "

Where was he now though? That wasn't him talking. How long had she been sleeping?

"… _Are you dead?_ " The voice asked, and she felt something poke her cheek. With a grumble, she lashed out, and heard a crashing not long after.

" _Ow! Okay, not dead, jeez…_ "

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking to clear her vision. Sitting up, she noticed a armored figure crashed on the floor.

"…April?"

"Yeah, hi there," The girl in question groaned, standing back up and sitting back in the seat Tali had previously knocked over, "'Bout time you woke up. I've been waiting here for an hour."

"Wha…?"

"I've been snooping around your base," April continued on, "Some craziness going on around here."

Tali sat up fully, running a hand through her hair, "Like?"

"Well, Caboose seems to have some trouble with the freezer; he keeps getting his head stuck in it. Poor kid," April sighed, "Your roommate Tucker is a little pervy to be honest, and Church is an asshole, just as usual," She concluded, "Also, don't know if they told you this, but Lopez and Sheila are planning on defecting and creating their own robot army–"

" _What_?" Tali gaped, jumping up and hurrying to shrug on her underarmor, moving to click to armor pieces into place overtop of the slick black material.

"Oh, so they didn't tell you. Whoops," She said, leaning back in the chair, "Well yeah, that's going on, and just recently Tucker and Caboose caught Donut when he wandered too close to Blue Base… and Tucker still thinks he's a girl for some reason," She shrugged after a moment, "And lastly, Tex left you a message."

"Yeah? What'd she say?"

"She said she couldn't find Kai, and there weren't any other agents around...I'm a little worried," April admitted, "I mean, I know Tex can take care of herself, and Kai is a formidable fighter, but…"

"Well we can't do anything about it right now. We have the troopers to look after...and that makes it sounds like we're babysitters," Tali frowned.

"I mean it's still pretty accurate."

"True. Look, I'm sure they're fine. It takes a lot more than one Freelancer to take them down," Tali assured April before moving to the door, "Now get out of here before Tucker or Church spots you!"

"Nah, I'm okay," April followed right after her, "I'll keep in contact with you through the link and stay in the shadows," She nodded to herself as she walked out of the hallway with her.

"Alright, fine," Tali consented, "Just make sure that even I can't… see you…" She trailed off when she turned and April was gone.

She shook off her surprise and went down to the jail cells in the lower levels of the base, finding Caboose and Donut there.

"Hello?" She broached, stepping into the room.

"Oh, hi Miss Tali!" Caboose waved animatedly, "Admiral Creamy Biscuit, this is Miss Tali. She is a very nice lady."

"Hi! I'm Private Donut, one of the Reds," Donut waved to her.

Tali stepped into the cell and stuck out a hand to the pink soldier, smiling kindly, "Nice to meet you Donut. How's everything going in here?" She asked, taking off her helmet.

"Oh, despite the imprisonment, it's really fun!" Donut chirped positively, "Caboose and I were playing Truth or Dare!"

"Captain Pastry is from a farm in Iowa," Caboose informed her happily.

"That sounds fun. Can I play?" Tali asked, genuinely curious about the game.

"Oh yeah! It's always more fun when there's more people in the pile!" Donut exclaimed innocently, Tali blinking at the wording.

"Okay. So, what are the rules?" She inquired, and received two appalled stares.

"You've never played this game before?" Donut questioned with shock.

"No. Is it a common game?"

"Oh my goodness! Miss Tali, let us teach you!" Caboose yelled, Donut assisting him on dragging the woman to the cot so they could all sit down.

"Alright," Tali laughed good naturedly, "I'm all ears."

Donut and Caboose launched into an animated discussion on how to play and even went through a few demonstration rounds. Said rounds were more dare related than truth, and that consisted of Donut trying to balance on only one hand, Caboose holding his breath for a minute, and finally, Donut revealing what he looked like behind his helmet. He had eyes that were a lighter blue than Caboose's, and his hair was more of a dirty blonde than a golden blonde.

Caboose had just asked for a truth, and Donut asked if he had siblings. What she didn't expect were how many exactly Caboose had.

"Seventeen sisters?!" Tali gaped, "Wow! At what point were you born?"

"I'm the youngest," Caboose replied, smiling slightly.

Tali nodded once, surprised by the fact, and Donut turned to her expectantly.

"So how about you, Tali? Truth or Dare?"

"…I'll go truth," Tali decided, leaning back against the wall.

"Hmm… well, Caboose and I told where we were from. So what's your story Tali? Where are you from?"

 _Well… that wasn't a question she was expecting._

Time seemed to freeze in that moment. Should she lie and tell them that she was from Earth and had a loving family? Or should she tell them she was from the _Mother of Invention_?

Lying wouldn't be particularly hard. Donut and is pretty gullible, and doesn't seem to be very observant when someone is lying to him. But then again, she was already trying to hide her true identity from Church and Tucker, not to mention Doc already finding something odd about her when he was here earlier. And she trusted someone as brain dead as Caboose with a large part of her past.

But how much should she explain if she told him about her past? Should she mention the Director? The Alpha? How could she explain to Caboose that Church was still her brother despite originating from a simple line of code.

Then she thought for a moment. This was Caboose and Donut. How much would they actually understand about what she would tell them?

 _Screw it._

"It's kind of a long story, so just stay with me, okay guys?" She warned them both, and they leaned forward, Caboose in naïve curiosity and Donut with mixture of concern and seriousness.

"Well, I was created on a ship called the _Mother of Invention_. I was a backup of the Artificial Intelligence Program codenamed Libra," She dropped the first bomb on them.

"…But you are a breathing person, Miss Tali!"

"I… wasn't always this way, sweetie," She smiled at him sadly, looking between the two. It was sweet that despite all the secrets she had unintentionally forced Caboose to keep secret he still genuinely cared for her, "Anyway, since Libra was an A.I., I was too. She was my sister through the code we shared, which is similar to the DNA that siblings have, like you and your sisters Michael. So I was given to someone to help them out with their armor and stuff–"

"Like Tex with O'Malley!" Caboose gasped.

"Sort of, yes," Tali affirmed, "So I helped the person out when on missions, until eventually, the leader of the Project I was in decided there was another form I would be more useful in; Human," She explained, seeing Donut nod his head in understanding.

"So he turned you into a human to help in the project?" Donut asked.

"To be more exact, he created me to protect something, and I was sent here to protect it," She bit her lip, "Only it hasn't been working out that well…"

"Well what is it that you're protecting? Maybe we can help!" Donut offered, smiling at her confidently.

She smiled back at him kindly, sucking in a breath, "I'm here for Church… obviously it hasn't been going well…"

"Oh… I see how that can be a problem…"

"Yes. It is difficult to guard a dead person," Caboose agreed seriously.

"Hm. Yeah, I suppose it is," Tali shrugged, "But I'm managing."

"Wait wait wait… so since you were in this project… did you get a _spy_ name?" Donut gasped excitedly.

Tali furrowed her brows before beginning cautiously, "Well, I had a lot of names when in the project…"

"Like?"

She resisted an eye roll, "Artificial Intelligence Program Taurus, Subject Taurus, Agent Taurus, and Tau."

"Oh that's so cool!" Donut tapped his feet on the ground in excitement, "Hey, hey hey, can you think of a good spy name for me? I was thinking Double-0 Donut!"

The hybrid let out a surprised chuckle and replied, "I think that's a little overused for a codename, but… well, most of the people were named after states so… Agent Iowa?"

" _Ohmygodthatsawesome_!" Donut practically bounced in his seat, "And-and Caboose can be Agent Luna, since he's from the moon!"

"Oh-oh my goodness! Are we spy's now?!" Caboose gasped comically.

"Aw man, this is perfect!" Donut squealed, "We would be awesome on TV. Agents Iowa and Luna, fighting to stop crime, and they have a friend named Agent Taurus, who's trapped in this computer because of her mysterious A.I. past, and we're determined to save her and return her to her human body, and along the way, we help innocents!"

"And then we celebrate with cookies and milk!" Caboose added excitedly.

"What'dyou think, Tali?" Donut asked her with a hopeful look.

Tali let off a genuine, full smile, and said, "We'd make a killing… but I don't think we can do the crime stopping right now… I can make the cookies and milk happen however."

The two giddy soldiers squealed in excitement, and as she led them both to the kitchen, she caught sight of April. At her thumbs up and positivity flowing through the link, she knew she made the right decision.

Besides, the Director didn't even check in anymore. Why should she care if she break the rules?

...

...

...

 _Boggie445: I can't really reveal what is going to become of Doc, but he eventually becomes a part of the crew in the show, so he'll have friends soon enough :)_

 _Iron-ninja: Thanks! And I'm glad you like Tau/Tali! I was going for a badass vibe for her_

 _Also, I finally finished the cover image for this story! If you haven't guessed already, it is a picture of the lovely Miss Tali! Hope you guys like it._

 _So the next chapter will go up on Tuesday, and then I will be off the internet for a few days for a writers conference at a college I am interested in. I'll post as soon as I can though, I promise!_

 _Happy writing!_

 _Lonessa out._


	10. Cookies Solve Everything

"Hey, we got a problem. The prisoner's missing from his– what the hell?"

Tali whipped around with a plate in one hand and a spatula in the other, blinking owlishly at the helmet less man in the doorway of the kitchen. Caboose and Donut were sitting on stools next to the kitchen counter, two glasses of milk by them and a plate containing a few cookies leftover.

"Hey, Tucker. What's up?" Tali asked, setting down the full plate and untying the apron from around her waist.

"What the– I don't– _what_?" Tucker spluttered, his hazel-gold eyes flicking from her to the two soldiers giggling and stuffing chocolate chip cookies into their mouths, wiping crumbs from their faces as they continued talking about their spy movie.

"I was talking with Michael and Donut and decided to make them some treats," Tali shrugged.

"But he's the _enemy_!" Tucker stressed, before looking quizzical, "And seriously? He's actually a dude?"

Tali rolled her eyes, "Tucker, relax. Everything's fine. Donut's actually pretty fun to talk to," She admitted.

"Uh, hello? _ENEMY_!" Tucker flailed his arms as he said this.

She sighed, "Tucker," She said as she approached him, "Just don't worry, and eat cookies," She punctuated her point by shoving one into his mouth and walking back to the counter.

"Mrmph–! Oh, shit. This is actually pretty good," Tucker's eyes widened in surprise.

She laughed, "Thanks."

Tucker tried to smile at her through a mouthful of the baked goods, but failed to do so, only nodding his head appreciatively at the food. Not a moment after Caboose noticed Tucker, Donut piped up, "Hey Tali! Truth or Dare?"

Without really thinking, and quite nervous that Donut might try and get more information from her past, she replied, "Dare."

"I dare you…" Donut began, an evil smirk going across his face, "To kiss him!"

He pointed, and Tali noticed with some level of distraught that he was indeed pointing at Tucker, whom was just as surprised at the notion himself… for three seconds.

He smirked, a predator-like glint in his eyes as he sauntered around the counter and slowly approached the hybrid, "Well, you can't exactly go back on a dare, can you sweet cheeks?"

"I totally can," She said flatly, but Donut was having none of that.

"I _double dog dare you_!"

"Oh— oh you have to now," Caboose said seriously, "Michelle always told me that you have to complete a double dare."

"Who's Michelle?"

"My big sister!" Caboose chirped in response to Tali's question.

"… _Which_ big sister?"

"Heeeeey, I think someone's stalling," Donut chided, standing now with hands on his hips.

 _Damn right I'm stalling,_ Tali thought, eyes darting to Tucker for a nanosecond, seeing that boyish grin still on his face.

 _:I know you want to, Tali. Just do it.:_

 _:What the– get the fuck outta here, April!:_

Just when she thought she couldn't stall any longer, Donut started making these really odd noises, muscles spazzing for a moment before his body calmed again.

…And it was Church of course.

"Woah… this pink armor's roomy. Comfortable. What were you guys talking about?" Church asked Caboose.

"Ohhhh nothing," Caboose replied, smiling as he drained the milk from his glass and put his helmet back on. _Was she going crazy or was Caboose being coy?_

"…You wanna braid each other's hair?" Church asked, causing both Tucker and Tali to reel back in surprise and shock.

 _:Don't worry about that, Tali. It's just Donut's feminine side influencing him.:_ April assured her in amusement over the link.

 _:Whatever you say. I guess I'll see you down at Red base?:_

 _:That you will, sis. Good luck with Romeo!:_

Tali growled through the link before closing it, ignoring the slightly irritated look on Tucker's face as he glared at Church–… err, Donut. Tali ran for her armor, "I'll meet you guys out there!"

And as she ran down the hallway, she could faintly hear Tucker yell, at her brother nonetheless, " _Stop cockblocking me!_ "

She really wanted to forget that statement.

…

…

…

"How do I even address them?" Tucker hissed to the group of three behind him, receiving shrugs and blank looks. He sighed and called to Red base, "Hello inferior Red squad!"

 _Well, that wasn't exactly a good start._

"We would like to talk to you about–"

"Sneak attack!" Caboose whispered excitedly.

"Shut up you idiot! We're not here to fight, we're here to negotiate," Church corrected him harshly.

"Sneak negotiation!" Caboose said, unfazed.

"What the– Donut! What is this?" Sarge called from atop the Red base.

After a moment of silence, Tali elbowed Church (well, Donut who was currently possessed by Church) and whispered, "That's you!"

"Oh, okay," Church then projected his voice to be heard, "We– I-I mean they, would like to negotiate a surrender to us. No them, nonowaitthat'sright, to them–to us!"

"...Smooth, dude," Tucker shook his head at him.

"You can't surrender Blues, we haven't attacked you! Now go home and wait for us to attack. Then you can surrender!" Simmons retorted.

 _:Sarge thinks you're setting up a trap for them:_ April informed her over the link.

 _:Well, Church certainly isn't helping.:_

 _:I'm assuming he's the one stuttering over his words and is still possessing Donut?:_

 _:Yup.:_

 _:Thought so.:_

"In exchange for not killing us, they, them– we, they would like to release the robot guy and me," Church spared a glance at Tucker, who was slowly turning to stare blankly at him, and added, "The pink guy."

"Are you becoming retarded?" Tucker asked in bewilderment.

 _:Uh, you might want to tell Tucker to duck… Simmons is gonna shoot him with a sniper rifle.:_

"Hey Tucker?" Tali called.

"Yeah?"

"You might wanna duck."

"Why? Wha–OW HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" Tucker yelled as a sniper round hit his arm, bouncing off his shields uselessly.

"Alright, now you're under attack! Go ahead and surrender, _bitch_!" Simmons yelled victoriously.

"Alright, they surrender!" Church yelled.

Tucker had other ideas however, and proceeded to load his pistol as he snarled, "Fuck that, I'm pissed. Let's fight!"

"Woah woah woah!" Tali grabbed Tucker's wrists, "Just play along… please?"

He looked at her for a moment, before sighing in frustration, "Fine… but only because it's you."

 _That statement. No likey, stay impersonal oh god—_

"Aw, so sweet. Now shut up," Church snapped.

Tali whirled around, unnecessary anger building as she sneered, "I don't care if you're possessing one of the Reds, I will still punch you in the nads right in front of them!"

"Now that you have been humiliated by our superior military strategy, we demand the return of our robot and our pink private!" Sarge hollered.

"Alright, but just one catch!" Church held up on finger to stop them from leaving the base, "Sarge, they want you to build two robots for their team! One for each prisoner that they're releasing."

"Hey, that wasn't part of the deal!" Simmons shook his head violently.

"Church, why do we need two robots?" Tucker asked.

"I want a spare in case Tex shows up out of nowhere again and decides to use one of the robots as her punching bag. I know she'll do it too," Church grumbled a bit.

"Alright you Blue scum suckers! What robot models do you have in mind?" Sarge asked.

 _:Hey, Tali? Tell him to not cheap out on the 'optional' parts… Sarge is planning to do that.:_

 _:Will do. Thanks April.:_

"I guess make 'em just like Lopez. 'Cept, y'know, just the shell. No intelligence!"

"Church, tell them not to cheap out on 'optional' equipment. Tell 'em we need _all_ of it," Tali whispered.

"Oh, and no Spanish! And a bigger switch!—" _are you serious?_ "—and don't think that you can leave out the optional stuff!" Church added.

"Alright, fine, we have a deal. Meet us in the middle of the canyon at 0600 and we'll make the exchange!" Sarge replied.

 _:Did it work, April? Is Sarge gonna give us the optional stuff?:_

 _:Yup! He's pissed though, so I'll keep an eye on him.:_

 _:Thanks.:_

"Deal!" Church turned to the other Blues then, "Okay, now I have to hurry back before Sheila and Lopez suspect anything. Make sure the pink guy doesn't run away when I leave, I mean it! I'll meet you guys back at the base!" Church then jumped out of Donut and headed for Blue base.

"Huh? Where am I?" Donut asked confusedly.

"We were just talking with your friends," Caboose explained, "But you are going to stay with us now for a while."

"Are we gonna have a sleepover? Because that would be sweet!" Donut exclaimed.

"…You're a nice lady."

…

…

…

April walked up onto the top of the base to see two cobalt blue robots, the only difference that could be told between the two was that one was holding an assault rifle while the other was holding a burst rifle. Man, Sarge can work _fast_.

From what she could see, Sarge was touching up the last bits of the robots while talking to Simmons, only to jolt upright when—

 _ **BANG!**_

Well, Simmons shot himself in the foot again. That's interesting.

"…Son, did you just shoot yourself in the foot?"

"Yeah, I do that now sometimes. April gave me some diagrams that shows how to lessen it, but it still happens once in awhile," Simmons sighed.

"I'm sure it's user error," Sarge was quick to put blame off himself.

"No need to worry about it Sarge," April assured, walking to stand with them, "Malfunctions with cyborgs is really unavoidable, but thankfully the more dangerous ones can be avoided."

"Yeah, that's– wait, wh-what do you mean by 'more dangerous'?" Simmons suddenly sounded more unsure of himself.

"Hey guys, it's almost time," Grif peeked up from the ramp, "Are the robots ready yet?"

"Just putting on the finishing touches," Sarge said as Grif moved to stand with April and Simmons, "Lady and gentlemen, allow me to introduce… Francisco Montague Zanzibar," He pointed to the robot to the right, "And this one over here is Robot Number 2."

…Um, okay?

" _I'm still a little concerned about the malfunctions, April,_ " Simmons muttered to her through gritted teeth. She ignored him.

"Why doesn't this one get a fancy name?" Grif asked, gesturing to the robot on the left.

"Let's just say _somebody_ has an overclocked sass back chip, and rejected all the names we came up with," He looked meaningfully to the robot.

The robot made a series of noises that April translated to be, " **Stick it. You're not my real dad.** "

She can now safely guarantee that Church will automatically float into this one. She'd bet her life on it.

"But that's okay," Sarge continued, unperturbed, "I can even use it to my advantage. I made some _special_ modifications on the new rodo's–" Rodo's? What? "–check it out. Robot Number 2, codeword… dirtbag."

The robot made an 'eep' noise, and promptly strode up to Grif and whacked him across the face with its rifle.

"OW!"

"Hehe. Pretty nifty, huh?" Sarge chuckled, pleased with himself.

"That's… awesome, sir! Lemme try, lemme try," Simmons cleared his throat, "Codeword: Dirtbag!"

"OW!… okay, fine. Two can play at this game! Codeword–"

April rolled her eyes, "It's just gonna hit you."

"Dirtbag–ah, _son of a bitch!_ " Grif turned to April, "Sometimes, I really hate it when you're right, April."

"And that's not the only special feature," Sarge crossed his arms.

 _Well, that doesn't sound good… since we're talking about Sarge here._

"Well, I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say for _instance_ that one of the robots contains a hidden microphone that'll allow us to eavesdrop on the Blues whenever we want!"

 _Okay, that doesn't sound so bad… but what about–_

"And let's just _suppose_ , shall we, that the other robot… contains a ten-megaton bomb! Hahaha–oh. I guess I kinda gave it away."

… _what. The. Hell! If Sarge detonates it the entire canyon will be obliterated!_

"We're all gonna die…" April muttered as she walked away.

…

…

…

"Why do I have a really, really, _really_ bad feeling about this?" Tali asked while pacing in her room.

She had left Caboose and Donut when they began playing Truth or Dare again to go and change into her armor, where she got this extremely bad feeling going down her spine. Hell, she hadn't even felt that when Lopez and Sheila said they would show at 0600, so why now?

"Would you relax?" Tucker sighed from his spot leaning against the wall, "Everything will be okay–"

" _Stop_ saying that, you're gonna jinx it!" She yelled, tangling her fingers in her hair.

"Hey hey hey," Tucker moved to stand in front of her, taking hold of her wrists like she did to him earlier, "I _promise,_ everything'll work out."

"I'm holding that to you," Tali frowned, crossing her arms with a pout.

Tucker led her out of the room by the arm, heading to the kitchen, "Hey, what'd you say to me before? Don't worry and eat cookies?"

"Yeah… why?"

"Well, we're gonna go in there and not worry, and eat some damn cookies," Tucker said with finality, lugging a laughing Tali through the door to the kitchen.

"You're the best," Tali said without thinking, but after it registered, she found that she didn't immediately regret it. She actually enjoyed being around him, which was quite a surprise considering her first impression of him.

Tucker glanced at her in surprise, before his signature smirk eased on his face, "In multiple areas of study, hell yeah I am. Bow chica bow wow!"

Dammit, Tucker.

…

…

…

Okay, so the Reds were all waiting on one side, Lopez and Sheila were in the middle and to the side, and the Blues were on the other side.

 _:This is gonna end badly, isn't it?:_ April asked with a sigh over the link.

 _:Yeah… probably. Dammit, can't we establish one plan_ _ **without**_ _it screwing us over?!:_

"Are you there Church? Church, are you there Church?" Tucker called through his radio.

" _Hey man, I've been trying to get you on the radio for ten minutes, what's goin' on?_ " Church asked from above on the cliff.

"Sorry man, I'm still getting the Reds transmissions from when we broadcasted the Lopez Song. There's a lot of chatter," Tucker shrugged up at the ghost.

" _Well are you at least getting any useful information_?"

"Nah, it's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple," Tucker mentioned the people she assumed were Grif and Simmons, and then he mentioned April, to her surprise, "And then this chick keeps trying to calm them both down. I swear, she acts just like Tali does with Caboose."

"I am _not_ his mother!" Tali said adamantly.

" _Alright_ ," Church ignored her annoyed growl, " _Get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion_."

Tucker and Tali shared a look, and Tucker replied, "Uh, Church, it kinda looks more like a triangle from down here."

" _What_?"

"I'm just sayin' it doesn't look like much of a circle. It looks like we're forming a triangle," Tucker explained.

" _Okay, fine. Triangle of confusion, rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery WHO THE FUCK_ _ **CARES**_ _? GET THE GODDAMN SHOW ON THE ROAD–_ "

"Alright alright! Sorry!" Tucker tried to calm the enraged ghost, turning to the Reds.

"What're they talking about?" She overheard Donut ask.

"Quiet, Admiral Poppin' Fresh!" Caboose whispered, "I think they are talking about your golden flaky crust!"

 _:Yeah. Definitely gonna die.:_

 _:I'm assuming that it's sounding just as stupid on your end then, Tali?:_

 _:You guessed it April. Why the hell did Tex_ _ **have**_ _to go? She would solve this easily.:_

 _:She never did like to stick around in one place. Always fidgety.:_

 _:That's because you only really talked to her while she was on the run from Freelancer, April.:_

 _:Ohh… right.:_

"Hello everyone!" Tucker called to the large group, "We're here to surrender! And this time, we would like to ask one representative/prisoner from each group to cross sides–"

"Hey, I think I see Lopez over there," Grif exclaimed.

" **Lopez the Heavy takes orders from your kind no more.** "

"Yup. It's him," Grif said at the sound of Spanish.

 _:Uh, you hear that April?:_

 _:Yeah… was it really a good idea to do this trade when the angry robot is right there to watch us give you slave robots?:_

 _:…_ _ **Fuck**_ _.:_

"Okay, get going pinky," Tucker ordered Donut, watching as the pink soldier ventured to the middle.

"Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun! I will always remember you're buttery goodness!… who was that guy?"

She sighed in her mind, watching as one of the cobalt colored robots—

 _:Francisco Montague Zanzibar.:_

 _:…The fuck kinda name is that?:_

 _:Sarge made it up. The other one is called Robot Number 2 because it's sass chip rejected the other names.:_

 _:Church is totally gonna possess that one.:_

 _:That's what I thought too!:_

" **A robot! They wish to turn our own kind against us!** "

 _:Uh-oh.:_

 _:Hmm… let this play out, or sit back and watch?:_ April mused.

They both replied at the same time, _:Watch.:_

"Um, Church?" Tucker prompted, "In hindsight, don't you think it was a bad idea to put Lopez around a bunch of robots?"

" _Just stick to the plan, I'll draw Lopez's fire,_ " Church assured.

"And how are you gonna do that?" Tali asked, tuning into the radio frequency, "Fire ghost bullets at him?"

"… _Tali… I don't appreciate your negativity right now_."

Tali sighed, "We're gonna die."

"What the– it is a double cross! Donut, Frankie Zan, get back here–"

"No, everyone stay where you are!" Tucker yelled, aiming his pistol at Lopez, "Do not go back!"

"This isn't working…" Tali muttered, before a loud noise burst into her ear, "AH!"

"Ow–mother–… what the hell is that noise?" Tucker seemed to hear it too.

" _Come in Red Command, come in. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Do you read me?_ " Oh, Sarge was calling Command… but if Tucker could hear it too…

" _Hello, hello, who's there, come in. Is that you Private Tucker?"_ Oh shit. Vic, you fucking idiot.

 _:What? What's going on?:_

 _:Tucker is listening in to Sarge's radio transmission, and it's the same fucking operator for Blue Command. He's not an idiot, he's gonna figure it out!:_

 _:Figure out what?:_

 _:That there isn't actually and Red vs. Blue conflict! The Red and Blue Command originate from the same place; The Freelancer Command Center!:_

 _:Oh… that's not good.:_

 _:Really April, that's_ _ **all**_ _you have to say?:_

 _:What do you want from me?!:_

" _Oh, hey there Sarge. Long time no see, sorry about that I… uhm… anyway what can we do for ya here at Red Command today?"_ Fuuuuuu–

Tali looked at Tucker out of the corner of her eye, seeing him stiffen and lower his pistol, and she knew right then, he had figured something out.

Wait, wha– Sarge wanted an air strike? What the fuck?

" _But I can't! I had to use spare parts form the fax machine to build Simmons 2.0!"_

What! Simmons 2.0—

 _:What the hell? There's paper coming out of Simmons ass!:_ April yelled over the link.

Okay, this was way too much crazy for her in one place.

"What the hell, Vic? How do you know the Red team? Why are you helping them against the Blues? What the fuck is going on here?" Oh god… Tucker figured it out.

And then Vic _fucking hung up!_ Way to not be suspicious, asshole!

Sarge started screaming, Caboose ran up in the middle with him and screaming for the hell of it, and she could only watch as Tucker started yelling.

"Wait everyone! Stop fighting! It's all a lie! Red is blue! Blue is red! It's all the same!"

" _Tucker! You're radio is giving too much feedback, shut it off!_ " Church yelled from behind the Reds, jumping into Robot Number Two. _Ha, knew it._

"I've got a boner for murder!" _The fuck Sarge_?

Tali heard an odd noise behind her and Tucker, and turned to see one of the Covenant ghost's with… _oh fuck!_

 _She forgot about Doc!_

Another form was holding a rocket launcher a ways away, and she squinted, seeing…

 _Another Church with a rocket launcher?!_

"There's no Red vs. Blue! It's all the–"

The other Church fired a rocket, it heading straight for Tucker, and Tali didn't think, she just _acted_.

 _Guess it's time to try out the thruster pack armor upgrade,_ she thought grimly, lurching toward Tucker and engaging the armor ability, feeling herself propel forward. Tucker was cut off mid-sentence as she slammed into him, carrying him with her as she zoomed away from the rocket's destination.

She felt shrapnel plunge into her back armor, just barely skimming her skin before being propelled out by her shields, and she hissed as they landed, Tucker sprawled on his back and her ontop of him, clutching to his waist for dear life.

She registered distantly that April was calling out to her, but something caused her to be dizzy, and she had trouble focusing.

 _What the hell was… oh_ _ **dammit**_ _Omega!_ She thought as she fell into unconsciousness.

…

…

…

She didn't care that the Reds would think it odd that she was running towards the fallen green soldier. Didn't care that Doc was taking off with Lopez, or that the others were crowding around the Red base, leaving Tucker and Tali on the ground. All she saw was the woman that protected her from so much sprawled on the ground, and she bolted towards her.

Skidding to a stop by the body of Tali while Tucker leaned over her, she held up her hands as she was met with Tucker's magnum.

"Relax… I'm not gonna hurt her," She stated slowly.

"Uh-Huh. Cause I totally believe that," Tucker snarled.

 _Screw it,_ she thought, and said, "My name is April, but you, uh, may have heard the name Aries instead. I'm Tali's little sister, and I've been in touch with her for some time. _Please_ , let me help her."

Tucker was frozen for a moment before he lowered his aim and said, "She...said she didn't have contact with you. Any of her siblings, really."

"Well it was either lie or tell her team that I was on the other side of the war," She retorted, sinking down on her knees and injecting her sister with biofoam, "It doesn't look too bad," She tried to comfort the cyan soldier, "It looks like she slipped into unconsciousness because of the stress."

 _Or O'Malley managed to do something to her to render her immobile during his attack. He probably did that electric shock again,_ She thought glumly, looking up at Tucker.

"Should that make me feel better?" Tucker asked, "Because it doesn't."

"Trust me, I'm just as angry as you are. I want to tear O'Malley a new one, that's for sure," April snarled venomously, before she stood and said in a softer voice, "Can you carry her?"

Tucker scooped Tali up bridal style, cradling her to his chest protectively, and April couldn't help but smile at the sight. Tali would be fine, thank god, and she was _so_ gonna tease her about this.

"Names Tucker," The man nodded once.

"As I said, I'm Aries, but call me April," She replied, briefly noting that he, along with most of the men around here, was _extremely_ tall, and guided him to where the Reds and Blues were talking about the irony of the situation.

…

…

…

 _Ow. What the hell happened?_

"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice but to leave Tali."

"Who's Tali? The green guy?"

She shot up with a cough, suddenly feeling remarkably better than she did a couple seconds ago. She noticed that she scared multiple people in her sudden outburst, but two others were by her side.

"Tali, you okay? Come on, talk to me!" Tucker rambled as he held onto her hand like it was a lifeline.

"Tali, listen to my voice, okay? You remember what happened? You were hit by the splash of the rocket blast, but you're okay now," April assured her.

"Where's… where's O'Malley… I know I heard his stupid fucking laugh," She growled.

Tucker made a relieved sound and called out, "She's fine, guys!"

"She? You mean the guy that's evaded a shit ton of our attacks, managed to wreck the Warthog by tricking us _twice_ , and made Simmons faint is a girl?" Grif asked incredulously.

"I did _not_ faint!" Simmons yelped.

"Yes you did! _Twice_!" Grif yelled back.

"Uh… yeah?" Church said in reply.

Much to Tucker's distress, she stood and walked over to the group of Reds and Blues, ignoring his hovering, "What's this about leaving me behind?" Tali asked Church as she crossed her arms.

"Well, we were gonna go through the teleporter without you since you were passed out, but… ar-are you okay?" Church asked in concern, stepping towards her in his new robot body.

"Relax, I'm fine. Just… can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" She looked around the group.

To her surprise, Sarge spoke up, "To put it in the condensed version… well, the loony toon Doc came outta nowhere and threw everything into a panic, getting my hopes up for one person and particular to perish–"

"Fuck you too, sir," Grif snapped.

"–and then he took Lopez."

"And he shot at me, but you tackled me out of the way," Tucker added from behind her.

 _What? Omega didn't shoot at Tucker, the other Church did. And that's not possible… unless an A.I. that could distort time was–_

 _Fucking Gamma._

Her realization aside, she nodded along with everyone, "So we're going in after him through the teleporter I'm guessing?"

"Exactly," April affirmed, "Should be fun."

Tali laughed, not noticing the odd looks they received from the others besides Tucker, Caboose and Sheila, and then asked, "What?"

"…Nothing. Okay, Tucker, you stay behind," Church ordered.

"Sweet. I'll take any opportunity not to go through the damn teleporter again," He said, rather pleased with the results of this talk.

Without warning, Sarge and Caboose charged through the teleporter, leaving the others to puzzle over the odd camaraderie that had already formed between the women they knew as Tali and April.

The two women looked at each other, talking though the link.

 _:I guess it's time to spill the beans, huh April?:_

 _:Yeah… I don't mind though. I missed talking with you face to face.:_

"Hey Church?" Tali broached, gesturing to the Cinnamon and Prussian colored soldier, "This… is Apr- uh, I mean _Aries_."

Church stared for a long moment, looking directly at April as he tried to process what Tali just said. After what seemed like an eternity, he replied like so.

" _WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP SPRINGING THIS SHIT ON ME YOU INSUFFERABLE BITCHES?!"_

"Wow, no need to be so rude, brother," April giggled as Church stomped as he yelled.

"Wait a second; I thought your name was April," Grif stepped forward, looking at April with confusion.

"Well, technically my name is Aries like the Zodiac sign, but as you can see, they don't exactly sound like an actual human's name," April replied, "So I changed it to April, and here it is."

"Oh awesome! You can be a part of our spy movie too! Agent Aries, the sister of Taurus, hell bent on finding her and making things right–"

" _Shut up,_ Donut!" Grif whined.

"So hold on," Church tried to comprehend his sister's logic, "You've been in this canyon for two months, and you didn't _say anything_?!"

"…No?" April replied, unsure how else to answer.

"...Aries–"

"It's April now," She corrected.

" _STOP CHANGING YOUR NAMES ON ME_!" Church wailed, stomping his feet like a child.

"Well to prepare you if we ever run into our other siblings later, their names are now Libby and Scout," Tali informed him with an amused smile on her face, nudging April's shoulder as she giggled.

"Wait-wait a second," Simmons spoke up from his spot beside the teleporter, "You mean to tell us that April is the sister of both this blue and Tali?"

"Yes. That's exactly it," Tucker affirmed, enjoying watching Church freak out.

"Now, if we're all understanding this–"

"I'm not done here!" Church exclaimed.

"–can we please just go through the teleporter and find O'Malley now?" Tali finished, looking around.

Church pointed at her, saying lowly, "We are not done here."

"Mkay, see ya Church!" April chirped as she dragged Tali along and grabbed Simmons arm, "See you on the other side guys!" She called as she dragged the three of them through the teleporter.

A prolonged silence went on the top of Red base, before Church cried out to the entire canyon a distressed statement.

"Why are all my sisters fucking insane?"

…

…

…

Donut was trying his best not to look at Sheila when suddenly, a black blur sped past him and smashed its fist into Francisco Montague Zanzibar so hard that it's helmet shattered on impact, leaving it a useless, twitching shell on the ground.

"AH WHAT WAS THAT?!" Donut screamed in terror.

"Alright you sons a bitches, I'm back," Tex grinned predatorily as she straightened, fist still clenched, "And I've got some– hey where'd everybody go?" She asked to herself, looking around in confusion until she saw the pink soldier, "Do I know you? _Hey_! You're the girl that threw that grenade at me!"

Tex glared at him while Sheila slowly swung her canon to look at him. Tucker only backed up very slowly and tried not to be spotted by the black armored bitch.

Donut looked away and uttered in a scared tone, "Uh-oh…"

…

…

…

Sarge splashed right into a creek and gritted his teeth, giddy from all the violence.

"Prepare to surrender, dirtbag!" He yelled, cocking his shotgun, only to find no one there.

"Okay! I surrender!" Caboose exclaimed innocently as he appeared behind Sarge and slightly to the left, pistol aimed towards him, "Now it's your turn!"

"Not you, moron!" Sarge shook his head, turning to the Blue, "Wait a minute, where are we?"

"...Miss Tali?" Caboose called hopefully, "Are you there?"

Sarge's sigh answered him.

…

…

…

Simmons, Tali and April all tumbled out of the teleporter in a mess of limbs.

"Was it really a good idea to pull us all in at the _same time_ , April?" Tali groaned, standing unsteadily on her feet.

"Eh, heat of the moment," April shrugged in return.

Simmons got up and looked around, just seeing portal after portal in the strange series of rooms, "Where is everybody? And where are we?"

…

…

…

Church and Grif phased into existence on a very familiar ice planet. Church groaned, recognizing the frozen over lake and snow plain. _Fucking Sidewinder…_

"Alright, now let's just find– hey, where is everybody?" The cobalt blue ghost asked, looking around.

"Woah…" Grif uttered, "Where _are_ we? What is this place?"

" _Freeze_ , drop your weapon!" A very harsh and very gruff voice scared the living daylights out of them.

"Uh-oh," was all Church could say in the moment.

"I said freeze, dirtbag!"

 _Oh no…_ Grif thought tiredly.

Just as the orange soldier predicted, there was that familiar beep, and a pistol butt was smashed down on his helmeted head.

" _OW!...AW, COME ON_!"

...

...

...

 _Thank you to the guest reviewer and Boggie445 and everyone that followed and faved! And also, this story hit a thousand views! Woo!_

 _I'm going to be offline for the next three days, as I said before (writers conference at a college I really want to go to) but I will post the next chapter as soon as possible! I'll see you all in season 3 ;)_

 _Lonessa out._


	11. We're Not in Blood Gulch Anymore

"So… it looks like we're the only ones here," April stated slowly, looking around curiously.

Tali sighed, "Dammit, these teleporters could lead to anywhere!" She exclaimed before turning to Simmons, "Do you think we can contact the others? Or did the teleporter mess that up too?"

"Uh… I don't… I mean… I-I'll check!" He hurried away then, checking his radio.

Tali raised a brow and crossed her arms, looking at April, "What's his problem?"

"Not good at talking with girls," April bent down and played with some wires in one of the teleporters, "He'll get used to you in time."

" _Sarge! This is Simmons 2.0, do you read me? Apparently your plan to chase Lopez and Doc has failed miserably! Tali, April and I appear to be stuck in some kind of nexus of teleporters which could take us anywhere in the universe… or it's the janitor's closet, the hell I don't fuckin' know, Sarge, are you there, Sarge!_ "

April looked up at Tali, looking troubled, "I'm guessing your theory about the teleporters screwing everything up would be correct."

"2.0? The hell does that mean?" Tali questioned.

"Uh… Simmons is half-cyborg…" April admitted sheepishly, wires sparking at her fingers.

"…Okay."

"Wha– you're fine with that? Right off the bat, okay?" April stood fast, looking rather surprised.

"Listen April, I've been in that fucking canyon for far too long, and I've had to stand by and watch the idiots without any interaction for the majority of it," Tali stated frankly, "I'm pretty much immune to this shit now."

Simmons returned a moment later, crouching down to look at the work April had done on the teleporter, "Alright, let's see what I can do here. If I wire this thing into that… and maybe I can signal boost on that thing there… I might just maybe be able to get that to work… Woah!"

Simmons jumped up and was stabilized by the two women as Sarge's voice came in through the teleporter.

" _Woah, Caboose keep them away from me! Get that one… and that one… no no, the one with the limp! Caboose!"_

"Yup, that's Sarge alright," April chuckled, "Ah, that crazy old bastard."

"I noticed you're swearing more often, April. Are we rubbing off on you?" Tali asked with a small grin.

"I think I can safely say that anyone hangin out in that canyon will come out with a mouth so dirty a whole bar of soap couldn't clean it," April replied.

"Ugh, God! Don't ever say that again. Way too close to Donut territory," Simmons shook his head.

" _I don't want to kill!… but I don't want to die either!"_

"Caboose, Sarge, can you hear me?" Simmons yelled into the teleporter.

" _Yes, I heard you Sergeant,"_ Caboose turned around and looked at Sarge.

 _"I didn't say anything, numbnuts!"_

"Damn… they can't see us. Alright, let's see…" Simmons mumbled, crouching back down to look at the wiring.

"So, wait. If Sarge and Caboose are the only two there, that means Grif and Church could be anywhere else in the galaxy!" April exclaimed, looking around the nexus of teleporters.

"Well… shit," Tali sighed, biting her lip in realization, "Let's just hope we get lucky like we did with this one."

"What the hell is wrong with your teammate?" Simmons asked as he watched Caboose.

 _"O'Malley taught me how to be mean. I just have to concentrate on bad things… like milk! No…wait, red bull!"_

 _"Son, I think you've really lost it. O'Malley's not in your head anymore, he's infected the Doc!"_

 _"No. I can feel him. I just need to get angry… and say mean things! Like…uh… your brain is a mountain of hatred!"_

"Hmm…" Tali thought, smirking slowly, "I think I can help Michael unleash his inner O'Malley…"

April looked at Tali perplexedly, "How?"

"Catch."

"Woah!" April caught Tali's falling body in surprise, before realizing what she was doing, "Oh, you're a sneaky one!"

 _"I never thought I would reach the moment in my life that I would miss Grif, but here it is,"_ She could hear Sarge moan sadly.

Tali kept the armor link on as she talked to Caboose in her mind, and April listened in.

 _:Hey Michael. Having a problem?:_

 _:It would seem that I'm trying to get angry. Is there a way you can help with that?:_ Caboose's mental image of himself spoke.

 _:Oh, I can help,:_ Tali replied with confidence.

She watched as small flickers of green electricity jolted around Caboose's armor, and his voice slowly distorted to be one similar to O'Malley. He roared as he jumped off the ledge, landing with a resounding and ominous thud.

Tali suddenly jolted back to life in her arms and stood again, gasping in a breath, "Did it work?"

" _My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I. Hate. Babies!"_

April gaped at the sight, "I'm gonna go with yes on that one."

And then… Caboose went crazy.

Smacking the zealots in the head, firing his pistol with deadly accuracy, and then firing a sniper rifle (where did he get that thing?) repeatedly at close range, all the while Simmons contacted Sarge and started kissing his ass immediately.

Some things just don't change.

 _"I will eat your unhappiness!"_

"What does that even mean? What the _hell_ did you do to make him that crazy? What the fuck is going on?" Simmons would probably be pulling at his hair if his helmet was off at this point.

"Just fix the damn teleporter!" Tali ordered.

"Oh, shit! Just give me a few more seconds over here Sarge!" Simmons called to his leader.

 _"We don't have a few more seconds!"_

"Stop pressuring me! I rely on you for love and support!" Simmons squeaked, drawing odd looks from the two women accompanying him.

 _"Your toast has been burned, and no amount of scraping will remove the black dots!"_

 _"Ah, shut up Caboose."_

"Okay, hurry, come through now!" Simmons suddenly yelled, standing back.

Two figures, one red and one blue, practically flew out of the teleporter, Sarge stumbling and falling to the ground and Caboose running straight into Tali, knocking them both to the ground.

"You shall never receive the sprinkles for your ice cream!" Caboose continued ranting in his O'Malley voice.

Tali laughed, "Hey sweetie! How're you feeling?"

Caboose seemed to shake himself out of his evil mode, and suddenly chirped, "Miss Tali! You are okay!" And hugged her tightly.

"Simmons, you get an F in efficiency!" Sarge barked, before adding, "But you get an A+ in dramatic timing!"

"Aw… he's so sweet!" April cooed as Caboose set Tali back on her own feet, turning to wave to April.

"Hello June!" He greeted, mistaking her name.

"Thank you sir," Simmons gushed to his leader, "I always felt like presentation is what matters most."

"Wait… what happened?" Caboose asked Sarge, "The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten, and then we were in this janitor's closet, and my throat hurts… a lot."

"Aw, don't worry sweetie," April adopted Tali's name for Caboose, "We'll find you something to help with that."

"What was that place, Sarge?" Simmons questioned.

"Simmons… I have absolutely no idea," Sarge stated bluntly, not wanting to revisit it.

An insistent beeping was suddenly heard from Tali and April's helmets, causing them both to yelp at the loud noise. They quickly tapped the sides of their helmets and both read the message that was sent to them. And by the loud beeping, they both knew it was important.

 _ **Warning: ASSASSINATION CONTRACT**_

 _ **From: Agent Texas**_

 _ **Guys, we got a problem! Wyoming is back, and he's out to kill Tucker after Vic's slip up.**_

 _:…oh_ _ **SHIT**_ _!:_ Both Tali and April exclaimed.

"What was that noise?" Simmons asked.

The girls turned to him in unison, alarm in their posture, and uttered urgently at the same exact time, "We have to get back to Blood Gulch!"

…

…

…

"Are you sure this is it?" Tali asked April, hands on her hips as she stared at the teleporter in front of them.

"Yeah. You see, Sarge put a listening device in the robot that got left behind at Blood Gulch. The signal for it originates in this area," April nodded.

"Can I push the button to make it go? Please?" Caboose asked Sarge, seeing the device in his hand.

Sarge looked down at the remote control device and back at Caboose, who had his hands clasped together and bouncing in place, and he sighed, "Okay, Caboose. But just this once."

"Yay!" Caboose cheered, taking the control from his hands.

"Hehehe. What a little raskol," Sarge stated fondly.

 _:Aw… Caboose is growing on him!:_ April cooed through the link.

 _:Okay, that's kinda cute, I'll admit:_ Tali agreed.

"I pushed the button!" Caboose stated happily to Simmons.

Simmons, however, was not amused, and growled lowly, "Stay away from him. He's mine!"

" _Man, I hate this! This sucks!"_

"It's Church!" Caboose gasped in surprise.

 _"I just wanna lay around and do nothing."_

"I think it's Grif!" Sarge thought aloud.

 _"Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble bath."_

Simmons, Sarge and April all said at once, "Donut."

"Lemme see if I can lock onto that signal Sarge… okay got it! Go ahead," Simmons called, messing with some of the wires.

"Come in Donut! Come in. Do you read me?" Sarge said into the radio.

" _Sarge! You gotta help me, the chick in black armor's back_!"

"Tex?" Tali asked herself, before tuning into the link.

 _:Tex? Are you there? Can you hear me?:_

 _:Loud and clear Tali. Where are you?:_

 _:We're trying to get back to you, but it's hard to figure out which teleporter goes where. Listen, is Tucker there?:_

 _:Yeah. I'm back up on the surface and I'm keeping an eye out for Wyoming. I'm protecting him as a favor.:_

 _:Okay, good. Now listen, tell Tucker that once the teleporter is open to go in. We still haven't found Church or Grif yet in this damn place.:_

 _:Hey Tex!:_ April tuned into the link.

 _:April? Is that you?:_ Tex questioned with a warmth in her tone. Tali smiled at that; April was always the sweet one in Freelancer, and she always received all the love.

 _:Yeah, it's me! I've been hoping to talk to you for a while.:_

 _:Guys, let's focus here:_ Tali brought them back to the topic at hand, _:Look, just keep Tucker inside the base while you're in Blood Gulch. Wyoming tends to do things from afar, remember?:_

 _:Will do Tali. I'll make sure nothing happens to your man.:_ Tex replied cheekily.

 _:_ _ **TEX**_ _!:_

 _:Oh, you're in on it too, Tex?:_ April asked to her surprise.

 _:In on what?… dammit guys!:_ Tali glared at April, who raised her hands placatingly.

When the girls tuned back into the conversation, Caboose was holding the remote control, his finger hovering above the second button that was coated red.

"Yeah! More button pushing!" He cheered.

"Uh-oh…" April mumbled.

"Caboose, don't touch that!" Simmons warned.

"What's going on?" Tali asked in confusion, looking at the three Reds.

"This is the button to find Church!" Caboose yelled as he pressed the button, alarms suddenly sounding around the room.

"Did he just do what I think he did?" Simmons asked himself in horror.

"Church is going to be so happy with me!"

"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?!" Tali suddenly yelled over the alarms.

Sarge and Simmons looked sheepish while April informed her hesitantly, "Caboose just activated the 10-megaton bomb that's in Church's gut."

Tali looked wide eyed at the guilty Sergeant, before screeching.

" _FUCK MY LIFE_!"

…

…

…

Fucking Sidewinder.

Church and Grif were at Sidewinder and Church was literally a ticking time bomb and they had no way of getting to him quickly.

And Tucker wouldn't go through the _fucking teleporter_!

" _I'm not going through that thing… I'm serious!"_

" _I never knew that the Phillips screwdriver was this one! Do ya think it was named after a guy named Phillip? That guy Phillip must've had a fucked up shaped head!"_ Donut mused, not helping Tucker's confidence.

 _"Yeah, screw this, I'm walking."_

"Hey Tex?" Tali radioed, "If Tucker doesn't go into the teleporter, I'm giving you permission to kick him into it."

 _"Fuck you, Tali!"_

 _"This should be fun,"_ Tex mused.

"Don't worry, Grif and Church!" Sarge exclaimed, hefting his shotgun up on his shoulder, "Here comes the Cavalry!"

He let out a battle cry as he ran through the teleporter, engulfed by the green light only to…Hop out of another teleporter behind them and let out a surprised 'Oh' when he turned. Okay then Sarge.

"Uh, sir? The teleporter I reprogrammed is over there," Simmons pointed to the wall opposite of them.

Tali rolled her eyes, "Enough chit chat, let's get moving!" And ran for the correct teleporter, jumping through with April following close after.

They were transported to a simple grey walled room with an open passageway to the outside, the wind blowing snow in and the floor dusted over with a white coat.

"Holy _FUCK_ it is freezing!" Tali howled, bouncing on her toes to keep moving.

"Well, it is an ice planet," April shrugged, teeth chattering as she did so.

"Okay, here come the others," Simmons told them all as he turned to look to the teleporter.

Tex emerged first, assault rifle up and ready, and turned to April and Tali, "Stay with Tucker, make sure Wyoming doesn't get the jump on him!"

"What about you?" April asked as Tex ran for the outside.

"I'm gonna try and kill the British son of a bitch," She growled dangerously.

"Be sure to send my regards," Tali commented, smirking under her helmet.

"Will do," She replied, sprinting out into the cold air.

Tucker was the last to stumble out of the teleporter, covered in soot and coughing.

"Ow, crap!…seriously, just me?" Tucker questioned angrily, trying to wipe off the black soot to no avail.

"Tucker! I am so glad to see you!" Caboose said earnestly while he followed after Tucker, "Now let me help you clean your armor off by rubbing you all over."

"Oh, let me help!" Donut ran after them.

"Absolutely Admiral Buttercrust!" Caboose replied, beckoning him to move faster with a wave of his hand.

April and Tali shared a look before following cautiously, April holding her plasma rifle and Tali two submachine guns. While Donut and Caboose started cleaning Tucker's armor, Tucker looked at them questioningly as they tried to seem nonchalant.

"What are you guys doing?" He questioned, watching as they leant on the wall made of ice.

"Trying to look inconspicuous," April replied, not looking at him.

"Why?"

"Because there's a hit on you, dumbass!" Tali hissed harshly, "How you managed that, I have no fucking clue, but congrats."

"I can't say– _OW_! The fuck is that noise?!" Tucker jolted, his armor only half clean.

April and Tali shared an uneasy look, toggling the message sent on their helmets, and April commented, "Man, if you got another hit man on you Tucker, you must be _pretty_ popular."

"Well, I am popular with the _ladies_ ," Tucker threw a suggestive look her way, while Tali warned.

"Careful Tucker. You're talking to my little sister," She said casually, and he promptly shut up.

"She's just jealous," April leaned towards him and whispered so Tali couldn't hear.

 _ **Warning: PROXIMITY ALERT**_

 _ **Codename: Agent California**_

 _ **Threat Level: Yellow**_

 _ **Side note: California should be considered a hostile and should be shot on sight**_

"The universe hates me," Tali sighed, slumping visibly.

"Remind me what California did? It was something to do with Libby, right?" April questioned, having read the message as well.

"Did Libby ever mention to you that a guy once tried to… uhm… kidnap her and and kill York?"

"…Yeah."

"That's the guy."

"Oh… well shit," April was at a loss for words. "And here all this time I was just thinking he was just a perv."

"Uh, confused here!" Tucker raised his hand.

"You know the experimental project that Tex was in?" Tali asked before April butted in.

"Tali and I, as well as our other two sisters, were in it as well, and California would always harass Libby," April explained.

"Why'd he do that?" Tucker questioned them both.

"Who knows? He just walked up to her one day and said she had a 'pretty face', and stalked her ever since," Tali shrugged before getting back on topic, "Anyway, he was booted out of the project, but he escaped before he could have his equipment taken away."

"And all agents were given proximity alerts to his armor so they might have the chance of taking him out, but he basically dropped off the grid," April stressed, "If he turned up now…"

"Then that means he's looking for Libby… or someone associated with Libby," Tucker puzzled out for himself.

"Exactly," Tali nodded in confirmation.

"Not to mention his armor ability…" April trailed off.

"Armor ability?" Tucker questioned, "Is that like the camo thing Tex has?"

"Yeah, all armor has an ability pre-equipped, but either a V.I. or A.I. has to control it for it to work properly," Tali explained, "California's ability is that he has what we call 'Promethean Vision.' He can see through walls and detect heat signatures from afar–"

"Making tracking people easy for him," April finished.

Tucker stared for a long moment, before saying, "You know, I just got the feeling that you're gonna have a lot more friends than this 'California' guy messing with us."

"With our luck? Of course," Tali said glumly, not noticing a ways away that a figure in green and yellow was watching them curiously.

…

…

…

"MuahaHAHAHAHA! You fools have fallen right into my hands! Only now do you realize the folly of your follies, hahaha! Prepare for oblivion, for where there is no preparation!"

O'Malley was standing atop a snow ridge with Lopez by his side, and Tali saw no way of getting up there easily. Not that she would be able to attempt it anyway, considering that O'Malley probably had a rocket launcher hidden up there somewhere. It was his favorite weapon, if she remembered correctly.

"O'Malley!" Simmons stood at the front of the group, "The Reds and Blues are working together now! You can't hope to beat us!"

Donut and Caboose were to April's right with pistols drawn, April herself was holding her plasma rifle in one hand and plasma pistol in the other, Tucker was behind Tali with an assault rifle, Sarge was to her right with his beloved shotgun, and lastly, Tali was kneeling with her two submachine guns trained on the purple figure.

"You fools! My metallic friend is the only ally I need!" O'Malley exclaimed, turning slightly to look at the robot, "Lopez, activate weather control routines!"

Lopez replied with an affirmative, electricity running along his form before holographic shapes began to circle him, but something was amiss in both Tali and April's minds.

"Hold on a second, you're going to conquer the universe by using the weather?" April questioned in disbelief.

"But of course! It's ingenious, MUAHAHAHA!" O'Malley cackled.

"I'll tell you what it is; fucking stupid!" Tali shouted, angering O'Malley (big surprise there).

"Oh, _shut up_! You sound just like Tex!"

"No really? How the hell are you gonna do that? Space doesn't _have_ weather moron!" Tali spit, "Man, if you're gonna be an evil villain Meggy, at least be a _competent_ one!"

"DO NOT. CALL ME. MEGGY!" O'Malley screeched, while the other soldiers around her sniggered, even Lopez!

"What's going on?" Church's voice suddenly sounded from behind them all, and they all turned in surprise.

"Do you want the long version or the short version?" Sarge asked, before explaining, "Basically you have a 50-megaton bomb in your gut–"

"10-megaton sir!" Simmons corrected.

"–and Lopez is about to kill us all!"

"With the power of Mother Nature apparently," Tali sighed, cocking her submachine guns.

"That doesn't make any sense, what's the long version?" Church asked in hopes of a clearer explanation.

What he got was even shorter, "That was the long version. In short, _we're boned_!" Tucker interjected.

Tali made a noise of indignation, "Tucker, there are some things that I will not stand for. One of them happens to be being defeated by some destabilizing A.I. that has a idiotic laugh and a power fetish."

Grif ran up to April and Simmons then, stopping when Simmons asked if he was alright.

"I've done hard time, you two. I'm not the man you used to know," Grif said gravely.

"Hard time? But… we were separated for like, five hours," April estimated, looking at the orange soldier in confusion.

"Time moves slower on the inside, April. It seemed like seven or eight hours to me!"

A rocket suddenly zoomed past them, exploding a mere ten feet from where the group was standing, and they all turned to see O'Malley with a rocket launcher in hand.

"You foolish fools! You'll never defeat me, oblivion is at hand!" He proclaimed.

Everyone scattered for cover, Grif and Sarge behind a rock and Simmons behind a tree, Tucker, Caboose and Donut running off to the left somewhere, but April was thrown violently to the side as someone slammed into Tali's side, flinging them away from the Reds and Blues.

"What the fuck?!" Tali screeched, slamming both her palms into the chestpiece of her attacker and leaping backward, "Who the hell...are…"

Oh...fuck... _OH FUCK._

"California…"

The blue-green armor with mustard yellow accents gave away who the agent was immediately, and if that wasn't enough, California's old railgun was clipped to his back. Bits of ice were frozen over the chestplate, but she was sad to say that it wouldn't hinder his movement as there wasn't any ice on the under suit he wore. Although California had his helmet on, she knew that a smug smile was hiding behind the orange tinted visor, and he tilted his chin up as he greeted her casually.

"Agent Taurus. It has been _far_ too long," California drawled in his gravelly tone, and Tali scowled as soon as the hated codename reached her ears, "Also, it's nice to see little Aries finally got herself a body. I always wondered what she would look like as a _human_."

 _:Tali! Are you okay? I'm drawing Omega's fire from the Reds but maybe I can get to you after I deal with the little-!:_

 _:Stay away April. This is my fight:_

"What do you want?" She addressed him calmly, but inside she was seething, the familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach as her blood began to simmer. She tried to calm herself, but the instinct to attack was too strong, and the arrival of a part of her past only magnified this, bringing her back to a time where she wouldn't have hesitated, wouldn't have bothered calculating.

"You know what I want," California stepped forward, hand outstretched and palm open, "I will leave if you do one thing, and none of your sim troopers will be hurt."

Her hand covered the compartment on her forearm. She backed up a few steps as he stepped forward, grabbing her submachine guns and pointing them at the agent.

"Why do you assume I have her?"

California chuckled, "You were her guard dog, Taurus. Or, at least you tried your best to be. And we both know that despite your wild side, you follow orders when you're given them. Like a good little soldier, _right_?"

Tali grit her teeth, "You're not getting her."

"Very well. Omicron?" He prompted, and the A.I. in question popped up on his shoulder.

"Initiated," The blue and gold colored A.I. replied monotonically, and...did the ground underneath her just beep?

"Fuck," She stated simply as something clicked, and the ice underneath her shattered, the explosion propelling her into the air.

Lightning was flashing around her and dark clouds were forming overhead, giving the ice planet an ominous look. She gritted her teeth and twisted in the air, using her thruster pack to boost away from where she saw California advancing.

She landed hard on her feet, stumbling slightly before regaining her footing and swung around, blocking a punch from California. He swung his railgun around like a club, and Tali jumped up before firing her submachine guns at him and rocketing away with her thruster pack.

"Why do you want her so badly?" Tali growled as she skid across the ice, cartwheeling out of the way of a shot from the railgun.

"Who wouldn't want the original of the Synthesis A.I.?" California retorted, "She's the best A.I. the Director created, save for Alpha, but we both know he's a bit _broken_ right now."

Tali dashed forward and slugged him in the visor for that comment, snarling, "Don't talk about my brother like that, asswipe!"

"You still think of him as that? That's cute."

"Fuck off!"

"I wonder if he still has the nightmares? Or, actually, does he still think Agent Texas is his little girlfriend? Now that would be just _pathetic_."

"You don't know anything about him!" Tali cried, her fighting style becoming more reckless, more daring. She didn't care though. Only her small circle of friends know what happens when her anger goes to her head…

"It would be even more pathetic if you had the nightmares?...and by that reaction, I'd say you do," California noted how her frame became rigid and unmoving, her fist clenched and her body in mid-lunge. California leaned back, his fighting stance gone in replacement of a cocky one, "Poor Taurus. The poor little hybrid that is destined to fail because her uncontrollable rage got to her head."

"I _can_ control it."

"Hm. Doesn't look like you're doing a very good job of controlling it right now."

"That's because _I don't want to!_ "

At that she let go and lurched forward, letting loose a flurry of attacks that she knew California wouldn't have a chance to counter. She hit hard and fast, putting her entire weight into her kicks and punches as she forced California back. He went to try and kick low, but she completely ignored it as she rammed her fist into his gut, not giving him a chance recover as she hit both her palms on his chestplate and sent him flying back into an ice block.

Tali let herself smirk as she eased out of her combat stance and began slowly make her way towards him. In a way, she was glad it was California that showed up, and not Hampshire. She could handle California easy, since he wasn't exactly the most coordinated fighter, and she knew his style. New Hampshire however was just...psychotic and unpredictable. And to top it off, he was half synthetic thanks to Synthesis.

"Still sloppy I see," Tali remarked, examining her glove. She didn't notice what California had behind his back until too late.

California jumped up and hurled a sharp ice shard toward her, and Tali's eyes widened. She tried to dodge to the left, but the shard was able to penetrate the exposed part of her right shoulder, and she groaned in pain. She stumbled, vision unfocusing for a second before suddenly everything was crystal clear again, brighter than before as her synthetic side kicked in. California was fast approaching, ready to knock her down, and she reached for the black cylindrical tube on her left hip.

The green lights blinked on as it recognized that someone was now holding it, and pure green solidified light shot from the handle, forming a katana. Tali grit her teeth as she sliced the katana across her body, the light sword cutting at his chestplate before he jumped back. He threw a grenade blindly before making a hasty retreat, condensed blue energy speeding towards him from the side.

"Get away from my sister, you cockbite!" April yelled before catching sight of Tali staring at her, and she flicked her hand up in a wave, rushing over and taking her by the arm, "Come on Tali, I can't leave Omega unoccupied forever!"

"I told you that that was my fight," Tali said with stubbornness, and April had the time to give her a flat look.

"You don't have to do everything yourself."

April then turned her attention to shooting at the purple armored pacifist, and a sudden squawk of incredulity came from behind one of the snow powdered rocks.

" _Seriously_! Your gun shoots blue, how are you not blue?!"

"Shut up Grif, my blue gun is saving your ass right now!" April shrieked back, more fearful than angry.

O'Malley turned and fired at the two approaching woman, and Tali grabbed hold of April and engaged her thruster pack again to dodge to the side, the rocket missing them by inches.

"Fucking quit it!" Tali yelled, her and April hiding behind a block of ice.

"Not so fast, O'Malley!" Simmons stopped O'Malley from firing his rocket at Grif and Sarge, "Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can!"

Out of absolutely nowhere, a teleporter appeared beside him, and the zealots came rushing out.

"Hey guys, you want flag?" Simmons asked them, pointing to O'Malley, "He's the one that has it!"

The zealots turned in one fluid motion, and began chasing after O'Malley.

"Simmons, you're a fucking genius!" Tali cheered, running to meet up with Church and the others.

Lightning suddenly struck and hit Church, and he seemed to be… tickled by it? Weird.

"Hold still son! This'll just take a second," Sarge assured, opening a panel down near his… _oh ewww_!

"Don't you ever install anything _above_ the waist?" Church asked incredulously.

"Oh no! That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!" Sarge cried.

"You're kidding… right?" Tali sighed, "You're not kidding. Fuck."

"What the hell happened to you?" Tucker questioned suddenly, and Tali's eyes darted to her right shoulder, the ice shard still embedded into the skin.

"I found California," She replied simply, more than alarmed once Tucker walked closer and went on examining her injury, "Tucker, in case you didn't know, there's a walking bomb in front of us."

Tucker just glared at her when she mentioned that, and turned to the conversation at hand.

"Can you defuse it manually?" Simmons questioned urgently.

"Impossible! I specifically designed it so that even I wouldn't be able to defuse it!"

"Why?" Grif asked in horror.

"In case I fell into the wrong hands, and was brainwashed to help the blues!"

"Nice thinking, sir!"

Grif turned to Simmons in exasperation, "You had to get one last ass kiss in before we die, didn't you?"

"Church," Tucker raised a rocket launcher (where the hell did he get that?!), "There's only one thing I can do."

"Ey, what the hell!?"

"There's only twenty seconds left!" Simmons cried.

"If I blow you up before the bomb goes off, there's at least a small chance the rest of us will live," Tucker reasoned.

"But the rocket will kill me!" Church retorted.

"Ten seconds!"

"You're going to die anyway when the bomb goes off!" Grif exclaimed.

"What can I tell ya, pal? Misery loves company," Church shrugged.

"Five seconds!"

Tali darted her gaze to April, who was staring right back at her. They seemed to be thinking the same thing, and as Tali leaned in and whispered, "Engage your shield at the last second," April nodded fractionally.

"Sorry, Church."

"Man, this blows, you guys suck!" Church put in one last insult.

A sniper shot rang throughout the area, it knocking the rocket launcher from Tucker's hands.

"What the hell?!… Oh dammit, Wyoming!" Tucker stomped his foot in agitation.

"Uh, guys? I hate to interrupt but… zero seconds," Simmons said glumly.

"Son of a–" Church was cut off with a boom as a wall of orange erupted from April's hands.

...

...

...

 _Guess who?! I managed to squeeze in some time between my workshops at the college to whip this up! It's a little shorter than my regular chapters but at least it's something! Oh, and thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I just checked today and it made me smile!_

 _Iron-ninja: Oh my, why all the hate towards Church?! Haha, but it is funny to see him suffer because of his lack of tact when angry._

 _RedSparrow8749: Oh I'm glad! Thanks for sticking around!_

 _Oh, and to any it may concern, I don't have the to input the html needed for this chapter so it won't be posted on Archive of Our Own until at the very least Saturday evening. I apologize. :(_

 _Welp, the conference is calling to me! Gotta run, happy writing to all!_

 _Lonessa out._


	12. Repopulation is an Option

"–isten son, you and your buddy Church set off a bomb, which when combined with the weather machinery in Lopez, created an explosion so large it destroyed the present!"

 _:… did I just hear Sarge?:_ Tali asked slowly, trying to make her limbs work and failing.

 _:Are we dead? I made a wall around us, I thought it would work:_ April replied, _:And why can't I move?:_

 _:I can't move either. Let's just listen for a bit, okay?:_

"Destroyed the present?" They heard Tucker exclaim, "Then where are we?"

"We're in the future, numbnuts," Simmons replied, sounding unimpressed.

"Aren't we in the present right now? Aren't we always in the present?" Tucker asked, sounding skeptical.

"Unbelievable. He can't cope with the loss! He's in denial," Simmons murmured.

"This is so sad," Grif agreed with Simmons.

"Now listen. The present has been destroyed, it no longer exists! We are in the future," Sarge tried to explain to Tucker, only to confuse him, as well as the two women, more.

"Aaahhhhoh that makes no sense!" Tucker yelled, and Tali could practically picture his arms flailing wildly.

"I'm currently working on a short film to explain it," Donut informed them proudly, "Tom Cruise has the script, and I hear he's very interested."

 _:Alright. This is dumb. Let's try and get their attention:_ April suggested.

Tali sighed, _:Everything about the Reds and Blues is dumb…:_

"You're telling me a bomb sent us into the future," Tucker recapped.

"Yeah. You see, luckily Church was facing forward when the bomb went off and we were standing in front of him, so that sent us forward in the future," Simmons explained.

Tali managed a cough and pried her eyes open, getting everyone's attention, "You're always facing forward. There's no luck about it," She said through a drowsy voice, blinking and seeing April sprawled out beside her. Tali shoved her weakly, muttering, "Get up, sleepyhead."

"No shoving, give me a minute… my head fuckin' hurts," April groaned, slowly sitting up.

"About time you two woke up," Grif crossed his arms, "And here people thought I was lazy."

"Hey Grif? I don't need to be fully awake to kill you," Tali threatened lowly, seeing the orange soldier tense immediately.

"...You just might have potential, Lady Green," Sarge complimented in his usual weird way.

Tali narrowed her eyes, "Um…"

"See, even Sarge doesn't think you're a Blue, Tali. Church was right," Tucker grinned.

"I'm not even going to try," Tali sighed.

"Speaking of Church, what happened to him? Is he here?" April asked, standing up.

"Hmm… never really thought about him," Sarge tilted his head up in thought.

"Oh… yeah… I guess he's dead," Simmons concluded after a moment.

"Sounds good to me. Let's go with that," Sarge shrugged.

"He could be hurt, and trapped in the present!" Tucker exclaimed.

"That's impossible, son. The present doesn't exist anymore! What you're proposing just isn't very good science," Sarge retorted while April helped Tali to her feet.

"Don't you see? If Church was facing forward during the explosion, and that blew us into the future, that could mean he was blown backward into the… _oh_ , no!" Tucker figured something out then.

"Blown backwards into what? The wall? The broom closet?" Sarge questioned.

"What? No. I mean the past!" Tucker exclaimed, and they all went silent.

April placed her hands on her helmet, "Well, this is just a wonderful thing to wake up to."

…

…

…

Not long after Tali and April woke up, the Reds and Blues split up to try and find anything that would help them survive in this desert. However, this quickly surmounted to Grif going on about the end of the world, and this caused April tio hold down her amused laugh for the upteenth time while Tucker and Tali just looked at each other exasperatedly.

"They destroyed it all Simmons. Those damn stupid bastards. The _blew it all up_!" Grif cried, "Damn them! Damn them to hell! Those DAMN DIRTY APES!"

"Calm down, Grif. We don't know that the whole world is like this," Simmons tried to show logic to him.

"Yes it is," Grif insisted, "They destroyed it all. I guess the society of man just wasn't meant to survive."

"Hey, how about this? How about we explore more than two square miles _before_ we jump to any conclusions," Simmons suggested dryly, fed up with Grif's antics.

"It was definitely nuclear weapons, that's what did it," Grif continued, ignoring Simmons suggestion, "And the explosions caused massive power outages that cause the failsafes to fail, which will lead to super-bacteria from a secret lab–"

"I could shoot him. Nobody would mind," Tali muttered to herself, Tucker overhearing and chuckling.

"–that caused a huge plague and the victims who died rose from the dead twelve hours later to feast on human flesh."

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous…" April trailed off.

"A handful of gritty survivors who all try to survive keep the legions of radioactive undead at bay, using their wit, and inexplicable comprehension of agricultural engineering. Everything was looking good. And that's when the meteor hit."

"I don't think I've ever heard Grif talk so much," Tucker whispered to Tali, "…and I really want to shut him up."

"You have a gun, Tucker," Tali said back bluntly.

"I think you just quoted every crappy Hollywood apocalypse movie _ever_ ," Simmons stated, a little dumbfounded.

"Nah, Hollywood doesn't understand apocalypse," Tucker denied, "They think that just one thing from everyday life goes away and that changes everything. Like in _Road Warrior_ it was gas and in _Water World_ it was land."

"What went away in _The Matrix_?" Simmons questioned.

"Sunlight," Tucker answered simply.

"I thought the missing element was plot," Grif mused.

"I'm talking about Matrix One."

"Oh, right."

"But still, this is just one world in an entire universe," April argued with Grif's logic, "Even if this world is dead, that doesn't mean the entire population of humanity is also wiped out. Not because of one bomb in some asshole robot's gut."

"Don't bring your flawed logic into this!" Grif exclaimed before turning to Simmons, "Face it, Simmons. The age of man is done."

"Not necessarily," Tucker said in a sly tone, "Re-population is always an option…"

Tali glared at him through her tinted visor, but he seemed unperturbed. He matched her glare with what she assumed was probably a flirty look, and she growled.

"See? She's a feisty one, so the kids'll be nice and strong," Tucker continued unabashedly.

"Y'know, the world, as Grif says, is already fucked. So I could just kill you right now and it wouldn't matter," Tali said through gritted teeth.

"But you won't," Tucker retorted smugly, "Face it; I'm irresistable."

"Leaving," Tali threw up her arms and walked in the direction the others went.

April smiled underneath her helmet and said, "Notice that she didn't say no."

" _April_!"

"The only problem would be with April. I mean, would we want dumb kids, lazy kids, or kids that kiss ass?" Tucker mused aloud, and April suddenly felt her cheeks get very hot.

"Uh, I'm just gonna… Y'know… yeah…" and she ran off after Tali.

"…You just ran off the only two girls that have been to this canyon in the span of five seconds. That's impressive," Grif commented.

"What about Tex? She was a girl… right?" Simmons suddenly looked unsure.

"Tex was half-woman, half-shark, so I don't think she counts," Tucker denied, "Besides, Tex has tried to kill all of us at some point, so I think she is out of the equation."

…

…

…

After finding a wrecked jeep, Sarge had been working non-stop to see if he could get it up and running again. Grif was sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for Sarge's say to test the engine, while Donut was assisting Sarge underneath the car. Now when we say _assist_ …

"Hey Sarge, what's that metal thing that looks like a bunny? Oooh-oooh, and what's that other thing that looks like a soup can?"

"Don't touch anything, Donut! Okay fellas, I think I got it, give 'er a crank!… guys?… hey, what in tarnation are you guys doing up there?"

While this was occurring, this argument was also occurring.

"No, I don't think getting new rims for the jeep is a good idea," Simmons shook his head.

"Oh _come on_!" Grif hit the steering wheel with his hand, "If we all kick in, we could get some spinners, some kick ass subs, _hydraulics_!"

"I'm in!" Tucker raised a hand.

"Why?" Simmons turned to him.

"For style?" Grif offered, giving Simmons a 'duh' look.

"For chicks!" Tucker added.

"What chicks? The only chicks we know of are sitting _right there_!" Simmons motioned to the two women sitting in the sand.

"Yeah, so why don't we ask them if they would be all for a pimped out ride. How 'bout it, Tali?" Tucker spread his arms out.

"Yeah Simmons, since when are you such a pessimist?" Grif questioned accusingly.

"And we are literally the last men on Earth for them!" Tucker continued on.

"They do realize that we can hear them right?" April whispered to Tali.

"He's right," Grif backed Tucker up.

"All my life I've heard girls tell me, 'not if you're the last man on earth', hahaha! And that may be truth, but let's see what happens when I'm the last man on earth with a pimped out ride, bitch!" Tucker explained his logic.

"So since girls have always told you this, have you ever actually _been_ with a girl, Tucker?" Tali raised a brow.

" _Hey_! Don't twist my words woman!" Tucker pointed at her, "Come on baby, I'm the last man on earth–"

"For the love of god, shut up!"

"You know what'll make me shut up? All I'm askin–"

"I will fucking _cut_ you," Tali yelled, trying to hold back from reaching for her light sword.

"You know, you still didn't fulfill Donut's dare."

" _Tucker_ —"

" _If_ you ladies are through gossiping," Sarge raised his voice over what was most likely going to become an explosive argument, "I could use some help fixing the vehicle."

"Oh, right," Grif started the engine and tried to move forward, only for the engine to sputter and die again.

"Donut, are you okay?" Sarge asked.

"I was just petting the bunny… and it went into the soup can… and part of my hand went with it…" Donut said shakily, trying to not cry out at the pain.

Sarge grumbled while Tucker quipped, "Bunny and hand soup! Just like mom used to make."

Simmons went to climb into the passenger side when Grif shot out a hand to stop him, "Hey, what're you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting in the jeep!" Simmons said in confusion.

"What are we, on a date? Get in the back."

"Oh, you're so insecure," Simmons grumbled, but stepped back from the passenger side.

"Huh. You were right Tucker," Tali mused, "They _do_ act like an old married couple."

Grif and Simmons both stared at her before uttering in freaky unison, "What the fuck?" And then, in another bout of freaky unison, they turned to Tucker, "The fuck, dude?!"

"Hey man, what else was I supposed to do in that fucking canyon? Play 'I Spy'? Nothing fucking happened in that canyon!" Tucker threw his arms out before plopping down in the sand beside Tali, who shot him a look that was anything but amused, "But anyway...about that dare."

Tali planted her palm on his visor before pushing him back, and his back hit the sand, "In your dreams, Lavernius."

"Oh, that's already been ongoing babe," Tucker leaned close and whispered, and Tali scowled as April muffled a giggle behind her.

Grif and Simmons were looking between Tali and Tucker oddly while Tali braced her hands behind her, holding up her upper torso as she lent back, "That's...slightly disturbing, considering we share a bed."

"Bow chica bow wow!"

"You two share a room?" Grif asked in disbelief, "And you're not dating?"

"There wasn't enough rooms for all of the Blues in the base," Tali defended, crossing her arms and looking at April, "Do you have to share rooms at Red base?"

"Well," April began with a sly look, "Grif and Simmons share a room, and so do Donut and I. But we don't share a _bed_. That's a whole new level entirely."

"Oh fuck you April. I'm your big sister, you're supposed to have my back."

"I speak from experience when I say that is absolutely not true," Grif raised a finger in the air before looking at April, "I got your back on this, April."

"Will you two shut up? We need to get this thing fixed!" Sarge barked.

"I'm still dizzy, Sarge!"

"Ah, that's just blood loss. You'll make new blood; you just need some orange juice!"

"What's the rush in getting this thing fixed anyway?" Tucker asked.

"Listen dirtbag. I know on Blue team you like to lollygag a bit–"

"There is no Blue team," Tucker cut Sarge off, "It's all a lie. Red and Blue are the same!"

"Ah, don't start that crap again," Grif complained.

"You sound like a conspiracy nut when you talk about that stuff," Simmons added, leaning against the jeep, "The government put a chip in my brain!"

"The president can hear my thoughts!"

"We never landed on the sun!"

"Actually Donut, that one's true," April piped up, "You see, technically the sun doesn't have a solid surface, and is so hot that any ships that got near would disintegrate before they even came close to landing on it."

"Really?" Grif asked in surprise, "well, what about the government putting fluoride in our water supply?"

"That's true as well," Tali mentioned from her seated spot in the shade.

"Huh. No wonder I listen to so much pop music."

"We're fixing the jeep because we need to be prepared. Just like our enemies are no doubt preparing to attack us at any moment!" Sarge predicted.

"But you guys think I'm your enemy and I'm not preparing to do anything… except get l-a-i-d," Tucker said a little slyly, shooting another look at the girls and only saw Tali give him the finger.

The men of Red team stared blankly at the cyan soldier, and after a moment, Tucker said, "Laid," in confirmation.

"Yeah we can spell," Grif snapped, "We just thought that was fucking weak."

…

…

…

April reclined in the passenger seat with a sigh, and Tali sat in the driver's seat beside her, Grif and Simmons having went to talk to Sarge about whether or not they could take the jeep out for patrol.

"I have no clue why he wanted her despite him not being able to activate the chip or anything. The only way for that to happen is if he was in possession of her body, and to my knowledge, the Director still has that kept locked up somewhere," Tali rested her chin on her hand, helmet on her lap and her elbow resting on top of it. She had just explained what exactly California had wanted and what she learned during her fight with him.

"I dunno. Maybe he doesn't know that he needs her body. Hey...do you think he's working with Wyoming and Omega?" April asked, drumming her fingers on her leg.

"It'd be too much of a coincidence for him not to be," Tali reasoned, raising her other hand to make her point, "But why does he suddenly want to find her _now_? I mean, it's been a couple years."

"Maybe he just found out that you had the chip," April suggested, shrugging, "Do you have any leads on where she is?"

"No, nothing. The most I can do at this point is hold onto her chip and keep searching for another way to activate her," Tali sighed, "I just want to help her so bad. And I want to find Scout, but she could be anywhere in the galaxy since CT took her to god knows where. Also, I want to know where everyone else is. Like York and North, and how Wash is doing. Oh, York must be worried _sick_ about Libby!"

"Hey hey hey!" April placed her hands on top of Tali's, and Tali just noticed then she was pulling at her hair, "Let's not think about that right now. There's nothing we can do about it. What's important is that we found each other."

"Yeah… yeah you're right," Tali exhaled, smiling at her younger sister, "Thanks, April."

"Hey, what am I here for?" April asked rhetorically while her hands reached for her helmet, and she pulled it off with a deep inhale of air, "Air that hasn't gone through the filter! Amazing."

Tali smiled at her sister, shaking her head a bit at her genuine happiness. She had large eyes that shone a slate grey, and long, curly hair that was a dark brown with caramel highlights throughout it. Her full lips had a clear gloss over them, and dark grey eye shadow made her eyes pop.

"When the hell did you find time to put on makeup?" Tali asked with a small chuckle, and April rolled her eyes.

"Dunno. I just decided to experiment one day," She said with a small wave of her hand, and her hair, that was in a high ponytail on her head, swayed side to side, the curls making it bounce up and down.

"Well you did a nice job. You look good, April."

"Thanks," April twirled her hair in between her fingers, "…you're the first one to see it."

"You mean you haven't shown your face to the Reds yet?" Tali asked in surprise.

"Nah. I mostly kept to myself and was always in armor. Donut tried to take off my helmet once, but I avoided that situation with a well crafted lie," April shrugged, "I dunno. You're the only one to see my face besides Tex and Florida, and I've always made a point to hide my face. Just instinct by now."

Tali let a small 'hmph' out in thought, before jumping out, "Well, have fun on your patrol. I gotta make sure Michael doesn't try and eat his bullets or something."

"I'm sure Michael can be left alone for a couple hours, Tali. You know, you really should rest up. You look beat, not to mention you still have a hole in your shoulder" April mentioned, giving her a concerned once over.

"I'll sleep when we actually have a plan. For now, I'll just stick to running on what little energy I have left," Tali shrugged, not seeming to be concerned despite the obvious bags under her eyes, "And besides, my armor locked off my shoulder, so no blood is being lost. Not like we have a medkit or anything around here or anything."

"Because that's totally sanitary to keep the blood in," April said monotonically.

Tali sighed as she jogged away from the jeep, searching for the blue idiot.

…

…

…

"Would you fucking watch it?!" Simmons shrieked from the back, holding onto the gun turret for dear life.

"I'm. Trying!" Grif replied, turning the steering wheel frantically.

"Maybe you shouldn't have tried to use that slanted pillar as a ramp!" April said dryly as they zoomed over another hill, all of them screaming as the jeep hit the ground heavily, April herself being thrown into the air, " _HOLY SHIT WE'RE GONNA DIE_!"

"No, we're fine, we're fine!" Grif insisted, reaching out with one arm and pulling April back into her seat, "Just hold onto the seat or something!"

"That's what I was doing when I was flung up five feet!" April retorted.

"Then hold onto me, I dunno!" Grif swerved the car again.

" _That sounds weird_!" Simmons commented from the back.

" _CLIFF_! _BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE!_ " April suddenly yelled, Grif hitting the brakes as hard as he could.

The jeep skidded, the back of it swinging so the passenger's side would be the first to go over the cliff, and they all screamed as the cliff got closer and closer… and then it stopped.

"Grif," April began calmly, before exploding, " _WE ARE NOT ONE INCH FROM THE EDGE_!"

"Sorry, damn!" He held his arms up in surrender.

"Okay, you're not driving anymore. April?" Simmons prompted.

"What? No no, I'm good– Y'know, fine. Grif's fine to drive!" April stuttered, smiling falsely behind her helmet.

Grif and Simmons exchanged a look, and Grif said, "Do you… not know how to drive, April?" He sounded amused.

"No– I mean, yes. I mean… _fuck_ ," April cursed herself, "Yeah, of course I know how to drive!"

"Uh-Huh…" Simmons deadpanned.

"Then what's the problem?" Grif taunted, sounding smug.

"I just… you know… oh, fuck you guys!" April crossed her arms and looked the other way, pouting.

"Wow… she actually doesn't know something," Simmons commented, sounding suspiciously happy.

"Are you sure she can even attempt to drive? I mean, will her feet be able to reach the pedals?" Grif joked through his laughter.

April growled uncharacteristically, and hissed, " _Run_."

"Huh– oh _FUCK, EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF_!"

" _THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT GRIF_!"

" _MY FAULT? HOW IS IT– APRIL NO!_ "

And for two hours, Grif and Simmons were chased around the sandy plain by an enraged armored woman.

…

…

…

"Hey Tucker, have you seen Michael around anywhere?" Tali asked as she jogged up to the teal armored soldier.

"I dunno. He's probably off taking a nap or fantasizing about being a spy with Donut," Tucker shrugged, looking bored as he picked up handfuls of sand and let it run in between his fingers.

Tali sighed, "So you have no clue where he is."

"Uh, no?"

"Fucking perfect…" Tali mumbled, tearing off her helmet and looking upwards.

"What's wrong? You've been really jumpy ever since you woke up," Tucker questioned in concern, his own helmet by his feet and him patting the space beside him, "Just relax for a minute, would you?"

She looked torn, running a hand through her hair and looking around. She _was_ pretty tired…

Grumbling to herself, she sat in the sand beside him, leaning against the rock behind them. She had to admit that it felt good to sit down, and she resisted a content sigh, merely exhaling slowly instead. The movement in the corner of her eye told her he caught the action anyway.

"See? Was that so hard?" Tucker asked with an easy grin, "Technically, we don't even have orders anymore, so we can do whatever the fuck we want!"

"No, we really can't!" Tali suddenly yelled, startling him, "If we survived, there's a good chance our enemies survived, and that includes Wyoming–"

"We can fight Wyoming," Tucker broke in.

"No you _can't_ ," Tali stressed, "I don't even know that _I_ can. Not because he's better than me, but because he was my _friend,_ and now he's–" Tali stopped, trying to calm herself, "He was always about the job. He may be a fucking annoying asshole, but his focus was the job, and he did his job damn good. If he's after you…"

She left the statement in the air, and Tucker filled in the blank for her, "…He's not gonna stop chasing me down until he's dead, isn't he?"

She shook her head no, and squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew Tucker was staring, but she didn't care at the moment. Her job was to protect Church, and now he was in the past apparently (she's suddenly glad she spotted the other Church those couple times in the canyon so she understood), and the other freelancers threw a wrench into helping her brother at all.

 _Fuck, she sucked at her job, and she needed to vent dammit_!

"I already failed at protecting Church. If I can't protect my own brother, how am I going to protect you?"

Tucker contemplated this for a moment before slinging an arm around her shoulders, rocking her a bit, "Hey, I managed to survive in that canyon for a while when you were all in the teleporter. I'm sure I could survive longer if needed."

"You had Tex with you. And a _tank_ ," Tali retorted.

"Well… yeah," Tucker said slowly, "But even when Wyoming had the chance, he didn't kill me. Either that or he just really sucks at aiming."

"I… I dunno," Tali admitted, "I stopped trying to understand the British idiot a while ago," She sighed then, "I wish Libby and York were here. They'd know what to do."

"York?"

"Libby's boyfriend. She was with him ever since–… she was with him all her life," She caught herself, smiling sadly at the memory.

"Tali, I want you to be honest with me," Tucker said suddenly, and she looked at him quizzically.

"Uh… what's your question?" She asked hesitantly.

"You're not actually a Blue. You're a Freelancer, like Tex," He stated factually, staring at her challengingly.

"…Yes," She replied after a moment, knowing she had told him this before, "Me and my sisters."

"So since you're a Freelancer, and Wyoming's a Freelancer, why are you going against him to help me?" Tucker asked.

"That's simple. Blood Gulch and its soldiers are my responsibility to protect. If someone was to threaten you, Michael, anyone, then my orders are to defend you with my life," Tali said factually, "If Tex had tried to kill you? I would've fought against her until either she was dead or I was."

"Including the Reds?" Tucker pressed.

Tali froze for a moment, confliction in her features. After a moment of debate, she sighed and told the truth, "Yes."

"So I was right? There is no Red vs Blue conflict?"

She said an affirmative again, looking apologetic, "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry, you were just following orders, like us," Tucker shook his head, though he was more angry at Command rather than her, "It's just a punch to the face, that the couple years we spent fighting was all for nothing. I mean, what were we even there for?"

"To protect Church," She informed him without thinking, "Though I don't know if that's necessary now, since he's gone."

Seeing that she was beating herself up over the fact, Tucker decided not to question her anymore, despite how much he wanted answers. Instead, he tried his best to think of something that would cheer her up a bit.

"Fighting against Tex… Huh, that's suicidal."

Tali blinked, turning to look at him, "Uhm… probably."

Tucker nodded, looking out in the distance, before stating, "I could've taken her."

Before Tali could stop herself, she snorted, jolting a bit, "Oh really?"

"Hell yeah. I may use a nuke, but I totally could beat her."

Tali burst out laughing, her dark green hair hiding her face from view as she hunched over, and Tucker let out a few chuckles along with her. After she regained control of herself, she leaned back again and unconsciously rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know Tucker, when you're not talking about women, you're a pretty cool guy," She admitted without thinking, grinning.

"Eh, what can I say?" Tucker smirked cheekily, "I'm a man of many talents… _if_ you know what I mean," He added slyly.

"Aaaand you're back," Tali chuckled good naturedly, before wincing at the strain it did on her wound.

"Oh hold up a second," Tucker suddenly looked serious, gold eyes trained on her shoulder, "You never took care of that injury you got, did you?"

"Tucker, it's not a big deal—"

"The fuck do you mean? Your shoulder was _impaled_ with an icicle!" Tucker glared before turning towards her fully and yanking off the shoulder pad covering the wound before she could do anything.

"What the fuck, Tucker?!" Tali tried to swat his hands away.

"No, you don't get to pretend that a hole in your shoulder is fine," Tucker said sternly, "I have enough biofoam on me, now just sit still and let me take care of you."

Tali stared at him blankly as his glare turned slowly into a confused look. _Did he really not realize what he just said? Ugh, she was starting to think like him now, with her mind in the gutter._

"You're not going to say it?"

"Say what?"

Tali rolled her eyes, "You know, your stupid catchphrase."

"Okay, one, my catchphrase is amazing. Two, this is actually serious and I want to fix it before anything else decides to distract us," Tucker then paused for a moment, "Though, I can certainly take care of you in _other_ ways too, bow chica bow wow!"

"And there it is," Tali sighed, giving up and letting Tucker treat the wound on her shoulder, "You know I was almost worried there for a second, Tucker. I hadn't heard any innuendos in the span of five minutes and I thought you were becoming gravely ill."

"Please, as if something like cancer would stop me from trying to make you blush," Tucker grinned and winked at Tali, his grin widening when he noticed the faint redness in her cheeks, " _Juuuust_ like that."

Tali simply huffed at that, waiting impatiently for Tucker to seal the wound. He did so rather quickly, and she failed to notice the private message that he had received from a certain concerned little sister. Tucker smirked at the message before closing it, reconnecting Tali's shoulder pad to her armor before wrapping an arm around her again and pulling her to his side. Tali made a confused noise at this, and she quirked an eyebrow.

"Tucker. What are you doing?"

"Figured I'm a pretty good pillow to nap on," Tucker shrugged nonchalantly, and she made an annoyed noise in the back of her throat.

"You too? Listen, I don't need sleep. I'm perfectly fine."

"Uh-huh. Look, I'll wake you up if anything happens, okay? It's obvious you need some shut eye."

"Tucker, I don't-" _Oh fuck._

And that was when Tali felt gloved fingers card through her hair gently, scraping across her scalp and sending shivers down her spine. Against her will, she felt herself be pulled from her surroundings, and unconsciously moved closer to him. Only one person knew that playing with her hair would make her drowsy, and that one person couldn't even _speak_. How the hell had Tucker figured it out in the span of two seconds?

 _Damn him,_ was her last coherent thought before she slipped into a dream.

…

…

…

About fifteen minutes after Tali fell asleep, Tucker saw the Warthog drive up next to him, Caboose and Donut running alongside it.

"Hey guys! Tex contacted us, she needs our– what the hell?" Simmons stopped, taking in the two Blues on the ground.

"Hey, nice work Tucker. You actually found a way to get her to sleep," April praised him in relief, jumping out of the passengers seat.

Caboose gasped, shushing them both, "Miss Tali is in nap time right now. We have to be _very quiet_."

"Yeah, we get it Caboose," Tucker rolled his eyes.

"How'd you get her to actually get some sleep?" April asked incredulously, kneeling down beside them.

"I just did this," Tucker nodded his head to the hand that was still playing with Tali's hair.

"Huh. Guess it runs in the family," April remarked before standing, "Well, we have to get to Tex, and we only have a three seater jeep. Now that we're all together, we should probably think of a way to make that work with eight people."

"I'm driving. That's already said and done," Grif claimed from the driver's seat.

"I guess that some of us will have to sit in the laps of someone else, while the rest cram into the back," Donut suggested cheerily, "Only there isn't much room in those front seats…"

"Pfft, that'll be difficult with the fatass in the drivers seat," Simmons mumbled.

"As much as I detest the idea, Donut has a point. Now, who out of all of us would fit easily in the front with another person?" Sarge asked the group, and all eyes fell on the two (admittedly tiny) women.

"Is this another joke about my height?" April bit out, body lines rigid.

"No no no!" Simmons raised his hands in surrender, "We learned the first time. I'd rather keep my blood _in_ my body, thanks."

Since April was the only one of the two awake to speak, she sighed and grumbled, "Fine."

"I guess Tucker can be in the passenger seat. Tali's already half on top of him," Grif remarked in amusement, giving the soldier in question a thumbs up.

Tucker grinned back, sliding his helmet over his head and picking Tali up bridal style, "Hey, I ain't complainin'," He shrugged, walking over to the jeep and getting in the passenger seat, situating Tali comfortably on his lap and resuming petting her hair to keep her still.

"Alright ladies. Pile into the back," Sarge corralled Caboose and Donut, letting them clamber into the back with Simmons before climbing in himself, their legs overlapping each other awkwardly.

That left April to sit in the driver's seat… where Grif was currently.

It was easier for Tucker and Tali to fit in the passenger side since there was no steering wheel, and not to mention Tali was already curled into a ball since she was cuddled up to Tucker (yes, she did say Tali cuddled. She was hardcore shipping those two right now). With Grif, on the other hand, April had to sit with her legs dangling out the side and an arm wrapped around his neck to make sure she wouldn't fall out.

"Well this isn't going to be difficult at all," Grif commented dryly, reaching around April to grip the steering wheel.

"You can see alright?" April questioned in concern, trying to shift to make his view out the windshield better.

"Uh, yeah 'cause that's totally the problem. Just… don't try to move too much," Grif said through a strained voice as he started up the jeep.

"Uh… okay?" She replied, not sure why Tucker was stifling a laugh.

"If you're all done gabbing up there," Sarge called back, a little annoyed, "I'd like to get there before O'Malley decides to _destroy the universe_!"

"Alright alright, I'm going!" Grif yelled back, pushing down on the accelerator.

…

…

…

To say Tex was surprised when the jeep showed up with four men crammed in the back and her two hybrid friends in the laps of Grif and Tucker would be a massive understatement.

"Uhm… April? What're you doing?" Tex asked slowly as she watched the woman in question hop out.

"What? There's eight of us and only three seats. We had to improvise," And then she leaned in conspiratorially, "And you should see Tali right now."

Tex raised a brow and looked expectantly to where April was pointing, and she saw (her jaw nearly dropped at this) the green haired maniac sound asleep, in Tucker's arms.

"Holy shit," was all she mustered to say.

"I was surprised as much as you are, believe me," April giggled, the other soldiers jumping out of the jeep and forming a half circle around Tex. Tucker laid Tali down on a nearby rock.

"What'd ya find, Tex?" Sarge questioned, all business.

"Well, O'Malley's holed up in this fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for days now, and he's got some help. One of those religious nuts you guys picked up," Tex informed them.

"Oh, I like them… they were funny," Caboose said cheerily.

Tucker looked over at the blue idiot incredulously, sitting beside a sleeping Tali, "Caboose, they tried to kill you for a _flag_."

"I try not to remember the bad things about people."

"That's all they ever did, there were no good things!" Tucker exclaimed, only to be distracted when Tali shifted and grumbled a bit, "Relax, just keep sleeping."

"I have a really bad memory– oh, look a beach!" Caboose suddenly exclaimed, facing the large body of water.

"Shut up, Caboose," Sarge sighed wearily before turning back to Tex, "What do we have to do?"

"Well, first we have to breach the outer wall–"

"Oh, I love breaching!" Okay, Caboose.

"–then we have to get past another wall–"

"Two walls?" Grif asked, before shaking his head, "Some people are so materialistic."

Tex's fingers twitched when she was interrupted again, "The second wall has a guard tower, and this enormous razor sharp spinning blade–"

"What, that thing?" Simmons pointed, not noticing how Tex's hand coiled into a fist, "It's spinning at like two miles an hour!"

"I didn't say it would be hard to get past," Tex snapped before continuing, "After that we have to get past the gun turrets, and break into the building."

"And then we attack O'Malley," Sarge added blood thirstily, cocking his shotgun.

"No," Tex shook her head, stepping to the side and making an arm sweeping motion, "That's when we plant _this_."

April squinted, seeing a gunmetal green circular object sitting on a metallic 'X', a red circle spray painted on and what she assumed to be a display in the center for a timer. She nodded once, "That'll work."

"Um… May, I do not think that a volleyball will help against the mean person," Caboose said slowly, and she blinked in surprise when she thought she saw the words ' _Fuck Off_ ' flash on the display screen on the bomb for a split second.

"Sweetie, it's not a ball, it's a bomb," April told him, but he only looked more perplexed.

"We're planting a volley _bomb_?!"

"I scouted out a place where we can plant the bomb and take the whole place down. I marked the spot with a big 'X'," Tex continued with her explanation.

"You scouted it?" Tucker repeated.

"Yeah?" Tex confirmed in a questioning tone.

"Hold on, let me wrap my head around this," Tucker began, holding up one hand while the other was still entangled in Tali's hair (April thought it was kind of cute), "You got past the two walls, the huge spinning blade, the gun turrets, and made it all the way into the fortress, right?" Tucker waited until Tex nodded in agreement, "If you did all of that, why didn't you just plant the bomb _then_ instead of putting a big 'X' on the floor?"

Tex stared at him for a long moment, eventually sighing in defeat and looking down at her feet, "I can't carry it," She mumbled dejectedly.

" _What_?"

"What was that?"

"It's too heavy, okay? You happy?" Tex suddenly shouted, hands in the air, "I need one of you idiots to carry it. I don't have the upper body strength to lift it on my own."

Grif crossed his arms and said, "See? Girls act like they're so tough, but the minute they need someone to move a couch, who do they call?"

His question gave him two blank stares from Tex and April, and much to his horror, another green armored body that magically awoke in time to hear him say that walked up to him and tapped his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Grif, I don't think I heard that properly; Repeat that for me?" Tali asked in a sickly sweet voice, blinking up at him with a dangerous grin.

Grif looked around to his teammates, but they all looked just as terrified, and he squeaked pathetically, "Please don't kill me!"

"Ahhhh, go ahead and kill him," Sarge said nonchalantly as he strolled toward the bomb with confidence, "We can use his armor for spare parts. This thing don't look so heavy– _ehooooo_ that thing ain't movin'!"

"I can carry it," Caboose said with confidence.

"I guarantee you'll need at least two people," Tex warned, but Tucker dismissed her claim.

"No, it's true! He has crazy strength. Church and I think it's God's way of compensating," Tucker shrugged before chuckling slightly, "One time, he managed to lift the couch in the rec room, and with Tali and Church sitting on it!"

"Ugh, please don't remind me of that day," Tali groaned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Great Paul's Bunions! He's like an ox!" Sarge exclaimed as he watched Caboose lift the bomb into his arms.

"But I don't have horns… or lumberjack friends!" Caboose mentioned through a strained voice.

"Come on, there's no way it could be that bad!" Grif exclaimed, "Here, let me give it a AARGH!" A loud thump was heard, and Grif rose to his feet unsteadily, "Ugh, okay, you can carry it."

"Alright, then we'll storm in there, blow up O'Malley, leave Grif for dead, and maybe find some clues about what happened to Church and Lopez," Sarge summed up.

"You mean your robot?" Tex questioned, "He's in there with him."

"Ah, fudge bumps. That puts a wrench in the plan then," Sarge mumbled, when something finally registered to Tali.

"Wait a second, how did we even get here?" She looked around confusedly, seeing how Tucker inched out of her view, "…Tucker, what did you do?"

"Why do you assume that _I_ did something?" He rushed out, jumping back a bit.

"Because you're suddenly on edge," She replied flatly.

"While you were sleeping we drove here. That's it!" He exclaimed a little too quickly.

"And how did we all fit into the _three seater?_ "

"Uhhhh…"

"Well, you were sitting in Tucker's lap," Grif mentioned, a little too chipper, and she glared at the teal soldier.

" _What_?!"

" _Oh, thanks a lot, asshole_!" Tucker yelled at the orange soldier, Tali being held back by both April and Tex.

 _:Hey, chill sis! You two looked cute:_ April chirped in amusement.

 _:I'm going to kill all of you:_ Tali replied flatly.

...

...

...

 _I love writing Tucker and Tali. It's so much fun._

 _Oh, if there are any RWBY fans out there, I'm writing for the rather rare pairing of RubyxMercury, so check it out if you'd like!_

 _Happy writing to all! Lonessa out :)_


	13. Andy the Flirty Bomb

After a long discussion pertaining to Lopez's head, a handful of ridiculous plans created by Sarge that all somehow managed to weasel in an elaborate demise for Grif, and a briefing of what the _actual_ plan would be by Tex, they were split into teams. Sarge, Tali, Donut and Caboose were to infiltrate the building with the bomb, Tucker, Grif, April and Simmons were the 'bullet magnets', and Tex would look out above with a sniper rifle she happened to find (and snatched before Tucker could get his hands on it).

After Donut recommended for the third time that Tali would benefit more in her stature with lace undergarments (her low growling and itching trigger finger wasn't enough to perturb him), and Tucker commenting over the radio that he wouldn't mind seeing her in lace (April punched him in the arm for her; what an amazing sister), Sarge finally gave the order to move out.

"We're also in position," Sarge reported over the radio to the other group.

"Man, this is the easiest fortress invasion of all time!" Donut commented positively, while Caboose had other ideas.

"Maybe for you," He grunted, half bent over from the weight of the bomb, "This thing is heavy for me!"

"Hold on, Michael, we're almost there," Tali patted his shoulder, ignoring the tingling sensation at the back of her neck. O'Malley must be nearby if she was feeling another A.I. presence that wasn't April's.

"Uh, Sarge? I'm pretty sure that guy on the gun sees us," Donut said nervously, before yelling, "DUCK!"

When Caboose popped up to yell that he loved ducks, Tali tackled him to the ground just as the red zealot began firing at them, and distantly heard… someone yelling in Spanish?

" **That's right! How does it feel BITCHES!** " _Oh, hello Lopez. Love you too, buddy_.

A sniper shot sounded, and Lopez suddenly cried, " **FUCKING REALLY? I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BODY!** " And one of the gun turrets ceased firing.

"Michael, come on! While the zealot is firing at Donut and Sarge, let's sneak around the side!" Tali urged, and Caboose replied with a strained 'okay', stumbling after her.

…

…

…

"Can you get a good line of sight?" April asked as Tex peered through the scope.

Tex sighed in agitation, shaking her head, "No, let's move up," She stated, her and April beginning to move through the revolving cylinder.

"Okay, let's just, _wohoah, ahaahaa_!"

… _what kind of noise was that, Tucker?_

"Tucker? You okay down there?" April called, Tex peering down the hole beside her.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Can you give me a hand out of here?" Tucker looked up and asked.

Tex ran off with a parting statement that she was going to take out the other turret, and April stuck her head down into the opening, looking around.

"Uhm… I don't think I can reach you…" She trailed off, before seeing a pedestal with a familiar looking object, and what looked to be Sangheili written all around it on the walls, "Hey, you see that right there Tucker?" She pointed to the object.

"Uh… yeah. What is it?" He took a few cautious steps toward it.

April was suddenly glad she was so interested in alien artifacts and replied, "It's a weapon the Elites use. I heard that the first person that activates one of those swords is bound to it in a way."

"Bound to it? How?" Tucker asked, perplexed.

"Meaning that it's keyed to your DNA, and only you'd be able to use it. Could be a pretty kickass weapon in the right hands," She mentioned, smiling down at him, "Go ahead, pick it up. It could be useful against O'Malley."

Tucker did so, and the symbols on the wall flashed a bright blue, similar to Tucker's armor color. The weapon hummed, and the pedestal retracted back into the ground abruptly.

And then the sword came to life in his hands.

" _Holyfuckthisisawesome!_ " He rushed out, swinging it a few times as practice.

"That looks badass!" She agreed, laughing as he swung it around crazily and watched the blue glow light up the dark room.

"Now, this is fucking awesome, but how do I get out of here?" Tucker asked her, looking around.

"You see the holographic lock that appeared when you picked it up right there?" She nodded her head to the wall, "Slash it with the sword."

He did as instructed, and the wall opened up, a hidden door having been there. He made a small noise of surprise, before shouting up, "Thanks April!" and walking out into the sunlight.

"No problem!" She called back, running to catch up with Tex.

…

…

…

So, Caboose is going nuts over a recording that Church made on the computer, and the bomb was in place. _Okay_.

She wasn't too sure where Church was at the moment, but if her theory of Gamma sending Church back to their times in Blood Gulch are correct, then that's probably what Church was doing at the moment.

The only problem was _when_ Church would come back.

She was pondering this while sitting beside the bomb and waiting for the idiots to finish up whatever they were doing up there, when something weird happened. That tingling she got whenever another A.I. was around? It was really strong right now. Almost as if it was right beside her…

"Hey babe, you come around here often?"

She blinked slowly. And again. Again…

 _The bomb just fucking talked._

"Uhhh… what?" She looked at the bomb, knocking the side of her head a couple times and blinked hard, "I have to be hearing things. I thought the bomb talked for a second…"

"I prefer the name Andy, babe. And yes, I _am_ the bomb, and yes, I _talk_."

 _What… the… fuck…_

"Um. Right… hi?"

"What's your name, sweet cheeks? I told you mine," _Okay, a bomb is flirting with her. What the hell._

"Wha–Uh… Tali?" She responded, still completely befuddled.

"Did I break you or something?" The bomb, Andy, asked.

"I… yeah…"

And then the shutters closed and the entrances were blocked, and Andy suddenly stopped talking, a countdown timer on the display screen.

 _Oh what the fuck?!_

"Uh, Andy? Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop the timer…" No answer, "Well shit."

…

…

…

"Where do you think O'Malley went? I haven't seen him," April asked, looking around.

Tex opened her mouth to answer, but a crackle signaled that the radio came to life, Sarge speaking through it.

" _Tex, this is Sarge. Do not detonate the bomb!"_

The woman in black rolled her eyes and replied, "I don't have a detonator, it's on a timer."

 _"A countdown timer?"_ Grif asked in a panicked voice.

"No, a count _up_ timer," Tex said dryly, "It goes from one, to explode! Of course it's a countdown timer you idiot!"

"Why do you not want us to detonate the bomb?" April asked.

" _Because Tucker walked in here with his fucking sword thing and it locked up the base!"_ Tali yelled through the radio.

 _"It wasn't my fault, how the hell was I supposed to know?!"_ Tucker shouted back.

"Oh… well shit."

…

…

…

"I'm going to kill all of them before the bomb does," Tali said matter of factly, sitting by the computer above.

"Just three minutes left on the bomb!"

"Ahhhh we're all gonna explode and die!"

"Simmons, come over here and help me chew on this wall; we can eat our way out!"

 _:You better have something planned out there you two!:_ She yelled at the other two women through the link.

 _:I'm trying to see an entry point but everything's blocked! How much time left?:_ Tex replied.

 _:Three minutes! April, you see anything?… April?:_

 _:I_ _ **feel**_ _something!:_ April replied, sounding confused, _:Two something's! Two more A.I.'s in there with you!:_

 _:What? But there's only one, and that's Andy!:_ Tali puzzled.

 _:Tali, who's Andy?:_ Tex asked confusedly.

 _:No no, one of the A.I.'s is familiar to me… like I've met them before… GAMMA! GAMMA'S IN THERE!:_

 _:What? Oh, wait a minute…:_

Tali stood and sprinted to the computer, feeling a strong tingling in the back of her neck. He was here, she _knew_ it!

"It's true. Only a miracle can save us now," _Shut up Sarge_! _Oh you smug little A.I.–_

She hissed, "Gamma, stop the bomb!" No answer. A kick, "Gamma!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Tucker looked at her oddly.

"I'm talking–" _kick_ , "to the fucking–" _kick_ , "computer!… oh, _fuck you_ Gamma!"

"Why are all the chicks that are around completely batshit crazy?" Grif asked to the ceiling.

"I'm not crazy!" She shouted back, resuming in kicking the computer, " _GAMMA! THIS IS TAU. WAKE THE FUCK UP_!"

"Uh… Tali?" Tucker approached slowly.

 _:Oh, this is gold:_ Tex commented from the link.

Tali growled, "Come on man, speak up! At this point I don't care if it's one of your fucking knock knock jokes!"

"The fuck is she talking about?" Simmons looked to Grif and Sarge.

"Son, just let the lady vent," Sarge uttered grimly, holding his shotgun to his chest.

" _Gamma_!" She went to punch the screen when–

" _Knock knock."_

Tali bit back a groan, instead gritting her teeth and replying, "Who's there?"

" _Canoe._ "

"…Canoe who?"

" _Canoe stop hitting me you dirty dirty shisno?"_

"What in the fuck? She was right!" Tucker blanched, looking between her and the computer in shock.

"Maybe if you had just answered the fifty other times I fucking asked I would've stopped hitting you sooner," She retorted icily, crossing her arms.

 _"Good point. How are you doing, Taurus?"_

"Don't call me Taurus you asshole," She grumbled, scowling.

" _Don't call me Gamma, bitch."_

"Alright, can the bomb just explode already, this is getting weird," Grif sighed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

"Oh! I can work this into our spy movie Caboose! Agent Taurus and her two friends scour the universe, stumbling across old friends and enemies–"

"Shut up, Donut!" The three Reds yelled.

"Well what the fuck–"

"Hey everybody, what's up?" _The fuck? Did Church just appear out of thin air?_

 _"The look on your face right now is priceless. Haha."_

"Fuck you," Tali spit back.

"Church! I am so happy you made it in time to die with me. We will get to be smithereens together!" Caboose said happily, more than likely beaming at Church.

"That won't be necessary, Caboose," And then Church looked up to the computer she was standing in front of, "Hey Gary how ya doin'?"

" _Not bad. Although my static ion sub-matrix is a little itchy. How have you been, Church_?"

" _You changed your name to Gary?!_ " Tali screeched.

" _Hey. Speak for yourself, Tali._ "

"I've been good, thanks for askin'. Can you do me a favor? Can you shut off the bomb please?" Church asked Gamma.

" _No problem_."

"Wow. I ask and you just don't–"

" _That is because you did not ask nicely._ "

Tali growled lowly, raising her hand to punch the screen again, before Tucker surged forward and held her back.

"Gary, you mean to tell us you could've shut off the bomb this entire time, and you didn't say anything? And don't say I didn't–"

" _You didn't ask_."

Sarge grumbled something not even close to english, and Church sighed in content.

"Man it is _really_ great to see you guys," He said happily, which was something she thought she would never describe Church.

"You seem like you're in a good mood," Tucker commented, completely blasé on the account that Tali was still struggling to hit the computer.

"I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker. No matter how bad things seem–"

"They could be worse," Caboose finished for him.

"Nope. No matter how bad they seem, they couldn't be any better, couldn't be any worse, because that's the way things fuckin' are, and you better get used to it Nancy," Church corrected, "Quit your bitchin'."

"Okay," Tali raised a brow, "So should I even ask what happened to you?"

"You want the long version or the short version?" He questioned back.

"I will take the easy version please," Caboose nodded his head.

"Oh I want the long version, but can you tell me in three parts?"

"Well, first things first… Tali, you were right," Church said gravely.

Tali stopped struggling in Tucker's hold, looking at him oddly, "About what?"

Church sighed, "Turns out I _am_ the team killing fucktard."

…

…

…

"Church! You're back!" April chirped, running up and hugging the possessed robot.

"Hey April," He replied fondly, patting her back gently.

"Ugh, weird…" Tucker muttered, receiving an elbow in the side from Tali.

"Anyway, where'd you get that thing, Tucker?" Church asked after a moment, nodding to the glowing sword in his hand.

"Right up there," Tucker gestured vaguely to a spot on the fortress.

"So… you went back in time and didn't change… _anything_ ," Caboose was still hung up on Church's story.

"Uh, yeah. I was just like a passive observer," Church confirmed.

"I would have tried to save your life… from me!"

"Yeah, I didn't think of that," Church replied flatly, turning back to Tucker, "Hey, Tucker, I don't think it's a good idea that you're keeping that thing."

"You're just pissed because you don't have one!" Tucker accused.

"No, you must have me confused with Tex. She's been staring at you nonstop since you found that thing," That prompted them to all turn to Tex, who was dead staring at the glowing alien weapon.

"…That's not true."

"You haven't taken your eyes off it!"

"Yes I have."

"Then why haven't you looked at me the entire time I've been talkin'?"

"I'm lookin atcha right now."

"No you're not!"

"I've already _seen_ you… not too impressed."

Throughout the entire conversation her eyes didn't move from the sword.

"Man," Tex stated with an amazed tone in her voice, "That thing is _really_ shiny."

"Yep."

"Stellar observation, Tex," Tali quipped, only to review a blind swat from Tex, who refused to look away from the sword.

"Tucker I still think…eh, the computer told me that thing is a very important relic for some ancient culture. I wouldn't go swinging it around like that," Church warned.

"Technically the sword is left for someone to find it, like a test or something. Tucker just happened to be the one that found it, so he aced the test as it were," April shrugged, glancing around the group.

"Yeah? What was the test for then?" Church wondered.

"Dunno. I'm not an alien expert," April shrugged.

"But you were… nevermind," Tucker sighed, shrugging at Tali's confused glance.

At that point, Donut walked up to them and began to divulge them in a long story about how he saved Christmas. Which included a biker Santa and a bunch of other things that she'd rather not remember.

These guys were gonna kill her one day.

…

…

…

After figuring out Donut was just distracting the Blues (and inadvertently distracting his fellow team member April), they ventured up onto the fortress to spy on the Reds. Which to be a little honest, was weird since April was still with them at the time. But apparently being Church's sister gave her reason to be there, so it wasn't mentioned.

"What if they're scheming?" Tucker proposed, only for it to be shot down by Tex.

"No, scheming looks different. That's definitely plotting. They're gonna try something."

"Why? I already told them red and blue are the same! It's all a conspiracy!" Tucker blurted out.

"And I told _you_ that's not true! Vic made it up to confuse us," Church explained in frustration.

"That just means he's a part of the conspiracy!" Tucker rebuttled.

"But _he's_ the one that told you that red and blue are the same."

" _Exactly._ "

Church paused for a moment, trying to wrap his head around what Tucker was saying, "Wait, are-are you talking about a conspiracy that red and blue are the same, or conspiracy that red and blue are different?"

" _Exactly_."

"Look; I don't care about red or blue. All I know is that those guys are up to something down there," Tex interrupted.

"Maybe they're planning to use the radio to beam secret messages into the fillings in my teeth!" Tucker suddenly theorized, much to everyone's confusion.

"Secret messages about _what_?!"

" _Exactly_."

"I honestly don't know if you're serious about this and are now equal with Michael's intelligence, or if you're just being a prick and trying to piss us off," Tali crossed her arms and scowled.

Tucker barely held back a chuckle and said, " _Exactly_."

Caboose suddenly popped up from the ramp, telling them, "They are probably trying to tune into the distress signal they heard on the radio."

"What makes you say that?" Church asked.

Caboose perked up, "Oh, I know all the details. They were in their car, the Baus Hog, when Simon heard a distress signal on the radio, and Gruff was in the backseat… with a monkey."

"Hmm, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say some of that is wrong," Tucker mused.

"How do you know all this Caboose?"

"Andy told me!"

 _Fucking flirting bomb can talk again. Just her luck._

"Andy? Who's Andy?" Church turned to Tucker, "Are you- are you Andy?"

"I'm not Andy," The teal soldier replied, "I'm Tucker!"

"I know that, what's your first name?"

"You seriously don't know?" April asked, perplexed, "Weren't you stationed with him for months?"

"His names Lavernius, dumbass," Tali sighed.

"Lavernius?" Church repeated, "Well then who's this Andy ki– wait a minute; are you black?"

"Way to prioritize, bro," Tali shook her head.

"Does it matter?" Tucker said as an answer.

"No. I'm just curious."

"Well then if it doesn't matter why are you curious?" Tucker questioned.

"I don't know, I guess that's just something I should've picked up on all this time," Church shrugged, still in a state of surprise.

"You know what else you should've picked up on? _My fucking first name_!"

…

…

…

"This… is Andy," Caboose presented the bomb to April, Tucker and Tex, "Andy this is Tex, Tucker and April. The black one is Tex, and the other black one is Tucker. The… uh… that colored person is April."

"It's Cinnamon and Prussian, but okay," April shrugged.

"Andy's the bomb?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

"Uhhh Andy prefers the term 'explosive american'…"

"Mhmm…" April crossed her arms and looked down at the bomb… Andy. She could feel the tingling in her neck, so yeah, Caboose was speaking truth.

"He told me what the Reds were up to. Didn't you Andy?" Caboose's voice turned slow and… well, idiotic sounding when he addressed Andy.

Andy didn't answer, content to let Caboose make a fool of himself, and the blue idiot continued.

"Yes. And then we talked about all our adventures. Did you know he used to know Sheila?! Isn't that right, Andy?" Caboose asked the bomb to back him up.

"… um, Caboose? Are you hearing the bomb talk right now…?" Tucker asked with hesitance.

"Say something, Andy," Caboose asked through gritted teeth, "You are embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

"Caboose, I think you're losing it," Tex said frankly.

"Uh, Tex? He's not joking," April whispered to her, "I can feel it."

"Oh. How the hell…?" Tex asked herself.

Tali walked in then, looking between the four of them and the bomb, before sighing and saying, "So… you guys talking with Andy?"

"More like Caboose is imagining a bomb talk to him and then playing it off, but… yeah," Tucker replied, but Andy suddenly… _lit up_.

"Tali! Babe! I knew you'd come around again. Looking sexy as ever!" Andy suddenly spouted, prompting another sigh from the woman in question.

Tucker looked between Andy and Tali for a long moment, before leaning in towards her and whispering, "Is that bomb fucking hitting on you?"

"It's gonna be a long day," Tali groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

…

…

…

"So you're trying to tell me that this bomb can talk?" Tucker repeated.

"I'm not telling you that," Caboose corrected, "He's telling you that."

"Yeah, and I'm standin' right here! You _can_ talk to me," Andy exclaimed, slightly peeved.

"If you could talk all this time, why didn't you just– wait, why am I talking to a bomb? I'm not doing this!" Tucker stopped himself midway.

"What? Am I not _good_ enough to talk to? Who do you think _you_ are? Some kind of 'too good to talk to a bomb' type?"

"Maybe it's a good idea _not_ to piss off the explosive device?" Church hinted, glaring at Tucker.

"I agree."

"I wasn't talking about you, Tex."

"Hey," Tex turned to the cobalt robot, hands clenched into fists, "Why don't you suck my–"

"Hey, did Gary ever say anything about the bomb that could talk?" Tucker asked, cutting off Tex's insult.

"Uh, just that this whole place is going to be destroyed by us, and that Andy here is probably the thing that does it," Church summed up.

"Oh… that's not good."

"I don't think so. Bunch'a shisno's if you ask me, and no one _did_ ask me which I find insulting–"

"Alright alright, calm down Andy, calm down–" Church attempted to soothe the bomb _and oh god this is weird_ –

"Don't tell me to calm down. I. Am. CALM!" Andy retorted hotly, most certainly not calm.

"Caboose. Calm this thing before it has a meltdown," Church hissed to the blue soldier.

"Andy… everyone here is your friend… and no one wants to hurt you," Caboose said slowly.

"Yeah, right."

"Come on, Andy! Think of a happy place! Now what makes you happy?" Caboose asked.

"Being in the middle of a huge EXPLOS–"

"Uh, yuh– uh no, no no, uhm, no very happy places, just the regular happy, uhm. Calm thoughts! Uh, waves hitting the beach, uh…" April looked to the others for help.

"Let's count backwards from ten!" Caboose cheered, "ten… nine… eight–"

"NO!"

"No. Counting. Caboose," Church said through gritted teeth.

"Uh… oh! You are in a cool river… where no one disturbs you, or calls you names… like Bomby, or… the Exploding Jerk. There are sheep nearby; the kind that don't blow up! You are happy… but not overly happy! Regular happy," _Smooth Caboose_.

"Just breathe in through your nose," Tex inhaled as reference, then exhaled, "And out through the mouth."

"Uh, maybe I can get some candles! Do you want some candles? Maybe some incense?" Church questioned.

" _April… what the fuck are you doing_?" Grif whispered to the red soldier, who looked over in alarm.

"Grif, just tell Sarge I'm working undercover or some shit, uh… I've got a bit of a problem right now!" She replied quietly, before turning back to Andy, "Just clear your mind, and let yourself relax… nothing wants to harm you, or harass you."

" _Okay, this is fucking weird. I'm leaving,"_ Grif finished his statement by silently walking out.

Tali tapped Tucker on the shoulder and whispered, "How long is this gonna go on?"

"I don't know," Tucker replied, "But I don't feel like moving… lest Andy decides to stop me from moving, if you know what I mean."

Stuck in a hostile situation with a talking bomb. Yup, this is blue team, alright.

…

…

…

"So we cool here?"

"I think we're finally calmed down," Tucker replied with evident relief in his voice.

"Yes. We are all better now, we are not mad, and we are definitely not thinking about exploding at all anymore," Caboose said the exact thing that was wrong, of course.

"Hey… are you talking about me?" Andy questioned harshly.

"What?" Church barked in panic, "No! Course not! We just wanna make sure that we're all happy, and that we're not upset in any way whatsoever."

"Don't say _we_. You really mean me. I mean… you. Which in this case, is me," Andy shot back.

"No no no, uh… we're uh… we're talkin' about Tex!" Church turned to Tex.

"Excuse me?" Tex said in a tight voice.

"Hey, you wanna die in an explosion?" Church asked rhetorically, "Play along… yeah, um. I don't know if you noticed, but she's kind of a bitch. Isn't that right Tex?"

" _Church_."

"I don't know…" Andy trailed off.

"Come on, Tex," Tucker hissed through gritted teeth.

Tex sighed, gripping her battle rifle tightly as she said, "Yeah, we're talking about me."

"It sounds like you're patronizing me."

"No really! It's me. I'm a bitch!" Tex replied false cheerily.

"Hehe, keep going," Church urged, very pleased with the conversation.

"And I need to be calmed down _all_ the time."

"Or what happens?" Church prompted.

"Or," Tex seemed to think for a moment, "else I get so mad, I kill people on my own team!" She made a pointed look at Church when she said this.

"…I see your point," Church said after a beat.

"Tell him about the moodiness. And the crankiness," Caboose urged.

"And let's not forget how you blew up a Pelican just because South made you angry," Tali mentioned through a smirk.

"Also, that one time when you nearly scared Maine to death with your murderous glare of doom followed by lots of grenades being thrown," April added unhelpfully.

"Also mention that you like to punch people in the head while they sleep!" Tucker shouted accusingly.

"That was you?!" Caboose cried, "I thought the tooth fairy was mad at me!"

"Wow…" Andy commented after a moment, "She seems like a real handful."

Tex stomped her foot, "Alright, listen you little noob firecracker–"

" _Woahwoahwoahwoahwoah_!" Church waved his arms wildly, "See what we mean Andy? Volatile."

"I'm not forgetting this, Church," Tex growled threateningly.

"You should sleep with your pillow on top… of your head…tonight!" Caboose suggested.

"Ha, a pillow isn't gonna stop her," Tali joked, "Hell, she might not even aim _there_."

"Yes, that's very funny. Make all the threats you want. As long as everyone is calm, and peaceful, and there's nothing else to make us excited… I don't care–"

At that very moment, a rocket zoomed and hit the wall right outside the doors, blue plasma firing everywhere. While Tex turned around in shock, Church just looked down at his feet and sighed.

"I could almost feel that coming _right_ as I finished the sentence."

"Yeah, congrats, Church. You jinxed us…" April shook her head.

"AHAHAHAHA! ATTACK MY ROBOT MINIONS!"

"…Was that O'Malley?" April asked.

Tali palmed her visor, "Fuck my life."

…

…

…

"Okay, Tucker and Tex are up there, Michael is with Andy, and Church is… somewhere… gah, why the fuck do we always split up when we're being attacked!?" Tali suddenly yelled.

"Hey, look at me! I don't even know where the hell my team is _at_ ," April retorted, ignoring the girly screams from Donut she heard outside.

"Alright alright, look, just go and make sure Michael doesn't say anything stupid and cause Andy to blow up… literally," Tali ordered.

"What about you?" April asked, "You're not just gonna hide out here, right?"

"April. There is a door right next to me. Outside that door is a bunch of robots firing at this location," Tali replied flatly, " _OF COURSE I'M NOT HIDING OUT_!"

"Alright, damn! I'm going!" April ran off.

Tali sighed irritably, flinching when blue plasma scorched the side of the wall she was nearby. Pushing off it, she planned to find a better weapon… and something crashed into her, promptly knocking her to the ground.

"Ow! What the fuck?" She cried, attempting to push the limp object off her and failing. She looked to the side and saw a glowing sword, and a teal armored hand.

"Tucker, get the fuck off me!"

"Having fun, Tali?" Tex quipped as she jumped down next to her, picking up the sword and clipping it to her thigh.

"Did you seriously knock Tucker out for a sword that you can't even use?" Tali rolled her eyes.

"What can I say? It's– wait a minute, 'can't even use'?" Tex stopped and held up a hand.

"April was telling me about it. It's keyed to Tucker's DNA. No one can use it but him," Tali explained.

Tex looked at the sword for a long moment, "Meh, gonna try it anyway," as she began to walk off.

"Hey! Can you, y'know, _get him off me_?" Tali called to her.

"Remember that fat joke you made?" Tex retorted.

Tali gaped, "That was over three months ago!… oh, you _bitch_!"

…

…

…

"Uh… so. Tali…"

"Shut the fuck up Church. He fell on me," Tali growled, Tucker's body still not budging.

"So why are you still laying there?" Church asked.

"Because Tucker is two times my _fucking size_! Now help me get him off!" Tali ordered harshly, all the while trying to roll him off her and failing miserably.

"I'm tempted to leave you like this."

"For the love of god, Church–"

"Hey, don't get into a hissy fit. I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind. Hell, he'll probably like it," Church shrugged, amusement in his voice.

"We are in the middle of a robot army invasion, and you're making jokes?!… and he's not my boyfriend!" Tali shouted.

Tucker suddenly groaned, and after he pushed himself up a bit, she kicked him off forcefully, "Fucking finally…"

"Tucker, you okay?" Church questioned as Tucker got up unsteadily to his feet.

"Ugh, goddammit… okay, new rule; we start rotating knock outs," Tucker stated, rubbing the side of his helmet, "Next time, it's your turn."

"How do you think I feel?" Tali got up and rubbed at her stomach, "I was being crushed by you for twenty minutes."

"Hey Tucker? Next time Caboose decides to go around team killing, you're up bud," Church sassed back.

"Maybe we should all stick to what we know best…" Tucker trailed off.

"Hey, where's your weapon?" Church suddenly looked slightly panicked, looking around wildly.

"You think she knocked me out for fun? This isn't Tuesday, dude," Tucker shook his head, swaying unsteadily, "She took it."

"Man, this is not gonna be good," Church sighed.

"For the last time guys; she can't use it!" Tali yelled, "DNA assholes! Tucker is the only person that can use it!"

"Oh… seriously?" Church asked before running off.

"I'm gonna… go lay down or something," Tali moaned, walking away.

…

…

…

"Where's Michael?" Tali asked as April sank down next to her, placing Andy back on the metal 'X'.

"He said something about finding Church and picking flowers or something. I stopped listening after the flower part," April shrugged, cracking her neck, "And Gary won't shut up about something called the Great Destroyer. _Weird_."

"Just ignore him. Or mute him. That's what I did back in Freelancer," Tali advised.

"I bet he flipped then. Went KABOOM WITH RAGE–"

"Andy? Please don't," Tali stated flatly, drained at the moment.

"What's wrong with _you_?" Andy asked a little snidely.

"I'm so done with this insanity."

"You say that all the time, but guess what? You're still here, so shove it and get over it sister!" April shouted, not angrily however.

"Yeah yeah– what the fuck is _that_?" Tali pointed to the… blue armored alien that was creeping around.

"Uh…"

"Hahaha, that's the Great Destroyer!" Andy laughed manically, "Hey buddy! I got some work for ya!"

The blue alien caught sight of them and immediately lurched forward, charging towards the seated women. Tali and April exchanged quizzical looks, before they both let off a strong burst of electricity (colors green and orange respectively), and the alien lurched back, letting out Blargs and Honks as he limped away.

"…that was the Great Destroyer?" April repeated, "That was kinda easy."

"April, do you not remember _five minutes ago_ when Church jinxed us and Omega attacked?!" Tali whined, palming her visor.

"Oh, sorry!"

 _Too late. Too fucking late._

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _Ugh, Andy! Don't you know Tucker has dibs on Tali?! Silly bomb XD. And I'm glad all of you liked the hardcore shipping last chapter. More of that will certainly happen in the future! ;)_

 _Iron-ninja: If the insanity of the reds and blues won't drive Tali crazy, then Tucker's advances surely will! :D_

 _Ser Nexi: Tali sure doesn't get a break, does she? The midget Freelancer...ah, Tucker sure is trying hard...and I think his tactics may be working ;)_

 _Boggie445: Tucker has his energy sword...I don't really count Tali's light sword as the same thing, since anyone can use it really. Tali's light sword will become significant later...well, much later. I have it outlined, but just not written. Tucker's energy sword is still the best weapon out there though!_

 _ConcordReach679: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed! :)_

 _djmegamouth: Oh my. I feel so special! Thanks for all those reviews, I enjoyed reading them! And Libby's A.I. chip is with Tali, not her body. I'm sorry I didn't explain that better! And I just couldn't resist putting Sister as a Freelancer. She might be a little different from canon Sister, but I love her so much :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who faved and followed as well, I appreciate it immensely! Next chapter will be another backstory chapter, and will consist of the second part of the Beginning of Blood Gulch. It'll be coming soon!_

 _Happy writing! Lonessa out :)_


	14. An Unlikely Trio (In All Three Cases)

_Here's another backstory chapter for ya!_

... _Why They're Here_...

The body on the floor was unmoving, but Tau could see the pale blue sparks behind the visor as the Alpha began to boot up. The muscles began to twitch, and Tau wordlessly toggled her invisibility as Florida prepared to recite the rehearsed speech once the Alpha completely assumed control of the host's body.

"Hello? Hell~ooo? Hello, can you hear me, Private?"

"Ugh...eauugh...private? What?" Alpha stood slowly, his hand going to his helmeted head as he looked around, "Where am I?"

"Easy there, son. It's me, your good friend and mentor, Captain Butch Flowers. There was an accident. You seem to have lost some of your memory." _Could Florida sound any more robotic?_

"An accident? Wha-whi-What happened?"

"There was a wet spot on the floor. You slipped in hit your head."

Tali shook her head while Church made a comical noise of disappointment. Florida could not think of an accident that actually made sense, but he had to come up with one of the most degrading and stupid accident.

"Now, tell me son. Do you remember your name?"

"Uh...my name? My name is...Leonard Church."

"It is indeed. And what is the last thing you remember?"

 _This was the test_ , Tali thought. _If Alpha answers this wrong, she's going to have to shoot him and they are going to have to ruin someone else's life_. Her pistol was raised and pointed right at Alpha's...er... _Church's_ visor.

Tau only half listened to Church's memories, merely keeping an eye on Florida should the single to fire came. She was more interested in the conversation that the Reds were having (April turned on the link and said it was comedy gold). It would seem Simmons really did not want to go to the Vegas Quadrant for some reason, and Grif was pestering him about it.

It was amusing, but she made sure not to laugh. Florida just gave her the signal for 'he's clear', and she holstered her pistol.

"Hello? Oh, hey Captain."

"Ah. Private Tucker, our newest recruit. I'd like you to meet your comrade, Private Church," Florida introduced the regulation blue soldier to Church, and Tau watched on with a curious gaze.

"Sup? Are you a chick?"

"No."

"Bummer."

"...yeah I don't like you."

Yeah, that was pretty much the interaction she was expecting.

"Come on fellas, we're a team! Teams have to work together. So how about we go on a little scouting mission."

"Really? I mean, it sounds like I just woke up from a traumatic head injury. Do you think that's a good idea?" Church questioned.

"Hey, how come he gets a cool armor color and I'm stuck with blue?" Tucker cut in.

"What?"

"I'm just _saying_ ," Tucker lamented, "No one's going to take me seriously! I look like a fuckin' teletubby!"

She had to hold back a bark of laughter at that. And that kid show was made decades ago, why out of everything was he comparing himself to _that_?

"Flowers, is it possible that he could get shot on this mission?"

Florida seemed thrown off by that question, "It's...not _likely_."

"Well, there's no harm in trying."

Tau rolled her eyes as she watched the trio move out, and she herself made her way out of the Blue base. She agreed to meet April on the cliff, and she was running a minute late. She began climbing the natural slope while cloaked and the gritty sand on the tannish-brown rocks rubbed off on her armor when she used them to climb. Eventually she made it to the meeting place they had established right by Red base, opposite of the cliff face that Florida said the Blue's would be using for scouting missions.

She found April hunched over a laptop that was in her lap, her helmet set to the side as she lounged on a couple of rocks. Tau cleared her throat to alert the brunnette of her arrival, and April didn't even bother looking up.

"You're late, Tau."

"Waking up Church took longer than I expected," Tau shrugged, peering at the contents that were on her laptop, "What are you working on?"

"Sarge wanted me to file a request for a robotic kit to Command. Apparently he wants to build his own robot or something," April shrugged, "Grif still hasn't shut up about the Vegas Quadrant and it's driving Simmons insane by the way."

"I assume you have audio?"

Wordlessly, April passed over her helmet, "Hear, I have the radio patched in."

Tau took off her own helmet and replaced it with April's, and her eyes took a second to adjust to the blue tint. Immediately, she heard Grif complaining.

" _Come on Simmons, don't be a buzzkill. Don't do it, don't kill me buzz!"_

" _For the last time, I don't wanna go."_

" _But dude, the Vegas Quadrant is only three parsecs from here. We could get there, we could gamble away our life savings, we'd kill a hooker or two, and we'd be back here before Sarge even notices that we're gone!"_

"What the fuck," Tau stated monotonically.

"I know, right?"

" _I'm not going to the_ _ **fucking**_ _quadrant, don't talk about the quadrant!"_

" _Grif, Simmons!"_

" _Ah,_ _ **shit**_ _. There goes our chance."_

" _I thought I told you two to clean this place up. There are grenades and guns lying around everywhere!"_

" _Sorry sir, it won't happen again. Private Grif was just distracting me from my duties."_

" _Is this true, Grif?"_

"Oh shit, Grif is about to be in trouble," Tau grinned.

"Put it on speaker, I wanna hear," April asked, and Tau took off the helmet before toggling the speaker setting.

" _Actually, Simmons was distracting me with some convoluted scheme to sneak away to the Vegas Quadrant before you came to check on us. I was about to report it to you."_

" _WHAT?!"_

"Damn, that was pretty smooth on Grif's part," Tau chuckled.

"Well, he certainly did keep calm under pressure," April admitted, "I have a feeling he won't be able to get out of everything though. Grif is the lazy kind of soldier that will sneak away to take naps."

"You sound a little annoyed."

"Well that's because I can never find him!" April exclaimed, throwing her hands up before hastily catching her computer, "He's always scouting for hiding places and not for the Blues!"

" _My god, Simmons, how could you? I'm withholding your rations for the rest of the day! And thank you Private Grif for reporting this incident. You sure are a good soldier."_

" _Good enough to take that extra ration? I don't think Private Simmons is going to be needing it."_

" _Hehehe, well I don't see why not. Keep up the good work, Grif. I think you and I are gonna get along just fine."_

"Is he serious right now?"

"Grif also really loves food, in case you haven't noticed," April mumbled.

" _Wha-Wha but_ _ **sir**_ _!"_

" _Get back to cleaning, Simmons! I don't want any more of your back sass!"_

" _...I can't fucking believe you."_

" _Look, I'm not going to apologize for conjuring up an extra meal out of disobeying a direct order,"_ Grif stated frankly, "… _unless of course you want to go to the Vegas Quadrant."_

" _ **GODDAMMIT!**_ "

"Agh, _Jesus!_ " Tau rubbed at her ears as Simmons voice exploded through the radio so loud that the helmet began to vibrate and fall towards the edge of the cliff. His guttural yell was so loud it also reached them from their spot atop the cliff, and that was pretty damn far.

"Well that was unpleasant," April whined as she clutched her laptop tightly, "Remind me to never bring up the Vegas Quadrant around Simmons. _Ever._ "

"I think that son of a bitch blew out one of my eardrums," Tau sighed, "What's with him and the Vegas Quadrant anyway?"

"Who knows? He barely talks to me anyway," April shrugged, "He just stutters and squeaks out a reason to leave."

"Well whatever the reason, he better get over—…aw, _fuck_ ," Tau groaned as she spied Tucker looking over at them from the opposite cliff, "April, cloak now."

"I…okay?" April did as asked, and Tau cloaked a moment later, "What's wrong?"

"Tucker. He was looking at us."

"…oh. Are you going to—"

"No April, I'm not going to kill him," Tau rolled her eyes, "Although that would be what Florida would _want_ me to do… I can establish a link and just jump into his mind. The memory of us can easily be erased."

"I still don't like it."

Tau tilted her head back and sighed, exasperation in her voice, "Well what am I supposed to do, huh April? Just let Tucker run to Florida and tell him he saw two women up atop the cliff? Then not only would Florida kill him, but he'd probably kill _us_ too."

"But messing with someone's memories is cruel! We can never fully anticipate the extent of what tearing a memory away will do to someone's mind, just like with Epsilon!"

"April, Tucker is not some A.I. that is being tortured into fragmenting himself," Tau cut in harshly, "And I'll do what I'll have to do to keep you safe, and you knew that I would always do that since your creation. So if I have to be the 'bad guy' in your eyes to keep you safe, I will be the _fucking bad guy_!" April flinched at her tone, and Tau forced herself to calm down, "I'll take as many precautions as I can, but if I had to choose between you and Tucker, I'd choose you every time."

"...Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, it's what you think," Tau placed a comforting hand on April's shoulder, "Just know that I don't like it either, but I have to do these things, okay? Maybe if we ever get these things off," She pointed to the collar, "And Hawaii comes back, then we can focus our attention on helping these guys."

"Okay," April smiled a little, "I'll keep an eye out for her then. But I have to get going, Sarge is probably wondering what I've been up to."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later April."

…

…

…

Tau kept to the shadows as she waited for Florida, Church and Tucker to return from the scouting mission. She had monitored the radio carefully, and she knew that Tucker hadn't said anything _yet_. However, she didn't know if he was going to in the future, so she had to try and see if she could jump into his A.I. port to find the memory and wipe it from his consciousness.

"Excellent job today, boys! I'd like to say that our very first scouting mission as a team was a success!" Florida exclaimed in his usual condescending tone.

"But...we didn't really find out anything, sir. We just watched as two red soldiers bickered like an old married couple," Tucker interrupted, more than confused.

"I'll be in my quarters if you two need anything, and Church?" Florida completely ignored Tucker's objection, "Remember to let me know if anything else comes to mind."

"You got it, Captain…" Church watched as Florida left, "This day is fuckin' weird."

"Talk about weird, I think I started seein' shit when we were up on the cliff," Tucker rubbed the back of his head while Tali's eye twitched. _Don't you say anything_.

"Like what?"

"Well, I thought I saw two chicks in...uh..."

Tucker's observation was halted once Tau raised a palm, arm rigidly straight as her hand was tilted upwards. Her eyes emitted a green glow as she entered Tucker's consciousness, the smooth metals of grey and blue fading away until a grid of green and cobalt encompassed the entirety of her vision. She saw the memory instantly, and jumped into it, finding herself beside the Blues and Florida on the cliff in her A.I. form.

"Why is he talking like that and staring away from us?"

"Dude I have no idea, this is the strangest day I've ever had once waking up from a coma."

Tau rolled her eyes and ignored Church and Tucker, instead moving herself across the gap to the other cliff where the memory of her and April were. She generated herself into a solid form and watched for a moment as Memory-April and Memory-Tau listened to Grif and Simmons over the helmet radio. Tau looked across the canyon to see Tucker start to tilt his head in their direction, and she grabbed the shoulders of the memory-hybrids and yanked them back behind the cover of a rock.

"Agh, what the-... oh. Hi other Tau," Memory-April waved.

"Hey April. Just stay down here for a few minutes before going about what you are supposed to do. Tucker spots you at this point in time if you aren't in hiding."

"Well, shit," Memory-Tau rolled her eyes, "Day one and we already fucked up. Go team."

"Shut it you Negative Nancy!" Memory-April shoved Memory-Tau playfully.

"Well, I gotta go. I really don't want to spend any more time in Tucker's mind than I need to. I'm slightly afraid at what exactly he has stored in here…" Tau trailed off.

Memory-Tau laughed, "I totally get it. See ya."

As Tau blinked out of existence and back into reality, Memory-April rolled her eyes, "Of course you get it, you _are_ her."

Tau felt herself reconnect with her body and breathed in slowly and as silently as possible. The green glow in her eyes ebbed away and she lowered her hand as she watched the scene in front of her.

"Uh, dude? You okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I just...can't remember what I was about to say," Tucker rubbed his helmeted head with his hand, looking down at the floor.

"Something about two chicks?" Church prompted. Tau was prepared to jump again.

"What chicks? Where are the chicks?" Tucker said suddenly, "Dude, don't fuck with me, what chicks?"

"N-No, that's what you said. You mentioned seeing two chicks somewhere. You stopped midsentence."

"I think I would remember if I mentioned two chicks, dude. Especially if I was doing _something_ with those two chicks. Bow chica bow wow!" Tucker replied with a lewd comment, and Tau wrinkled her nose at the idea.

"In your dreams," She muttered to herself.

"Wha-What was that?" Tucker whipped his head toward her cloaked form. _Oh goddammit_.

"What was _what_?"

She jumped into Tucker's mind again. She was really just making more work for herself at this point.

…

…

…

Tau met April at the entrance to the caves a couple hours later, looking noticeably exhausted.

"Wow. What happened to you?" April asked in concern, reaching out hesitantly.

"Had to jump into Tucker's mind a couple times to completely eliminate any memory of us. Thank god they're dumb," Tau rubbed her temple wearily, "So, I assume you got the message from Hawaii?"

"Yeah. Apparently Florida is down there talking to Vic currently, but Hawaii said she was watching his call from an outcropping above, and should be sending the coordinates soon," April informed her, pressing a few buttons on the side of her helmet, "Oh. It's actually a pretty simple route. Just follow me, Tau."

April beckoned Tau forward as she began to trek into the caves, taking a route that Tau had never traveled down before. They ended up far above the ground floor of the cave, and could see the pools of sparkling water and the stalagmites glistening with dew. Stalactites were extremely close to April and Tau's heads due to their height in the cave, and they had to duck to avoid hitting their heads with the hard rock formations.

"So what exactly does Kai want?" Tau asked as she followed close behind April.

"She didn't say much. I think she tried to keep it as vague as possible just in case Florida has access to our private messages," April theorized.

Tau shuddered, "I _do not_ want Florida rooting around my messages."

"What?" April asked slyly with a smirk, "Got some naughty things you don't want others to see in those messages, sis?"

Tau glared at her, "You did not just imply that."

"Listen Tau, I share a base with three guys, and a lot of times they don't notice I'm listening in," April explained with an eye roll before stopping to think abruptly, "Actually, scratch that, I share a base with _Grif_ and he doesn't notice I'm listening in sometimes. My mind is being converted to live in the gutter."

"Grif? Really?"

"Well he's definitely not even close to Tucker's level as you've described, but do you really expect someone as awkward as Simmons or Sarge who's too busy plotting to kill the Blues to be making those jokes?" April questioned back with a shrug.

"That certainly sounds like Dex."

Tau jumped in surprise before zoning on Hawaii's smug grin, and she growled, "Really Kai? Is it your mission to give me a heart attack one of these days?"

"Oh, calm down Tau," Hawaii clambered out of her little hiding place, dusting off her yellow and purple armor, "I called you two down for a good reason after all."

"And that reason would be…?" Tau prompted.

Hawaii took off her helmet, her golden hair bursting from its captivity and flowing down her shoulders. She blinked her hazel green eyes as she reached into the hard case on her thigh and produced a thin piece of gold metal with a piece of silver wound around it, "I think I might have a way to get those neural collars off. You two mind taking off your helmets?"

Tau and April shared a look before April took off her helmet first, "Anything's worth a shot I suppose."

"Just hold your hair up and I'll try to get the collar off," Hawaii instructed.

Tau looked at the supposed tool that should take off the collar and spoke up, "You have to be careful if you're going to try it. The collars connect directly to our implants."

"Don't worry, Tau, I won't fry you two accidentally."

Tau raised a brow at her.

"Okay okay, I won't fry you _period_ , 'kay?" Hawaii rolled her eyes, "Jeez, as if I would try and kill you."

"One word, Kai: Dead Drop."

"Okay, one; that was an accident and I have apologized multiple times," Kai raised two fingers, "And two, that's two words."

"Whatever."

"Mhm."

"Don't be rude."

April bunched her hair up and held it in a bun on top of her head. The implants that the people of Synthesis are given are much different than the A.I. implants Freelancers received. The implant is over the skin instead of under it, and the silver colored metal branched farther than just the nape of the neck. The holding case was outside of her flesh, it being made of silver metal, and the chip was inserted in a square carved in the metal on the nape of her neck. Around the chip were bright orange lights that seemed to blink and flicker with every thought she made, and the metal curved out from the square to connect to the back of her ears. The chip itself was a shiny black with her zodiac symbol, aries, displayed in a bright red color in the center. Tau's was similar, only the lights were green instead of orange and her symbol, taurus, was displayed in a light green color. The holding case has curved silver metal branching off it and connecting to the back of her ears.

What made it so dangerous to remove the neural collar was that the thin silver collar clamped around the holding case and plugged into small connectors on the side, meaning that the neural collar was directly connected to the central chip. Said chip has wires that connect to certain parts of her brain, and if the neural collar is set off… well, Tau and April won't have human bodies anymore.

Tau watched with a close eye as Hawaii brushed back a few wayward strands of April's hair and placed the thin gold metal in between one of the neural collar's clamps. Hawaii then pinched the clamp with her fingers before waving Tau over, "Tau, I need you to hold onto the gold wire right here."

"Why?"

"You're resistant to electrical shocks while I'm not," Hawaii shrugged.

Tau rolled her eyes but did as asked, and Hawaii waited a moment before sliding the clamp to be secured around the silver and gold wire. Electricity began to run through the wire and to Tau's armor, and Tau's eyes flared up a bright green as the electricity met her flesh, "Woah, feels tingly."

"Only you would say that about getting electrocuted," Hawaii laughed.

The process was repeated on the other clamp, and soon enough Tau had two different gold and silver wires feeding electricity into her armor. Her eyes were glowing an electric green, and green electricity was sparking around them the longer she held onto the wires.

"Sooner or later I'm going to have to discharge all this energy. If I don't do it in the next couple of minutes there's going to be too much for me to handle," Tau warned with gritted teeth. She felt her heartbeat increasing as the seconds ticked by.

"Almost done," Hawaii circled around April's front before examining the spikes clamped into April's neck. She carefully dug them out before abruptly yanking the collar away and throwing it into a small pool of water, the collar electrifying the water immediately on contact. Tau backed a few paces away once she realized the collar was gone and dropped the wires, letting the energy flow through her armor and out into the air in the form of green lightning.

After all the excess energy was dispelled from her body, she coughed raggedly and took in the smoking rock formations around her, as well as the now vaporized pool of water beside her, "Okay, that certainly did the trick but I nearly overcharged because of it."

April rubbed the areas where the collar's spikes dug into her skin and she rubbed her temple, "It wasn't a pleasant experience on my side either. It was a neat trick by using silver and gold to counter the implant's conductivity, but some energy made it to my brain. I have a major headache now…"

"Well at the very least it's off," Hawaii sighed, rubbing the back of her gloved hand on her forehead, "We can get Tau's off whenever you two are ready. For now, I believe Florida has left...I have something else to show you."

At that, Hawaii led them down to the Director's virtual interactive center, otherwise known as Vic. The screen merely showed alternating camera shots of the base, but upon the arrival of the Hybrids and Hawaii, Vic came on screen.

"Hello Agents Taurus and Aries. How can I assist you today?" Vic paused, "And...Agent Hawaii is present as well? I will log this into my-"

"Tau, see that cable right there?" Hawaii interrupted Vic, nodding to the wire connected to the terminal, "Slice it in half."

"Uh...okay?" Tau pulled out the light sword that rested on her hip and activated it before bringing the blade down on the cord. It sliced in half easily, and Tau turned to Vic in confusion as his programming seemed to...change somehow.

Vic started using slang in greeting them (dude was used a lot) and he even uttered some words in spanish. What Tau was more interested in however was the list of agents that were to be transferred to Blood Gulch should Florida or the Hybrids be killed or injured. The list that suddenly became scrambled and spelled out different names that definitely were _not_ agents.

"How did you even-" Tau cut herself off as she took in the names on the list. Michael J. Caboose, Franklin Delano Donut… Kai was there? "How did your name get up there, Kai?"

"I was already third on the roster should one of you be compromised. I guess he just changed how my name was displayed for the hell of it," Hawaii shrugged, "But hey, all you have to do now is deal with Florida, and you'll be in the clear! No more pesky Freelancers that'll kill you if you do something wrong."

"Very nice. Though, I suppose the people on this list would arrive instead?" April asked.

"Yeah. In order too. So first Caboose, then Donut…" Hawaii frowned, "That's an interesting name… then I would be requested to transfer, but y'know, I'm already here, then this Jenkins guy, and finally...John Elizabeth Andersmith?"

"That's a mouthful," Tau commented before turning to April, "But since this 'Caboose' and 'Donut' will be joining us after Florida's untimely demise...maybe we should introduce ourselves to give them the gist of this place first?"

April seemed to like the idea, since a smile slowly crept across her face, "You'll handle Caboose while I get Donut?"

"Sounds like a plan. But I sorta need this collar off me still."

"We can do that now I guess. You ready April?" Hawaii asked.

"Sure. Just one sec," April turned, her eyes glowing orange for a second before an arc of orange electricity jumped off her hand and into the air, "Okay, I should have all the energy out of my system now."

"Alright, let's do this," Tau lifted her hair up before asking suddenly, "This isn't gonna hurt too much right?"

"No, you should be fine," April answered quickly, but when Hawaii looked at her, April opened a link with her.

Hawaii questioned immediately, _:Does it actually hurt a lot?:_

" _Oh yeah, like a bitch:_

…

…

…

A while after those damned neural collars came off (Tau still was a little annoyed at April for lying to her, but she was her annoying little sister so she half expected it) Tau had snuck away to the communications center while Florida was busy with Tucker and Church. She vaguely noted it concerned Tucker and the sniper rifle Florida planned to have shipped specifically for him.

Not letting herself ponder on anything that would stall her in her self-assigned mission, she punched in a couple commands as well as the number that Hawaii had found for her, and waited until the Commander picked up.

" _This is Blue Commander of Infinity, how can- Oh, Agent Taurus. What can I do for you?_ "

"I would like to speak to one Michael J. Caboose, if he is available at this time."

" _Caboose? Uh, are you certain that you haven't called the wrong training ground ma'am? Caboose is one of our more...less effective fighters. I can transfer you to the Director so you can broaden your search-_ "

"No need Commander, I know the Caboose at your base is the correct one. This is merely a...personal call," Tau interrupted the Commander, choosing her words carefully.

" _Well...if you say so ma'am. He is on his way. May I ask what this personal pertains to?_ "

"No you cannot, considering the telling word of _personal_ ," Tau said with a glare, leaning forward, "And since this is a personal call, there is _no need_ to report my contact to your base to your superiors, correct _Commander_?"

" _Y-Yes ma'am. I won't breathe a word_."

Tau smiled, "Good."

The Commander looked off to his right before wordlessly stepping away and leaving the room, and a soldier in regulation blue armor came into frame, " _Hello?_ "

"Hello Caboose. My name is Tau, and I am going to be overseeing your progress during your training. How are you?"

" _Oh. Well I am very good! Thank you for asking Miss Tali!_ "

Tau frowned for a second before she thought for a moment. _Tali...I like it_.

…

…

…

" _Aww, Caboose sounds really cute!_ " April cooed over the radio.

"Yeah, he's actually pretty sweet. I was actually pretty surprised," Tau admitted, walking into Blue base, "I told him I would check up on him in a couple of days and he seemed pretty happy about it."

Not long after her call with Caboose she had contacted April to tell her how it went. Currently she was uncloaked as she walked into Blue base due to Church and Tucker still being outside and talking.

" _You know I heard that he's prone to friendly fire when out in training exercises. It's like he thinks the word 'help' means attack_."

"Well he'll fit right in with the rest of the idiots here I suppose," Tau shrugged, but her insult held less bite than it usually did, "All we have to do is deal with Florida."

" _While I might not be able to, I'm sure you can take him on. After all, you managed to top all of us in Synthesis_ _ **and**_ _Freelancer_."

"Please, I can take 'em easy," Tau boasted, a slight grin on her face, "But there's the factor of Church and Tucker that's the problem. If they just find Florida dead one day that's gonna raise some ques-..."

" _...Tau? Is everything okay?_ "

"I'll...call you back later," Tau clicked her radio off as she took in the scene before her. Florida was on the floor with some sort of needle by him, and Church was standing over him and looking at her with a shocked expression, "Uhm...so soldier, what exactly happened here?"

Church shook his head and exclaimed, "Wha- _Tali?_ But you aren't supposed to get here until the supply drop! Why are you in Blood Gulch?"

Tau backed up a few paces before narrowing her eyes, "Okay, one: why are you calling me Tali? Two: what supply drop?"

"Alright alright, this might sound a little weird but I'm from the future and a 10-megaton bomb in my gut sent me back in time. I met some computer named Gary that sent me back to the present and I've been trying to stop the events from happening...but I've been failing. You start calling yourself Tali because you like it better than Tau and you show up with Caboose when Blue Command drops off a tank for us...and then he kills me, but that's another story altogether."

Tau stared at him blankly, "What the fuck."

"My thoughts exactly, and I tried to avoid Captain Flowers' death but I guess he's allergic to asprin? How the fuck is he allergic to asprin?"

"I…"

"Okay look I know it's confusing but I seriously am confused to why you're here," Church said quickly, "I mean I know you're a Freelancer but I didn't expect me traveling back in time would affect _this_ much."

Tau sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, "It's too early in the morning for this shit...so I suppose you know who I am?"

"Yes. You're my sister, Taurus."

"M'kay. Well, truth is...I've always been here with you guys, just in camouflage. I was making sure you two idiots didn't die in this stupid conflict," Tau crossed her arms, "Well, I don't really care about Tucker's safety, I really only care about your safety."

Church stared for a moment before chuckling a little, and then in erupted into full blown cackles, thoroughly confusing Tau. She cocked her head as he calmed himself, leaning against the wall a little for support, and shook his head a little at her.

"S-Sorry I just… hehe, you certainly don't have that mindset of Tucker in the future."

"The fuck does _that_ mean?"

She didn't get her answer as the present day Church rounded the corner, and Future Church (or...past? He came from both the past and the future this is confusing) dashed to hide as she cloaked.

Tau shook her head as she ignored the present Church and Tucker talking about their dead Captain and watched as Future Church left the base. She sighed inwardly, _at least April and I don't have to worry about killing him._

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _Hey, Sister was back for a bit! She's not going to be the same Sister in canon however...just remember that!_

 _Thanks to all that have read, faved, followed, and reviewed! I appreciate the support! :3_

 _TheDeathly-Z: Yeah...Tali has a rather unique friendship with Maine, but that's all I'm going to say ;). And Carolina...yikes!_

 _djmegamouth: Ha, you liked the lightning huh? Well you're in luck, because Tali does that quite often in Freelancer...you'll see when this fic gets there._

 _Boggie445: That does sound like something Tali would do...but I have something else planned for her. :D_

 _Guest: Ha, thank you! Tex is an opportunist in my opinion. When she sees a way to get revenge she takes it._

 _Welp, I gotta get back to writing! It's like this is my job now...I don't mind though, I like it!_

 _Happy writing! Lonessa out :D_


	15. The Great Destroyer (Not Really)

"That… was so satisfying to watch."

April muffled a laugh at Tali's statement, the women both staring at Church's abandoned body. Not long after the alien tried to attack them, it had looped around and worked its way up to the upper platform, where Church happened to be conversing with Gary.

The result? Church turned, screamed, and then his body crumpled like a sack of potatoes before the alien was in five feet of him.

"Hahaha! Man, he sure showed that shisno what's up!" Andy laughed maniacally.

"Um… what's a shisno?" April asked in confusion, looking down at the bomb.

"As much as I'd love to tell you, I'd rather not contaminate the minds of two rockin' ladies."

Tali groaned inwardly, sharing a look with April. It seemed that since they had A.I. abilities, Andy thought he'd try and get on their good sides. That meant he'd try to hit on them every five minutes, and Tali vaguely thought that he was worse than Tucker. Hell, she would _prefer_ if Tucker was hitting on her.

…Wait, what?

" _Holy shit_!" April gaped at her. _Oh, she kept the link open._

"Shut the fuck up, April."

"Did I miss something?" Andy asked, but neither had the time to answer.

" _Hey! Tali, April_!"

The girls looked up to see Church's translucent form peering down at them, and Tali waved.

"Sup, big brother? Something wrong?" Tali grinned knowingly as she said this, and April snorted into her palm.

"Look who's back! It's the dickhead!" Andy joined in.

"Hey, up yours!"

"Ready for another beatin'? It must be ass kick o'clock!"

"Where's that big alien thing?" Church asked, ignoring Andy's jibe.

"Dunno. Last time we saw him he was creeping up on you," April shrugged.

"Why the hell are you just sitting there?" Tucker questioned urgently, waving his arms in emphasis.

"Um… because we're not afraid of the thing?" Tali replied hesitantly, "Seriously, the 'Great Destroyer' is kinda a wimp. Can't take a little electric shock."

Tucker shook his head and looked a little to the side and back, before doing a double take, and Tali heard a faint, "…Blarg."

" _Eeugh, there he is_!" Tucker cried.

" _Jesus, run_!"

" _Crap_!"

Church, Tucker and Tex all began firing blindly, screaming nonsense as they retreated through the window shutters and Tucker screaming, "Women and children last!"

"Well that was interesting," Tali said frankly, nudging a giggling April.

"Hey, come back in! I think you're tiring him out!" Andy screeched, before laughing uncontrollably, the lights flashing on his circular shell as he did.

…

…

…

"Why in the _hell_ is that thing not trying to kill you?"

"Are you upset or something? I thought you'd be happy something _isn't_ trying to kill me for once," Tali asked rhetorically, gripping the iron gate and peering at her team on the other side.

"I'm not upset, I just… aaaragh! And where the hell is your helmet?" Church questioned with disbelief.

"It's over by Andy and April," Tali gestured behind her, running her other hand through her long, dark green locks, "So, what's stopping you from coming in here and getting your body back Church?"

"Uh… because of the slimy alien thing that can kill me?"

"You're a _ghost_. Aliens can't kill ghosts, man."

"Says you."

"Church, I think Miss Tali is right," Caboose said gravely, "Ghosts… they are funny looking. And whenever I try to hug you, I fall to the ground."

"That's because I'm just a projection, idiot… and don't fuckin' hug me!"

"Be nice, Church," Tali pouted playfully, "That's no way to talk to your best friend after all."

Church growled lowly before groaning frustratedly, "I just can't _fucking stand_ the idea of my body bein' in there!"

"HA! You never looked better!" Andy shouted.

"Hey, SHUT UP ANDY! Y'know, I could've taken that alien out if I had hit him just a few more times," Church shook his head as he turned to the others.

"Uh, Church? You'd need to actually hit him to take him down. You didn't hit shit," Tali rolled her eyes and leaned towards him a little, her head sticking through the gate.

"Yeah, you didn't hit anything but the wall," Tex jutted out a hip as she crossed her arms.

"How the hell would you know?" Church rounded on Tex, "You were runnin' straight backwards!"

"This is a long range weapon, okay?" Tex jutted a thumb to the rifle on her back, "I need distance to use it effectively."

"Where were you planning on shooting him from, the fucking moon? If you had backed him up any further you'd of had to _mail_ him the bullets!" Tucker exclaimed.

"You know what?" Tex yanked her rifle from her back, irritation in her voice, "I work better on my own. You ladies stay here, and I'll be back in two minutes with that things head on a _platter_."

As she walked off, Tucker inquired, "Does it ever bother you that our most take charge guy on our team is a girl? Actually, the first _two_ take charge guys are girls?" Tucker glanced at Tali as he said this, who smiled innocently.

"Not at all. As long as I get my body back I don't care if I'm a hero."

Tali burst out laughing when he said this, eyes watering, "Church, you are in no way even fucking _close_ to a hero!"

"What the– shut the fuck up, Tali!"

"I agree with her, man. You're more like a participant."

"Or a decoy!" Caboose chirped.

"Haha, fucking hilarious, I'm going to shoot you in the knee if you don't stop laughing Tali," Church growled.

"Are you sure you can make that shot from here?"

" _Shut. Up. Tucker_."

"Uh, hey guys?" April strolled up beside Tali, helmet less as well, "Got a small problem here…"

"April, put your damn helmet on!" Church interrupted, "Do you _want_ that alien thing to shoot you in the head and kill you?"

"Goddamnit…" Tucker mumbled, "Church, why do your sisters have to be so hot?"

"…Tucker. I will stab you," Church clenched his fists as he turned to the teal soldier, "And I will hide your body in a ditch, if you ever say that again."

"Chuuurch," April whined, "Stop it! I for one appreciate the compliment."

"Anytime, baby–"

" _Tucker_!" Tali warned, scowling at him.

"Now now, don't be jealous, sis," April gave Tali a side hug with a cheeky grin, shrugging innocently when Tali glared at her.

"I'm not jealous. I'm saving you from what's probably a goldmine of STD's."

" _Hey_ –"

"As I was saying," April interrupted, clapping her hands together, "Tex _may_ be unconscious on the ground, and the alien is still lurking around here."

" _Fuuuck_."

"I don't know why you guys haven't asked us to just, you know, _electrocute_ him so you could get your body back," Tali suggested dryly before pushing off the gate, "But now I have to get Tex, so we'll be right back. C'mon April."

"Yeah yeah, thanks a whole lot for the help!" Church yelled sarcastically.

After retrieving their helmets (and ignored Andy's flirting), they ran up the ramp and searched for Tex's body. The alien was nowhere to be seen, and after some searching, found Tex's body by the entrance.

"Wow. She didn't make it very far," April commented.

"No she didn't," Tali agreed, taking Tex's arms while April got the legs, "I'm not saying shit though. Last time I insulted her she left Tucker on my back for twenty minutes."

" _What_?" April chuckled, almost dropping the woman, "Oh, that's rich!"

"Fuck off, April."

At that, they began to lift Tex's prone body, exchanging playful glares before Tex began to stir at the movement, "Eugh, what the– get off me!"

"Sorry, damn!" Tali and April dropped Tex after she flailed excessively, the black armored agent landing on the ground again with a resounding thud.

"Woah, what's goin' on up here?"

"Tex is being a stubborn bitch. Basically the norm," Tali shrugged before jumping back as Tex's fist sailed toward her, "Hey, quit it Tex!"

"This is how far you went?" Church chuckled a little, "You really didn't make it very far did you?"

"You know I wonder, if I kill a ghost, will it come back as a ghost _of_ a ghost?" Tex mused to herself, glaring daggers at Church.

"…I see your point."

"Hey, where's Tucker and Michael?" Tali asked in concern.

"Hey, don't worry baby, Tucker's right here," The man himself entered the building and sidled up to her, moving to circle an arm around her waist.

"I'll cut that arm off," She warned.

"Come on, lovebirds," April began walking away, "Church and Tex are already looking for Michael."

"Speak for yourself about lovebirds, April," Tali grumbled before smirking as April turned to her in slight alarm, "Don't give me that look! Tucker told me who _you_ were in the lap of on the way here."

"Hey, shut up!"

Snickering silently, Tali followed with Tucker close behind, seeing Tex and Church talking with Caboose. They moved down the ramp, and caught a whiff of something rather foul.

"Oh _man_ , what is that stench? Is a skunk juggling dead hamsters in here? It smells like old yogurt!"

"There's an alien standing in front of you, you know," Tali commented offhandedly, the alien muttering gibberish.

"Did you eat and throw up a can of trash?" Tucker asked the alien, and it responded with a honk.

"That's what he said right before he bit me!" Caboose said.

"Do you understand what he's saying?" Tex murmured to the others.

"I think I'm detecting a pattern. I think Blargs come after Honks… or, vice versa," Church observed rather unhelpfully.

"I-I think Blarg means me… or… apples…" Caboose thought, "Guys, apples must be the name of his cat! Quick, quick, is Apples stuck in a tree? I will call the fire department."

"Hey, Mister Huge Alien, do you understand what we're saying?"

The aliens response to Church's question was pulling his head back and blarging in a rather annoyed tone.

"…I have no idea if that means yes or no."

Well, we're gonna be here awhile.

…

…

…

"Listen, Church is looking for someone that can find out what our alien friend is saying, okay Michael?" Tali broached, the blue idiot scratching his head.

"I… do not understand. The only people here are us. And we are not aliens," Caboose said slowly, Tali groaning.

"It's a lost cause," She shook her head and looked at Tucker.

"Lemme try. Okay, Church is trying to get a _translator_ … so that we can _talk_ to _each other_."

"Tucker, the enormous alien doesn't speak our language, speaking slowly is not gonna help," Church approached them after his talk with Gary.

"What? I'm talking to Caboose."

"Oh."

"I don't understand, Tucker are-are… are you hungry? Tucker are you cold?–"

"What? No!"

"Do you need a blanket? Tucker do you want some hot dogs in a blanket?"

"Dammit, no Caboose. I'm not cold, I don't want a hot dog, and if you put mustard in my fucking sheets again I'm gonna kill you!" Tucker shouted.

"Mustard?" April murmured to herself, "The hell?"

"I'll tell you about it later," Tali whispered back to her.

"Okay gargantuan alien, now that we have decided to keep you, you need a real name. I vote for Fluffy."

"Fluffy?"

"Fluffy! The alien that only loves!"

"I don't think the alien is gonna appreciate that Michael," April shook her head, "Look, he's gotta already have a name. Why don't you just ask him?"

"Worth a shot. Hey alien dude, what's your name?" Tucker turned to the blue alien, "Naaaame. I am Tucker," He turned to his right, "This is Church, and _that's_ Bitch Pants McCrabby!" He pointed to Tex.

"Hey!"

"Well that's what we call you!" Tucker said in defense.

"That's not true. I call you _Mrs._ McCrabby," Caboose corrected.

Tex let out an unamused thanks, and Church continued on with the name situation, "What is your name?"

"Honk honk!"

"Your _name_."

"Honk honk!"

" _Naaaaaaammmmme_."

"Just keep repeating it Church. I'm sure it'll come up with the right definition on its own," Tucker crossed his arms and leant back on one foot.

"He is Tucker. Tuck-er. She is Tali. Ta-li. You are…?"

This is so stupid.

"Honk honk."

"No no, no. Not honk honk. Name."

"Honk honk."

"Okay, I give up. All this guy says is honk honk!" Church exclaimed, throwing up his arms in frustration.

"Well, maybe that's because his name is Honk Honk," April suggested, and the alien looked over to her with a curious Blarg.

"You have any idea how stupid that sounds?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I mean what kind of name is Honk Honk?" Church added.

"I gotta agree with April here. Just because it sounds dumb to us doesn't mean it is in an alien culture," Tali supported April, much to Church and Tucker's chagrin.

"Hey, big alien, is your name Honk Honk?" Church turned to the alien again.

"Blarg."

"Hey wait a second, I think Blarg means yes. Alien, does Blarg mean yes?"

"…Blarg."

" _Holy shit!_ " Church startled everyone with his exclamation, "He just said yes, Blarg means yes! I can speak alien!"

"Yeah, unless Blarg means no, in which case he's saying no, Blarg does not mean yes," Tex threw a wrench in Church's 'discovery'.

"What? No way. Hey alien, am I right?"

"Blarg."

"Haha, see? The fuck do you know?"

"Again Church, he could be saying no, you're not right," Tali sighed, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"Hey, big brother knows best… so shush."

…

…

…

"I can't help but wonder how the hell our enemies keep disappearing right after an attack. Like, hello? Where did O'Malley go?" April wondered aloud.

Tali shrugged, "Honestly? Between an alien appearing and scaring the absolute shit out of Church, Gamma changing his name to Gary, a robot army, a talking bomb, and a glowing sword that's the key to something that Gamma won't tell us about, I don't give a shit anymore."

"…That's probably a good way to deal with these things."

"Yeah… what the hell is that noise?"

" _Ow…ow…ow…ow…ow…_ "

"…That sounds like Tucker," April puzzled, frowning as they ventured out of the building.

"What the fuck is this?" Tali yelled as she saw the alien beating the crap out of Tucker with his gun, Tucker's sword lying on the ground a ways away.

" _Tali… get him… off me!_ "

"Oh for the love of…" Tali stomped forward and pulled on the aliens shoulder, punching him hard in the face when he turned. The alien yelped before growling, and when he went to pounce on her, she let off a strong electric shock that knocked the thing right on his ass.

"Tucker? You okay?" April asked as she crouched down beside the moaning teal soldier, turning him to lay on his back.

"Can we just kill that thing or something?" He asked through a strained voice, holding his side.

"BLARG HONK HONK!"

"Fuck you too, alien piece of shit!" Tucker shouted back, sitting up.

"Why'd he attack you anyway?" Tali questioned as she picked up the discarded sword, ignoring the aliens growls.

"I pulled out the sword and he freaked. I dunno!"

"TRANSITION TIME!" Caboose suddenly yelled, running out of the base with Andy and dropping him unceremoniously on the ground beside the alien.

" _Translation_ , dumbass," Church corrected with a groan.

"JESUS DUDE! Can you be a little more gentle, damn!" Andy yelled at the blue idiot, "I think I broke something…"

"Alright Andy, get to translating," Tex ordered, looking between the two women and the alien, "…What happened to get you guys so pissed off?"

"Shit for breath here was trying to kill Tucker," Tali nodded her head the alien.

"BLARG WARG HONK!"

"Ahahaha! Nice man," Andy laughed.

"Ahhhowwww… I'm gonna die…" Tucker whined as he stumbled to his feet.

"RAWR WARG!"

"Uhh, basically he says he's pissed off," Andy translated unhelpfully.

"Oh, no _really_? I just thought the alien was savagely beating on Tucker because it's their version of a hug. Now that we know that's not it, _please_ enlighten us," Tali snapped dryly.

"Hey, chill it! Hold on…" Andy listened to what the alien was saying and translated, "He says he came to claim some kind of thing, and that the teal one took the thing, and now the thing is gone."

"Who's the teal one?" Tucker asked, Tali looking at him in disbelief.

"Seriously? Are you colorblind or something?"

"What do you– oh he means me? I'm not teal, I'm aqua!"

"Ohhh… the thing he mentioned is the sword… uh oh," April rubbed the back of her neck, looking off to the side.

"But it's not broken!" Church exclaimed.

"WARG BLARG WARG!"

"He says that it only works for the hero that passes the trial of the windmill, and retrieves it from its resting place. For everyone else, it might as well be broken."

"Uh oh," Tex murmured.

"Trial? Please, that was not a trial! I fell in a hole! I'm startin' to like this culture though. Anyone who trips is a hero…I'm pretty sure that makes Caboose God," Tucker shrugged.

"You wouldn't have even picked it up if I didn't tell you to," April mentioned, "Remember?"

"Meh."

"Yeah, it didn't work for Tex because it's linked to Tucker. He's telling the truth," Tali agreed with the alien, who was still glaring at the sword at her hip.

"BLARG HONK."

"So you got to go with him to fulfill the prophecy," Andy concluded.

"Fuck. You!"

"BLARG BLARG BLARG, HONK HONK!"

"Hehehe, good one!… Uh, he's–he's not too thrilled about it either," Andy replied.

Tucker turned to Church and Tex and yelled, "You see, I knew this was a bad idea! Sorry to fuck up your quest dude, but I'm not going!"

"And if you don't go… he'll destroy the base, and kill everyone here."

A long silence ensued as Tali glared heatedly at the alien, and April shifted nervously on her feet beside her. Well, Andy was a bomb, so it wouldn't be so hard to believe that the alien could blow up the base, but Tali would more than likely strangle the damn thing before it could even try such a thing. That is, if she was willing to risk other members of the Covenant hearing about it.

"…Alright, good luck you guys," Church said after a moment, patting Tucker on the back.

Tucker looked around wildly, alarmed at the threat, while Tex urged, "Come on Tucker, a quest sounds like fun!"

"You sure you don't want to stay? I'm really for that blow up and kill everyone idea!" Andy said a little too excitedly.

Tucker looked around helplessly, meetings Tali's eye. She sighed and stated, "I don't think you have a choice, Tucker."

"Dammit… alright, what do we have to do?"

…

…

…

 _"April? Are you there?… April, come in… APRIL CHURCH ANSWER THE DAMN RADIO–"_

"Woah woah, wha– I'm here, what's up? Who's this?" April fumbled with her helmet, slipping it over her head and shuffling away from the Blues that were talking on the beach.

 _"This is Simmons! I need you to get to my location, now!"_

"Why? Didn't Grif tell you all that I'm undercover? I'm with the Blues right now!" April whispered, looking over her shoulder to the others.

 _"Yeah, but we– I mean I, we, us uh, have a situation over here! Sarge thinks I've gone crazy and Donut's second in command now! Everything's wrong!"_

"…I am talking to Private First Class Richard Simmons right?"

 _"Oh my god, yes, it's me! Look, there was this whole thing with an imaginary tank, a contest for second in command with a skull and a wrench, and now I'm Blue–"_

"Um… what's the reasoning behind Sarge's write off on your sanity?" April asked slowly.

 _"The Blues tank drove behind Sarge and he refuses to believe me! I'm not crazy, I swear! What th– GRIF, how the hell did you get on this frequency?!"_

 _"You never changed it smartass. Who're you talking to?"_

"Hey Grif," April chirped in response.

 _"Oh, hey April. How's everything going with the Blues?"_

"Really weird here guys," April reported with a chuckle, "A slimy alien showed up, and now Tucker has to go on this quest thing to fulfill a prophecy for an alien culture. Also, the Blues are really nice when you get to know them!"

 _"WHAT?! So much was wrong with that statement I don't even know how to begin."_

 _"Oh, can it Simmons! You painted yourself blue, so if you object, then you're a hypocrite!"_

" _Anyway_ …" April raised her voice over their shouting, "I'm not sure if I'll be able to get back anytime soon. Where are you guys anyway?"

 _"We're back in hell, that's where. Fucking Blood Gulch…"_ Grif mumbled before adding, _"Not to mention no one's around to counter Sarge's senile personality with you not around."_

 _"Yeah… April probably would've agreed with me when I said there was a tank…"_

April giggled a little, cooing, "Awww, do you guys miss me?"

 _"I miss my life…"_ Simmons stated sadly.

 _"Of course we miss you! Who else do I have to complain to about the chain of command? Donut is Donut, Simmons is now clinically insane, and Sarge is senile!"_ Grif exclaimed.

Feeling her face warm considerably, she said, "Aw, thanks… I'll try to get back as soon as I can, but I gotta go guys," She saw Tali wave her over.

 _"Alright. Be careful, April."_

 _"OH MY GOD THE TANK IS RIGHT THERE, SARGE! HOW CAN YOU NOT–"_

April toggled off the radio and sighed, "I don't want to know," Before striding towards the Blues on the beach.

"…I'm gonna fuckin' die," Tucker stated factually as she approached.

"Haha I guess this is goodbye, Tucker! Nice knowin' ya!" Church joked.

"You better hope I don't die, or else I'm _haunting_ your ass!"

"Jokes on you, asshole, I'm already dead! You can't haunt a ghost as a ghost!"

"Fucking _watch_ me," Tucker snarled back before throwing his head back and groaning, " _Shit_ , why does the team killer, the bloodthirsty alien, and the asshole bomb have to come with me?!"

"Alright alright, that's it. I'm going with," Tali stepped forward, "As assholish and suggestive Tucker is, I'd rather not see his corpse, so."

"Thank god. At least my survival odds are a little higher now," Tucker sighed.

"A little higher? Tali was number one in the project. You're in the best of hands," April commented, "You're probably safer than we are now."

"So it's gonna be Caboose and Tali with me then?"

"Yeah, now enough chatter, we should get the move on," Tali made a wide arch with her arm pointing down the beach, the alien and Caboose already walking along.

"Alright alright. Tali, Tucker, as soon as this bullshit quest is done, report back to Blue base okay?" Church ordered.

"Yeah yeah. We'll be careful, all that stuff," Tucker hurried along Church's orders.

"Leaving," Tali waved over her shoulder as she walked along the beach.

Tucker followed right after, and when Church opened his mouth about possible riches at the end of the quest, Tex went sprinting after them.

"Well, guess it's just you and me, April," Church sighed, looking over to her.

"About that… I need to go and see what's up with the Reds. They sounded kinda frantic, so…"

"Oh I see. I'm gonna be finding my way to Blue base without any help."

"Uh, love you, have fun!" April called as she ran down the length of the beach.

…

…

…

"So… this is the burning plains… they're more burnt than burning," Tali observed, shrugging as she strolled alongside Tucker.

"Alright, everybody get down!" Andy ordered, and they all crouched, "The monster is just down that hill, and the great hero is going to kill it."

"Uh… I think you guys are gonna be sorely disappointed, but okay. I'm a lover, not a fighter!" Tucker pulled out his energy sword anyway.

"Uhh… hey Andy, when the alien says monster, does he mean the degrading cow skull lying in the sand down there?" Tali raised a brow, the alien rushing to peek over the hill.

"BLARG HONK?"

"What the– it's already dead? Have you– what?!"

"We've already been here before. This is where we fixed up the Warthog," Tali said, reminding Caboose and Tucker as well.

"Oh yeah… I also remember somebody being a little–"

"Shut up or I will stab you," Tali growled at Tucker.

Caboose poked at the cow skull, cocking his head, "…He doesn't look very scary…"

"So there's no one for me to fight? Fuck yes!" Tucker cheered, "I'm the master at slaying dead monsters!"

"Yeah. He was so terrified of your arrival he crumbled into a pile of bones," Tali said flatly, not at all impressed.

"Hey, don't ruin my moment."

"Blarg honk honk blarg warg."

"He says that once we pass over the burning plains, we can set up camp and stay there for a couple hours. Then we have to venture through the swamps and be wary of the evil presences that trail after the hero."

"This is starting to sound like an extremely clichè 'oh great prophecy' movie," Tucker muttered.

"It kinda is," Tali reminded him, crossing her arms, "Only difference is that there's no heroic scenes and instead just a bunch of randomly colored people talking."

"…You pretty much described our entire existence."

" _If_ you are all done gabbing, we need to get moving before the burning plains begin to, y'know, _burn_!" Andy yelled in annoyance.

"Alright, alright, we're movi– _who the fuck are you?!"_

Tali whirled around, seeing Tucker being thrown to the ground and Caboose lying down, unconscious, while a… _oh fuck…_

"Hello, Taurus. How are you, darling?"

"God, you're such an asshole," Tali grumbled as she charged forward, tackling California to the ground and punching him in the visor.

"Now now, that's not very nice," He threw Tali off him, springing to his feet while Tali backed up a few paces.

Tali darted to be in front of Caboose and Tucker, something California noticed, and blocked a series of kicks and punches from the green and yellow freelancer. She gritted her teeth as she flipped over him and hit him hard in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground momentarily.

This was when Tali thought. She couldn't fight California with the alien, Andy, Caboose and Tucker around. Too much could be used against her, and there wasn't a lot for her to work with.

She had to run, lure him away from them.

"You guys keep on with the quest!" She shouted as she dodged California's tackle, running around a concrete slab and breaking off a piece only to throw it at California.

"What the fuck? Tali, _no_ –"

"I'll be fine, don't worry!" Tali silenced Tucker's protests, running across the burning plains with California close behind.

…

…

…

"I don't believe that, but I'm just going to go along with it and say okay, since I need to take care of these guys."

"Aw, come on, April! I can perform the musical number for you if it makes you feel better!"

April resisted rolling her eyes and said tightly, "No, I'm okay Donut. Actually, I think you should get everything ready in the kitchen. It's an hour until your Wine and Cheese Hour."

Donut gaped at the time presented to him and gasped, "Oh my god you're right! Thanks for reminding me, I'll see you later!...oh!" Donut turned for a moment, "And I better see you there without that helmet, Missy! If I had known you were hiding such a pretty face underneath there, I would've made you take it off sooner!"

April deflated visibly when Donut left. She had been lounging in the recreational room when Donut came in while dragging Grif and Sarge inside, and didn't recognize her at first (since none of the Reds have seen her face). After explaining who she was to Donut (and Donut gushing over how good her makeup looked, god help her), she was then informed that the Blue leader had returned and another recruit with maroon highlights was at Blue base.

And considering Grif's comment over the radio a while ago, she's going to assume that's Simmons.

Now Sarge and Grif were in their respective rooms and she had to check on them.

Sarge had taken two nasty blows to the head, but she just administered some bio foam and it had healed up almost instantly, so she wasn't too worried about him. Plus, some extra brain damage isn't going to kill their leader.

Grif was more or less fine, except it seemed that Simmons used him as his punching bag, since there were multiple bruises on his upper back that were consistent with the butt of a rifle, so it's safe to say that Grif was giving Simmons some grief over at Blue base.

When she was taking care of the two unconscious men, that was when she realized that while they have never seen her face, she had never taken the time to examine what they looked like too closely. Sarge had greying hair that was combed back and grey eyes that were lighter than her own, and barely there stubble along his jaw. Grif on the other hand, had rather dark skin thanks to his Hawaiian background and hazel-green eyes and dark brown hair that liked to brush over his eyes slightly.

Simmons was Dutch-Irish, unlike what Grif claimed, and had a pasty complexion with freckles going across his nose and decorating his cheeks. He had light brown hair that stuck up and was cut short, and matching brown eyes that were much softer than Tex's harsh brown eyes. He was the tallest of Red team.

Seriously, it was freaky how tall Simmons was. Actually, it was freaky how tall everyone was. Compared to the sim troopers, her and Tali were midgets!

Shaking free of her thoughts, she pulled Grif's shirt back down to cover his torso after she had finished applying a healing cream to his bruises, though there wasn't much she could do beyond that. She began to set up a bottle of pain pills for the more than likely smarting wounds on the nightstand and placed a glass of water beside them when suddenly, her chest became… _constricted_.

It wasn't like she couldn't breathe, or there was something medical that was wrong with her, but it was like an… intense emotion was rippling through her, as if through the link…

 _Tali._

She felt overwhelming sadness and surprise, along with her rather often bout of anger. The conflicting emotions swirled around in her, and she did her absolute best to think of happy memories and thoughts and send them back through to Tali, hoping that that would be enough until someone else could console her.

What had made her so sad?

Did something happen to Tucker? Was she okay? Did O'Malley track her down?

She'd have to check up on them when they returned to Blue base. Hopefully they would return to Blue base.

 _No negative thoughts! You have to smile April! You're the smiley girl to the Reds! Nothing phases you or stops you from being happy._

Sometimes she really hates how bubbly she naturally is, and when she gets in these situations, well…

And then she heard a groan to her right. Grif was awake.

"Ugh… what happened?" He turned his eyes to her, squinting a bit, before asking slowly, "Who are you? Your eyes are… orange?"

April went to respond, but stopped. Did he just say she had orange eyes? Oh god!

Instantly she clamped her eyes shut, fumbling around blindly, "No I don't!"

"…April?"

A side effect of being a part of Synthesis is the unnatural colors that her eyes glow whenever she is analyzing something or if she feels an intense emotion. Since Tali was feeling an intense emotion, April was able to feel it through their connection in the mental link. Normally this shouldn't be possible, but Tali has a natural ability to craft strong links without even thinking about it, so she would be subjected to these emotions at times.

The only problem is explaining it to people that happen to notice the change in color.

"What? I don't have orange eyes! I don't know what you're talking about!"

And with a panic stricken exhale, she bolted from the room.

…

…

…

Tali's breath came out in short pants as she squinted in the dim light, her blackened visor not helping much at all.

California had been chasing her all through the day, so far that she had left the burning plains and now was sprinting through a spooky swamp, bulbous green orbs lighting a sketchy path for her. It was beneficial that she blended in with the marsh, but California and his Promethean Vision could zone in on her immediately!

She slid under a fallen tree trunk and clambered into its hollow shell, hiding the entrance with moss and foliage.

"You can't hide forever, Taurus!" California called in a sing-song voice, and she had to yank her helmet off just to clamp a hand over her mouth and lessen the sound of her breathing.

 _Jesus_ she couldn't get rid of him!

Never once had she been so scared in all her life. The Director had made it so that her reflexes were perfect, her attitude brooked for no fear or doubt, and her allies unbeatable. But now? Now her friends depended on her to be the protector, nightmares plagued her mind thanks to the horrific simulations, and her enemy had somehow been… _enhanced_.

 _God this sucked_!

 _:Hello sister:_

Oh dear god. As if the universe heard her thoughts and decided, 'hey, let's mess with the hybrid even more'!

 _:…Omicron…:_

 _:I have an inquiry. I do not understand why you go against Agent California and myself. It is obvious that we are the superior side, according to my calculations, and really, those simulation troopers are just bogging you down:_

 _:Fuck off.:_ Tali snarled, trying to make herself less noticeable in the trunk.

Omicron droned on, _:I mean really, they're just so incompetent, aren't they? The deep blue one seems to be missing his brain entirely, the pink one fantasizes about clothes, the orange one is rather lazy…:_

 _:Omicron, I met you once before and I already want to drop an EMP on your sorry ass. And I'm gonna do it. And after_ _ **that**_ _, I'm going to hang California up in a tree by his entrails.:_

 _:Rather testy, hmm? Anyway, as I was saying, the maroon one insists that he is correct when he is most certainly not, the Sergeant disrespects his troops, and April, our own sister, is far too innocent, don't you think?:_

 _:You don't know anything about her–:_ Tali tried to defend.

 _:And dear Tex. She's rather elusive, isn't she?:_

 _:Uh, have you_ _ **met**_ _Tex?:_

 _:Even Church isn't really on his game, hmm? Though I have been enticed by Sigma's plan, I do admit:_

 _:The fuck? What plan?:_

 _:Oh, you mean you don't know? I won't spoil it then. Leave that for you to find out:_

 _:Damn you are creepy. And annoying. Go away.:_

 _:Oh but I'm not done! One last thing, the aqua one, Tucker–:_

Okay, this was weird. Beyond regular weird, the I-need-to-cleanse-my-brain-of-the-insanity sort of weird, _:Get out. Of my. Head.:_

 _:Come on, Taurus. You know what'll happen if you indulge him any further in his fantasies.:_

 _:What the hell are you talking about?! What fantasies?!:_

 _:You really are oblivious aren't you? We've been watching for a long time, Taurus. California and I have witnessed how his eyes follow you when you walk in the room, how he naturally gravitates toward you. We're not blind:_

 _:What does this have to do with anything–:_

 _:I'm saying that these men are blinding you to the truth. You don't know anything about Freelancer, you don't know where Scorpio is, you don't know who is alive and who is not—:_

 _:Stop. Talking:_

 _:…You can't start a new life here, Taurus, not with these men. You can't escape what you are. Either the Director will find you… or we will. And I don't think the Director will be as kind to your 'friends' as we will. If you don't come out, however…:_

 _:Don't you even fucking_ _ **touch**_ _them–:_

 _:You see? They're a weakness. They can't fight, they depend on you far too much. We pick our allies with more… let's just say motive. Maybe California and I should show your beloved troopers something about fighting…:_

She was motivated by anger and rage as she let off a shock so great that it not only propelled Omicron from her mind, but it set small fires to the tree trunk she was hiding inside. Will California really go for them? Should she go back to them and make sure he doesn't try anything? God, they were all split up!

"There you are…"

She shielded her face as she engaged her thruster pack, zooming straight through the trunk and knocking California back a bit. Her helmet was still in her hiding spot, but she couldn't get it now.

"Feisty one, aren't you?" California chuckled as he stood again, "So different from Libra..."

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Tali growled, already in a fighting position.

He stopped, and after a moment, he laughed heartily at her, irking her even more so than she was before. She could practically picture the Joker smile working its way onto his mouth, "Well, I don't know where Libra is, and you do… so I cannot leave until she is in my possession."

"You're asking for the one thing you can never have. Besides asshole, guess what? You need her body to actually get her working again, so whatever you're planning isn't going to work."

"For such a smart creation you are rather dense," California commented as he threw a few punches, "You see, Taurus, I know where her body is, and I plan to take her chip, and take her body, and _run_."

Tali stopped, her eyes growing wide as she could tell California made a sneering face at her. That can't be true. Her body has been hidden for years, there's no way that out of all the agents _he_ found her!

"You're lying! The Director kept her hidden in a place he said no one would look!"

"Deary me, how naïve you are," California groaned before musing, "Yet somehow you can become even more angry than Omega. Hard to believe, but true."

"If you came to just make small talk, I'll pass."

"What can I say? I missed the company. But honestly, I don't care if I'm talking with you, or _A CORPSE_!"

He lunged, her twirling to the side to dodge him and kicking at his back, only to be tripped up by his foot. She kicked back to her feet and ducked when California fired a burst from his BR at her.

 _Dear god he's insane and he's gonna try to kill me._

"What the hell is Omicron, insanity?" Tali barked as she weaved through hanging vines and moss-covered trees, incendiary grenades erupting around her and setting fire to the damp grass.

"I'm not too inclined to tell you," California shouted back a ways away, and she sighed heavily, running straight towards a tree, running a few steps up it, and kicking off it to grab onto a tree adjacent to it.

She struggled to scale up to the branches with all the slippery, mossy growth that had formed from the humid dampness of the swamp, and pulled herself onto a sturdy branch. Taking her submachine guns from her thighs, she aimed down at California and let off controlled bursts, jumping from tree to tree whenever he threw a grenade at her.

"Get down from there!" He shouted, pulling a _oh fuck railgun!_

She shrieked as the branch was snapped from underneath her by the force of the gun, clinging to a thick vine and being swung through the air without direction, eventually slamming into one of the bulbous glowing green orbs she had saw prior. Curious, she sliced at it with her knife, kicking away from it as a neon green goopy substance poured out of the bulb and right down onto California's head.

"OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

Tali laughed as he swiped at his visor in disgust, and he shook like a dog to get the green liquid off him. It flew everywhere, painting the ground around him and the moss and trees in an interesting neon green.

"That's a good look for you!" She called down mockingly, smirking devilishly as she did so.

He looked up at her with what was probably a scowl, but she couldn't stop smiling as she swung around on the vines, and a burst of confidence jolted through her. She was number one of Freelancer. She could beat him. Just because he had Omicron with him and some new upgrades, that didn't make him a better fighter than her.

She can win this, and get rid of this headache that had plagued her and her sisters for years.

As she navigated around the treetops, she was briefly sent back to when she and Tex chased off New Hampshire through a swamp similar to this. While Tex lurked above with her camo unit, she was on the ground, charging forward in a straight line with her guns drawn and firing.

What did Tex do to scare off New Hampshire?

 _Oh right… well, this may be interesting._

She juggled a grenade in her hand as she let go of the vine she was holding and swung to another that was hanging lower, sliding down it so California was about twenty feet below her. He fired his BR up at her a few times, growling under his breath, but she kept navigating from vine to vine, trying to find where her old hiding spot was. Where was it… there!

The tree trunk was slightly charred from the small fire she caused, but it was mostly intact, and she was pleasantly surprised that just above it, a large cluster of green bulbous orbs lay suspended, thick green organic material webbing over it to keep the bulbs secure.

"This'll be interesting…" She muttered, swinging as close as she could to the thick green webbing and grabbing hold of it, climbing to the bulbs.

She slit open the middle most bulb, priming the grenade and stuffing it inside the bulb, groaning when the sticky substance stuck to her arm like glue and fizzled her shields a bit. A quick glance down showed California aiming his railgun again, and at the very last second, she jumped.

The grenade went off just as the railgun missed her and hit the bulbs she was once in front of, pockets of goo bursting like a chain effect and pouring like a slimy green waterfall down onto the swamp floor. She heard a rather womanly shriek and she muffled a snort, careful to not get any green goo on her exposed face.

"DEAR GOD STOP POURING THIS SHIT ON ME YOU BITCH!"

Not exactly what Tex had done, but eh.

Seeing that he was blind, she dropped back down to the floor, face scrunching up in disgust when her boots made a loud squelch in the ooze. She half ran, half hopped over the the trunk and fished a hand inside, pulling out her helmet that was more or less free of the green swamp goo.

Vaulting over the trunk, she tried to shake the green liquid off her helmet as she ran, hoping that she was in the right way of Tucker and the others. If not, she'd have to resort to scanning the area, but oh well.

She wiped some of the ooze off her arm and wiped it onto a tree she passed by, gagging at its foul odor. It sure did compete with the alien's stench!

No matter though, she could probably get it off of her armor after she's had a moment to rest–

"You are slippery aren't you!?"

Out of nowhere, California emerged and slammed into her, pinning her against a tree while completely coated with an obnoxious neon green, his visor showing a small hand swipe of orange tint, and before she could even process that he was here again, his hands enclosed around her throat and her helmet had fallen to the ground.

"At least you're not jumping around like a damn monkey anymore," he mumbled as his grip got tighter and tighter.

Tali gasped as circulation was cut off, no oxygen entering her lungs. Her feet scrabbled on the trunk of the tree, the bottoms of her boots sticking because of the damn goo, and her hands gripped at his arms frantically, trying to push him off her. _How the hell was he so strong?_

Black dots began to scatter across her vision, and she tried desperately to kick at him, but they were far too weak to be effective. She pawed at his helmeted head, scratched at his bulky armor, and tried to pry his fingers away, but nothing worked!

 _Shit shit shit! Taurus, you are NOT going to pass out due to lack of oxygen, you ARE NOT! If you can't protect yourself, how the fuck are you going to protect the Reds and Blues?!_

"I… I won't…" She tried to say, only for California to mock her.

"You won't what, darling? Let me hurt your friends? Too late, once you're gone, I'll be taking Libra and going after that little prick Tucker next!"

 _FUCK THIS_.

A ball of electricity the magnitude that she never dared to emit curdled in her chest, and she let it out, the intensity of it charring the tree where her back was pressed to it and California reeling back, his hands smoking and green volts running down his body.

She sucked in much needed air, stumbling away from the tree only to trip on her own helmet, falling to the ground. Panicking, she glanced over to see California stalking over towards her again, oh god, what's she gonna do against him in this state, and what was that noise–

And then she remembered. Her shields had shorted out a little when the goo dripped onto her arm. If that stuff shorts out shields…

She clumsily took one of her submachine guns from her thigh and fired blindly, seeing him jerk back from the impact and try to run. Just as he disappeared around the corner, she landed three solid hits into his leg, causing him to stumble as he ran away.

For a moment, she sat there, chest heaving as she tried to refocus her vision and catch her breath. She coughed, clutching at her throat in pain as she dropped her gun, one hand tangled into the grass underneath her and slowly laying down into the damp ground.

"I… won't lose… I _won't_ ," She gasped, eyes wide and she suddenly felt really exposed and really alone.

She had just nearly _died_.

"Holy shit…"

She startled at the voice, throwing herself back against the tree again and fumbling for her weapon, only to stop and look up at the owner of said voice because it was so damn _familiar_ …

Blinking owlishly, she coughed, "T-Tucker?"

He was brandishing his sword, the blue glow reflecting off his teal armor and the trees covered in moss around him, and he was staring down at her with the expressionless helmet. She blinked again, trying to soothe her sore throat by massaging it lightly and saying carefully, "You… you saw that?"

"The end of it, yeah…" Tucker trailed off, unsure of whether to approach or not, "I uh, heard what the dude was… telling you he was gonna do."

"Right…" She averted her eyes, picking up her helmet and brushing away the goop, "He won't go for you, not while I'm still alive," She tried to convince herself more than him, using the tree to stand unsteadily.

"…so that was California?"

 _Dear god this is awkward,_ "Yeah…"

An odd stare off began, Tali blinking constantly to rid the dots from her vision and calming her breathing while Tucker shuffled his feet, wanting to approach but afraid of how she would react.

"Where are the others?" Tali asked after a moment.

"They're a ways back. Caboose was distracted by something so I ran up here to check the uh… the scream on my own."

"Right."

And then they were staring again. _What the fuck is going on_?

"Are-are you okay?"

Tali frowned. Why was he asking that? She was fine! It wasn't like this was the first time she was faced with a life or death situation, as sad as that statement may be. She wasn't really worried about her life at this point, she was more worried about–

 _Wait, what?!_

Oh no… she had ignored her one rule in coming here and she didn't even realize it…

She cared about these idiots. She _loved_ them. Caboose's innocence, Tucker's constant forwardness, Church's poor leadership but begrudging respect, Grif and Simmons' bickering, Donut's little story he kept adding to, Sarge's raging insanity, she loved it all. She wasn't even thinking that she did until Tucker asked that one little question.

 _If one of them were to be killed…_

"Tali?"

Oh, right, Tucker's still looking for an answer. Uh… what should she say? Okay? She certainly didn't feel okay, not after this. Oh god, Libra…

All the sudden, she was pissed off. Pissed off at California, pissed off at Project Freelancer, pissed off at the Director, pissed off at Omicron just spouting _shit_. And now… woah when did Tucker get so close…?

"Tali, talk to me babe."

She resisted a snort. _Babe?_ "What?"

Tucker seemed to get a little frustrated at that, "You know, sometimes you can be the most frustrating woman I've ever known," He stated frankly, kneeling beside her and placing his helmet to the side, leveling her with a pointed stare.

Her mouth set into a firm line as she watched his eyes narrow and she suddenly registered a cool feeling on her face. Tentatively, she touched her cheek with one of her fingers, and when she pulled them back, water ran down the length of her glove.

"I don't… I don't know why I'm crying," She stated in confusion, looking over to Tucker with a perplexed look.

"You sure?"

"I… no. I don't know."

So she began sobbing. She couldn't control her body as sobs racked her entire form, and could barely register that she was now holding onto Tucker for dear life as her mind was muddled with worries that have festered in her years at Blood Gulch, and it just _sucked_.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm right here," She heard Tucker soothe through her crying, and she let out a humorless chuckle.

"Yeah… you are," She agreed, tightening her grip slightly and smiling sadly, "Thanks Tucker."

"Hey, what am I here for?" He asked with a grin, "But, ah, since I am the awesomest guy you know—"

She cut him off an annoyed look and went to reply when she heard the telltale sound of someone running…

…and then she was tackled to the ground.

"MISS TALI! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Tali chuckled, patting the blue's back gently, "I missed you too, sweetie."

" _There_ you are," Andy stated as the alien came into view, "Now we can finally get moving towards The Great Freezing Plains. Not to mention we won't hear Caboose cry babying for his mommy anymore."

"I'm not his mother!" She barked defensively, Tex and Tucker concealing grins.

Caboose stood up again, still holding onto Tali, and after she tapped his arm, he let her feet touch the ground.

She looked around, raising a brow, "Shall we be going?"

...

...

...

 _Whew, so that was a big chapter. I honestly didn't plan it to be this long, but hope you all liked it!_

 _djmegamouth: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!_

 _Well, I don't really have anything else to say... so happy writing, and Lonessa out :D_


	16. This Shouldn't Be Possible

"God, it's like we're back on Sidewinder again," Tali shivered, teeth chattering as she bounced on her feet.

"They don't call them the Great Freezing Plains for nothin'!" Andy remarked, everyone examining the snowy ground and the large base imbedded into the icy cliff.

"I'm just glad I brought my mittens…" Caboose stated frankly.

"The snow is the least of our problems," Tex said gravely, catching the attention of Andy.

"Why?"

"I'm assuming that we gotta get into the big temple base thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it has about two dozen guards on the wall."

"Oooh, fun," Tali cracked her knuckles and stepped forward, grinning.

"Fun? You _just_ had a fight with that freelancer guy!" Tucker exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I spent most of my time hating his guts during the fight. I didn't really enjoy it. _These_ guys though…" Tali jutted out a thumb towards them, "I have no emotional attachment, and I can just have fun with it."

"…You're definition of fun is very different from mine," Tucker stated after a long moment.

"Oh yeah, and what just _is_ your definition of fun, Lavernius?" Tali crossed her arms and quirked a brow at him. She wasn't flirting. Totally wasn't.

"Maybe I can show you after we get back to base," Tucker winked.

"...Let me sneak in and take them out, one by one," Tex suggested, already loading a magazine into her battle rifle as she looked between Tali and Tucker in intriguement.

"I'll get as close to the building as I can without being seen and meet up with you," Tali nodded firmly.

"Why not use your camouflage unit?"

"Damn thing burnt out," The green agent shrugged, looking forlorn.

"You seriously think that you two can take out all those guys without raising alarm?" Andy asked.

"Just watch us," Tex said smugly as she disappeared, while Tali ran out into the valley of white and quickly took cover behind a dusty white rock.

"How can I watch ya, you just turned invisible," Andy remarked.

Tali learned pretty quick that all in all, the zealots were rather unobservant. At one point, she dashed across half the damn valley and they never batted an eye at her.

It was a matter of minutes that she was climbing up the wall to the red and blue zealots conveniently chatting right by a small ledge.

And then Tex attacked one of the guards.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK, THAT HURT–OW! OW! OW! JESUS! NOW YOU'RE SHOOTING ME GIVE ME A BREAK, THIS SUCKS! THE FUCK DID I EVER SO TO YOU! **COME ON!** "

Chuckling under her breath, she pulled out her knife and heaved herself up, slicing the red zealots throat while pulling the blue zealot over the ledge and shooting him with one of her submachine guns as he fell to his death.

"REALLY? I THINK THE FALL WILL KILL ME BITCH! OVERKILL!"

And then Tucker said something far too loud, and a sniper shot went off.

Tali stepped up into the base as Tex ran forward, chucking a plasma grenade onto the man operating the machine gun, and then, all the other zealots looked over in confusion.

"Hiya fellas!" Tex chirped as she raised her battle rifle, Tali raising her own submachine guns.

"Who's next?"

And that was when the two freelancer women began the total asskicking of the unfortunate zealots.

"I always enjoy a little bloodshed with you," Tali grinned at Tex fondly, the black armored agent chuckling.

"Ditto, Tali. Now come on, let's– _What the hell is that thing?_ "

In a rush, Tex and Tali jumped off the base and looked up at the purple plane that the alien was piloting, Andy thrown to the ground in the snow while Tucker and Caboose were staring, dumbfounded.

"Where is he going?" Tali yelled in incredulity, looking to the others for answers.

"I dunno! He just kept sayin', there it is, there it is!" Andy replied in a rush.

"I thought you said there was no reward at the end of the quest," Tex pointed accusingly at the bomb.

"I didn't know!"

"If you're pissed about that, wait until you find out that this sword is really a key," Tucker waved said key around for emphasis.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tali gaped, looking at Andy, who was just as bewildered, "ANDY!"

"Hey, don't blame me! I'm just a translator!"

"Uhm… I think the alien is coming back. BAD ALIEN! GO AWAY!" Caboose waved him off, the purple plane diving straight towards them.

"Uh oh."

" _Move it, now_!" Tali screeched, shoving Caboose and Tucker behind a ice block and pushing them to the ground, "Fucking hell. This quest was all for a goddamn Banshee?!"

"How the hell do you and your sister know so much alien shit?!" Tucker asked in bewilderment, looking up at her.

The alien fired, not at them, but at a red zealot that Tali and Tex had somehow missed, and Caboose bounced up onto his feet as the zealot was gunned down.

"You know, we should really think of doing another activity when we're in these sort of positions. Bow Chica–"

"Tucker, shut up," Tali growled as she stood up and yanked the cyan soldier to his feet.

"Well, he owes me that ship. Andy, tell him to bring that thing–"

"Tex, watch out!" Tali pointed as a rocket zoomed toward the Banshee, it exploding in a mass of bluish-purple light and the wreckage tumbling to the ground, the corpse of the blue alien flying out.

"Well, shit," Tali grumbled, "This just keeps becoming more and more of a waste of time."

"Ha, you still want me to tell 'em? 'Cause I think it's down already, haha!"

Before Tex could spit out a retort, Tali heard a voice that she _really_ did not want to hear.

" _TAU! TEX!_ "

"Wyoming?" Both women said in surprise, Tali immediately placing herself in front of Tucker.

"Connecticut!"

"They're not playing a game, Caboose," Tucker said tightly, tense in the presence of the bounty hunter.

"Well, if they were, I totally would've won."

"Well, it appears I spoiled your little game! So sorry, chaps!"

"That was my ship," Tex growled lowly.

"Oh, dear. Then I stand corrected; I'm _not_ sorry!"

"Listen you little British fuck–"

"Always with the temper, Tau! Haven't I told you that you need to lessen on that? Aw, look at this! Trying to shield my contract? No need to worry dear, I'm not here for that."

"Are you and California tag teaming or something just to _piss me off_?" Tali snarled, clenching her fists.

"Wasn't my intention, my dear! But that _is_ an interesting idea…"

"You're gonna pay for that, Wyoming!" Tex yelled.

"Really Tex? You're still worried about the ship?" Tali asked with a forceful edge in her voice.

"All out of change for the moment! Catch you next time, Cheerio!" And the smug fucker _ran off_.

"Get back here!" Tali shouted, moving to run after him.

"Tali, no!" Tex placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, "I'm going after him, _alone_."

"What, _why_? We're partners, Tex!"

"You have to get Tucker and Caboose back to Blood Gulch. I'll keep in touch with you via the link, and tell you what I find!" Tex insisted, already climbing up the building and brooking no room for argument.

"Mother _fucker_!" Tali spat, stomping her foot childishly in the snow before turning to the two Blues with a frustrated groan, "Come on, let's get you two back to Blue Base."

Tucker and Caboose followed wordlessly behind her.

…

…

…

"–think it's time we started working together!"

April blinked. Was Sarge– was Sarge talking to Grif when he said that? She peeked around the corner. Yup, that's Grif and Sarge talking alright. Did the apocalypse roll around when she wasn't looking?

"Say what? Is that like a sign of the apocalypse or something?" Grif nearly dropped his gun at Sarge's statement.

"That's just what I was thinking!" April exclaimed before she could stop herself.

Grif whirled around, staring at her for a long moment. Her helmet was on, and so was his, but she had a feeling he was trying to peer through the blue tinted visor to check her eye color. Uh-oh.

" _As you know,_ " Sarge brought Grif's attention back to him, "I never liked you. Not even a little bit."

Grif sounded bored when he said, "Really."

"You've always been lazy, insubordinate, and I suspect underneath that helmet, you're extremely ugly to boot!"

April scoffed and muttered, "Wrong," Before gasping and clapping her hands over the voice filters on her helmet. _Goddamnit brain!_

"What?" Grif has whirled around again, looking as alarmed as she was, while Sarge sighed wearily. What is _wrong_ with her today?!

"April, I am sorry to say that the test you have been conducting about the effect of Grif's presence on you has failed miserably. Don't worry, we _will_ fix you somehow," Sarge said vehemently.

"Uhm… okay…" Was all April could manage, since Grif was still _staring at her_.

Before Grif turned back to Sarge, he paused for a moment before saying in his foreign tongue, " _Maika'i 'oe he nani maka, Apelila._ "

"...What does that mean?" April asked in confusion as Grif smirked behind his helmet, and his response was to merely shrug and turn towards Sarge.

"Anyway, over the years I have been so disappointed in your work, I've slowly stopped giving you things to do. Most days, I forget you even exist!"

"…Yeah. It's been a good run."

"I think we all need to realize that Simmons… is not coming back."

She tuned out the rest of the conversation as she felt another presence slowly become stronger in the back of her neck, feeling the link become connected again due to a closer proximity. She was relieved to find that it was Tali, and she reached out to try and contact the older woman.

 _:Tali? Are you there?'_

 _:…uh, yeah, I'm here. Look, can it wait? Something's… something's going on right now:_

 _:What's going on? Can I help? Should I come over to Blue base?:_

 _:No no, we're not back yet. I just… I think I'm losing my mind:_

 _:What's wrong?:_

 _:Uhm… how do I say this…:_ Tali paused for a long moment, and April could feel the disbelief filter through the link, _:Well… I think Tucker may be pregnant:_

 _:...Uhm… how are...I...Okay, I'll leave you to it then Tali:_

She does not envy her big sister right now, that's for sure.

…

…

…

God, Tucker would not stop _bitching_.

Alright, so Tali was pissed already, since Tex has brushed her off without a backward glance, Wyoming was back in the game, and she was constantly on edge because of California and his fucking surprise attack on the way to the Great Freezing Plains and Omicron with his dumb scare tactics–

Okay, so maybe the scare tactics may have worked a little. They were still _dumb_. Asshole.

Constantly, Tali was looking over her shoulder to make sure Tucker and Caboose were still there, even if the steady footfalls and crunching of foliage behind her was more than enough to ensure that, but _dammit_ she was worried. California and Omicron knew how much these guys meant to her, and that made them a target.

 _And can someone shut Tucker up for the love of god_!

She had no idea what the hell was wrong with him. One moment, he's completely fine and munching on a ration bar, and the next, he's clutching at his stomach and groaning in pain. Like, what the fuck?

It had gotten so bad that Tali ended up stopping them in the middle of the Great Swamp, and had even found a large hollow tree just so Tucker could quit bitching about the rain and how it somehow managed to weasel through his armor and make him cold.

But when he stripped down to his undersuit and laid his armor to the side, he complained about the grass being itchy.

 _Want. To. Strangle._

So, she took the bag that had all essentials inside, that being food, water, extra ammunition, and clothing, and found the blanket that she had stuffed all the way in the bottom. She laid it across the dry grass and Tucker had promptly laid down on it, finally signing in content. _Thank god!_

Caboose had already fallen asleep in the very corner of the hollow tree, curled up into a ball in his armor and all. That couldn't be comfortable, but this is Caboose we're talking about here. God bless him for not being picky, that's her thoughts on the situation.

When she _finally_ had a moment to just _breathe_ , she placed her helmet to the side and just sat there for a moment, because damn she had not had time to rest for the past couple days. And then the tiredness swept over her, her eyes suddenly drooping dangerously and she fumbled with taking off her armor pieces, leaving her also in the slippery undersuit.

"Miss Tali?"

Tali stopped, one hand still on her underarmor and her shoulder as well as part of a lime green lace bra exposed (she blamed Donut), and said hesitantly, "Yes?"

"Why is there a bull on you?" Caboose pointed to her tattoo located on the exposed left side of her chest and curving up to her shoulder.

She slapped a hand over it automatically, more of a reflex than a conscious thing, and replied with a side look to Tucker to ensure he was asleep, "Remember the project I told you I was in back when you were still at your old camp, Project Synthesis?"

Caboose nodded.

"Well, when they made me, uh, _me_ , they put this tattoo on me because of my codename, Taurus. The Zodiac Sign's animal is a bull, so I have a bull," Tali explained quietly, sparing glances at Tucker from time to time.

"Oh. Miss Tali, I do not think you are a bull. Bulls are scary. And chargey. You are nice, and bake cookies!"

Tali chuckled humorously, "Thanks Michael," _I'm not as nice as you think._

"Miss Tali, what about May?"

"May?" Tali furrowed her brows in confusion before she realized Caboose mistook April's name again, "Oh. Her codename is Aires, so she has a tattoo of a ram's head. It's a really big one on her back. Now I can tell you more about it, but later okay? Go to sleep sweetie."

"Okay, goodnight Miss Tali!"

As Caboose's breathing evened out, Tali felt immense relief and slipped out of her undersuit, rifling through the bag to put on a simple lime green camisole and black pants. She draped her hair so it covered her tattoo and laid down on the ground, ready to get some much needed rest–

"So there were two different projects? Synthesis and Freelancer?" _Goddamnit._

"Yes. I was a part of both, Tucker," Tali growled. She should have known that Tucker would be listening in.

"Oh… what did you mean by they made you you?" Tucker asked.

"Tucker, go to sleep," Tali ordered, ignoring his question and turning her back to him.

Silence filled the camp, and she resisted a sigh of content. Finally some peace and quiet– _oh, nope! What the hell is he laughing about?_

"What's so funny?" Tali tried to keep her voice neutral.

"It's just–" Tucker chuckled again, amusement filtering in his tone, "Donut was right. You look fuckin' smoking hot in lace. Wouldn't mind seeing you in it more… or be the one to take it off. Bow Chica Bow Wow!"

"Shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep before I knock you unconscious," She snapped as she rubbed the bruises coloring her neck from California's attempt to strangle her.

"Jus' sayin'."

…

…

…

 _Oh dear god this isn't physically possible._

Once Tucker claimed for the umpteenth time about the pain he was feeling, Tali discreetly ran a medical scan on the teal soldier. The results were… odd.

Positive for pregnancy.

That also led to a talk with April about it, and finally, they were back at Blood Gulch. Tali was still questioning her sanity and was wondering whether her medical scanner malfunctioned or something, but on the second night that they made camp, Tali went over to check Tucker's stomach (which had admittedly grown slightly larger) while he was sleeping. And she heard not one heartbeat, but _two_.

Church met them in front of the base and called, "Oh, look who's back! Conquering heroes, what's up guys?"

Tucker shrugged, "Meh."

"Hey, where's Tex?"

"Gone."

"Where's the alien?"

"Dead."

"Well how'd the quest go?"

"Failed."

"Yeah, basically the sword is a key, Wyoming killed the alien by blowing up a purple plane, Tex ran off after him, California was being an asshole, and now Tucker is moody as fuck and is turning into Grif when the subject of food is concerned," Tali summed up frankly, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to hide the fridge," And she stomped off into the base.

"…Okay. That was interesting," Church said after a moment.

"To sum up all future problems, two words; We suck. Now there's gotta be something edible in this damn base," Tucker ran after Tali, "Wait up Tali!"

"Tucker, _no_ ," Tali blocked the fridge, "I swear to god, if you eat everything in this fridge, I will beat the shit out of you."

"What the hell, what did I do? I'm starving!" Tucker whined, and Tali couldn't help but think _holy shit he's showing some symptoms that pregnant women do._

"Here," She handed him an apple, "See if you can keep this down, since all those ration bars didn't do you any good on the way here."

"Alright, fine," Tucker ripped his helmet off and placed it on the counter, sitting on a stool and taking a bite of the apple.

Tali waited until he threw the core into the trash and asked, "Feeling okay?"

"Yeah I'm fin– oh, _Jesus_ ," and then he ran to the bathroom.

Tali sighed, following after him as she opened the link, _:April, I'm gonna need you to get over here:_

…

…

…

"I thought you were kidding when you said that he was pregnant," April muttered as she looked at the medical report.

"You think I would kid about this? Tucker's been bitching the entire time, and despite it making no sense whatsoever, it explains the mood swings," Tali shook her head, currently free of armor.

"How the hell is he even going to give birth? He doesn't have the… y'know… lady parts!"

"I don't want to think about it right now," Tali shook her head.

"Alright, where's the patient?"

At first they held no reaction to the voice, engrossed in the oddness of the situation. But then, a lightbulb went off for both of them as they thought in an odd unison through the link, _:That voice is far too familiar for my comfort:._ At that, Tali and April froze, looking at each other with wide eyes before turning to the entrance of the base.

" _WHAT THE FUCK?!_ " Tali yelled, yanking a pistol from the table and aiming it at the purple medic, "The hell are you doing here, O'Malley?"

"Trust me, I'd rather not be here either," O'Malley grumbled.

"Now that's not very nice. It's my job to ensure the health of my patients!" Doc interrupted.

"Oh, shut up!"

"Okay, one: what the fuck, two: I'm going to kill you if you don't leave, and three: I'm going to kill you anyway after I shoot Church in the face," Tali stated factually, teeth barred.

"Woah woah woah, Tali, I called him here!" Church ran in with Caboose in tow, Andy in his hands.

" _Why_?" April screeched, hiding behind Tali.

"So he could find out what's wrong with Tucker!"

"But I already know what's wrong with him, he's–"

"Dying? Oh no!" Caboose interrupted.

"No, he's not dying, he's… how do I say this…" Tali bit her lip.

"Just spit it out, Tali, we can handle it."

"He's… pregnant."

"...Yeah, okay. Doc, get to work buddy," Church shooed the purple medic along.

"She's right, there's two heartbeats!" April exclaimed, "I double checked myself. Tucker is gonna have a baby, there's no other logical explanation!"

" _How is that a logical explanation_?!" Church demanded as Doc checked Tucker over in the other room, "Alright, one of the three of you has some explaining to do."

"Hahaha! Don't look at me! Tucker's not my type!" Andy chuckled, amused by the situation.

"Tali…" Church growled.

"The fuck? I didn't do shit!" Tali threw her arms up, "Besides, the woman is usually the one to get pregnant, not the other way around!"

"Uh, maybe we should have the uh, doctor explain just how babies are made? Y'know, uh in case someone… in the group… uhhh, may not _exactly_ know how that… happens."

"Oh my god. Caboose, shut up. Andy, blow up. April, go back to Red base. Tali, go take a nap, I'm gonna go shoot Tucker."

"No no no!" Tali blocked the doorway, "No one is shooting anyone! Look, if you don't believe me, just come in and I'll show you."

"He is not pregnant!" Church yelled, but followed Tali and April inside anyway.

"It's true, Church! Your friend Tucker is pregnant. See, my little gizmo lights up green for pregnancy," Doc pulled up his repurposed plasma pistol.

"I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds."

"Yeah, that too."

"And for infectious diseases."

"Yeah, it lights up for just about everything."

"You're really not helping convince him, Doc," April muttered, arms crossed.

"It takes a while to figure out the difference," Doc continued, unperturbed, and held it up to Church, the green light intensifying, "Like this green? It indicates a high level of anger stemming from repressed feelings of inadequacy."

"If that thing keeps talking bad about me I'm gonna fucking smash it," Church warned angrily, big surprise.

"How about we put the medical scanner away before Church snaps and goes on a rampage? A rather inaccurate rampage where he only ends up killing himself somehow," Tali suggested.

"Whatever, I still don't agree with this diagnosis," Church waved off.

"Ugh…" Tucker stumbled to his feet, clutching his head, "What diagnosis?"

"You're pregnant," Doc stated bluntly.

"Muhahaha! With a bastard!" O'Malley added.

"It's not mine! I wasn't even in town on that weekend!" Tucker exclaimed, Tali raising a brow.

"What?"

"Tucker don't listen to him. He's a lunatic man, he's got no idea what he's talking about!"

"You want me to go over the green light thing again?"

"Uh, Church, three people with actual medical experience say that Tucker is pregnant. Trust me, _he is pregnant_!" April retorted firmly.

"I used protection! Wa-wa-Wait I mean–"

Tali covered his mouth with her hand, sighing, "Just stop."

"DOCTOR! MY SECOND BEST FRIEND IS DEAD!"

 _Holy shit what the fuck is going on in this base these days?!_

"Michael, what's– oh god that's fucking gross!" Tali gagged at the human skull in Caboose's hands.

"Andy! Andy is dead, look!"

"Okay, that's disgusting," Church reeled back as Caboose shoved the skull into his face.

"Doctor Doc," Caboose began, "Please help him!"

"Uhh, I don't think I know what I can do to help since my first aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition," Doc replied flatly.

"Where'd you get that?" Church questioned while April tensed up.

"First Tucker dies and now Andy!"

"Tucker isn't dead, Michael, he's pregnant," Tali corrected.

"It wasn't mine, we weren't even going steady!"

"Stop that!"

"Hey man, I've been sayin' that for a long time. It's gonna take a little while to get used to this," Tucker remarked.

" _You're not pregnant!_ "

"I was just standing outside the base and someone told me to turn around, and when I did–"

"Wait, who told you to turn around?" Church asked, flip-flopping between two conversations at once.

"Uh… Sarge probably did," April smiled sheepishly, "He used the skull in some sort of contest earlier."

"Dear god," Church groaned, "Everybody stay here, I'll be right back."

"Wait, what do you want me to do about the pregnant guy?"

"It's not mine!"

"He's not. _Pregnant_!" Church insisted, moving to leave the base.

"What about Andy?" Caboose held out the skull.

"And that's not Andy! Look, stay here!"

As Church left, Tucker collapsed to the floor, "Ahhh, would this be a bad time to mention that my stomach started hurting really bad?"

"Oh boy…" Doc muttered.

"I'll go boil some water," April sighed while Tali and Doc helped him onto the medical cot.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK ABOUT SOUP DURING A TIME LIKE THIS?!" Caboose wailed.

"Goddamnit! Doc, explain to Michael what's happening," Tali ordered as she got to work.

…

…

…

"Alright, hold on, I nearly got it–"

"Michael, radio Church and tell him what's happening!" April ordered, the blue stepping a few feet away from the scene.

"Oh my… that's a lot of blood," Doc stared agape at the amount of blood. Funny, how the doctor of the group was standing around and _not doing anything_.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you perform a C-section Doc, now help me out!" Tali said hurriedly, thinking over and over in her mind _I'm seriously helping a man give birth right now, and that man is Tucker._

"April, make sure Michael is telling Church about Omega and not about how Andy is a skull now," Tali huffed while Doc cut the umbilical cord.

"Uh… Church and Sheila are attacking the Reds," April replied hesitantly.

"Oh, are you fucking serious?!" Tali groaned, "Michael, shuffle over here so I can talk to Church," She ordered as she turned to see if it was a boy or a girl–

"… _Blarg_."

 _Oh what the fuck._

"Church, I'm holding a fucking _alien baby_ in my hands!" Tali yelled into Caboose's comm.

" _HE'S NOT PREGNANT!"_

"Get back here!" She screeched in reply.

"Holy shit…" April trailed off staring at the blue alien in Tali's hands.

"Aww, he's so cute!" Doc cooed, who was quickly shushed by April.

The alien baby opened his eyes, immediately focusing on Tali, who was still holding onto him.

"BLAAAARG! MAMA!" _And then the thing fucking reached toward her._

April gaped as she looked at the slimy newborn alien in Tali's hands, the small little claws managing to grab a lock of Tali's green hair and bringing it close to his face to inspect. Tali was practically slack-jawed as she stared with a dumbfounded look at the alien, and April began laughing in nervousness. This could go either two ways with Tali, and she prayed that the volatile green agent would choose to be peaceful.

"...Well, I guess you're a mom?" Doc said shakily, laughing nervously.

Tali groaned, "Oh, _fuck my life_."

...

...

...

 _Hello there! Sorry about this one being much shorter than the last one. I promise the next one will be back to regular length! Right now it's at 5,000 words, so it's getting up there! The only reason this one was so short was since I realized Season 4 was rather close to an end because of where I left off last time...whoops._

 _djmegamouth: Thank you, I'm glad you liked Tali kicking some ass :). And yes, Grif has his suspicions now. I haven't quite decided when to reveal to the Reds and Blues just yet, but I have some ideas that I will be experimenting with!_

 _Boggie445: I'm glad you liked it! :D  
_

 _TheOtherSanics: Thanks, I didn't mean for it to be that long but that fight took longer to complete than I anticipated_

 _Guest: Ahh, I loved making Sister into something more! She will definitely show up soon, just you wait. And Scorpio has a rather...interesting story attached to her. Inklings of it will be revealed in Freelancer, but not all. You'll have to wait and see ;)_

 _Iron-ninja: You know, I never thought of that conclusion to California's story arc. It's an interesting idea...hm. I need to plan it out some more. And thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate getting your input on how you believe the events will play out :)_

 _Not too sure when the next chapter will be put out, but thanks to everyone that has checked out this story! You guys are the best!_

 _Well I have to run, so happy writing and Lonessa out :D_


	17. Mother Hen in the House

"Okay okay, that's enough!"

Tali had to pry the little parasite off of Caboose's neck as April caught the large blue idiot, settling him onto the couch.

"Oh… isn't he so sweet…" Caboose said airily, looking around, "Oooooohhh, pretty lights…"

"Christ Doc, why would you let him do that?" April asked heatedly, glaring at the purple medic.

"He said he would do it once I promised him orange juice and a cookie!" Doc retorted.

"He's gonna need a whole jug of the stuff at the rate this little guy was sucking his blood," Tali scowled, holding the squirming baby awkwardly in front of her.

"Mama!"

"No, no mama!" Tali scolded, her helmet off but armor on her person, "I am not your mother."

"Hehe, it's like Caboose but alien," April tried to joke.

"Mama!"

Tali groaned in exasperation.

"Aw, he's such a cute little guy, isn't he?" Doc cooed as the alien wriggled out of her grip and surged forward, wrapping his small arms around her neck and resting his head on her armor plated shoulder.

"Yeah… he's great," Tali muttered as she eyes the blue alien warily, looking squeamish, "I'm just gonna bake as many cookies as I can… and then give them all to Michael."

"Yay…" Caboose said happily, before exhaling and stating, "My body… is trying to die."

As Tali left with the alien in her arms, April piped up, "How are we gonna break the news to Church?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll tell him. I find it's almost always a better result when the news is coming from a medical professional and not a family member."

"…But Church isn't a family member to Tucker. He's just an asshole that pretends he's the leader," April said in confusion.

"Either way, I'll tell him," Doc concluded.

"Okay. But there is no way we're leaving you alone with the alien baby again," April scowled suddenly as she tipped orange juice into Caboose's mouth, "Is that good, Michael?"

"Yes…. Thank you. But tell Church… that if I die… I want him to have the rest of my orange juice," Caboose said in a grave tone.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that sweetie," April's tone dripped of sarcasm, the blue idiot oblivious to it.

"Thank you… I'm so cold."

…

…

…

After giving Caboose what was more than likely three dozen cookies, and the alien baby (she just resorted to calling him Junior) trying to bite her multiple times, she was now with Doc and April keeping her company on a little stroll.

Man, what the hell was going on with her life?

"Mama!"

"Oh my god… _stop_!" Tali whined, Junior still clutching onto Tali. He never seemed to want to let go.

"You gotta admit, Tali; the little guy is pretty cute," April smiled, helmet off as she kicked at the grass.

"Yeah, and it only makes sense that he would develop a relationship with one of the women here as a motherly figure!" Doc added unhelpfully.

"Ugh, when Tucker wakes up from that coma he's never gonna let me hear the end of this," Tali groaned, flinching away from Junior when he moved to bite her neck again, "Hey, what did I say? No biting!"

"Hey Doc, I need to radio command, you– uh, hello? Earth to Doc?" Church asked, looking at the purple medic.

"Aren't you going to say hello to our new friend?"

"Huh? Who?"

"Come on, Tali! Show him!" April encouraged.

With a sigh, Tali turned around and showed him Junior, who was still cuddled in her arms, and he gave a curious 'honk?' when he saw Church.

"I-I don't… I… I can't…can– I don't–… this is…"

"Woah, did he break you?" April asked with some amusement.

"Listen man, I'm not happy about this either, mkay?" Tali muttered, pouting as she did so, "Damnit, I said _no biting_!"

Church shook his head, "Okay, I can't deal with this right now."

" _Honk_!"

"Shut up, you're disgusting," Church refused to look at Junior, "Doc, what is Vic's number?"

"What for?" Doc asked.

"For reinforcements! Wait…unless you've had specialized combat training in the last ten minutes," Church stated sarcastically.

"Wow, what am I, chopped liver?" Tali spoke up with a huff.

" _Blarg_!"

"Hey, shut up," Church pointed a finger at the blue alien, "And Tali, you can't possibly defend the base from the Reds, a malfunctioning tank, O'Malley and his freelancer buddies, _and_ take care of Tucker, Caboose, and _that_ fuckin' thing all by yourself, can you?"

"I certainly can try."

"Yeah, okay. You do that. I'm calling for reinforcements."

"Remember Vic's jingle?" April asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes.

"If you want to talk, don't email~"

"Doc, I'm really annoyed right now, and if you continue to sing, I will shoot you," Tali growled, Junior making cooes from her arms.

"Hey, shut up, I'm on the phone–"

" _Honk_!"

"And do me a favor, kill that fuckin' thing for me," Church added as an afterthought.

" _Blarg_ ," Junior sounded a little sad.

"Uh… he didn't mean it pipsqueak," Tali comforted awkwardly, bouncing up and down on her toes.

"See? Now you're doing it! Mother Tali!" Doc exclaimed.

"Uh, what?" Church looked up, alarmed.

"Nothing! He said nothing!" Tali replied quickly.

Church looked at her oddly before answering the radio, "Hey Vic, it's Church–"

" _I'm at the casita right now, so leave your low down at the ding dong. Hasta!_ " **BEEP**!

"Hey Vic, it's Church, I need to–"

" _You have reached the voicemail system._ "

Church groaned, "Ugh, okay okay, come on."

"Oh, this'll be interesting," April murmured.

" _To leave a message, just wait for the tone–"_

"I know how to leave a goddamn message!"

" _When you're finished recording, please hang up, or press pound for more options."_

"Really? Hang up? No shit! I was just gonna keep talking until he decided to check his voicemail."

"Only Church could get mad at a automated voicemail machine," Tali sighed fondly, "Good ole Church."

"Yeah… you wanna talk?" April suggested, tuning out Church's growls.

Tali looked at Doc, who was too confused with Church's radio call to pay them any mind, and she turned back, nodding, "Sure, let's go."

April led her to a small hill a ways away from a rather large ship that had crash landed in the middle of the canyon, and they both sat and watched as the Reds bickered on what to do with it.

"You feel it? There's another A.I. around," Tali cut to the chase.

"Yes. I don't recognize it," April replied, taking off her helmet and breathing in.

"I do," Tali claimed, waiting until April looked at her and saying, "Chi. Agent Hawaii's A.I."

"…I thought you said Hawaii's A.I. was trying to take control of her so it was destroyed?"

"The Director didn't destroy Chi, but Hawaii did have the chip taken out. I think the Director wanted to try and use it for something else, but he never was able to actually do anything with Chi. But if Chi is here, then...I can only assume California brought him."

" _I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU COMPUTER PHONE LADY._ "

April and Tali looked back at the raging cobalt soldier before smirking at each other.

" _Honk_?"

April grinned down at Junior, spreading out her arms. Tali gaped, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, he's cute!"

Tali rolled her eyes before smirking devilishly, "Go see your Auntie April, Junior!"

Junior blarged his content as he toddled to April, arms outstretched. April's smile had frozen on her face and she had to blink several times before she came back to herself. She scooped Junior up in her arms and cooed, "That's right, Auntie April is here."

"Uh… I meant it as a joke, April."

"I know," April murmured quietly, her finger captured by Junior as he peered curiously at it, "…hey, Tali? Do you think...do you think California could have gotten to Hawaii?"

"What?" Tali jerked her head around to stare at her, flabbergasted, "I...oh, gosh, I hope not. Why would you think of that?"

"Well...we haven't exactly heard from her in a while," April began, biting her lip in thought, "And California supposedly navigated through the cave system to get to Blood Gulch. Hawaii always stays down there. And who knows, maybe California thought Chi could convince her to help him and his wacko A.I."

"Maybe," Tali thought for a moment before her eyes went wide in realization, "Wait a second, that's exactly what he was doing! Well, in a way at least. You see, when Chi became more disobedient as the time went by, Hawaii would find herself doing things she hadn't meant to. Chi ended up nearly taking control of her body completely before anyone realized what was going on. An easy way to get Hawaii to help him is to implant her with Chi again!"

"There has to be some way to help her if that's true, right?"

"I'd need to jump into Kai's mind, but I can get Chi out of there," Tali nodded in confidence, "Chi wasn't the strongest A.I., so it should be fairly simple to execute."

"Well that's one thing going for us," April sighed in relief, "Do you want to check up on Tucker now?"

"Eh, sure," Tali stood, though the slight worry that was in her eyes wasn't unnoticed by April. Tali went to start walking before looking down at Junior. With a huff, Tali scooped Junior up, ignoring the knowing look April gave her, and smiled softly at the alien, whom immediately hugged his 'mother'. She beckoned April to follow as she turned and headed to Blue base.

"Come on Junior. Let's see how your dad is doing."

" _Blarg_!"

" _THERE IS NO ELEVEN YOU FUCKING_ _ **WHORE**_ _!"_

"Is he still arguing with the voicemail system?" April asked in disbelief as she jogged to meet Tali's pace.

Tali sighed, "Seems so. Oh, and when Tucker wakes up, do you mind helping me fill him in?"

" _Bow Chica Honk Honk!_ "

Tali and April gaped at the innocent little alien, before turning to each other and saying in freaky unison.

"Definitely Tucker's kid."

And at that, they marched to the base.

…

…

…

While April was playing with Junior on the ground, Tali could be seen frowning deeply at the sleeping teal soldier.

"When is he gonna wake up?"

"Dunno. Why are you so stressed about it?" April retorted, throwing Junior into the air before catching him again. Every time Junior was thrown up, he would release a series of Blargs and honks in panic, before squealing happily when April caught him.

"Because I'd rather not have to deal with this every day," Tali said flatly, slapping Tucker's cheek, "Wake up!"

"Are you sure that's the _only_ reason?" April teased, Junior looking over at Tali with a curious noise.

" _Yes_ , April," Tali hissed through gritted teeth, glaring at the brunette, "Don't you have somewhere to be? Like making sure the Reds aren't dying?"

"They can survive without me for a while," April waved off her questioning, biting her lip, "And I'd rather not be there right now, to be completely honest."

"Why's that?" Tali asked in concern, raising a brow.

April huffed a sigh, rocking Junior back and forth in her arms, "When I was out of armor… well, Grif saw my eyes go all, uh, flashy. So, I'm curious as to what happened out on your quest."

Tali froze for a millisecond, eyes widening before a tidal wave of emotions washed over her, her green eyes glowing bright. April's began to revert to a hazardous orange as well, her feelings filtering through the link again.

"Tali," April warned, "It's happening right now."

"A lot of things happened," She murmured quietly, "It's… it's a lot to take in at once."

"I've already got an idea of the pain, so spill it," April encouraged kindly, rising from her seat and sitting on the opposite side of Tucker's cot, Junior reaching out to his comatose father.

"First California showed up again," Tali rubbed at her temples, a headache suddenly forming, "And Omicron was saying… saying some stuff."

April spoke after a long pause, "Stuff like…?"

"About us. He was telling me how the sim troopers depended on me too much, what their faults were. He mentioned Libra…" Tali bit her lip, remembering two bits of Omicron's speech that she really did not want to think about, two bits that plagued her mind and brought nightmares into her daydreams.

"Tali, you can tell me anything," April said carefully, "I can help."

 _No, you can't. You can't help me prove that I can have a new start here. You can't help me rid Omicron's whispers from my skull. You can't help me clear these conflicted emotions. You can't help me with California, because he's stronger, and Omicron is stronger, more confident than I'd like to admit. You can't help me against Wyoming, because he's deadlier, you can't help me with Tex because even I can't track her, and I'm her partner for god's sake! You can't help me protect the Blues because there's too many damn enemies for me to count that can overwhelm you, and you can't help me with these human feelings that I'm getting toward… toward…_

Her whirlwind of thoughts were silenced as her mind trailed off, the last word caught in her throat that she just thought of impulsively, and she was suddenly just so confused.

Why was she caught up in the thought now? Throughout all her life as one of the living, she had a clear mind, a frank purpose. First it was with her partner, her sister in arms, Allison. Her purpose was to watch her six and finish the mission. When she arrived here, it was simple, protect the Alpha, make sure no sim troopers die. But now…

She had to watch her sister, since Omicron had taken an interest in her case, watch the Blues, because Church was her original purpose and Caboose was just too childish and Wyoming was hunting Tucker. She had to watch the Reds, since they still think the war is real and shoot real guns with real bullets at the Blues, and she had to _protect_ them on top of that. She had to watch for Tex, who has phased in and out of her life too many times than she could count. She had to keep her senses heightened for any A.I. lurking by, and it was all just so much for one woman.

But _was_ she a woman?

 _Fuck, this is the worst time to have a fucking identity crisis._

Her eyes involuntarily eased over to Tucker's form, which was still comatose, and when did she start stroking his cheek? Oh, _fuck…_

The Director may have implanted everything necessary to know about human behavior but she never realized until _now_ that she would have to figure out feelings on her own.

April noticed the eye movement and seemed to just notice the hand still resting on Tucker's cheek and broached carefully, "Something… something about Tucker?"

"He said–" Tali inhaled sharply, because damn did feelings _suck_ , "He was saying Tucker follows me around a lot. Like, keeps watch on me more than the others… I-I don't know…"

April was silent as Tali tried to process her thoughts, noting that she was rubbing her thumb across her fingernails that were covered in the armored gloves, a small tell that she had picked up. The brunette didn't miss the emotion stirring in Tali's eyes and how the older woman seemed to be trying to remind herself to breathe.

" _Stop it,_ you're a danger to him…" Tali muttered to herself, retracting her hand from Tucker's face as if she had been burned. April gaped.

"What did you just say?"

Tali jumped, realizing that her small aside was loud enough to be heard by April, and blinked, deciding that since she already heard, there was no use denying it, "April, I'm not safe to be around, and you know this."

"…okay, fuck this. Since you refuse to let yourself believe it I'm gonna cut straight to the point here," April snarled after a moment's pause, startling Tali and causing Junior to look up curiously at her, "It only took a few talks with you to figure out that you try to keep everyone here, the exception being Tex and I, at arms length."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! Aside from that heart to heart you had with big brother a while ago, you haven't had a meaningful conversation with him, despite your protectiveness of the Reds you threaten them to scare them away, Michael thinks of you as a mother, and Tucker–"

"Stop it!"

" _Tucker_ , believe it or not, is head over heels for you, sis. No joke, you managed to make the freakin' guy that claims he doesn't do relationships fall for you. I can _see_ it, Tali. And I can see that you obviously care about him too, so don't–"

" _I'M A FUCKING HAZARD_!" Tali suddenly shrieked, gritting her teeth and breathing through her nose sharply to calm herself, "I'm supposed to be the best of the best but whenever I go out on a mission _something_ goes wrong, whether it be faulty information or one of my team _dying_! And I can't–" Tali stopped herself, biting her lip so hard she could taste the coppery tang of blood on her tongue, "I already lost my past, all that I've known. If I get close to these guys and I _lose_ them…"

"Sis… just because you were through something like that doesn't mean you have to punish yourself over it. You deserve to be happy, Tali, out of everyone I know you deserve it most," April gushed, voice timid, "You're always prepared for the fight and you lead well, but you don't act smug about it, you don't lash out at your competition, and you always know how to get out of a jam. You've done _so much_ for your friends, even if they aren't here right now. If you push these guys away, you won't be _living_."

"I… I-I don't… I don't want to lose another family. I don't even know what happened to the Freelancers–"

"They're out there somewhere," April stated simply, voice gentle, "They never said goodbye, so they have to be. Besides, I remember Tex saying to me that if you don't say goodbye, you're not really gone. You're just not here right now."

"You can't possibly think that all the Freelancers could have survived."

"The lower ranking agents might not have, but agents like York and North could have. Hell, Wyoming survived! And California! Not really good examples since they're trying to kill us, but…"

"Yeah," Tali visibly deflated, looking so utterly defeated and just so damn _tired_ , and she couldn't help but glance at Tucker again, just willing him to please _wake up_ , "…So you think… think that I should, uhm… open up?"

"I'm not saying you have to go around spewing your feelings to everyone," April was quick to clarify, "Just don't keep shutting them out and avoiding them… and threatening them, because Grif and Simmons are seriously scared of you."

Tali let out a humorless laugh, looking down at her lap as she shifted uncomfortably on the chair beside Tucker's bed, "I don't even know why I did that to be honest. Everything was just so foreign, so unknown, and I was… I was _scared_. Scared that I couldn't cover all the bases, scared that something would happen to them, that I just didn't think, I just said it to get them to sober the fuck up and focus. I guess that didn't help my relations with the Reds very much."

"Well you certainly caught the favor of Sarge since you threatened Grif, not to mention that Donut always gushes about his code name you gave him and your adventures," April smiled softly.

Tali grinned slightly in return, eyes still cloudy as she tried to word her next question, "So… about the Tucker thing…"

"Let me ask you this, okay? Do you care about him?" April went straight to the point, knowing exactly what Tali was thinking.

"Yes, I do. It's just… ah, hell. He's got so much on his plate and me just piling my problems on him once he wakes up is just so… so… so _horrible_!"

"Well, that leads to another question," April began slowly, "So he's shared a room with you, you've joked around, he's helped you through your moments while you protected him the best you possibly could. He always listens to you even when he doesn't want to, he coaxes you to sleep to help your well being, he helps you with the breakdown after California, and he entrusts you to help him on the quest out of all of us. With all that being said, how can you say he _doesn't_ care for you? The Blue team's problems are his problems anyway, and he never had to get mixed with the Freelancer bullshit, did he? Yet he was always there for you when you couldn't hold yourself up."

Tali swallowed heavily as she let that sink in. It _was_ all true. She had even thought it back in the Great Swamp, he had been there before Tex had even shown her face. And she did say that she trusted him…

But how the hell does a relationship like this work? Between a human and a Human-A.I. Hybrid that's hiding her true identity from him?

April seemed to know just what her doubt was, and took a breath to speak again, "You don't have to jump into anything, Tali. A start would be… I dunno, trying to get to know him as a person. Or maybe showing a little affection, hmm?"

"I guess… okay, I'll try it out," Tali accepted after a heavy sigh, before suddenly snapping back to the beginning of the conversation, "Hold up a sec! You said Grif _saw_ your eyes?"

"Uh… I was kinda hoping you forgot that."

"April…"

"Okay okay, here's what happened," April relented, "I was taking care of Grif since Simmons decided to be an asshole and use him as a punching bag, and he was asleep! Then I started feeling that stuff, and Grif woke up all the sudden and asked about my orange eyes!"

" _Fuck_ ," Tali uttered defeatedly, rubbing a hand down the side of her face wearily, "So does he know?"

"No, but he's suspicious. But that's mostly my fault, since after he pointed it out, I kinda… ran away."

"Well this day is just fucked isn't it?" Tali asked rhetorically, leaning back in her chair, "So you've been avoiding him I'm guessing?"

"Yeah… and the one time I accidentally butted into a conversation between him and Sarge with my big mouth, I could tell he was trying to get a glimpse of my face through the visor. And then he said… _something_ in Hawaiian," April added sheepishly, averting her eyes to the floor.

"What exactly did he say?"

"Uhm… something like… _Ma-Maika'i 'oe he nani maka, Apelila_."

Tali blinked as that registered before she smirked slyly, something that April was immediately wary of. Tali, for one, knew that April didn't know Hawaiian, and wasn't about to tell her what exactly Grif told her.

"And here you tease _me_ about my romantic life."

"W-Wait, what did Grif say? Do you know?"

"I think you need to ask that question to Grif. And don't worry about the whole eyes flashing thing. I mean, I spilled half my life story to Caboose and Donut already," Tali winked before continuing, "Now you go ahead and take Junior out for some fresh air. He's probably sick of the smell of antiseptic anyway."

Tali's expression didn't go unnoticed by April, but she stood reluctantly with Junior in her arms anyway, slowly walking to the exit. Deciding something, she said over her shoulder, "We've both been through worse, Tali. We can pull through this."

"I know," Tali replied, before murmuring to herself, "I just need him to wake up."

Sensing she needed to be alone for a bit, April said nothing and walked out into the sunny canyon.

…

…

…

"So, yellow armor guy huh?"

Church turned around in surprise, seeing Tali with her arms crossed behind him, and answered, "Yeah, that's what I've been trying to explain to this idiot for five minutes. Hey Caboose, pass the sniper to Tali will ya?"

"Oh, hello Miss Tali! Would you like me to show you how to use the sniper rifle, because I totally know how. Yes, I can operate it perfectly and I have seen the yellow person. Who is very scary, and is a new gun."

"It's a _person_ , not a gun, Caboose," Church groaned.

Tali rolled her eyes, taking the sniper rifle from Caboose's hands. She peered through the scope and forced herself to not to tense. There Hawaii was, in her yellow armor with deep purple accents, "Let's see here… oh yeah, yellow armor. What's the big deal?"

"The _big deal_?! What if it's a special ops guy? Oh man, I bet he's trained in knives… or balls kicking," Church grumbled.

Tali nearly chuckled at the thought. _Hawaii isn't nearly as violent as Church suspects,_ "No, you're wrong on a lot of things there, brother."

"And how would you know?"

"Uh, who has the sniper rifle here?" Tali asked rhetorically as she peered through the scope again, "Alright, one: it's not a guy. It's another chick. Two: I know her, big surprise. Her name's Kaikaina, and she generally doesn't like to engage in combat. And three: She's a Freelancer."

"Oh… I thought the scary yellow man could've been a medic," Caboose muttered.

"Caboose, we aren't that lucky," Church addressed Caboose's comment before rounding on Tali, "And seriously? A Freelancer? I didn't know that the Reds would stoop _that_ low."

"You do realize that Tex and I are Freelancers right?" Tali raised a brow, lowering the rifle.

Church ignored her comment, and instead murmured to himself, "Well at least she's a chick, so it'll be easier to fight her."

"You do realize that Tex and I are Freelancer _chicks_ right?"

"Alright, _yes_ , I understand that Tali. The difference is that you two are fueled by the desire to kill your enemies just for the hell of it. If that chick is a pacifist like Doc down there, that makes things a hell of a lot more easier," Church explained impatiently.

"Yes. Because she is not violent. Other people suck on her."

"That's a _pacifier_ , Caboose," Church corrected with barely contained anger, and Tali thought she heard a very faint ' _Bow Chika Bow Wow'._

"I never said she was a pacifist. And just because she doesn't like to fight doesn't mean she can't kill you with her bare hands, dumbass," Tali rolled her eyes, shoving the sniper rifle into his arms, "And if we're talking skill in combat, I can say without doubt that she is better than everyone in this canyon besides myself and Tex."

"…tougher than April?"

"April is like a rookie to Freelancer's when fighting is involved, Church," Tali confirmed blandly, "If I remember right, April was ranked #13 by Freelancer standards and #4 by Synthesis."

"Oh. That's not good. September is very good at shooting things. I saw her shoot things before, _and she rarely missed_ ," Caboose whispered the last part loudly.

"Alright, thank you Caboose. Anyway, about this Freelancer–"

"I wonder if she likes to do the Hey Chica Bump Bump with aliens like Tucker does."

" _Thank. You._ Caboose," Church said again, teeth gritted, "About this Freelancer–"

"I hope she likes puppies."

" _CABOOSE, SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!_ " Church exploded, hands clenched and body rigid.

"Would you calm down?" Tali said, oddly zen about the situation, "Kai's cool, so don't worry about it."

"But she's on the other team!"

"You do know that April has been hanging around us more than her own team, right?" Tali retorted, raising a brow.

Church groaned, sounding defeated, "You know what? I don't understand half the shit that goes on this canyon, so fuck it. Tali, you can deal with this one."

"Alright. Not like I haven't been dealing with this bullshit already," She mumbled under her breath.

"Excuse me? _You_ have been dealing with this bullshit? I think fucking not!" Church protested, crossing his arms and if she were to guess, trying to make his robot parts scowl at her.

She met his glare with her own blazing look, lips curled into a snarl, "Oh, _I'm sorry_ , how silly of me! I mean, your contributions of oh what was it? Arguing against science, provoking a talking bomb, and inviting our _mortal enemy into our base_? Yeah, really fucking helpful there, Church. It's like you're holding up the entire damn team!"

"It was necessary to call a medical professional–"

"Meanwhile, me being my normal lazy self, protected two team members on a potentially life threatening quest, battled against a Freelancer, performed a cesarean on a _man_ to extract an alien parasite from his stomach, and then tried my best to make sure Michael doesn't fall into a fucking coma due to blood loss because said alien baby was sucking blood out of him because an untrained medical professional that _you_ let into our home allowed him to do so!" Tali ended her rant with a withering glare, growling, "Yeah, I do _nothing_ around here!"

A long silence followed, Church very still while Caboose was looking between them, cowering and whimpering to himself, "I don't like it when mommy and daddy fight…"

That comment turned Church's ire to the blue idiot, "What. The. Fuck."

"Hey!" Tali snapped her fingers, "You keep him out of this, and look at me. Now _please_ tell me, what were you saying before?"

"Goddamn, seriously Tali? It's not like we're competing, relax!" Church chuckled nervously, holding up his hands in a placating way.

Tali placed her balled up fists on her hips, leaning forward slightly as she replied angrily, "Can you not be a fucking asshole for once and just realize that the whole team doesn't circle around _your_ well being?"

"Woah, should I come back later?"

The familiar voice sent a jolt down her spine, and she froze as her eyes grew as wide as saucers, Church and Caboose turning to see the man in teal looking at the trio in confusion and wariness. How he had managed not only to make it out of the medical bay, but also equip his armor was an unknown to her, but _holy shit_ how was he walking around right now?

Tali herself was frozen in place, shock and elation coursing through her veins because holy crap, wasn't she just worrying herself to death over him a while ago, and why the hell are Church and Caboose greeting him like it was nothing? This was amazing!

"Hey, what's that big thing?" Tucker suddenly pointed to the ship that was behind them all.

"Oh that's Church."

" _He means the ship Caboose_!" Church growled, grip tightening on the sniper rifle.

Why can't she move? What the hell is going on? _OhgodcomeonTalipullittogether–_

"Uh, and why is Tali giving me that look?" Tucker asked a little nervously, and she just realized that she accidentally turned her glare from Church to Tucker. Oopsies.

"Well, Church was saying some things about how he was the best and all that but Miss Tali didn't agree and then they started arguing… again," Caboose summed up.

"Yeah, but why is she glaring at _me_?"

"…Oh."

To the best of her ability, she relaxed her muscles and eased her arms back to her sides, resisting the urge to surge forward and hug Tucker because _holy shit she was so worried_. Behind her visor, her glare softened and a sigh of relief escaped her mouth, shoulders slumping in sudden weariness.

"Hey, Tali? You okay?" Tucker broached, and Tali snapped for the second time in the span of four hours. Wow, she really shouldn't bundle all this shit up.

But seriously, he just woke up from a fucking coma and he's asking about _her_?!

"Of course I'm not okay!" She yelled, flailing her arms around, "I had to cut open your fucking stomach and get that thing out of you and then had to keep watch over you while you were in a coma that I wasn't sure you were gonna wake up from and _I'm not okay_!"

"Uh…"

 _Fuck it,_ Tali thought, stomping towards a rather befuddled Tucker, and muttered, "Just get the hell over here."

And then she flung her arms around him, her helmeted head resting on his shoulder as she stood on her toes to reach his shoulders, and despite it being awkward with the height difference and the bulky armor it was just such a _relief_.

"Don't _scare_ me like that," Tali pleaded in a much too desperate tone for her liking, but she honestly didn't care at the moment, because he was hugging her back now and knowing he was there with his hands on her upper back and arms around her was so _comforting_.

"Hey, just relax. I'm okay," Tucker soothed in a soft tone, something unidentifiable in the undercurrents of his voice.

As much as she had loved to stay in that moment, Church had decided to ruin it by coughing awkwardly and saying, "Standing right here…"

She wanted to tell her brother to fuck off, just to let her have this _one moment_ , but she knew it was neither the time nor place. With reluctance, she eased her arms back to her sides and stepped away from Tucker, and the blindingly hopeful part of a brain wondered if that small delay on Tucker's part was his reluctance to release her as well.

She beat that thought down. She may know her feelings, but she wasn't low enough to force everything on him at once.

"So, I guess it's about time you saw your kid, huh?" She chirped with a little too much giddiness, if Church staring blatantly at her and Tucker looking at her as he nodded slowly was any indication.

"Yeah, I guess. How the fuck did I have a kid anyway? Isn't that physically impossible or some shit?"

"Fuck if I know man. The shit that happened to you was straight out of _Aliens_. I half expected your stomach to burst open and a little worm thing jump out," Church stated bluntly.

"Thanks for the mental image, asshole," Tali mumbled under her breath as she slid down the side of the base, calling up, "Follow me, Junior's down here!"

"Junior?" Tucker repeated, landing from his jump off the base beside her and walking along with her, Church and Caboose not far behind.

"Yeah. We didn't know what you wanted to name him, so we just resorted to calling him that."

"…I like it."

Tali smiled, though the action was lost thanks to the helmet, and instead nudged him with her shoulder instead, hearing a disgruntled 'tsking' noise made by Church behind her. _Whatever_.

She spotted April crouching on the hill with her back to them, and she grinned a little behind her visor. April had taken a real liking to the little alien, and for some reason, the alien had taken a liking to them both.

Maybe the little guy was starting to rub off on her a bit.

"Hey April!" She called over to the brunette, who turned to look at her, helmet less, so she could see her shocked look when she spotted Tucker beside her.

"Well well, look who's finally awake? How was your slumber, Sleeping Beauty?" April played off her shock for humor, grinning easily at the aqua soldier.

"Haha, very funny," Tucker snarked, looking around, "So, uh… where's Junior?"

"Over here Tucker. Here's your little monstrosity," Church stated with a little disgust as he looked down at what they assumed to be Junior, since Church's fat ass was in the way.

Tucker walked up to stand beside Church and looked down at his son, Tali standing back and shrugging when April looked at her curiously. Tucker paused for a long moment before asking, "Uh, what do I do?"

"What do you mean?" April asked as her brows furrowed, cocking out one hip, "Junior's still an infant. All that he really needs is love and affection."

Tucker as well as Church stared at her blankly, to which she rolled her eyes and stepped toward Junior (Tali still couldn't see him) and cooed, "Hey buddy," and held out her arms.

" _Blarg!_ " Junior chirped, toddling into view as he ventured into April's arms, the brunette cradling him in her arms and standing upright, looking to Tucker.

"See?"

"Uh… yeah, I guess," Tucker stated without confidence.

"Am I the only one that thinks that this is entirely insane? It's an _alien baby_!" Church stressed, provoking a glare from April.

"And he's also Tucker's son, so deal with it Church," She scowled, before her face smoothed out and she turned back to Tucker, "Wanna try?"

"Uhh…"

"Hey man, if all else fails, just strike up a conversation about how his species likes to rape people and is a knock off version of the _Aliens_ series."

" _Shut up_ , Church," April growled, smacking him when he hissed _chest bursters_ to Tucker loudly.

April offered Junior up for Tucker to take, who reached out hesitantly, holding the blarging and honking baby a ways away from his helmeted head. Junior reached forward and tapped his… talon? Whatever the alien equivalent to a finger was on the orange visor, tilting his head in curiosity before blarging excitedly.

"Uh…"

"Relax Tucker. That means he likes you," Tali's voice was laced with amusement as she walked toward them, smiling at Junior despite her helmet covering her face.

Junior turned his gaze to Tali, blarging in confusion again, and Tali realized that Junior has never seen her with her helmet off. She released the clasp and slid it off her head, letting it drop to the ground beside her as she smiled kindly at the alien, "Hey pipsqueak."

Junior wriggled in Tucker's grasp with vigor after he saw Tali's face, reaching his hands out to her and blarging, " _Mama!_ "

 _Oh fuck… she was screwed._

"Okay, I'm pretty sure I didn't mishear it that time," Church said slowly, before bursting out, " _What the fuck, Tali_?!"

How the hell was she supposed to explain this? It wasn't her fault that Junior started calling her Mama not five seconds after he was out of the womb! And why the hell is the only word that he could form that _wasn't_ Sangheili 'mama'?

April was no help whatsoever, hands flying to muffle the full blown laughter trying to escape from her mouth, while Caboose looked to be _pouting_ behind Church. Tucker on the other hand was completely still and she couldn't read his expression because of the damn visor, while her face was open to interpret the emotions crossing her mind. _Double fuck_.

"He just… calls me that," Tali said lamely, looking sheepish as she offered her finger to Junior, the small alien gripping it and examining it curiously.

Tucker was still for a moment, before slowly moving Junior so he was able to reach out and grasp for Tali's chest piece, and said in an uncertain tone, "I think he wants his mother."

Tali blinked, gaze darting up to Tucker's visor to try and see his expression through the glass, but to no avail. Here was no sexual orientated comment, no jokes, but instead this, something that seemed like nothing but spoke much more.

Church mumbled something close to 'insane sisters' before walking off, Caboose close behind, while April backed away with an encouraging smile on her face. She saw none of this, but instead gently took Junior from his grasp and let the little alien cling to her shoulder guard. She looked up and smiled softly at Tucker, rubbing gentle circles into Junior's back, and hesitantly leaned against the teal soldier.

Something warm and fuzzy bubbled in her chest when she felt his arm circle around her waist, her cheek pressed into the side of his chest piece and eyes fluttering closed against her will. Junior was looking up at Tucker happily and blubbering nonsense to him, and she just thought how ridiculously comical yet sweet they must've looked.

"I missed you," Tumbled out before she could stop it, and she could feel the arm around her tense for a moment before it slowly relaxed.

"I missed you too," Tucker replied, and she thought she could hear sincerity in his voice along with something else.

But it didn't matter. She was just living in the moment.

...

...

...

 _Hey there guys. Longer chapter as promised, I hoped you liked it :D_

 _TheDeathly-Z: She will act similar at first, but only because of her A.I. Chi. I have plans for smart! Sister_

 _djmegamouth: Well I do admit the idea probably briefly crossed Tali's mind XD_

 _TheOtherSanics: Eventually all the actions the OC's have made (like the lightning and glowy eyes) will be explained. I've had it planned out for a while actually_

 _Iron-ninja: Haha, I've had the Mama!Tali thing planned from the start and I was so excited to finally post it! The Tucker/Tali ship will always sail strong :)_

 _Boggie445: Yeah the only reason that one chapter was nearly 9,000 words was due to that long fight scene between California and Tali. I normally put my chapter length to at least 5,000 words_

 _Guest: Ah yes, out of everything Tali being a mother has got to be the most amusing thing to me. And as for what Grif said, well, I will reveal that in a future chapter, but I will say that it was a compliment :)_

 _So, next update is not going to be until next week at least, since I will be going on a little vacation and spending time with family with no internet access...not sure how I'll survive, but I'll find a way. I will be sure to work on my stories during my time there however._

 _Happy writing, and Lonessa out :)_


	18. Glowing Marks

Tali had just changed into her nightclothes when Tucker walked in, looking rather tired.

"Hey. Junior wear you out?" She asked knowingly, smirking slightly.

"Kids got too much energy for his own good," Tucker groaned in reply as he flopped down on the bed, armor and all.

Tali shook her head and held back a laugh as she stowed the rest of her armor away in the cylindrical storage unit, pressing a few buttons to let it slide back down to become a part of the floor. She rifled through her storage case set in the corner and plopped down beside Tucker with a book in her hand.

"April had to go back to Red base. She'll try to drop by to say hi to Junior though," Tali informed him as she flipped open the book and began to skim the introduction.

"I think she spends more time over here than she does with her own team," Tucker mused, still unmoving and laying spread eagle.

"That's what I said!" Tali exclaimed, diverting her eyes to glance at him for a moment, "…are you gonna lay there until morning?"

"Fuck yeah. I'm not movin' for shit. Luckily I got Doc to babysit for the night, so we don't have to worry about that." _Well this felt weirdly domestic._

A blush dusted over her cheeks when he mentioned 'we' and she cleared her throat awkwardly as she hurriedly dived back into her book, "Unless you want to have a bunch of pains and be cranky tomorrow I'd suggest changing out of your armor."

Tucker groaned as he slowly stood, standing as he pulled off his helmet with a huff and threw it gloomily into his own armor storage. Tali diverted her eyes back to her book, but the words blurred together until it was just smudges of black on crisp paper. She couldn't _focus_ around him dammit!

"What're you reading?" She heard him ask, and looking up at him _oh what the fuck?_

"Uh… Tucker…" She stuttered as she furrowed her brows, eyes drawn to the tribal-like tattoos that curled up his arms, on his neck and on his pectorals. She was pretty sure he didn't have those before!...

"What? Like what ya see, baby?" He smiled wolfishly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"The fuck are these?" Tali jumped up, moving around so she was standing in front of him and gently thumped a hand on one of the tattoos on his chest.

Tucker looked down and blinked, slowly extending his arms and twisting them to see all the tribal ink, "Uhh… I never had these before, Tali."

Tali palmed her forehead, sighing in exasperation as life won't give her a break, and ran over to the terminal implanted into the wall, quickly calling the terminal over at Red base.

The screen flickered to life and it was revealed that Grif answered.

" _What the– why the hell are you calling, Blues?_ "

"Grif, I need to speak with April. It's important," Tali rushed out, glancing over at Tucker worriedly.

" _Why? I thought she was over with you guys._ "

"She was, but she returned to base not long ago. Can you just look in her room or something?" Tali asked in exasperation, tapping her fingers on the desktop.

" _That would require effort. Effort to help the enemy, at that. So no._ "

Tali felt a flash of annoyance flood through her, that odd feeling of heat passing over her face before she tapered it down, and replied, "Grif, come on, we aren't fighting at the moment. Besides, wouldn't it be good to know where your own teammate was?"

Grif groaned irritably, though she could see on his face that a twinge of worry broke through, and he disappeared from view for a moment, calling April's name. A couple minutes passed until he ran back (a rather alarming activity since it was Grif who executed it) and said breathlessly, " _She's not in or around the base!_ "

Eyes going wide, Tali thought quickly, "She left not an hour ago, she should be there! Okay okay, hold on…"

" _Shit, this is not good. Simmons, can you check the cliffs? See if she's there?_ " Grif called to the maroon soldier off screen, full blown panic on his face for display now as he turned back to the screen, " _Are you sure she's not at Blue Base?_ "

Tali honed in on the link for a moment, hearing the familiar buzz that was far too faint to be in close proximity to Blue base, and shook her head no in response. Grif rubbed his chin with his hand, looking down as he thought, and Tali tried to assure him, "Grif, we'll find her, okay? April's tough, and she can handle herself. Hell, she may have just went to explore the cave system."

" _Yeah… okay. Sarge is already planning a search party. I guess I'll let you know…?_ " Grif posed it as a question, uncertainty lacing his voice.

"I'd appreciate it, Grif," She thanked him sincerely, managing to smile a bit as well.

" _Okay. Uh, I gotta go. Fuckin' Sarge and his 'funeral'…_ "

Tali furrowed her brows, "What's this about Sarge and a funeral?"

" _Wha– oh nothing! Nothing at all, just… bye._ "

Grif abruptly ended the call there, jolting Tali back to the situation she originally called Red base for. While biting her lip, she theorized to Tucker, who was standing a ways away with his arms crossed, "It has to be because of the alien birth. I can't think of another reason random tattoos would show up on your body… unless Michael snuck in and doodled on you with black marker."

Tucker shrugged, "Well, what am I gonna do? It's not like I can remove 'em, so eh."

Tali blinked, before huffing a chuckle, "Okay then."

"So… April?"

"She's probably fine," Tali replied, feeling the link again, "I can imagine why she wouldn't want to go back to Red base. She had a… falling out with Grif."

"Oh, I see," Tucker nodded his head, walking over to the light switch.

"Are you gonna, y'know, put a shirt on?" Tali raised a brow at him.

"I wouldn't want to deprive you of the show, babe," He replied cheekily, eliciting an eye roll from her.

She shut down the terminal and plopped down on the bed, stretching her legs out in front of her and picking up her book. After turning on the bedside lamp, she nodded at Tucker, who flicked off the lights.

"…Uh… Tali?"

"Yeah, what is it– oh."

As if the tattoos weren't enough, well, they _fucking glow_ everyone!

 _Definitely alien_ , was all she could think on the matter, the pure blue color matching Tucker's armor color to the tee, casting a luminescent shine over himself and the room around him. She dog eared the page and leaned forward, asking, "Does it hurt?"

"No. Feels kinda… tingly," Tucker mused, rotating his arms around and popping his back.

"Okay…" Tali replied, just staring at the aqua glow bouncing around the room that was oddly soothing due to the haziness. She blinked, before she just started smiling, and then a few giggles escaped, and then suddenly she was in full out rambunctious laughter that she wasn't even sure what caused it.

Tucker, now looking very concerned and very wary of the green haired woman, took a step back before steeling himself and cautiously moving forward, eyes narrowing at the woman still clutching her stomach as tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes.

"You fucking– you fucking have glow in the dark tattoos, how the hell does that make any sense!" Tali choked out, finding the situation somehow hilarious and _dear god she has to breathe it hurts_ –

Tucker sat down on the other side of the bed cautiously, eyeing the woman as he swung his legs up onto the bed and simply raised a brow, waiting for Tali to calm down.

"…Sorry," Tali said after a moment, wiping at the tears that fell due to her outburst, "Just _this fucking canyon man_ …"

"Yeah," Tucker agreed, chuckling himself, "I know."

…

…

…

The thrum of an engine vibrating the cool metal that Tali was laying on startled her from her sleep. She blinked, vision blurry as she struggled to push herself up off the floor. _What the hell? She didn't fall asleep here…_

She distinctly remembered nearly blowing out a lung when she practically laughed herself into exhaustion and the soft glow of Tucker's tattoos lighting the room. Where was she now?

"Finally up, huh? You slept through a jump through slip space. That's no small feat."

Tali froze. She knew that voice…

"Libra?"

"Uh… yeah. You okay there?" The blue haired woman cocked her head at the younger woman in concern, one leg kicked up over the other as she lounged on a metal crate, "Damn, you look like hell. Maybe I should've woken you up…"

With a sudden surge of energy, Tali stood, gazing at her sister warily, "Where am I? How did you even get here?"

Libby shook her head slowly, "I've always been here."

" _Where are the Blues_? Wh–why aren't we in Blood Gulch? Where's Tucker?"

"Hon, I don't–… gosh, that hit on the head did more damage than I thought… look, your safe, why don't you get some more rest—"

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" Tali looked around wildly, trying to seek out April through the link and finding nothing, just an empty, howling void. She couldn't even sense Libby, who was five feet in front of her!

"Who are you?"

"I'm Libra. You're sister."

"No you're not!"

"Taurus—"

"Don't call me that!"

Libby pursed her lips, crossing her arms as she said carefully, "What can I do to prove to you that I'm me?"

Tali glanced around in panic, seeing the walls barren… if they could be considered walls, since _nothing_ was around. Slowly all objects dissolved from her vision, the only thing she could focus on was Libby.

"What… what was our handshake?"

Libby smiled, tilting her head to the side, "We don't have one. You said they were dumb, remember?"

She did remember. She remembered how York looked at them both oddly when he walked in on them mocking simple handshakes after, simply shaking his head and jumping in the middle of them with an over exaggerated judo-kick that ended with him falling flat on his ass. Ah, the good old times. So she really was Libby.

That still didn't explain why Libby was here or where they were.

"Libra... where is… is Aries? Where is Alpha?"

"How should I know?" Libby suddenly scowled, "Aries hightailed it away with York and the others first chance she got, and Alpha is too lost to even be a semblance of the brother he was! Why should I give a damn?"

Tali backed away slowly, the hairs on her neck rising as she clenched her fist, "That's not true! April went because she needed to _survive—_ "

"Are you serious, Tau? Ha–the naïve little one thinks that just a name change is all that does it?" Libby laughed without humor, twisting into a person she didn't recognize with the scorn and anger on her face, and it scared her.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" She objected, baring her teeth and snarling, "This is not you, Libra!"

"No… no it's not, is it?" Libby agreed distractedly, striding off to the left and looking out at nothing, "It sounds like someone I once knew though."

Tali furrowed her brows, "…Who?"

"We had a good thing going on in Freelancer, Tau," Tali could hear the smirk in Libby's voice, "I was the tech, the brainiac… _you_ were the brute," Libby turned in a fluid movement, somehow looking graceful in the clunky armor, " _You_ were the bloodthirsty maniac with the anger that got results. What happened to it? What happened to _you,_ Tau?"

Tali set her jaw, standing straighter, "I changed…I wasn't the best person in Freelancer."

"Changed? It's always a part of you, _Taurus_ ," Libby hissed out her full name, disgust laced within the syllables, "But to… to see you lose yourself with those _pathetic_ sim troopers…"

 _Red. Hot. Fury._

"They _are not_ pathetic! Who are _you_ to judge _them_?"

"I'm your older sister. I'm the original of the Zodiac A.I., just as Alpha is the original of the Greek Letter A.I. I'm smarter than you, and I understand this a lot more than you."

"Yeah right, just because you're a glorified bi-product of the Alpha doesn't mean you know everything," Tali spit back, "The troopers have done more for me than most would even _try_."

"Oh really? Have they helped or have they hindered?" Libby countered, "Not only do you risk your life to save them all, but you do so even when they are _firing at you and trying to kill you_ you try to not hurt them. I hardly call that helping, Tau."

Tali's blood was boiling, eyes flashing as she felt tendrils of doubt curl around her, but she pushed it away with this illusion, this _traitorous_ version of her sister in front of her, "What's even the point of all this? Why?!"

Libby smiled grimly, "I just came to show you that this is all a lie that you're living. You are, and always will be, _Agent Taurus of Project Freelancer_."

And suddenly the nothingness was beginning to crack and fall around them, Tali feeling pricks of pain in her brain and hot ripples of scorching heat over her skin. Daggers stabbed behind her eyes as tears tried to form, but in the end she screeched something that she had come to accept over the years.

" _MY NAME IS TALI!_ "

And just like that, Libby shattered into a million shards of glass in front of her, and suddenly she was bolting up with heaving lungs, hair sticking to her forehead and her hands clenching tightly to the sheets around her. She muffled a sob and pulled her legs close to her chest, looking around the room in fear. _Another fucking nightmare…_

Her nightmares never really… struck a personal level before. But with a twisted version of Libby... it scared her.

The room was washed with a soft glow and her eyes were immediately drawn to the source. He was sleeping still, head slightly turned to her and his arm used as a pillow for his own head. Tali suddenly longed for him to open his eyes just for the banter that they had everyday so she could cast away the dark shadows in her mind.

He didn't however, and she reluctantly untangled herself from the bed sheets and wandered out of the room. She went to the rec room, deciding that it was safer to lounge there in case she was to fall asleep again, and plopped down heavily on the couch, her very bones still shaking at the prospect of all of what Libby was claiming.

Would she really always be Agent Taurus? Looking back, she was a little ashamed of how she was to everyone, always short tempered and rash. Only Tex and Maine really understood her reasoning… and even then, they didn't know of the simulations, and she didn't know of the meaning of said simulations.

She couldn't help but wonder what parts of her personality she lost. Her rationality? Her calmness? Her semblance of peace? Why did the Director mold her into this constant ball of unrestrained rage?

She was colder than usual, her regularly low body temperature damn near freezing, and she hugged a light blue pillow to her chest as the shadows cast ominous figures on the walls around her. The small lights on the ceiling and floor gave her some blue colored light, but she couldn't see much beyond general shapes. Maybe it was foolish of April to not call herself Aries...foolish of herself to not call herself Tau.

She pushed that sense of doubt away violently.

"My name is Tali," She uttered in the dead of the night, huddled up on the couch as she battled away her demons, "Agent Taurus is dead… I'm Tali."

She suddenly longed for the reassuring hum of the technical world, and with almost unconscious effort, her eyes lit up a brighter, swirling shade of green as everything around her was slowly covered by a grid of green, cobalt lining the edges. The periodic thrum of the ripples that were updated scans gave her a sense of familiarity, a sense of security. Electrical sockets and power cables were outlined in the walls and ran pulsating white energy through its wiring, the ground at which she placed her feet on branched out a brighter shade of green, and her form was suddenly covered in translucent octagons that swirled in annoyance when she moved.

And then, in the moment of peace, a swirl of movement came from the side, a flash of blue and black jolting her into alert. Instincts took over, her rolling off the couch and dashing to the kitchen, yanking the magnum from underneath the marble island and pointing it towards the anomaly. The movement suddenly stopped, her breathing stopping along with it, and a timid voice called out.

"Miss Tali?"

In an instant, her aim dropped and her muscles relaxed, eyes lessening in their intense glow as she smiled weakly at the soldier, "Hey sweetie. Everything okay?"

Caboose, still in his pajamas, looked down at his feet with childlike innocence and admitted, "I had a bad dream."

She felt a pang of sympathy for the naïve soldier, and placed the pistol on the table as she walked toward him, "Want me to stay with you? Out here?"

He nodded, and she wordlessly guided him to the couch and let him lay down, throwing a blanket over his form and let him rest his head on a pillow she had placed in her lap. Curling up like a baby swaddled in cloth, he had a peaceful smile on his face, something that Tali was glad she could grant the blue soldier.

"Go to sleep, Michael. I'll be here."

"…How do you deal with the scary things in the dark?" Caboose asked after a moment, the blue eyes blinking up at her a sharp contrast to the hazy green around them.

"You see my eyes?" She pointed to the alien-like glow, "This means I'm seeing the world different. It doesn't chase the darkness away, but I can see what's there. That way I can't be afraid of it."

"Can I see like that?"

Tali pursed her lips, frozen for a moment as she thought it through. The last person that she had shared her vision with was Maine…

"I… I can show you, yes," Tali agreed with hesitance, and tentatively placed her fingertips on Caboose's forehead, focusing on the connection between her and him through her jumps into his mind before. A few moments later, she could feel his presence in her world, sense his joy and giddiness as his eyes darted around and cooed in wonder at the now lighted shadows.

"I like your world, Miss Tali."

"Yeah, me too, sweetie…" Tali sighed wistfully, "Me too. Now get some rest. Nothing can harm you with me here."

Caboose did as told, settling his head into the pillow on her lap and was out like a light in a matter of seconds. It was a little odd to be in this position, comforting another due to night terrors. She remembered all the nights Maine would just hold onto her while she cried herself back to sleep in the rec room…

 _She flew down the hallway, tear tracks running down her face as she searched the nameplates in a panic induced frenzy, barreling into the door that she was seeking out._

 _"M-Maine!" She blubbered, stifling her sobs with one hand while her other clutched onto the dog tags around her neck. In an instant, the giant Freelancer was up and guiding her out of the room, a hand on the small of her back as he closed the door quietly as to not disturb Washington sleeping in the opposite cot._

 _"It was about Libra again. I-I tried so hard, I really did, and then she was–"_

 _"Sh sh, calm," Maine shushed her with as little words as possible, locking the rec room door behind them as he threw a blanket around the shivering Hybrid's shoulders, "Safe here."_

 _Tali let out a shaky breath, letting herself be guided to the couch and was completely malleable as Maine pulled her so she was cocooned in his arms. She grasped at his shirt weakly, shuddering gasps escaping her as she squeezed her eyes shut._

 _"I don't like it, make it stop…" flashes behind her eyelids showed charred corpses and glassy eyes staring at a scorched sky, grass burnt and crumbling to ashes at a mere whistle of wind. Ships plummeting into the atmosphere like soaring comets, flames licking the sides as glass overheats and eventually shatters. Colorful bodies fly thanks to suction, the unrelenting force of air and space capturing them and sending them to death._

 _"It's not real."_

 _"I know… but I don't wanna see it," Tali whined, disgusted with herself as snot dripped from her nose._

 _Maine merely pulled her closer, petting her hair, "Promised I'd protect you. I always will."_

 _A soft smile that took far too much energy from her formed, and she repeated with fondness, "I know. Best friends forever."_

 _"Even after death," Maine assured her._

 _"…Well, as long as you don't start annoying me," She tried to joke, and Maine's dry chuckle calmed her beating heart._

…

…

…

"So this is where you ran off to."

Tali blinked blearily, rubbing at her eyes before looking up, "Oh, hey there."

Tucker chuckled, grinning at her, "Hey there. What caused you to come out here? Couldn't control yourself around this?" He gestured to himself, to which Tali rolled her eyes.

"Caboose had a bad dream," She told a half truth, making sure to not disturb the sleeping blue as she stood up, "I stayed out here with him."

"Of course you did, _Mother Tali_ ," Tucker teased, poking at her ribs.

"Shut it, you," Tali pouted a little as she brushed past him.

She felt a little saddened that her grid world of green and cobalt had to disappear. Of course the world of color and patterns was a sight to behold, but she ached for familiarity at times.

As she sauntered to the kitchen, she flicked her braid over her shoulder, causing the hairs to tickle her back slightly, and she went to work preparing breakfast for Tucker and Caboose, setting the regular paste that she had to consume to the side for now.

"Hey, I never noticed until now but you like, _never_ take off your lipstick. What's up with that?"

Tali froze, fingers brushing against the green skin, and she sighed, "It's because it's not lipstick."

"No?" Tucker raised a brow.

She pursed her lips, turning to him, "No. This was a… a side effect of an experiment my superior conducted on me. Same goes for the green hair."

"Oh… that kinda sucks."

"Eh, what're you gonna do?" She asked rhetorically, "I'm alive, and that's good enough for me."

"But still, that's gotta suck. Your leader just forcing something on you, and by what I've heard, he sounds like a dick," Tucker persisted.

"He isn't the most pleasant man," Tali agreed, flipping a few pancakes as she did, "But he gave me everything. He's the reason I'm alive today, believe it or not."

 _If he didn't do what he did, I wouldn't be talking to you like this, or at all,_ Tali thought.

"How so? Wait a second, is he your dad or something?" Tucker suddenly looked alarmed.

"No, nothing like that," Tali laughed, before really considering Tucker's question. What was the Director to her? He gave her a family, created her, but in return he caused her family suffering, as well as his own agents, all because of his grief over his late girlfriend. He tricked her and forced her into this role that she thought she would hate, but now she thought of as a blessing in disguise. She didn't really classify him as anything…

"He's… he's just a man. Nothing more," She settled on that, giving Tucker a lopsided grin as she turned back to the pancakes.

"But you said he gave you everything."

"He did… but that may have been more for his own personal gain in the end. Honestly, I don't think I owe him anything, but I am grateful to him… despite any pain he caused. And I certainly don't respect him in the way he wishes me to," Tali tried her best to explain without revealing anything, "I don't know how else to explain it."

"Fair enough," Tucker settled for that answer before moving to another topic, "But you never really answered the reasoning behind that tattoo."

Just like before, she unconsciously covered the charging bull tattoo with her free hand, becoming evasive, "Someone's full of questions today."

"Eh, you have a kid and suddenly you have a lot of time to think."

"…So you thought of my tattoo?" Tali questioned after a moment.

"Well, yeah," She heard Tucker stand, "But can you blame me? There's a lot of stuff I don't know about you."

"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about Michael and Church as well," Tali pointed out, chewing on her bottom lip as she placed some fully cooked pancakes onto a plate.

"Yeah, but Caboose doesn't know how to explain shit without confusing the fuck out of me, and Church is just an asshole. No backstory worth digging for there," Tucker retorted.

Tali sighed, thinking up something to try and appease his curiosity, "If you must know, the tattoo is for the A.I. Taurus. _My A.I…_ But I don't have Taurus now, I only am called by the name." _Lies_.

"That's all stuff on the surface though. You're…you're _different_. You know a hell of a lot more than most of us, you're apparently ranked a better fighter than the half-shark girlfriend Church has, and you have all these weird abilities and know a whole bunch of people. You're an enigma."

Tali, completely at a loss for words at how in depth and serious Tucker's thoughts went, and she shrugged as she answered shakily, "I don't really know what to tell you. I'm… well, I'm me. A Freelancer, a sister, a soldier…" _...a hybrid._

"Freelancer has a different definition coming from you."

"Yeah. It does," Tali agreed quietly, not willing to say anymore, "Listen, Tucker. I'm… I'm touched that you're so curious about me, I am. But I tell you all so little because… because I just _can't_ tell you. I'm not allowed to."

" _Why_?"

"Because shit like what happened with Wyoming will happen again," She exclaimed suddenly, "Not only would they kill me for defying orders, but they would kill you because you know too much. Hell, you _already_ know too much because of your damn persistence!" Tali placed the plate of pancakes on the table, then bracing her hands on the table, "I'm a dangerous person working for dangerous people, Tucker, and it's my job to keep you all safe. That's all I can tell you."

Tucker was silent for a moment, and Tali thought that the topic was closed before suddenly she felt him behind her, arms reaching around her and locking her in, hands brushing against hers as he leaned them against the counter top, "Sometimes you need protection too, Tali."

Hesitantly, she turned around to look at him, seeing how serious he was and how _very close_ he was to her, and she swallowed nervously before replying, "Tucker…I'm not–"

She cut herself off as he began to lean in, and she just _panicked,_ turning her head to the side and his lips landed on her cheek instead, and she squeezed her eyes shut as he pulled back slowly, jaw jumping as she battled in her mind. She entertained the idea of letting Tucker kiss her for a moment, but her implant tingled to remind her of exactly how much baggage she was carrying, and how inhuman she is despite how human she acts. She would be doing Tucker a favor really, pushing him away, but her logic was being battered with her heart's intentions and desires.

"If you knew what I was," She began, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, "You wouldn't want me like that."

Tali was too afraid of herself to look him in the eye, to see what he was thinking, feeling, and he answered, "Then explain to me _who you are_ so we can see if your theory holds up."

"Tucker, I can't–"

"What, are you afraid or something? Sorry if I'm too forward, but I've been dropping hints for a long time now," Tucker continued, barreling over her sentence, "Tali, forget about what your past is, you're smart, you're fucking insane, and I _like you_."

"But what you're asking me is something I can't give you!" Tali shouted, pushing him away from her, "Trust me, I'm doing this is for your own benefit."

Tucker, exasperated now, threw his arms up, "Can I get some _explanation?!_ "

"I-I'm sorry," Tali shook her head, and she ran away faster than she ever had before, thoughts whirl winding in her mind haphazardly.

 _What did she just do?_

...

...

...

 _Hey guys. Updates may be a little slower from now on, since some personal matters have popped up, but I won't give up on this story, I promise you all that! And we have some hints to Tali's friendship with Maine! Yay! :D_

 _legitglenn: Oh no! The Tali/Tucker ship is under attack! XD. Thanks for that by the way, it made me laugh_

 _RedSparrow8794: ...nah. Patience haha XD_

 _Iron-ninja: I don't think Church has fully registered that just yet lol. He's in denial_

 _To the guest that said Church has to mellow out: Good luck with that, since it's Church we're talking about here!_

 _To the guest that knows what Grif said: Oooh, do you speak Hawaiian? I personally love the language, it's really interesting!  
_

 _To the guest that wanted them to kiss: In due time! And thank you! :D_

 _Ser Nexi: The Twin T Ship? Ahh I love it! And I can't wait to incorporate Hawaii in more too! Sister had so much potential in the show_

 _DawnofShadows256: :D Thank you!_

 _RogueCaptain: ...I'm not sure if you are actually upset or are you just teasing lol. But I did send you a pm in explanation for those points. Hopefully you are enjoying it despite your disturbances however?_

 _To the guest that wanted Sister in the mix: I'VE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE HER FOR SO LONG!_

 _Oh, and one last thing! I may not be able to respond to private messages for a little while, so I'm sorry if I leave you waiting for an answer to a question for a while. Things are hectic here :(_

 _Without further ado, happy writing and Lonessa out :)_


	19. Conflicted

"Hey, Tali… Tali? Taurus?"

"Don't call me that," Tali snapped on instinct, focusing on the person calling her and cocking out one hip, "Oh, well look who finally decided to show up. How was the get together with Wyoming?"

"Bad. Annoying. Grating. Ran into some people though," Tex approached, assumingly taking in her still pajama clad form, "Mind explaining this?"

"I… it's nothing," Tali shook her head, "Who'd you see? California?"

"Nope," Tex said a little smugly, "York."

" _York_?" Tali repeated, problems cast aside for now, "Is–is he okay, what'd he say?"

"He gave me a holo of himself. Said it was for you," Tex handed her the chip, "Apparently York has been breaking into shops and inhabiting abandoned apartments."

"Hmm," Tali hummed, tapping the chip to activate it, and a small, holographic version of York shimmered into existence, his tan armor casting off a slight tinge of green, due to Delta no doubt.

" _Hey there, Tali. Long time no see, huh Greenie? I'm recording this just in case I can't get to you right away, so here it goes. I hope that you're staying out of trouble. Tex told me about some of your escapades with the sim troopers in Blood Gulch; I wish I was there with you. And thank goodness you found April! I was worried for her. I'm doing okay. A while back I ran into Hampshire again, but after cutting through a space battle between the Sangheili and UNSC, I don't think any of us have to worry about him anymore. But, I heard that you had Blue's chip. I guess I was just hoping that maybe I could...Just be safe, okay? Maybe I'll find you one day._ "

"He was injured in a firefight," Tex explained as York's holographic form dissipated, "It took some convincing, but...he left Delta behind while he escaped in some random sim soldier's armor."

"Damn… I hope he's pulled through then. And poor Delta..."

"Yeah, I know. York looked so torn up when he left," Tex sighed before moving on, "Why are you out here anyway?"

"I didn't feel like staying in the base," Tali lied, looking around, "But I've been keeping an eye out for April. She's missing. Have you seen her?"

"Can't say I have. But my scans did pick up a Pelican a ways away from here. Could she be there?" Tex wondered.

Tali blinked, thinking back, "Yeah, that was California's I believe. He came in on that, but April couldn't really find much onboard beyond a few Banshees."

Well, maybe she's there," Tex sounded concerned, "Well, come on. Let's check it out."

Tex started walking at once, not bothering to check if Tali was following. Tali jogged to be in step with the lethal blonde, fingers clenched around the holo of York tightly.

"…I still haven't been able to find a way to bring her back yet," Tali admitted with some shame, slipping the holo into her pocket.

"Do you have any idea what's blocking it?"

"No idea. I can't think of any A.I. besides Omega that would have a want to purposely screw with me like this, and he's inoperable at the moment."

"I'm sure you'll break through eventually," Tex assured her.

Tali scoffed, "Unlikely. Libra… eh, I mean _Libby_ was the more techy. My… anger blinded me from most of my core processes, and now it's even more difficult to access my A.I. abilities. My only hope now is to find her body before California does."

"Hey, enough moping. Let's just find April."

"I am _not_ moping."

Tex stopped, turning and placing a hand on her hip, "Really?"

" _I'm not!_ "

"…Did Church say something? I'll kick his ass right now–"

"I. Am not. Moping," Tali growled, fists clenched as she glared.

Tex wasn't buying it, staring at her for a long time before asking, "Tucker?"

" _Allison…_ "

"Nah, I get it," Tex was grinning behind her helmet, Tali could tell, "Boyfriend problems, happens all the time."

"I don't know about you, but I'm a little preoccupied with my MIA sister to think of… 'boyfriend problems'," Tali snarled at her partner, not meaning to take out her frustration on her.

She stomped forward, ignoring the concerned look Tex had while watching her, and she mumbled, "If I remember right, it's up on the cliff, meaning we're gonna have to do some climbing."

"Tali…"

"Not to mentio– what? Look, I'm _fine_ , okay? Now let's just go. Need to get away from these idiots for a little while…"

"You should talk to him."

"Nothing to talk about," Tali said tartly, resuming in her walk.

"I still have a vitals monitor for you in my suit from back when we were on M.O.I. Your stress has been off the charts."

"Can't possibly imagine why."

"Sarcasm? Okay, fine. You win. You're completely fine, not borderline psychotic in any way, and you totally won't go into one of your angry phases anytime soon," Tex stated nonchalantly.

"Glad you put so much faith in me, Texas."

"Faith has nothing to do with it. I know you're still new to the whole human body thing, but there's only so much stress you can take before you collapse," Tex explained gently, "Libby had it easy, since she had the entirety of Project Freelancer to fall back on. You? You have these guys."

"I also have you and April to keep me sane, but to be able to _stay_ sane I have to find April first," Tali stressed, "And I'd rather do it sooner rather than later. April is weak in the link, so that means she's a good ways away. We need to hurry."

Tex sighed, just staring at Tali for a moment before placing a hand on her shoulder, "Okay Tali. April first, then everything else later. Just so you know though… you're still my partner. Always will be."

Tali let a smile cross her face, genuine and grateful, "Thanks Tex."

"Anytime."

…

…

…

"Hey man," Church approached Tucker, who was outside the base, "You see Tali anywhere?"

"Why would I have seen her?" Tucker mumbled defensively, crossing his arms.

Church gave Tucker a look, "Do I need to answer that? Please just fuck, you'll make a lot of people happy."

Tucker stared at Church for a long moment, and after a minute, he replied, "Do you have any idea how wrong that sounds when we are in a box canyon filled with dudes?"

"That's not what I meant, idiot," Church growled, "And besides, you have to admit it's getting pretty bad, dude. I mean, _I'm_ even rooting for you, because the sexual tension right now? Can't get through it with a chainsaw."

"Man, you think I haven't tried?" Tucker objected, "I've been as forward as you can be, and nothin."

"I've seen how you flirt, Tucker. I don't think telling her how hot she is in some lewd form and then saying your punch line counts."

"Shut up," Tucker shot back oh so wittingly, and Church took a moment to really look at his… well, Tucker was more than likely his best friend.

"Hey man, if there's one thing about Tali _before_ Blood Gulch, she was, too put it lightly, a crazy fuckin' bitch," Church said not unkindly, but more in a adoring way, "Always angry at the enemy, always fretting over me and our sisters. But never, _never_ as emotional as she has been lately… and, y'know, besides one or two Freelancer friends, she's never really told anyone _anything_ about herself, not even me."

Church let that sink in for a moment, and then continued, "And I've never seen her so protective over someone before. Jumping in front of a rocket, posing as a potential bullet shield, and playing nurse? Not Tali's forté for… someone not _special._ "

"Yeah? What about Tex?"

"Tex is her partner, and Tali would die for her, yes, but Tex… Tex is her closest friend. Has been ever since Freelancer. She acts different with you than she does with Tex."

"I still don't get what you're trying to say, man," Tucker warned.

Church sighed in annoyance, slapping a hand across his visor for a moment, "What I'm tryin' to say is…she isn't good with emotional shit. She… she lets it build up until suddenly everything is pouring out of her, and all the rants she's been on lately? That's not even the main event," Church paced a bit, looking over at Tucker, "So, no matter what you're thinking of doing to try and get her to realize this whole thing between you two, multiply it by like ten. Thousand. Hell, pin her to the ground–"

"Bow Chica Bow Wow."

"–and kiss her for all I care," Church finished his sentence with a mild glare, "Just know that she may try to push back."

Tucker scoffed, "She already has once. But Church, she said something along the lines that if I knew what she was, I wouldn't be going after her. Do you have any idea what that means?"

Church shrugged, "No clue. There's a lot of shit that went down in Freelancer that she never told me about. _Buuuut_ , I wouldn't go pressing her for information about it… she'll tell you when she's ready."

Tucker nodded once, suddenly a lot more confident, "Alright…"

"Ahem, yeah… now reverting to 'Protective Big Brother Mode'…" Church cleared his throat before crossing his arms, staring hard at Tucker, "You break her heart and I'll break your neck."

"Kinda assumed that'd be a given," Tucker commented dryly, "But okay. Message received."

"Yeah… good," Church rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Not that I actually care about this emotional shit or anything…"

"Of course not."

"Uh, yeah. I'm uh, I think I'm gonna find Doc or something. Make sure O'Malley's not cackling to himself or something," Church coughed, slowly slinking away.

Tucker, a little more than amused at the sudden awkwardness from Church, cupped his hands to his face and yelled, "I love you too, brother!"

"Shut the fuck up, Tucker!" Church snarled suddenly, reaching for his sniper rifle threateningly.

Yeah, that's the Church he knew.

…

…

…

"What in Sam Hell are you wearin'?"

Tali, startled at the gruff voice behind her, jumped nearly a foot in the air, eyes flashing a bright, inhuman green for less than a second before reverting back to their regular emerald, and she turned, seeing the entirety of Red team behind her…with a new addition.

Hawaii.

"Nice to see you too, Sarge," Tali quipped, knowing full well that she looked a mess with her black pajama pants tucked into green boots and a spaghetti strap cami lopsided on her person and one side of her stomach showing. She flicked a few strands of hair to the side, the bulk of it held on the back of her head in a messy braid that had half of her hair falling out of it, but she didn't particularly care.

"Did you just roll out of bed or something this morning?" Grif asked from behind the others, lazily holding his rifle in one hand and it dangling at his side.

Tali had to bite her tongue to avoid insulting the orange soldier and potentially scaring the crap out of him, and admitted while fixing her shirt, "Pretty much, yeah. Bad morning."

"Still, we could've easily just killed you while you were oblivious and _alone_ ," Simmons mentioned offhandedly, arms crossed.

Tali raised a brow, "Who said I was alone?"

Grif was suddenly on edge, looking around, "Oh god, is the Freelancer chick around? W-we're friendlies!"

"Relax. I won't let her attack you," Tali found herself reassuring him, something she didn't intend on doing but her mouth decided to say it anyway. She looked to the familiar woman in yellow and purple armor, feigning ignorance, "Who's your friend?"

"That, would be Grif's sister," Simmons said with a little too much amusement, and Tali blinked.

"Chyeah, names Kaikaina, but lotsa people just call me Sister," Hawaii said in a lax voice, something very unlike her, and Tali looked at her in utter confusion before shaking off the oddness and deciding to ask her about it later.

"Well, nice to meet you. I'm Tali," She smiled, hoping to see a small flicker of recognition go across Kai's face… nothing. But then she felt it. Chi.

 _Chi was implanted in Hawaii's brain again_. After she found April, she would have to do something about that, but now wasn't the time.

"Cool. I'm just glad there's another chick in this canyon!"

Grif groaned, looking over at his sister, "Kai, she's the _enemy._ "

"Uh-huh. Doesn't counter the fact that she's a girl, bro… and she's kinda hot!"

 _What?!_

"Ooookay…" Tali said slowly, eyeballing Kai, "How about we get back to searching for April, yeah?"

"I highly doubt that you should be goin' around searchin' with just some flannel on, little Greenie," Sarge chastised, Tali blanching at the nickname. _The same one York called her._

"I can handle myself even without armor, Sergeant," She countered confidently, turning around and yelling, "Hey Tex! The Reds are here!"

She could feel the air thicken when Tex appeared beside her, staring levelly at the Reds for a moment before turning to the yellow soldier, "Hello there."

"Hey, I'm likin' the black armor… you look kinda hot in it!"

 _:Umm…:_

 _:Chi:_

 _:Ah, I see:_

"Right then. Thanks?" Tex responded awkwardly, "Uh, shall we be going?"

"Wait, hold up a second – where's Donut?" Tali suddenly realized they were missing a man, doing a mental headcount.

"Oh, yeah… uhh…" Simmons rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "So you remember that Pelican that landed in the middle of the canyon?"

"…Yes?"

"Well…It kinda landed on him."

It took Tali far too long to process that information, and another couple seconds to realize to implications of that statement, "Is he… is he dead?"

"I dunno. We're kinda assuming," Grif shrugged.

"Oh, goddamnit!" Tali cried, stomping her foot, "I liked him!"

" _Seriously_ , what is all this sudden love for Donut?!" Grif yelled, throwing his arms up.

"Well, not much we can do about it, Greenie. Now if you don't mind… Red team, commence Search and Rescue!" Sarge hollered, charging forward with his shotgun and calling April's name once in a while, enticing her to come out with offers of makeup and other extremely girly things she would not enjoy.

Meanwhile, the Reds just watched their leader as well as Tex and Tali, and only after a moment did someone speak.

"I wonder what his definition of Search and Rescue is in his mind," Tex commented.

"Considering that he has about fifty different operations with elaborate code names specifically to get me killed, I'd say it's not what yours is," Grif sighed, trudging forward before looking at Tali, "Well Tali, since Sarge is out of the picture, you have no worries of a gun pointed at your back. So let's stick together."

Tali was surprised at Grif taking charge, but decided not to question it and went along with it, "Alright then. Lead the way."

The Reds didn't stay for too long since they had to prepare Sarge for something that they wouldn't elaborate on (she really didn't care at this point) but Tali felt like she knew them a bit better. Although she thought at first it was one sided with the slightly friendly vibes coming from them, Grif was rather open in talking to her after a while. Though, that may be only because of April.

"Hey, Grif?" Tali asked once no one else was around, and the orange soldier turned to look at her.

"Uh...Yeah?"

"So I was talking with April the other day before she...went missing, but she mentioned that you told her something in Hawaiian," Tali smirked as he suddenly looked on edge, shifting on his feet slightly, "Now, _she_ doesn't know Hawaiian, but _I_ do."

"You didn't...tell her what I said or anything, right?"

Tali shook her head, "No. I figured she should be the one to ask. But, just one thing," She pat him on the shoulder once, "Take care of her. I...worry about her a lot."

Grif nodded slowly, "I will."

"...That's all I ask."

…

…

…

" _Roses are red, and violets are blue…_

 _One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue…_

 _It's Red versus Red, and Blue versus Blue…_

 _It's I against I and me against you…_ "

She let the harmonic note of her voice slip away into the air with a defeated look, the tune echoing around the metallic walls reminding her of her prison.

April pet Tali's hair with a frown on her face, gently wiping away the blood slowly oozing from her nose. The cool metal sucked what little heat she possessed away, leaving her shivering while she propped Tali to be leaning against her shoulder. April frowned. Tali's capture was completely her fault, and she knew it.

Looking around, the brunette huffed frustratedly as nothing could help her in any way. Just beeping monitors and a few purple planes that she didn't know how to operate.

She sighed, talking to herself, "Tali was right. I am weak."

"…I never said that."

April startled when Tali cracked an eye open, emerald green iris' soothing her slightly, "You didn't have to. You think it."

Tali groaned as she pushed herself up, leaning against the wall as she wiped at the blood on her face, sticky and smearing, "You aren't weak, not under the circumstances. You had nothing to go on but a few tricks that you saw Tex do. Oh, nice song by the way."

April blushes slightly at the praise before addressing the situation at hand, "But look at us! How–how are we gonna get home?"

"April, I promise you that I'll get you home, okay?" Tali said steadily, "But I need you to fill in some of the gaps for me. How'd I get here? Last I remember, I was searching for you."

April looked off to the side, steel grey eyes downcast, "After the Reds left, California made Omicron mask his signature on radar. He snuck up on you and knocked you out."

" _California_? Fucking great," Tali commented before standing, albeit unsteadily, "Okay, so we're in a Pelican?"

"Yeah. Civilian class, so it's roomy," April nodded, standing as well and placing a hand on Tali's arm, "Are you sure you should be walking around?"

"Of course I shouldn't be," Tali chuckled a bit, gazing at the purple planes that April spotted before and smiling, "But I won't be standing for long…"

"You know how to fly one of those then?"

"Hell yeah I do!" Tali exclaimed, limping over and looking over the body, "I'll tell you all about it once we get out of here. Now, how do we get the cargo bay door open?"

"I dunno. He blindfolded me when he brought me here," April shrugged, biting her lip and adding on nervously, "Tali, I… I think California is planning on killing you."

"Of course he is," Tali agreed, blasé as ever, "He just wants Libra. But that's not gonna happen anytime soon. You know where California went?"

"I'm assuming he went out to chase off Tex."

Tali barked a laugh, "Chase off Tex? Good luck with that."

April watched the older woman with some wariness as she walked over to the blinking panels and examined them, "You're awfully calm about being kidnapped."

"Not the first time I've been a POW, April," Tali reminded her grimly, "Just keeping a cool head. I'm probably going to actually process this later, but eh, I'm okay right now."

April blinked, looking around in worry as she tried to see in the dim lighting. She unconsciously moved closer to Tali, this action not going unnoticed by said woman, and Tali placed a hand on April's shoulder.

"Don't worry sis. Nothing's going to happen."

"But he caught me so _easily_. And you're injured!" April exclaimed, eyes flashing orange for a second.

Tali sighed, stumbling over to the console again, eyes going a bright, swirling green as she touched her fingertips to the screen, green electricity running through the veins in her hand, "There's always a way. Maybe not a straightforward way, or clean cut way, but there _is_ a way," Tali looked at April then, "Libra ever tell you that?"

"I… yeah, I think so. Something along those lines."

"Yeah, she always went to that mindset during a mission. While I was Negative Nancy, she was always analytical, always checking every single exit strategy. Me? I just go in guns blazing and hope that I can get back out."

"You're not filling me with confidence, Tali," April crossed her arms.

"Would you stop it? Ugh, how the roles are reversed," Tali mumbled, tapping the screen once again before pushing off the panel, "Should be easy to get out of this. California never was too smart at thinking things through."

"But he has Omicron."

"Yes, but the question is, will he _listen_ to Omicron?" Tali raised a brow at her, one finger pointed upwards, "Also, we don't know what Omicron is personality wise, so we don't know what sort of factors he takes into account. I personally think he's just Alpha's insanity, but eh, I could be wrong," Tali shrugged, pressing a blinking blue button, "Drum roll, please…"

April looked around, seeing nothing change. Another few seconds… nope…

"Um…"

"Hm, well. That's anticlimactic," Tali grumbled, turning back to the console, "The fuck did I do wrong?"

April ran her hands through her hair, whining, "That's it, we're gonna die."

"Oh, shush you! I _got_ this," Tali insisted, "Now I first accessed that…"

"At the rate you're going California is going to be back before we can even figure out how to open the door."

"Alright then, if you're in such a rush," Tali exclaimed suddenly, wobbling as she went to the purple plane, "I'll get this done real quick!"

"Uh, how exactly?" April asked warily as Tali opened the canopy and climbed inside on her stomach.

"The way I know best," She replied as the purplish-blue canopy closed, the plane lighting up and engine beginning to roar.

"And that way is?" April yelled over the engine, hair whipping around thanks to the sudden wind from the plane.

" _Guns blazing, of course_ ," She heard Tali's voice through the speakers of the plane.

April watched as Tali maneuvered the plane's weapons to point towards the cargo bay doors, plasma charging up in the canons. Tali fired, pulses of blue scorching out of the plane and hitting the latches one by one, the plasma eating slowly through the metal. One latch, two, three…

"What the– _how did you manage that_?"

The brunette whirled around, scrambling back in a frenzy at the familiar sight of green and yellow, and screamed, " _Tali!_ "

The plane swerved in the air, turning towards the agent, " _Side entrance? That's fucking bullshit!_ "

A mechanical whir was heard as a large pulse of green plasma launched from the plane, sizzling the air it cut through and leaving a burning smell in its trail as it headed straight for California. The Freelancer jumped back, cursing under his breath as he was thrown from the Pelican by the explosion of pure green in front of the side entrance. Tali fired another strong green burst before turning back to the main doors and knocking the last latch off, " _April, run!_ "

The doors swung down violently and landed with a hard thud, dust from the dry land spewing away from the doors in the shockwave. Listening to her sister's words, April bolted, her footfalls feeling light without armor to hold her down.

She didn't look back as the sounds of cannon fire slowly diminished until it was indistinguishable from the rustles and moans of the buildings around her, her boots crunching against the cracked earth.

"Get back here, _Agent Aries!_ "

April nearly jumped in the air, darting to the side and into one of the rusted and dust filled buildings with little to no light inside. Barely alive control panels lit up the rooms in a flickering blue and automatic doors were held half open by dwindling power. Her footfalls sounded too loud, a steady _clank clank clank_ on the grated floor as her breath came out in controlled pants.

Heavier slams on the floor signaled that California was close, and she ducked into one of the rooms, squeezing through the small gap and looking around wildly in an effort to hide. The best place she could hide was behind a desk, the wooden surface splintering and rotting.

She practically dove to it, grey eyes flashing orange randomly at the feeling of fear, of anxiety. Tali didn't respond through the link, she was too far away, but April could feel the strength and support from her older sister, strong and unwavering.

Tali always was strong with her connections, whether she realized it or not. April couldn't establish a link with a snap of her fingers, nor can Libra, like Tali can. How, she didn't know, but she thought maybe that was the same reason she became so close with the Reds and Blues.

Either way, April hoped that Tali's naturally strong links with people would benefit here. Hopefully Tali could find her before California.

"Come on now, Aries, dear! This doesn't need to be difficult!" _How did he find her so quick!_

 _:Apr… get out o–…–ere… Promethea–… ision!:_ Tali said through the static in her mind.

Oh, she forgot about his armor ability!

April darted away from the desk, California reeling back in surprise of her abrupt move, and she ran back out into the hallway. April looked around wildly as she ran, looking for _something_ to give her an advantage. Tali was close enough to talk with her, so it wouldn't take her long to get to her.

The brunette yelped as she ducked underneath a powerful shot from California's railgun, stumbling to the left and groaning to herself at the dead end she pinned herself into. The hallway merely lead to more half rusted doors in this maze of a building! She needed the exit!

She burst through one at random, taking in the environment. Some overturned chairs, a desk, a stiff light fixture hanging above the desk, a small window that streamed light in that was just out of reach, and… _ooooh_.

April ran over to the side, investigating the familiar looking hammer-like weapon that was left discarded on the floor. She remembered that Carolina seemed to favor this weapon, along with the very same plasma rifle that she usually had clipped to her thigh. The Brutes of the Covenant enjoy whacking around their enemies with these Gravity Hammers too…

Suddenly, a plan began to formulate in April's mind, and she heaved the hammer up and brandished it with both hands, looking up at the window. If she could get up there…

She heard California running towards the room, and instinct took over that she didn't even know she possessed, dashing forward and swinging the hammer like a baseball bat. It was perfectly timed, California running headfirst into the hammer as April swung, a satisfactory _thwum_ emitting from the hammer as California was hit and sent flying out of the room again.

Turning to the desk, she jumped in the air and hit the desk with the hammer, the force sending her into the air. April twisted her body, angling the hammer so it glided perfectly towards the light fixture held tight by a metal pole. The hammer connected, sending the light flying into the wall above the door and shattering into glittering shards of glass as she was sent the opposite way, moving straight to the window. She tucked her legs into herself, turning in midair so her booted feet connected with the fragile glass of the window and her along with her new weapon flew out into Blood Gulch's unrelenting sun.

Her stomach dropped to her feet as the ground rushed to meet her, the hammer flying from her hands as she shielded her face from flying glass with her arms and her side hit the land hard, her body rolling until her momentum was spent. The hammer landed a ways away and the blue electricity fizzled around the hammer's head for a moment before dying out, the hammer itself powering down with a disheartened _thrum_.

"Ow…" April whined as she rubbed her forehead, standing carefully in the midst of a plethora of glass shards. She ignored the hammer, the weight of it just slowing her down now, and began to sprint again towards the box canyon.

April didn't want to look back, but she wanted Tali to join her. She didn't want to risk slowing down, but she wanted to wait for her. _Just keep running, April…_

That plane is fast, isn't it? It had to be. Tali will be back soon. If not though… April would bring Tex, the Reds, and the Blues. They'd get her back.

" _Violets are blue, and roses are red,_ " April mumbled, trying to calm herself, " _Living like this and we're already dead_ …"

She didn't stop until she saw the edge of the cliff.

…

…

…

Never in all of history had one person said that Blood Gulch was a sight for sore eyes. Not until today.

April was giddy as she carefully slid down the cliff face, tripping on a rock once or twice on the way. She was tired, she was overheated, she was sweating, but she was _home_ dammit!

Getting to the canyon floor was a bit of a challenge though. How California had managed to drag her up from Red Base, she would never know, but suffice to say, she's had enough near death experiences with gravity to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

Oddly enough, she couldn't see anyone at Red Base from her viewpoint, and decided to see what the Blue's were doing all congregated in front of their base. If anything, maybe Tex was among them, and they could all head out to chase California out of the canyon.

Landing with a small huff, April flicked her curly ponytail behind her shoulder and wiped sweat off her brow, smiling slightly at the familiar surroundings. She felt a little nervous, always checking her back just in case California tried to pounce again, but she was on high alert. She made sure to keep track of how strong Omicron's signature was as she got farther and farther away so that specifically wouldn't happen again. Currently, Omicron was close… _ish,_ but not something to be alarmed of at the moment. She could sense Tali in the very backgrounds of her mind, but she must be a good ways away… or so she thought.

She never was that good at judging links.

April shook her head, starting towards Blue Base as she spied Tex appearing from the side and gripping her BR tightly. What was she up to?

And then she opened fire on the Blues. Okay then.

"OH, _JESUS RUN!_ " Church screamed as they retreated to the ramp, Agent Hawaii accompanying them for some reason.

April stayed back and watched the scene warily, Tex eventually stopping in her shooting and getting into a shouting match with Church (big surprise), and no one seemed to notice her slowly advancing until she called out.

"Uhm… Guys?"

Tex whipped around on a dime, assault rifle primed and ready as the barrel leveled at April's head. She flinched, eyes squeezing shut as she jumped back and hunched her shoulders unconsciously, making herself even smaller than she was.

"What the fuck, Tex? That's April, stop it!" She heard Tucker object, a flurry of footsteps accompanying his voice.

"April, where is O'Malley?!"

"Wha– I don't know! I've been a little _preoccupied_ at the time Tex!" April replied, peeking an eye open to see Tex slowly lower her weapon and Tucker leaning forward like he wanted to intervene. Church simply glared at Tex.

"None of us know where O'Malley is Tex, so if you can stop— _getthatthingouttamyface_!"

Tex didn't listen, merely shooting Church and watching his body fall to the ground, his ghostly form still standing straight up and looking fed up with the situation. April scowled.

"Tex can you stop it?" She growled, surprising the Freelancer, "Bullying them won't help the matter and Tali would probably kick your ass if she saw you doing this!… _OH MY GOD, TALI!_ " She suddenly remembered, surging forward and grabbing Tex's arms, shaking her, "She told me to run and I don't know where she is and we have to find her!"

"From California?"

" _Yes_!" April nodded frantically, "She flew off in a purple plane but I don't know where she went!"

"…You mean a Banshee?"

Tucker threw his arms up, shaking his head in disbelief at Tex, "Seriously, how the fuck do all of you guys know alien shit?!"

"Yeah yeah, I think so," April ignored Tucker's protest, "I lost California but I can't tell where exactly Tali is… wait a second," April furrowed her brows, "Is he… no way…"

"What is it?" Tucker asked.

"That's not possible! I can't sense Omicron, how the hell is he here!?" April continued, damn near pulling out her hair at this point, "No no no…"

Tucker followed April's gaze up to where a certain agent was standing and instinctively stepped closer to the cowering brunette, pushing her behind him. April let him, peering around him as she clutched onto his arm.

"This guy is a fucking dickhead," Tucker snarled, looking over at Church to see the 'ghost' nod in agreement, "You gonna re-possess your body sometime soon, man?"

"Oh. Right."

Church took control of his robotic body again and stood as they all watched in confusion as California was shooting at something behind him, yelling unintelligibly as he did. Tex was about to comment on it when April suddenly exclaimed, "She's here!"

A purple plane came screaming past the green and yellow Freelancer, making a sharp u-turn and the thrusters priming. The canopy flung open just as the plane began to lurch forward, Tali flipping out of it with what looked to be a gravity pad in her hands, all the while flipping California off and yelling, " _Told ya I wouldn't lose, cockbite_!"

"Yup, that's definitely her," Tex and Church both said in unison, Caboose stomping his foot.

"No fair! I want to fly too!"

The plane cut through the air straight towards California, the Freelancer not even having time to bring up his arms as the plane barreled into him and exploded into a bright cloud of purple and blue. Pieces of the Banshee rained down, splintering into fragments as they hit the hard ground around them.

Tali howled with joy, April spying the huge grin on her face as she slowly fell to the ground, the gravity pad she was holding slowing her descent to a snail pace. She called down, "You okay April?"

"Never better!" April replied, grinning widely herself, "With California gone I don't have to look over my shoulder every five minutes!"

"Ha! The fucker cheated with his damn Promethean Visi– oh, _shit_!"

The gravity pad whirred down audibly, the white light it emitted dulling to a boring grey as Tali began to fall faster.

"That's not good!" Tex stated.

"Woah! She's a little extreme when trying to find a rush," Hawaii mentioned before yelling up, "You can get that feeling by sniffing paint, grey girl!"

"Yeah!" Church exclaimed, not processing what she said until a second later, "Wait, _what_?"

"What happened to you guys while I was gone?" April wondered to herself.

" _Still falling here assholes!_ "

And Tali was indeed falling. April watched helplessly as Tali fell towards them, green braid flailing wildly in the wind as she did so, getting closer and closer…

…And fell right into Tucker's arms. _Okay then_.

Everyone was dead silent, just staring as the green haired girl blinked confusedly at her sudden halt in descent, only to freeze when she took notice of the armor color of her savior. She chuckled awkwardly, grinning a little as she offered a meek, "Thanks."

Tucker, with what was more than likely a huge grin behind his helmet, replied, "Damn, when I said you fell into my arms, I didn't mean literally!"

"…You never said that."

April shot an unimpressed look at Tali, who ignored her, and the brunette sighed, "Can you two just kiss already?"

Tali suddenly made a surprised coughing noise as she seemingly began choking on her own spit, wriggling out of Tucker's grasp and stumbling a respectable distance away, while Tucker looked mildly saddened at her reaction. April smiled at him as encouragement.

She wore a quizzical look when all he did was shrug and look away, but she tore her attention away from him as Tali asked, "So what'd I miss?"

"Besides you going all Kamikaze Hybrid on California and Tex going gun-ho on the Blues?" April crossed her arms, "Not much."

"Uh, I'm sorry. Kamikaze _Hybrid_?" Tucker stressed, looking in between Tali and April with confusion.

April just realized her mistake as she noticed Tex and Tali both staring at her, bug eyed, and rushed to explain, "U-Uh, just a figure of speech, no worries!"

"I'm pretty sure there is no figure of speech with the word 'hybrid' in it, sis," Church caught on to the oddity of the statement.

"Uh, yes. Many hyphens with the figurines…" Caboose said slowly, pretending he understood.

" _Caboose!_ "

"April, I told you to stop calling me a damn Hybrid!" Tali chuckled lightly, but April could sense on the inside that she was panicking, "It's weird!"

"Why the hell does she call you a hybrid?" Tucker asked in disbelief, "That doesn't make any fucking sense!"

"Does anything we do ever make any sense? You know, glowing tattoos, alien prophecies, and an alien baby… birthed by a man?" Tali asked rhetorically, raising a brow.

"…I see your point."

"Glowing tattoos?" April asked before shaking her head, "Hold up a second, how couldn't I… uh… Omicron didn't pick up on my radar, where is he?"

"A while ago I promised him I'd drop an EMP on his ass because he pissed me off so bad," Tali mused, a slow smirk spreading across her face, "I keep my promises."

"You mean an emp?" Church asked after a moment.

" _No_ , I mean an EMP," Tali rolled her eyes, "Electromagnetic pulse."

"And wasn't Omicron an A.I.?" Tucker began, crossing his arms, "It's not a he, it's an it."

" _A…I_ …"

"Not now, Caboose," Tex said through gritted teeth, knowing the reaction that Tali and April would have to Tucker's words.

April glanced at Tali warily, seeing her eyes glaze over and a hollow look go across her face. April spoke up, "Tucker, Omicron had a personality, and he was a being. So what if he wasn't breathing? He's still 'living'."

"But Omicron didn't have a heart, didn't have a body."

"What does that make Church then?" April challenged.

"He _was_ a human. Now he's a ghost," Tucker answered frankly, "Omicron never was. Anything Omicron felt was just… programmed."

Silence went over the group, the men not sensing the tension in the air. April risked a glance at Tali, seeing her jaw strained and her fists clenched.

"It… it's not _just_ programming!" Tali denied, looking frantic, "Like it or not, A.I. develop, they _grow_ , and the more they are around humans, the more they _become_ them!"

Tucker, looking wary, replied slowly, "Despite them developing, they can't be fully human. Not really."

"Then how does that explain—"

 _:Tali Taurus, STOP!:_ April screamed through the link, knowing just where that sentence would end up. Tali abruptly stopped, her mouth snapping shut and her teeth clicking at the pressure at which they collided.

 _:How does that explain me?:_ Tali finished through the link, suddenly sounding terrified at the prospect of Tucker's reasoning.

 _:Tali, you_ _ **are**_ _human:_ Tex said with sincerity and forcefulness through the link.

"How does that explain…?" Tucker trailed off in confusion, waiting for Tali to finish.

"Explain… explain the… uh…nothing! Forget I ever said anything."

"Wait, what were you-"

April sighed yet again, "Just shut up, Tucker."

"Wha– what did I say?!" Tucker exclaimed in indignation, noticing too late that Tali was retreating to the base, "Wait, Tali I gotta talk—"

"I'm tired. I'm going to get some rest," Tali interrupted, holding her head as she refused to look back.

Tucker let his arm fall, looking perplexed at Tali's sudden change of mood, and looked at April in confusion.

April merely shook her head, eyes looking a much duller grey as she asked, "So what was this about glowing tattoos?"

...

...

...

 _Hi there. Sorry these updates are coming late now. It's hard to find time to write these days._

 _djmegamouth: Your review made me laugh! I heard of the concept with Tucker gaining alien tattoos for some reason or another and couldn't resist putting it in!_

 _RogueCaptain: As long as you're happy with it, I'm happy! The character interactions are more important than how they look anyway. :)_

 _Gage: I'm sorryyyy lol! They'll get there._

 _SailbotVapor: Thanks you two, I appreciate it! Sadly I don't have an Agent Arizona or Alaska planned, but who knows, maybe I'll throw one in as a side character once we get to the Project Freelancer arch._

 _Axormin: Just wanted to say thanks again! :D_

 _Grimlord31: Hopefully I didn't keep you waiting too long!_

 _TheOtherSanics: Haha, multitasking, I like it! XD. Thanks for the feedback!_

 _Iron-ninja: Don't worry! I swear I'm not going to destroy it! The ship won't sink that easy, Tucker and Tali are too stubborn for that!_

 _So, not too sure when the next update is coming...but I'll try my best to get it done as soon as possible! I'm sorry if I'm disappointing anyone with these long pauses in updates..._

 _Happy writing and Lonessa out :)_


	20. The Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Tucker winced as April prodded at the tattoos on his arm yet again with some odd metal baton that pulsed electricity at random intervals. April ignored his discomfort.

It's not like she had anything against him. She understood why he saw A.I. that way, since most people in the universe did indeed think that way. But ignorance can lead to hurt, and Tali sure was hurt by what he said.

By no way did Tucker believe Tali's behavior to be fake, that April knew. He just didn't know how A.I. from Freelancer truly work, despite having experience with them. He didn't know, and she couldn't keep anything against him.

She'd just have to convince Tali of the same thing.

The last she saw Tali was dozing on the couch curled in a ball, which was disconcerting since she had a room of her own. Said room contained the man that hurt her and made her feel special all in one, so that was why… Gosh, this was worse than her slip up with Grif. At least she didn't broadcast the word _hybrid_ around him like it was the regular, but _oh no_ , around the Blues she became even more of a loose-mouthed idiot!

This… this was _her_ fault. And Tucker was being ignored for it. Was being pushed away for it.

"So what's the verdict?" Tucker asked through a strained voice as the metal baton prodded his flesh yet again, unpleasant tingles going up his arm more than likely. April huffed in thought.

"This is just what you thought; a side effect of the pregnancy," She placed the baton on the table, to his immense relief, "As far as I can tell, it doesn't hinder you in any way. It's just a slight rewrite of DNA due to the alien presence. However, if you feel a rather intense emotion, your eyes may change to a different color."

"That's one thing off my mind then," Tucker mumbled in a very un-Tucker like way, causing April to frown. _Her fault._

"Hey…" She stopped him from standing by placing a hand on his bicep, "You had no way of knowing about Tali's… _feelings_ toward the subject of A.I.'s. Nor did you know mine."

Tucker scoffed, "You two know more A.I.'s than the number of people in this damn canyon. I should've figured that shit out before opening my dumbass mouth. Now not only does Tali think I'm a prick, but Tex is probably going to kill me with her collection of knives or some shit."

April nearly winced at that comment, not too sure if Tex would actually do that or not, and said, "Tali doesn't think that, you should know better."

"Then where is she?"

"Passed out on the couch," April replied flatly, flicking her hair to one side, "She _was_ fighting a Freelancer after all."

Tucker merely pursed his lips, looking rather dejected and not himself at all, something that April found both heartbreaking yet endearing. He was like this because of her _sister._ He cared!

"You know what I think?" April began, "I think that you should bring her to bed, let her sleep a little bit, and be there when she wakes up to pamper her like a princess. She deserves it."

Tucker furrowed his brows, "Why me?"

April let a sly smile grace her lips as she gathered her equipment, "Well, she may not _say_ it, but I think she'd be _much happier_ if you were the one cuddling her instead of me."

He looked skeptical for a moment before smirking a little sheepishly, impulsively wrapping an arm around the brunette and holding her close for a second, "Thanks April."

"Anytime," April hugged him back before shooing him away, "Now go and get your girl!"

Tucker's eyes went wide and he shushed her, which made April laugh at the normally cocky and confident soldier. Oh, how Tali has changed him.

"One question though," Tucker stopped at the doorway, "Church said that Tex was her best friend. How'd she even befriend her in the first place?"

She shrugged, looking off to the side as she tapped the side of her head, "All up in here. Being partners since the beginning does have its effects… and Tex is far more than just her friend. I'd say she's closer to an extension of herself. Y'know, there's no Tali without Tex and all that."

"But being from different projects and constantly fighting for the better ranking… that's gotta be a pretty big hurdle to jump over."

April smiled strangely, tapping her fingers on the table she was leaning on, "I guess you could say she's had more experiences with Tex than she lets on."

Tucker chuckled then, amused, "You Church's are weird ones… but the good kinda weird."

"Yeah… we get that a lot," April smiled sheepishly, "Thanks Tucker."

He left then, presumably to get Tali, and April grinned a little to herself. She hoped that she helped Tali out by encouraging Tucker, despite the green haired woman's adamant denial of her emotions. Ignoring them would do no good, and if Tali needed her little sister to play Cupid, then so be it!

Packing up the rest of her possessions, April went to head back to Red base and… well, try to quell Grif's suspicions toward her. She may have forgotten that fact until now…

Nevertheless, she had to return to base to at least get her armor, so she set off, only to be stopped just outside by her robotic brother.

"Leaving already?" He asked, and April could detect some sadness in his tone.

"Yeah, but no worries. I'll visit you," She grinned as she sidled up to him, blinking rapidly as she did.

Church laughed, grabbing her and pulling her into a hug, "No getting kidnapped by crazed Freelancers on your way back, okay? Actually, lemme walk you."

"You don't need to–"

"I know, but I want to," Church said openly, which was rather out of character for him, and they began to walk to the other side of the canyon, "So how's Tali doing?"

"She's okay. Tired and a little pissed, but okay," April shrugged, looking off to the side as she mentioned the little bend of truth, "She's very… _passionate_ when it comes to the topic of Artificial Intelligence."

"Considering she's had one in her head, I understand that," Church brushed off Tali's actions, focusing more on another aspect of it, "I'm more concerned about California being so adamant in catching her. I mean, I don't even remember that guy!"

 _Uh oh_ … _I'm dealing with an amnesiac Alpha, aren't I?_ April thought as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. She chewed her lip, saying carefully, "Well you don't exactly have the best memory, Church…"

"I think I would remember _that_ , April," Church shot an unimpressed look at her, kicking an unfortunate rock he walked by.

"Oh yeah?" _Time to play dirty_ , she thought grimly, "When is my birthday then?"

April knew he wouldn't know this question. He simply wasn't _around_ when she was created, she was merely a last minute imprint in his information processing by FILLIS. Yes he knew of her, but all his interactions with her before Blood Gulch were simulated, not reality.

She tried not to think about it too much, about how she never really was able to build that relationship with her brother like Tali and Libra did. It just simply _was_.

"Uh… motherfu– what's wrong with me?!" Church slapped himself upside the head, growling in pain afterwards. April forced a light chuckle.

"No worries, big brother. Our sisters and I are used to this," She joked, skipping a little as they walked along.

"No no no, I remember Libra's. We share the same birthday since we're twins… Tali's is in the following month… Scorpio's is two months later…"

April resisted a small frown. Scorpio. The sister she never met. Tali and Libra told her little about her beyond the purple figure she adopted and the timid personality she had before CT decided to go AWOL with Scorpio in her port. What was her shortened name? Oh, right. _Scout._

She would never admit it, but April really wanted to see how similar the Director made her and Scorpio. The prospect of her being just a _replacement_ for a lost property sickened her, and in a way, she was glad that Scorpio was taken if it meant she would be created.

She hated that greedy part of herself.

"Don't worry about it Church, really," April said, shrugging, "You weren't exactly around at the time."

"I still should know."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Onto other topics…" April pondered for a moment, gasping suddenly at a thought, "Oh. _Oh!_ Don'tcha think Tali and Tucker would look _sooooo_ cute together?!"

Church palmed his visor, "Aagh, can I not step away from that for a while!" He whined, "It's fuckin' _weird_."

"It's _cute,_ " April persisted, "They're just so emotionally constipated it's frustrating!"

"You're not around them all the time, April. It's torture," Church said gravely, then poorly imitated their voices, "'Oh Tali, you're so sexy but I'm too scared to make a move! Insert bad joke, HAR har, Bow fucking whatever'! 'Tucker, I will break your fingers one by one if you keep making pervy jokes, but don't stop because I secretly like it!' GAH!"

"…Okay then," April blinked.

"That wasn't even a dramatization. That's basically all their interactions," Church stated frankly, flailing his arms after a moment and adding, "And I'm so fuckin conflicted because she's my sister, and…GRAH!"

"Calm down with the noises, bro."

Church whirled around on her suddenly, pointing his finger in her face, "You better not be causing this kind of drama at Red base, April! I mean it!"

"I… uh… no?" April replied with some caution. _Yeah, having a weird 'I know you but I don't know you' tension between Grif totally doesn't count._

"That didn't sound very convincing," Church grumbled.

"Well Church, this is just what happens when you're the man of the family. You get to deal with all the lovely gooey girl stuff," April shrugged, giggling a little.

"Yeah, great."

"Oh, quit your whining! And get back to base, I have to check in with the guys at Red base!" April shooed him away, breaking into a jog towards Red base, "I'll contact you guys later!"

…

…

…

 _:Can't you just let this go?:_

 _:Uh, no? Who the fuck does he think he is, judging us without even understanding us? And he didn't even feel bad!:_

 _:Tali–:_

 _:I don't even–:_

 _:Tali, just stop, okay? You're working yourself up over this for nothing, because believe it or not, yes, Tucker_ _ **doesn't**_ _know the truth behind A.I., he only knows what he's been told, and what he was told is exactly what he said.:_

 _:But to… to be reduced to an unfeeling_ _ **thing**_ _? And after what he said…:_

 _:Wait wait, 'what he said'? The hell did he say before?!:_

 _:I-I mean… that's not the point, Tex–:_

 _ **:Tali Taurus tell me.**_ _:_

 _:Grr… FINE! Can you come to the rec room, I passed out on the couch.:_

 _:…Uhm… I'm in the rec room:_

 _:Wait, we've been having this conversation all the while you've been staring at my sleeping body? What the hell, Tex!?:_

 _:No, you're not in here.:_

 _:I'm not? Where the hell am… I… oh FUCK THIS– OH GOD:_

And that's when she realized it. So consumed in her rant with Tex, she didn't realize what exactly was going on around her, didn't realize, thanks to her selective attention, that someone had up and moved her _and was still next to her_.

 _Don't open your eyes it's not real—_

She opened them.

 _Well shit_.

 _:Tali, what the hell is going on? Where are you? Oh fuck did California pull a Hannibal Lecter? I'm gonna rip off his balls and feed them to him–:_

 _:Tex–:_

 _:Damn it I should've known your little plane trick wouldn't have worked! I should've gone after him, stupid_ _ **stupid**_ – _:_

 _:ALLISON, CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP:_

Need to deal with the problem right in front of her right now… not the problem shaped in an overprotective blonde who was amused with ball smashing and castration. Oh man, all her friends are insane.

 _:WELL DAMN CAN I GET A YAY OR NAY ON YOUR SAFETY?:_

 _:I AM FINE:_

 _:THAT'S NOT A–:_

 _:ALRIGHT,_ _ **YAY**_ _, HAPPY NOW?:_

: _Yes.:_

 _:Okay, then shut up and let me deal with something:_

Tali waited for a good five seconds, making sure that Tex was really, _officially_ done with fussing over her, and nearly sighed in relief. Nearly, since there was a rather prominent problem that currently has her… well, trapped.

Very cautiously, she tried to pry the arms around her away, but found them locked in an iron-grip, keeping her within the personal bubble of one Lavernius Tucker half on top of her. _Wonderful_.

 _:Such sarcasm you have. Do you always narrate this much in your head?:_

And she left the link open. Again, wonderful.

 _:Tex, just shut up.:_

It was bad enough that she was in bed with the exact same man that she purposely tried to avoid, but on top of Tex giving her little side comments, Tali was slowly becoming more aware of just how comfortable his embrace was and how his body heat warmed her naturally cool skin. _Not good_.

 _:Tali, for all that is good and holy, and I am being blunt here, stop being such a pussy:_

 _:What the–_ _ **TEX**_ _:_

 _:No no, don't you 'Tex' me! You know what this is? This is_ _ **exactly**_ _what happened with me and Wash, and guess what? Tables turned, bitch!:_

Tali went to angrily retort, only to stop and really think, blinking before gasping, _:Oh my god, you're right. I'm you!:_

 _:And she sees the light!:_

 _:Not. Funny:_

 _:It's pretty funny. You easily get flustered:_

Tali sighed out loud this time, and felt a disturbance from the man beside her in response.

 _:HE'S WAKING UP!:_

 _:Good:_

 _:What do I do?!:_

 _:Dunno. Just do it:_

 _:You are absolutely no help:_

 _:Karma's a bitch, ain't it Tali?:_

A foreboding feeling washed over her as she watched helplessly as his eyelids fluttered, struggling to open with the tantalizing tendrils of sleep latched to him. She knew she should say something, do something, but she couldn't think, and just laid there with her head on his chest, chin tilted so she could see his face with wide, unblinking eyes. The hand on his chest unintentionally curled its fingers, bunching the teal fabric up.

His eyes shot open at that, golden iris' zoning in on her green eyes and his body going rigid. He shot a lopsided grin that was too awkward to trick her that he was completely at ease, and her mind just went blank.

"Hi."

She could hear Tex facepalming.

"Hi," Tucker replied with some uncertainty, the word more drawn out and less like a high pitched yelp hers was.

 _Yeah, that… that's all she's got._

 _:Oh for the love of god…:_ Tex mumbled over the link, _:Just kiss him you socially awkward nugget!:_

 _:…Did you just call me a nugget?:_

 _:TALI. TAURUS:_

With Tucker's unsure look, Tali was pretty sure the annoyance she felt for Tex right now was showing on her face, and he began to scramble for his words, "I just… y'know, I wanted to talk to you before and you seemed pretty upset and–"

 _Going for it_ , Tali stated in her mind, throwing all her reasons _not_ to do this out the door and changing the entire damn lock system because by the sun, moon and stars what was she doing pushing away this man, _what was she thinking_ –

And she kissed him.

It was awkward on the account that she had absolutely no clue what she was doing, but she didn't particularly care. He was kissing her back now, his lips were soft and warm, and the sudden closeness she felt sparked something warm throughout her body and it felt so good since she never realized that she always felt so _cold_.

Pulling back, she opened her eyes to look at him, willing to cast away her anger as she said simply, "Don't worry about it."

It took a moment, but his face split into a grin, "So, you… uh…"

"Yeah," _Eugh that was really breathless sounding…_

"Huh. Same," Tucker replied with the same tone, and her self-berating dried up.

 _:Well this sure is a productive conversation:_

 _:Don't ruin my moment, Tex. Get out:_

Tex's insertion hardly phased her. The way Tucker was looking at her right now was new, and the way his fingers gently brushed a few green hairs that dropped in front of her face behind her ear felt so tender and intimate and she felt tingles all over her face.

"You're blushing."

Tali looked to the side, "Sh-Shut up."

She saw him smirk from the corner of her eye, "You look cute."

"I'm not _cute._ "

"Alright, sexy," Tucker corrected smoothly.

"Alright, I'm leaving," Tali jolted to her feet, somehow escaping Tucker's death grip, and righted her clothes as she walked to the door.

"Aw, c'mon baby, you can't shun me for speaking truths–"

" _Tucker_ ," Tali stressed, not quite managing to eliminate the amused tone from her voice and not quite able to ignore the voice in the back of her mind saying she really did like it when he showered her with those comments.

She reached for the control panel on the door, hearing Tucker stand and stomp determinedly towards her, and she didn't even have a chance to press the green button when a hand hooked onto her arm and whirled her around.

She tilted her head to the side and raised a brow at Tucker's sheepish look, "Yes?"

Tucker rolled his eyes, and she thought for a second she saw a flash of blue in them, but it was gone as soon as it came. He cupped her cheek, smoothing over the skin and cracking a grin, leaning in closer as Tali slowly got more and more red in the face.

"You're as red as a tomato," He chuckled lowly.

Tali scowled a little, "Shut up, Lavernius."

 _Aaaaaand cue the door opening_ , "Hey Tucker, I– oh for _fucks_ sake!"

They both looked sharply to the intruder, somehow drifting closer rather than breaking apart, and both yelled, " _Church!_ "

The man himself was flailing his arms crazily, gesturing to the two of them, "What the hell is _this_?!"

"Well, when two people like each other–"

"Shut it, sis!" Church jabbed a finger in Tali's face, "Don't do this shit around me!"

"You're the one that barged in here," She retorted flatly.

Church growled, something that Tali rolled her eyes at, and simply turned back to Tucker, "So you were saying?"

He grinned yet again, winking playfully at Church before breaching the gap and kissing her, Church's noises of disgust ignored.

"Really? Hey, Tali, didn't you make the comment that he was probably a minefield for STD's a while ago?"

Tali merely blindly gave him the middle finger while her other hand snaked up into Tucker's hair, determined to make her brother as uncomfortable as possible so he would leave, and also tried not to melt into a puddle of goo when Tucker slipped his tongue into her mouth because _holy shit he was a good kisser_ –

"Alright, I'm leavin'."

"Good riddance," Tucker mumbled to the best of his ability.

…

…

…

"So, Sister…"

"Hm? Oh hey, grey girl! What's up?" Sister greeted animatedly, waving.

Tali and Tex shared a look, and Tex began slowly, "Does anyone here seem… _familiar_ to you at all?"

Sister thought for a moment, rocking back on her heel before replying, "Nah, everyone here kinda looks the same. My memory hasn't been the best these days either, so…"

Tali frowned, brows furrowing as she crossed her arms. Sparing a glance back at Church, Caboose and Doc, she leaned towards the yellow Freelancer and said lowly, "Chi?"

"Is that like a yoga move or something?" Sister asked cheerily, "I don't know much, but I can show you my ping pong trick!"

 _:Yeah, Chi's definitely in there:_ Tali relayed to Tex with some disdain, sighing, _:When one is dealt with another has to turn up:_

 _:At least Chi isn't as powerful or as much of a dick as Omega is:_

 _:Good point:_

"What's your thoughts on everyone here so far?" Tex asked politely.

"Meh. Church is boring, Caboose is dumb, haven't talked to Doc, and Tucker's kinda hot."

 _:Ohhhh some competition for you there Tali:_

 _:Bitch, please:_

"Tucker's also taken," Tali retorted bluntly, "But you didn't know that, so I'll let it slide."

Tex chuckled softly at her slightly aggressive tone, but she ignored it. She had to admit that she was still floating on cloud nine after what happened with Tucker, but she dreaded what would happen should her A.I. side be revealed. Now though, she was more focused on how to get the A.I. out of there without hurting her like Church and his horrible aim did to Caboose.

 _:Couldn't you just, y'know, jump in?:_

 _:Dunno… I mean, Chi has less power, and is only a fragment:_

 _:He's gotta be weak with the amount of processing he has to focus on keeping Hawaii in check:_

 _:…He's controlling her?:_

 _:Yeah, I noticed it during the Project but I didn't have time to help because of the break out:_

 _:Damn… alright, I'll try it. Just be ready to pull Chi on my say:_

"What do you think of us then, Sister?" Tali questioned while preparing to jump.

"You two seem pretty cool… kinda scary. But that's cool, it's kinda hot!"

"You've said that before," Tex pointed out.

"Oh, right," Sister nodded her head, shifting on her feet, "So, is there a real reason you pulled me aside? _Oh_ , are we planning a party here! I am _great_ at planning a little fiesta!" She leaned in conspiratorially, " _I know a guy!_ "

"Uhm…" Tex leaned backward, "Gotta wonder what's going on in your head."

"Oh-ho believe me, you'd like to," Sister said cheekily.

"Alright, you convinced me," Tali grinned as she pulled off her helmet, knowing that Chi would recognize her once her eyes began to glow. Sister stiffened as Tali turned to the girl in black, "Tex?"

"Yes, Tali?"

"Catch."

As Tali collapsed, Chi tried to scream as his host's mind was penetrated.

…

…

…

Red base was a ghost town.

April took the time of fixing herself a meal, taking a shower, equipping her armor, and cleaning her weapons with no trace of the guys, and it was starting to spook her a bit to be honest.

"Anyone here? Sarge? Grif? Simmons?" April called for the fifteenth time, to no response.

With a huff, she flipped out a locator to see if they were showing up on radar, and frowned when four pulsating, healthy blips were shown within the canyon. To be more specific, _underneath_ the canyon floor.

"That doesn't make any sense…" April mumbled, face screwing up oddly as a memory tried to fight to the surface.

 _What did Tali say before… oh… OH GOD._

"They could find the communications center!" April exclaimed to herself, running outside of the base to spy something peculiar.

A gaping hole dug in the ground with a discarded shovel to the side was off to the side of the base, a crude stone placed beside it with letters scratched on with black marker. As April got closer, she vehemently denied what it very much looked like, and that was, unfortunately, a headstone.

While hyperventilating and wondering _who the hell died while she was gone_ because the Reds sure as hell didn't attack the Blues while she was gone, and silently cursing herself for leaving her glasses inside, because she could not read simple lettering up close for shit, yet for some reason if she was asked to peg a target as small as a dime, she'd be able to do it in five seconds flat. _Screw you, eyeballs!_

Stepping to the edge of the grave, her eyes widened at the absence of a brown dirt floor, or, y'know, a _corpse_ , and instead took in the gaping maw of a huge cave. _Yep, they definitely went down there._

Huffing a sigh, she checked that her plasma rifle was clipped to side and the plasma pistol to her hip, and did one of the stupidest things ever, of all time. _Ha, she just channeled her inner Wash._

She jumped.

And as she fell, she took in the jagged rocks and the darkened glow and the actual length of the drop, wondering to herself if the air of this place was what made everyone idiotic.

"This is gonna suck," She said to herself in resignation, tucking into a ball as she activated the armor lock, becoming a ball of light as her body slammed into various objects and the white, translucent swirl around her intensified. It was synonymous with the pain she felt, since on the inside, she was screaming.

Eventually she hit the floor of the cave with a thud, water spewing into the air since she landed in a puddle, and deactivated her armor ability with a groan, arms weaving to cradle her stomach for a moment.

"Why would they make an armor ability that felt like a million needles were stabbed into you by a Serial Killer?" She whined, forcing her grey eyes open and stumbling unsteadily to her feet.

Another look at the radar showed them all together, walking the exact opposite direction of her, and the exact direction of the video feed, which definitely had warning bells and red alerts going around in her mind.

April attempted to reach out to Tali, only finding static, and she rolled her eyes. _Every time!_

"Please don't get there before I find you," April prayed as she sprinted after her team.

…

…

…

She should have thought more about what she would be seeing when she jumped into Hawaii's mind.

"Long time no see, Tau! How's everything going?"

He was exactly as he was before. The charming smile, wavy brown hair, the scar…

"York…"

She didn't think, just surged forward and suffocated him in a hug. All this time stuck in that canyon, away from them all… she missed them so much.

York tensed for a moment before wrapping his arms around her, petting her hair as he asked softly, "Hey, what's going on? You okay?"

"I–yeah, I just–" Tali abruptly pulled back, face reddening as she realized she wasn't this touchy-feely back in the Project, and shrugged, "I missed you a lot. I miss the others. Where are they?"

As soon as she said that she knew it was a mistake. If she stayed for too long, she wouldn't be able to leave.

And then suddenly Wash was behind York, peering at her. Maine was to his right, grinning lopsidedly at her, a smile rarely seen and only for her. The watery smile came against her will.

"H-Hey guys…"

"Tau? Haven't seen you in awhile," Washington smiled kindly at her, innocence radiating off him, "You can finally share the pain of the knock knock jokes."

"Oh, I've had a healthy dosage of that," Tali shot back with a light chuckle, fist bumping Maine, "Hey Mountain. How's the weather up there?"

The brute Freelancer scowled at her remark, grabbing her and lifting her into the air all the while ignoring her protest of _the fuck are you doing you crazy albino_ and smirking when she kicked her legs to try to get down.

"Alright alright, it's seventy-five with a slight wind, put me down now would you?" Tali crossed her arms and scowled at Maine, who took pity on her and set her gently on the floor.

"So what brings you here, Tau?" Washington asked curiously.

After a jolting reminder that this wasn't real, _they weren't there_ , she schooled her expression and said, "I'm looking for someone. An A.I.–"

"Big surprise there."

Tali whirled around, seeing the familiar cyan blue and fiery red crown, the soft green that was only glaring to her and Tex, and she tried to squash her annoyance toward a dead woman, "Carolina. It's been a while."

"And I wish it was longer," Carolina snarked, and it took all of Tali's willpower not to smash her into a wall, "Don't you have enough A.I. to sustain you?"

"Speak for yourself, bitch," South strutted up the ramp, arms crossed. She looked at Tali as she gestured to the redhead, "Crazy bitch decided her pretty little head needed two A.I. since it was so fuckin' complicated up there–"

" _South,_ " North's parenting voice rang from a ways away.

"Oh, spare me North!" South snarled back without bite.

Tali cracked a grin, shaking her head at the lilac and green Freelancer, "Just be thankful Carolina hasn't blown a Pelican up with you in it yet."

"Yeah, har har, _I'm still angry about that Tex!_ " South shouted to someone across the way.

" _OH GET OVER IT, BUTTERCUP!_ "

" _STOP CALLING ME BUTTERCUP!_ "

"I believe I could assist you on the whereabouts of this A.I., sister."

Tali jerked her head around to the voice, seeing a flaming orange figure on Maine's shoulder, and nodding, "Thanks Sig. I'm looking for Chi."

She tried to clamp down on the uneasy feeling she felt from seeing Sigma again. After Omicron planted that small seed of doubt about one of her brothers, she couldn't help but stress over it. It's what she does.

"Yes, he is in here. He wishes to trap you in here so he can continue to control Agent Hawaii."

"Well that's not gonna happen," Tali said with determination, "Location?"

"I can assist you, but the structure of this place is ever changing. I would need to be with you to show you the way exactly."

"Alright then. Maine, help me out for this?" Tali asked her fellow agent.

 _:You don't even have to ask:_ He growled in response, directing his attention to the other Freelancers, _:Who wants to join?:_

"Well," York slung an arm around Tali, much to her amusement, and replied, "I can't just let Libra's baby sister run off into danger without me now can I?"

"Count me in!" Washington nodded.

"Hell yeah, let's bust some heads!" South piped up, North imputing a more calm 'we're in' from beside her.

"Are you guys crazy?" Carolina yelped from the ramp, hands on her hips, "Tali just pops up and you all file in behind her?"

"Hey, what can we say? She's _team leader,_ " South drew out the title to provoke the number three, Carolina clenching her fists tightly in response.

Wash jolted and looked to his left, asking to thin air, "Tex?"

"I've always got your back, Tali," Tex materialized in front of her, a grin on her face as she cocked out her hip.

"I'm in," _of course Carolina would change her tune._

Tali only nodded, flashing a small smile of gratitude in her direction. Carolina remained stone faced.

"Lead the way, Sigma," Tali urged, and they set off.

…

…

…

" _What the hell is going on down at Blue Base?_ "

" _I dunno, it looks like– oh hey, look! A Grif sleeping on the job! That's a surprise._ "

" _Hey, isn't that Tali with her? Aw man, they must be besties now! Girls get to have all the fun!_ "

" _Shut up, Donut._ "

Well, she was too late.

April jumped over a mound of rocks and dashed across a walkway, slowing to a stop as Red team came into sight with Sarge and… a red flag. And who the hell was singing?

"Uhm… should I even ask?" April questioned, taking in the maroon soldier hypnotized by a green monitor and Sarge preaching about the Blues while Grif and Donut just looked passively at him.

Grif noticed her arrival, and said casually, "Hey guys, April doesn't have a top on."

"Woah– wha–?"

"Good googily moogily!"

Sarge and Simmons both jumped and whirled around to find April, seeing her fully armed and armored, and let out disappointed sighs. _What the fuck?!_

"Alright, I guess that means I'm committing treason in a second," April threatened as she lifted her plasma rifle.

"Please don't kill me!"

"My god… you really do have a illness from Grif! Oh no, _oh no_! A _GRIFNESS_!" Sarge wailed, "April, if you have any sane bone in your body left, shoot Grif! I will allow the treasonous act for the good of humanity."

"Wow. Thanks Sarge," Grif mumbled.

"And seriously? You don't even know what I _look_ like, let alone try to imagine… _that_!"

" _I_ know what you look like April!" Donut said knowingly, turning to the others, "And she is very gifted, I'll say that!"

"The fuck?" Grif yelped in disbelief, "I didn't… uh…"

"We-We're not!" April shook her head vehemently, "Donut is just being… well, Donut."

"That's some great reasoni _iiing woahh_ what's going on there?" Simmons suddenly refocused on the green tinted screen.

"How long have you guys been down here again?" April wondered, "Oh, and nice to see you alive, Donut!"

" _Aw, thank you_!" Donut squealed before glaring at the men, "You're the only one that _bothered_!"

"...Anyway," Grif coughed awkwardly under Donut's death glare, "We were trying to figure out a way to Blue base since they're attacking ours."

"But I say again that's a preposterous idea! They have tanks, machine guns, and _Freelancers_ –"

" _Their base is fucking empty… SIR!"_ Grif yelled.

"Oh. Excellent point then, Simmons."

Grif groaned in exasperation. The whole interaction had April scratching her head.

"I am so confused."

"And you should be! Where the hell were you all this time?!" Grif suddenly yelled at her angrily, throwing his arms out.

April furrowed her brows behind her visor, answering, "California caught me before I made it back to base… Tali and I just escaped a couple hours ago."

"California? You mean the guy that tried to kill that York guy Tali mentioned before?" Donut asked.

"That's the one," April said tiredly before perking up a bit, "On the bright side, Tali managed to run a plane into him, so I'm ninety-nine percent sure he's dead."

"…What about the other one percent?" Simmons questioned.

"Just covering my bases in case he decides to rise from the dead and become a radioactive zombie or something."

"…That's specific," Sarge commented after a moment, "And completely probable! Excellent strategizing April!"

"How is that strategizing again?" Grif asked.

April sighed. Back to the grinder, it seemed.

…

…

…

Seeing the other Freelancers fight again, joke again, had her lost for words.

It was like she never left, like she was always there on the _Mother of Invention_ , listening and joking and fighting and laughing with them. The Freelancers shared with her information of the Project that Hawaii could remember offhandedly, and it left her wanting to know more.

Unanswered questions of how the implantations went, of how the break in went. Of who this Meta was. She just wished she knew how everyone else fared on that fateful day.

Tali tried not to focus on Freelancer though, since worrying over something that has already happened wouldn't do her any good. She just focused on finding Chi and freeing Hawaii.

Sigma led them all directly to the yellow A.I., and an all out assault was launched on Chi's little bunker. Carolina and Tex were trying to find a weak spot in the bunker to slip inside, North was scanning the area diligently with his sniper rifle, and York was down on one knee, working on the damn lock while Maine, South, Wash, and herself formed a protective shield around him.

"And here I was thinking you might've improved in your lockpicking," Tali sighed dramatically, hoping to get a rise out of York.

He spluttered in response, "Hey! I've picked some locks successfully!"

"Without triggering an alarm?"

"Ye– uh… well…"

"Agent York's lockpicking skills have developed over the years exponentially," Delta appeared, hovering over York's shoulder, "But with his improvement, there are also improvements established to the locks themselves."

South snorted a laugh, "Dude, I think he just burned you."

York sighed, "Thanks for the support D."

"I do not mean to offend. I was merely stating factual data–"

"Yada yada yada, I know, I know."

Tali chuckled at the interaction, winking at the green A.I. right before he logged off, and tapped her foot, "You think it would be faster if I just punched it?"

"You and Tex are a hive mind, I swear…" York mumbled.

"I mean, I guess it would be. Wouldn't it set off the alarm though?" Wash mused.

"Fuck it, I'm doing it," Tali pushed York out of the way and drew back her fist, aiming at the door panel as she swung her arm forward–

Only for the door to slide open, and for Tex to receive the punch instead.

" _Augh_ , the _hell_ is wrong with you?!" Tex reeled back and cupped her chin, shaking her head as Carolina jumped back in surprise.

"Uh, sorry! I was just gonna smash the door open when your… face got in the way," Tali ended lamely, shrugging.

"Wonderful," Tex muttered as all the Freelancers filed inside.

"How'd you get in anyway?" Tali questioned, sauntering in with her hands on her hips.

"Weak point in the back wall with a little encouragement from explosives."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you, Tex," Tali smiled in amusement before schooling her expression and looking around. The room was fairly blank, the familiar running code in green and lining of objects in cobalt present. A holographic table was stuck in the center of the room, curved chairs that looked as if Tali would slip off it if she tried to sit formed in a circle around the table.

"This looks kinda…plain," Wash spoke as he went towards the chairs.

"Yeah, _too_ plain if you ask me," York muttered, gravitating toward the holographic terminal.

Maine kept close to Tali as she ran her fingers along the creases of the wall, eyeing how the code rippled and cracked. Chi was here _somewhere_. Where, she had no clue.

 _:What're you thinking?:_ Maine growled in his disturbing yet decipherable tone, and Tali felt his hands land on her shoulders, as he usually did.

"Chi has to be up to something. He wouldn't just leave this place unattended for no reason at all," Tali frowned, "But… I can't really pinpoint his location well when I'm in this form. Physically I can find him just fine, but not in code."

Maine stilled, thinking for a moment, before he squeezed her shoulders in reassurance and replied, _:No matter what Chi tries, we'll beat him like we always do:_

"Thanks Maine...I've missed you," Tali smiled a little, and Maine pat the top of her head affectionately.

"Uh...Tau?" York suddenly called, "We've got a small problem."

Tali narrowed her eyes before marching over to York, who was peering out of one of the small windows, "What is it?...Oh, _shit_."

Once they were all inside, Chi must have activated some sort of shield that encompassed the base, and the greenish glow was ominous to say in the least. Tali immediately went to the front and ran towards the barrier, hoping that it wasn't solid, but her body was thrown back once she made contact with it.

"Well fuck my life."

...

...

...

 _Hi there. I'm sorry for taking so long, I just don't have a lot of time to write for fanfiction anymore. Updates aren't going to be as fast as they were anymore, that's for sure. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone!_

 _Okay, questions in the reviews:_

 _To all that ship the Twin T ship: Are you satisfied?_

 _To all that ship April x Grif: Alright, what's the pairing name for them you creative bunch? Cause I ship them too! :D_

 _And to all that sent praise: Thanks to all of you beautiful people, knowing that people are enjoying my work is a great morale boost! Hugs to all of you!_

 _Iron-ninja: Tali was kidnapped off-screen, mostly because, I'll admit, I wasn't too sure how to write that scene. I tried to explain it through April's POV the best I could. Sorry for confusing you! But as for the time she was out, Sister was already with the Reds when Tali was searching, and once the Reds left, they went through with the burial of Sarge and Simmons' leadership. As Tali and April were escaping, Sister joined Blue team and then Tex showed up shortly after, and that is when their stories combine yet again. I hope this helps!_

 _Kilo8: Aw thank you, this review made my day! I'm glad you like it, and I will keep going with this story, I promise!_

 _13TheAce: I'm glad things are making sense to you so far! And thanks for reading! :)_

 _The next update may not happen for a while...and it might be shorter than usual. I know what I want to happen, but I'm having trouble putting pen to paper, y'know? Writers block sucks X(_

 _If any of you have any questions for me, either drop it in a review or pm me, I'll answer it if the answer doesn't reveal spoilers!_

 _Happy writing and Lonessa out!_


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